by Nikki Ash
“That’s amazing, buddy.” We both look up and see Caleb leaning against the wall with one of his crutches under his arm, smiling at Marco. He looks a lot better. Most of his bruising is now light yellow or completely gone, his leg is in a cast, but with his ribs starting to heal, he can use crutches when he needs to. Well, right now only one crutch, the one with his good shoulder.
“Want to see it?” Marco asks.
“Absolutely!”
Marco brings the test to Caleb and Caleb makes a huge deal out of it telling him the problems look really complicated. “I think this calls for a celebration. What do you want for dinner tonight?” Caleb asks him.
Marco looks unsure, like it’s a trick question. While he’s now smiling and dressing nicely on the outside, inside holds too much insecurity from years of abuse from his mother. He eats every meal like it’s his last, never gives his opinion unless we beg, and asks constantly what he can do to help out of guilt. The therapist told me it’s going to take time for Marco to be comfortable with just being a kid. He’s never been given the chance to behave like one before.
“Umm… Can we… maybe… order in Chinese and… umm… maybe invite Kayla and Bentley over so I can see Chloe?”
Caleb looks to me to confirm it’s okay with me, and I nod in agreement. I’m so proud of Marco for actually answering this time.
“Sure, buddy. Why don’t you go do your homework and I’ll text Bentley now?”
Marco says okay and heads to his room.
“He’s come a long way,” Caleb says softly to me.
“Yeah, he has. Karen from DCF has asked me if I’m interested in adopting him.”
Caleb’s face looks shocked. “What did you say?”
“Well, I know you and Marco are close, so I wanted to make sure it’s okay with you first. I don’t want to overstep.”
“Of course you can adopt him. You’ll make a great mom to him. I can already tell. What about Chloe?”
“Okay, good,” I say in relief. “I just wasn’t sure if maybe you wanted to. I agreed to foster him when you were in surgery. Oh, and Kayla said she’s looking into adopting Chloe. I considered adopting them both, but I know it would mean a lot to Bentley and Kayla since she can’t have any more kids.” When Kayla was giving birth to her daughter there were complications and the obstetrician had no choice but to perform a partial hysterectomy to save her life. Unfortunately that meant she wouldn’t be able to ever get pregnant again.
“Marco needs a mom like you. I know he’ll be in good hands when I’m healed and move out. I’m glad for Bentley and Kayla. They’re awesome parents.”
The thought of Caleb moving out makes my stomach sink. I know he’s only here because he’s hurt, but these last two weeks have felt like my house is finally a home. Marco is coming around, finally laughing and watching television, and the house is no longer quiet. The thought of Caleb leaving saddens me, but at least I’ll still have Marco. With Caleb’s leg being stuck in a cast for at least six weeks, I decide to enjoy his company while he’s here and not dwell on him eventually leaving.
“Thanks,” I say, forcing a smile.
“I’ll go text Bentley and Kayla and invite them over for dinner.”
“Sounds good.”
Dinner with Kayla, Bentley, and the babies went well. Kayla and Bentley have decided to officially start the process to adopt Chloe but insisted on making sure it’s okay with Marco. He said okay but then asked what would happen to him.
“How would you feel about me adopting you?” I asked him.
“Really?” he asked excitedly. Then he turned to Caleb. “Would you be adopting me, too?”
Caleb’s face sunk at his question. “Unfortunately the state frowns upon people who aren’t together adopting a child together, but with Hayley working at the gym, we’ll still get to hang out a lot.”
Marco scowled and if not for the sad situation causing these two to both be upset, I would laugh at how adorable they both looked. Hanging out so often together has caused their facial expressions to mimic one another. They might not be related, but they are very similar in their mannerisms.
“Okay,” Marco whispered, not comfortable enough yet to argue with something an adult said, even though he clearly didn’t agree.
After putting Marco to bed, I come out to the living room to watch some television. Caleb is sitting on the couch with his casted leg straight out in front of him texting someone with a frown once again on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sitting next to him on the couch.
