Now she would likely not be asked to attend another event. Lady Susannah’s aunt was already on the mend, it seemed. But she would be forced to read every article in the paper that referred to the new Viscount Shaw. Her charges would speculate about him in her presence.
Some might even ask for advice on how to best catch his eye.
“I cannot,” she whispered out loud.
So yes, perhaps an escape to her mother’s home on the outskirts of London, far from Society’s glare, would be best. Not that she believed for a moment that it would ease the pain in her heart.
That was something only time could mend.
She folded the letter and put it into a drawer to be answered later, after she’d had time to consider the impact departing at this critical juncture would have on her finances. She was about to move to the next piece of correspondence on her pile when there was a light knock on the door.
“Yes?”
Her servant, Miles, opened her door a crack. “Miss Higgins, you have a caller.”
She stood and stepped forward to take the card Miles held out. When she turned it over, her heart all but stopped. There, in gold filigree and swooping lettering, was David’s name.
The Viscount Shaw.
“Oh,” she whispered, steadying herself somehow as she stared at the card and reread it over and over.
Miles tilted his head, his expression turning from one of business-like efficiency to one of concern. “I’m sorry, miss. Is there something I can do? Should I tell the gentleman you are not at home?”
That would be the best thing to do, of course. To send him away. Likely he would not return, since she had no doubt he knew full well that she was in residence.
But that was cowardly. A bad way to behave.
And in truth, she so desperately wanted to see him one last time. To smell him, to feel his warmth in the room with her. Just to…look at him.
“Send the gentleman in,” she said. “But we won’t require tea. I do not think he’ll stay long.”
Miles wrinkled his brow in confusion at the odd direction, but went back to the foyer. She stepped to the window and smoothed her skirts as she awaited their return.
“The Viscount Shaw,” Miles said as David entered the room in one long, certain stride.
Her knees wobbled as she stared at him. She’d only seen him last night, but she was forever shocked at how handsome he was. He smiled at her and her heart hurt even more.
“Th-that will be all, Miles,” she stammered. “Will you close the door?”
Her servant’s lips parted, but he did as she asked, stepping from the room and shutting the door inappropriately behind him. When they were alone, she took a step forward, then stopped and worried her hands before her. Oh, why had she refused the idea of tea? At least pouring would have given her something to do rather than just stare at him.
“Good afternoon, my lord,” she said, happy she was able to form the words. “I did not expect you.”
“I thought you might refuse me if I sent word ahead,” he admitted. “And I had to see you, Rose.”
She blinked. There was something different to his voice today. Something…lighter. She’d never heard that tone from him before, but she liked it. His happiness meant a great deal to her, and this sounded like that. Perhaps that would be enough.
“I’m happy to receive you, though I don’t know why you’ve come. I think we said all there was to say last night.”
“No, we didn’t,” he said with a snort. “I said nothing, nothing that mattered. I have not said or done anything that mattered in a very long time.”
She wrinkled her brow. “I don’t understand.”
“You told me to live my future for myself, not out of vengeance, yes?”
She nodded. “Yes. That’s my hope for you.”
“Well, you were right. You are always right—it is truly the most wonderful and frustrating thing about you.” He laughed and she couldn’t help but smile in response, though she still didn’t understand why he was standing in her parlor. “I spoke to my mother, Rose. She told me things—oh, I can’t wait to tell you all about them. Because you are the person I want to give my secrets to. My pains. My triumphs. You are the only person in any room who has ever truly mattered to me.”
Her lips parted and a swell of pure joy brought a rush of tears to her eyes. But she shoved it down. She had to shove it down.
“David,” she said, holding up a hand. “We both know—”
“No, I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything until you taught me. Not about forks and waltzes and accents. You taught me something much more valuable.”
It was too much now and she moved to turn away, to gather herself. He stepped forward, blocking her escape. He touched her arm, but he didn’t pull her to him. He just held it gently as he stared down into her face with those blue eyes lit with hope and emotion.
