"Give up my playing? But I am just starting to get good at it," Lillianna protested.
Suddenly, the dinner area was quiet as everyone leaned toward Chloe, praying she had an answer to their pain. "Lady Darby, you are more likely to be called on to dance whilst in England before you are expected to entertain others on the piano."
"You are brilliant," Arabella whispered.
Darby was quick to leap on the idea. "Definitely. We shall no doubt attend several parties, and dancing is a must."
"But I don't know the first thing about dancing," Lily fretted. "Maybe I should stick to the piano?"
"No!" Every person in the hall yelled in unison, and Lily flinched, looking up with wide eyes.
Arabella turned to her quietly. "It's selfish of me, Lily, but I must insist I have more time with the piano. After all, my dear husband got it for me as a wedding present. I'll be happy to play some waltzes while the gentlemen teach you the most popular dances."
"I guess we can take turns on the piano," Lily shrugged.
"And I have not gotten to play it yet," Chloe quickly pointed out. "Please forgive me, but I really must beg to be allowed to play whenever Arabella is not doing so. I may never get a chance to play again once we reach England."
Remembering the truth about Chloe's history, Lily completely forgot her need to learn the skill. "Then you shall play as long and as often as you like. I can resume my lessons later on."
The crewmen smiled among themselves.
Chloe was now the heroine of the journey.
Dancing naked in the moonlight…
Darby was amazed that Lily took to dancing as if she was born to it. The innate gracefulness she possessed delighted him, and he said so. He thought perhaps he might be able to teach her a few steps so they could perform at the next ball in their summer home.
It would be a week before they were to disembark at Liverpool. The day had passed, and Chloe sat at the piano, playing some of the music she'd learned at home when her mother was still living. They had begun the evening down below deck, while both the captain and he were off-duty. Instead of the waltzes that Arabella usually played, Chloe was playing the music to some of the contredans steps they did frequently at balls. He wondered where she'd heard them. But Lily's graceful steps matched his, exactly as he'd taught her.
As they moved closer to each other from the opposite sides, their eyes met and locked. Suddenly, there seemed to be no one else in the room. The crewmen off duty had come to watch. The captain and Arabella seemed as if they were in their own little world, as well. Benny and Sarah stayed with Chloe as Darby took Lily upstairs to their cabin.
"I want you, my love," he whispered gently into her ear as he closed the door behind them and locked it.
Lily watched, her green eyes still wide, as he moved to the window and opened it slightly. Chloe's music wafted in on the breeze, and in the moonlight, he turned Lily gently away from him and began to unbutton the back of her gown, letting it fall to the floor. Swiftly, he picked it up and laid it across the chair. She stood before him in her corset and shift.
Taking her hand, he led her into some of the dance steps he'd taught her. But her nimble hands reached up to undo his uniform waistcoat as they danced. When they stopped for him to bow and her to curtsy, it joined her gown on the chair. The music started softly again, and Darby smiled as his wife circled in front of him and came back to meet him. They danced face to face as he deftly reached around her and began to loosen the laces on her corset.
He ran his hands through her silken hair and threaded it through his fingers and down her back. "Ah, so beautiful," he said softly into her ear.
Taking her shoulders and turning her so her back was to him, he allowed her corset to fall to the floor. Lily turned to him, her eyes shining, and he leaned down to kiss her before gently sending her into a pirouette. She danced away from him, coming back into his arms, and one by one, their garments slid to the floor until they stood naked in the moonlight.
Darby put a finger to her lips. Her eyes grew wide, but she nodded as if she understood. The music gently floating in on the air was so soft, so elegant, neither of them dared break the spell. When he lifted her into his arms and laid her gently onto the pillows on the bed, he leaned down over her. Kissing her, softly at first, then more powerfully, his need for her increased.
Lily reached up and put her arms about his neck, as if she was afraid he would pull away, and coaxed his tongue further inside with her own. Slowly, he ran his arms down her body, caressing her breasts, her waist, the gentle swell of her hips, and edged her thighs apart. Her gasp was ever so slight. She parted her legs further, inviting him inside, and he smiled down into her moonlit face, thinking he was the luckiest man ever to be alive.
When they came together, the ecstasy of it seemed to go on forever.
"My lord," she whispered, just before falling asleep. "I love you."
The agony of menses…
Lily awakened during the night, groaning with dread and pain and clutching her abdomen.