He looks up and gives me a shrug. “My apartment is due to renew in a couple weeks. I’m going to have the guys move my stuff to storage. Once I’m out of this cast I’ll have to find a new place to live. I don’t need a three-bedroom apartment for just myself.”
“I have a two-car garage and it’s basically empty. Just have them put it all in there so you don’t have to pay for storage.”
“You sure?”
“Completely.”
“Okay, cool. Thanks.”
Caleb sends a few more texts and then puts his phone away.
“I guess I’ll just head to bed,” I say, standing, unsure of what to do. Caleb is usually in his room at night, not out here, and I want to give him his space.
“Wait! Want to watch something out here with me?”
“I was just going to watch The Bachelor, but we can watch something else…”
“No, The Bachelor is fine. I’m used to all those girly shows thanks to living with Kayla.”
“Okay.” I sit back down and grab the remote to put on the latest episode.
Chapter Twelve
Caleb
I don’t know why I ask her to stay and watch TV with me. I don’t even know why I’m sitting out here on the couch. I’ve been able to get up for days, but I usually stay in my room to avoid her. Before I got hurt I had asked her if she wanted to grab dinner sometime as friends but quickly thought it might have been a mistake. Now, instead of grabbing dinner, we’re living together. I’ve been here for two weeks and haven’t found a single thing wrong with this woman. She has taken to parenting Marco with natural grace. She bought him new clothes, signed him up for tons of school shit, and is home every day when he gets home. She cooks every meal and every single one tastes amazing. I even look forward to our nightly routine of playing games together before Marco goes to bed. She has given me plenty of space and hasn’t once tried to hit on me. She even wants to adopt Marco. When she brought it up, clearly nervous I was considering the same thing, I didn’t have the heart to say I was considering it. I know he deserves a permanent place to live, so I was looking into what needs to be done. I didn’t imagine she would also be considering it.
I know she’ll let me and Marco hang out, so I let it go. She’ll probably make a better parent than me anyway. She isn’t tainted with the past I have.
We’re watching some ridiculous show about a guy who has ten women all fighting over him. I look over at Hayley and see the hearts in her eyes over this shit.
“Do you really think you can meet your spouse on a show like this?” I ask, sounding as negative as my thoughts are.
She gives it some thought for a few seconds. Her cute nose scrunches up making me want to lean over and kiss it. “I’m not sure, but based on my results on the dating site Ashley had me join, it probably can’t hurt. Those guys who message me are crazy! At least on this show they have to do a background check.”
She cracks up laughing at herself and so many thoughts run through my head. First, I go back to my thought of wanting to kiss her nose. I decide to ignore that shit. Next, I think about the fact this beautiful woman seriously thinks she needs a dating site to meet a man. Is she crazy? Then again, she wanted me, and I turned her down. Nope, she’s not the crazy one… I am. My final thought is a feeling I only recently experienced, jealousy. Like when I saw Hayley dancing with Alex—my blood boils thinking of all these jackasses messaging her wanting a date. I’m not a h
undred percent sure I can trust this woman, but I’m going to figure my shit out soon before some dumbass on a dating site scoops up the woman I’m pretty sure I’m slowly falling for.
“You’re still on that dating site? Haven’t you ever heard of catfishing? You should stay off that shit. A beautiful woman on a dating site is just asking for trouble.”
Her eyes go wide and I backtrack realizing I just went off, and on top of that, called her beautiful. Fuck it! Let the chips fall where they may…
“Umm… Well technically I haven’t gone on a date yet using the site since I had to cancel my first one the night we went out to dinner with Marco. I didn’t like the way he acted about the whole situation of me having to cancel, so I never messaged him again.”
Good.
I just nod, trying to be cool. We go back to watching the show and the guy is going on a one-on-one date with one of the women who won the date because they had the most in common according to some quiz.