“We can’t have this,” she whispered, her voice cracking.
“I love you.”
She blinked up at him as the power of that declaration roared through her, making her ears ring and her knees shake and the blood drain from her cheeks. She must have looked like it, as well, for he frowned and drew her to the settee.
“Sit before you faint,” he ordered, sounding every bit the lord in that moment.
“I have never fainted in my life,” she sputtered, but did as he required.
He grinned as he took the spot next to her. “Then I shall take great pride in being the first person to almost make you do so.”
He waited as she drew a few breaths, found her calm. She appreciated the time, for it also allowed her to find the words to respond.
“David, I need to say all of this before you interrupt me. Will you allow it?” He made a play of locking his lips and nodded. She fought the urge to smile at his teasing. “The first thing I must tell you is how much those words mean to me because…because I love you, too.”
His eyes went wide and he made a sound of joy deep in his chest as he grabbed for her hands. She shook her head, snatching them from his reach.
“Please,” she said. “This is hard enough. Loving each other, it solves nothing. It is only a heartbreak for us both, actually. Your road to acceptance will be bumpy enough as is. Last night was a success, yes, but I’m certain there will also be setbacks. I care for you and I want you to have the future you deserve. If you were to be with me, a no one, a middle-class girl whose life has been built on teaching the very propriety we would thwart by being together, your reputation might never recover.”
His nostrils flared. She could see he wanted to retort, but he continued to honor her wishes and remained silent.
“Because I love you—” She choked on the words. “I-I must let you go, don’t you see? Let you try to succeed.” He sat silently, and she shifted. “And that’s—that’s all.”
“You refuse me in order to save me,” he said.
She was shocked he remained so calm. “Yes.”
“Tell me something,” he said, getting up to pace to the window. He turned and speared her with a glance. “If you and I had met six months ago, fallen in love and married, and then it had been determined that I was the heir, would you have been forced from my life?”
She blinked, for that was a scenario she’d never considered. “Er…no,” she admitted. “If you had come into your title with a bride already on your arm, then the two of you would have been elevated together. She would have attended last night’s ball with you.”
“Then what is the difference now?” he asked.
“The difference is that I didn’t find you before,” she snapped, getting to her feet. “I don’t even know how that would have happened.”
He smiled. “I like to fantasize that you stumbled into a hell, I seduced you shamelessly and then swiftly came to the same realization I have come to now. That life is only worth living if you are in it. That you are the love of my life and I want to be with you every day until my last.”
“David,” she murmured, stricken again, by how his beautiful words spun a tale of a future she’d never dared dream of.
“You are telling me that a matter of six months is the difference between happiness and misery?” he asked. “Is that really what you think should be?”
She bent her head. “I don’t want to make it harder for you.”
“You can only make it harder by refusing me and sending me away without you.” He moved on her, and this time he did draw her into his arms. His hands caressed her back, her body molded naturally to his. And it felt so damned right.
“The talk…the censure,” she murmured, her walls coming down even as she clung to them, to him.
“Will fade eventually, according to my cousin,” he said. “Richard approves, having seen my father tear himself to shreds with misery over regret for what he gave up like a coward.”
“Your cousin knows your feelings?” she gasped.
He nodded. “Of course. I told him this morning. Not to ask his permission, though. I would have come here even if he said he would never speak to me again because of it. Let me reiterate, Rose. I love you. I will love you until I draw my last breath. And I want to marry you.”
She shut her eyes. He seemed so certain of what could and couldn’t be done, how their lives could be led. It made her own doubts fade, whittled down to nothing in the face of the prospect of being his.
“What if you come to lament this choice?”
“I won’t.” He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers. Gently at first, and then with more pressure and purpose. When he drew away, her world was spinning. “I will never regret you. I will never regret this. Please…”
He pulled from her arms and dropped to a knee before her. “I know I’m not the kind of man you deserve. I know I’m rough and that there will be struggles. But I love you, Rose Higgins. I love you with all my heart and I want to make you my wife.”