“Do you really believe these women tell the truth?”
“Of course! They can’t lie on television. Everybody would know they’re lying.” Wow, she is so gullible. I can’t help but chuckle at her seriousness.
“How would anybody know they’re lying? I’ve seen plenty of women lie and get away with it. I bet you could lie to me right now and I wouldn’t even know.”
“Okay, you’re on!”
“We’re going to need some alcohol for this. Go grab a bottle and then we’ll play a game.”
She jumps up from the couch and goes to the kitchen to grab some liquor while I watch her cute behind sway in her tight tank top and tiny little cotton shorts that reads Will squat for tacos across the back of her ass. She always wears them around the house at night and swears Taco Tuesday is a real holiday. And so far every Tuesday she’s made tacos.
“All I have is a bottle of Patron Silver. Is that okay?”
“Sure.” I take the bottle and pour two shots into the glasses she brought over.
“Okay, so what’s the game?”
“It’s called two truths and one lie. You’ll tell me three facts. Two of them will be the truth and one of them will be a lie. If I figure out which one is the lie you have to take a shot. If I can’t figure it out, I have to take the shot.”
“Okay,” she says smiling. “Hmmm… Let me see…” She’s so cute as her eyes shoot up to the ceiling and her finger taps her chin in concentration trying to think of what to say.
“Okay, I visit New York yearly, I love fuzzy socks, and I hate exercising.
“Your lie is you hate exercising.”
She smiles big. “Nope! Drink up! My lie is that I visit New York yearly. Other than going to Breckenridge and to the different sports arenas for the UFC fights, I have never been anywhere, like on vacation. I would love to go to New York one day.”
I down the shot of Patron and think how awesome it would be to take her to New York. I was there a while back for a photo shoot for the UFC and there’s so much to do and see.
“See?” I tell her. “It’s hard to tell when someone is lying.”
“I guess,” she says softly. “But I wouldn’t want to purposely mislead someone I’m trying to be with. If those women lie on The Bachelor they’re basing their relationship on a lie. They must know it won’t work out in the end.”
My heart speeds up at her words. She’s too good to be true. She is so damn sweet and innocent. I grab another shot and down it, letting the alcohol numb my brain… and my heart. She’s confusing the shit out of me.
“Hey! I didn’t even give you any truths or lies. You aren’t supposed to drink yet.”
“Sorry, go ahead. Try again.”
“Okay, I love to gamble at the slot machines, I love to cook, and I love to play candy crush on my phone.”
“I have no clue what candy crush is, so I’m going to go with that one for your lie because we live in Las Vegas and your cooking is good as fuck.”
She giggles and pours me a shot. “Drink up! My lie was that I love to gamble at the slot machines. I have never even gambled before.”
I shoot the shot back welcoming the burn in my throat. “How is that possible? Haven’t you lived in Vegas your whole life?”
“Yep, but I never went gambling. I also have never been to a strip club or to watch the fountains at the Bellagio. I spent so much time studying and going to school I guess I forgot to take advantage of where I live.”
Before I know what I’m saying, I blurt out, “That’s going to have to change. When my leg is out of this cast we are hitting up the strip clubs, a casino, and the fountains all in one night.”
She laughs and pours herself a shot. “Okay, so now it’s your turn. Tell me two truths and a lie.”
My cellphone rings right then and my dad’s attorney’s name shows up on the caller ID. He called before I was put in the hospital and a couple more times, never leaving a voicemail. I might as well answer this shit and get it over with. I show her my phone is ringing and answer it.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Caleb! It’s Jason Caldwin, your father’s attorney.”
“Yeah, I know who you are. What’s up?”
I see Hayley trying to act like she’s not listening next to me. I want to stand up and walk away, but I can’t with my gimp leg.
“Caleb, we need to speak. It’s about your father.”
“I haven’t spoken to my father in over seven years. If he wants to talk to me he can call me himself.”