She stared into his face, memorizing the lines of it. Not because she would never see it again, but because that face would be hers to see and kiss and wake up to for the rest of her life.
“Yes,” she whispered. Then she laughed and tilted her head back. “Yes!”
He jumped to his feet and caught her up, kissing her as he laughed with joy and relief and the promises of a life together. And in that moment she knew that nothing else mattered but him and them and forever.
Epilogue
Six months later
Rose linked her hand through David’s and smiled at the scene on the lawn in the distance. The crisp fall air did not prevent their mothers, his cousin Richard and their friends from a rousing game of croquet.
“Someone is going to get hurt,” she said with a laugh as the Duchess of Abernathe swung her mallet with all her might and nearly deposited herself on her backside as her husband laughed.
David grinned at her. “Only if they’re doing it right.”
Rose rested her head on his shoulder as they stood together. “All my fears, all those things that nearly kept me from you…they seem so far away now.”
He nodded. “When I think we almost walked away from each other…it keeps me up nights.”
“And yet here we are,” she said. “Oh, the acceptance isn’t complete. Occasionally I hear a nasty word when I enter a room. But the patronage of the Duke and Duchess of Abernathe and the clear acceptance of Richard have eased our path.”
“As has the fact that you are wonderful.” He turned her toward him and dropped a playful kiss to the tip of her nose. “And I adore you.” Another kiss. “And all the ton loves a love story.”
She glanced back at their guests and then wrapped her arms around his neck. “Then we will give them such a love story, David, that it will put all others to shame.”
“That’s my girl,” he said, smiling as he claimed her lips.
Also by Jess Michaels
The Scandal Sheet
One wicked little paper, six stories of the scandals within.
The Return of Lady Jane
Stealing the Duke
Lady No Says Yes
My Fair Viscount
Guarding the Countess (coming September 2019)
The House of Pleasure (coming November 2019)
* * *
The 1797 Club
For information about the series,
go to www.1797club.com to join the club!
The Daring Duke
Her Favorite Duke
The Broken Duke
The Silent Duke
The Duke of Nothing
The Undercover Duke
The Duke of Hearts
The Duke Who Lied
The Duke of Desire
The Last Duke
* * *
Seasons
An Affair in Winter
A Spring Deception
One Summer of Surrender
Adored in Autumn
* * *
The Wicked Woodleys
Forbidden
Deceived
Tempted
Ruined
Seduced
* * *
The Notorious Flynns
The Other Duke
The Scoundrel’s Lover
The Widow Wager
No Gentleman for Georgina
A Marquis for Mary
* * *
The Ladies Book of Pleasures
A Matter of Sin
A Moment of Passion
A Measure of Deceit
* * *
The Pleasure Wars Series
Taken By the Duke
Pleasuring The Lady
Beauty and the Earl
Beautiful Distraction
About the Author
USA Today Bestselling author Jess Michaels likes geeky stuff, Vanilla Coke Zero, anything coconut, cheese, fluffy cats, smooth cats, any cats, many dogs and people who care about the welfare of their fellow humans. She is lucky enough to be married to her favorite person in the world and lives in the heart of Dallas, TX where she's trying to eat all the amazing food in the city.
When she’s not obsessively checking her steps on Fitbit or trying out new flavors of Greek yogurt, she writes historical romances with smoking hot alpha males and sassy ladies who do anything but wait to get what they want. She has written for numerous publishers and is now fully indie and loving every moment of it (well, almost every moment).
Jess loves to hear from fans! So please feel free to contact her in any of the following ways (or carrier pigeon):
www.AuthorJessMichaels.com
Email: [email protected]
Jess Michaels raffles a gift certificate EVERY month to members of her newsletter, so sign up on her website:
http://www.AuthorJessMichaels.com/
My Fair Viscount: (The Scandal Sheet Book 4) Page 9