“He can’t do that, Caleb. He passed away last month. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Gloria handled the funeral since I couldn’t get you to answer but there is the issue of the will. I need to meet with you in person so we can go over the details.”
Holy shit! My dad is dead. The man who chose his pedophile pimp of a wife over his son is dead. My last words to him were I’m out of here. I should hate him but my heart hurts. It shouldn’t hurt, but flashbacks of life before my mom died flash in front of me. Camping, sports events, concerts, him taking my sister and me to the park on Sunday mornings to let mom sleep in. I want to hate him, but knowing he’s dead, all I can feel is pain.
I don’t even realize I’ve dropped the phone or that there are tears pouring down my face, when Hayley moves toward me and grabs my phone to talk to Jason. I don’t know what is said. It’s all a blur. She sets the phone down and looks unsure of what to do. Can you blame her? The crazy mixed signals I have sent… Not wanting her to touch me. How do you comfort someone without touching him? And then I lose it. The lump in my throat that feels like it’s going to close up and choke me to death suddenly releases and I cry.
Before I can question it I’m laying in her lap bawling for the loss of the man I once looked up to while Hayley runs her fingers through my hair massaging my scalp. She doesn’t say a word, just lets me let it all out. When I finally stop crying, I don’t wait for her to ask if I’m okay. I don’t know what makes me do it, but I tell her everything I’ve kept to myself.
“My dad is dead. I haven’t seen him in seven years.”
“Why haven’t you seen him?”
“My stepmom raped me when I was fifteen.” I hear Hayley gasp at my words, but she doesn’t say anything.
I can’t look at her. I don’t know what makes me trust her in this moment, but I don’t question it.
“After she forced herself on me and took my virginity, she had sex with me for several years while my dad was away on business. Then she pimped me out to a bunch of unhappily married women. I have never had sex of my own free will. When my dad caught us together she blamed me and he chose to believe her. I left and never looked back.”
I give her a few minutes to absorb everything I just gave her. When she doesn’t say anything but continues to play with my hair, I know she’s waiting for me to continue.
“It’s why I hate being touched. It’s not that I don’t want to be touched. I just want it to be my choice. I spent years being forced to touch women I didn’t wa
nt to touch.”
Her fingers stop moving, so I turn my face toward her stomach to look at her. I keep my eyes closed, afraid of the disgust or pity I’ll see. After counting to three, I look into her eyes, only I don’t see disgust or pity, I see a beautiful woman smiling at me.
“Well that’s good to know. I thought it was me, like maybe I smelled bad or had bad breath. I’m glad to know it’s you not me…”
I burst out in laughter. I word vomit all over her and she lightens the mood by cracking a joke. I can see why she’s such good friends with Kayla and Liz. She is good.
“Are you okay?”
If that ain’t a loaded question…
I left out a heavy breath. “I don’t know. I hate that I never had a chance to make him believe me, but at the same time, I’m mad that he chose not to believe me. Now he’s dead and his attorney needs me for the will. I don’t know if I can handle flying back there and being in the same room as that cunt.”
“Well, how about this? Marco has a three-day weekend coming up. You’ll need help getting around, so why don’t we fly there together? We can stay at a resort just outside of Boulder at one the ski resorts and take Marco to see snow.”
Damn this woman and her positivity, how did I not see how amazing she is before now? Oh, that’s right… because I pushed away all women lumping them into the same compartment as the women who have lied to me in the past.
“You would do that for me? After I continually ignored you and pushed you away?”
“How about we start over? Let’s be friends. You’re going to be here for several weeks anyway. Let’s start over.”
Friends? Fuck that! I don’t think I want to be friends with Hayley. I want to be more than friends, but I guess friends is a good place to start…
“Okay, friends.”
She gives me a full-blown thousand mega-watt smile that could seriously light up a dark room and all I want to do is grab her by her neck and pull her face to me and kiss her. But I don’t. Instead, I smile back.