"Lillianna? What is it, my love?" There was alarm in his voice.
"Please," she moaned. "Make it stop. It's dreadful."
He shot out of the bed, fumbling for the lantern. A moment later, there was light in the room. She felt her husband's arms around her, turning her toward him. "Where do you hurt, my darling?" He raised the sheet to see her. The first thing he noticed was blood. "Lillianna! You're bleeding!"
"Yes." Her answer seemed to be entirely too calm for what he was thinking. "That's normal, Charlie. It's menses. I need something to put under me."
He was staring at her. Normal? Menses? This was something he'd heard of but knew absolutely nothing about firsthand. He moved about the room and returned, lifting her and putting a towel under her bottom. "What can I get you, sweetheart? A hot water bottle for warmth? Ice? The medic? Hot soup? Tell me. I have no idea."
"Knock me in the head for three days," she said irritably. "It's always like this. And let me be." She was moaning once again.
"But surely, there's something I can do—"
"No, Charlie," she whispered. "Just leave me alone. I just want to die in peace."
"I'll get the medic." His voice sounded alarmed. "Don't argue with me, young lady. You need something to be done for you and I obviously don't know what it is. I'll be right back."
"Go," she muttered. "Just let me die." She heard the door close behind him and glanced over at it. "He left me? What kind of a God-fearing man would leave a dying wife! Oh, God!" she said aloud as she curled up more tightly into a ball, holding her abdomen.
An instant later, she looked up to see the room was full of people, including Chloe. "Darby? What did you do, bring everyone you could find to witness my demise?" She squinted upward to see a sleepy-eyed crewman standing over her.
"Lady Darby. The commander said you're in a great deal of pain. And he said there was blood present. Would you allow me to examine you?"
"Absolutely not. I know what's wrong with me. It's only menses. Please leave me alone." She looked up into her husband's eyes as the medic finally gave up and stepped back, raising his hands in defeat. Lily looked from one to the other of them, demanding to be left alone. "It's no different than it is every other month of the year. Go away, all of you. You, too, Charlie—Darby, my lord, whatever the bloody hell I'm to call you—I can't remember!" She followed the tirade by bursting into tears and turned away from them.
Arabella put a gentle hand on Darby's arm. Lily could hear her as she spoke softly, "It's really all right, sir. Some ladies react very violently to their menses. It'll get better and go away within a day or two, I promise."
"Three," Lily added, glaring at her husband.
Darby was looking down at Arabella, mouthing, "Three?"
"It's worse for some ladies than others," she answered softly. But Lily was clutching at her belly and starting to cry now. She felt him sit down on the bed next to her and muttered for him to go away.
"I'm not going anywhere, Lillianna, as long as you are in pain."
The commander glanced at the medic, who nodded and left the room. The captain followed him, and Arabella approached.
"Is there anything I can do, Lily?" she asked softly.
"Just throw me overboard," was the answer. Lily suddenly seemed to realize how she was acting and began to cry. "I'm sorry, all of you, for being so awful. I promise I'll make it up to you… Oh, Charlie, I feel sick."
The commander was rubbing Lily's back, now, and looked up helplessly at Bella.
Arabella looked down at her with sympathy. "Lily, my mother used to make a special kind of tea when I would feel ill with menses. Would you like me to go to the kitchen and see if they have some?"
"Please," a whisper answered. Darby continued to rub her lower back, and she finally looked up over her shoulder at him. "That helps, Charlie. Thank you."
Arabella nodded toward Darby, and Gregory ushered her out. A few minutes later, however, they arrived with the tea.
"Sarah knew just what to do. She and the old cook are having a battle of wills, it seems. She's threatening him with her spoon."
For once, Lily laughed out loud and reached for the mug Bella held out.
Darby leaned forward, helping her steady it as she drank. "Thank you, Lady Smythe," he whispered, without taking his eyes from Lily.
She nodded, and Gregory ushered her out of the cabin toward their own. Lily finished it, and a few moments later, her lids grew heavy and her eyes closed. She slept fitfully, what little there was left of the night. Dreams returned, old dreams, filled with the textile mill, the sounds of the looms, a child's scream and the answering shouts of the superintendent.
"No, Mr. Fenwirth," she mumbled. "I can't. I can't!"
"It's all right, my darling. It's just a dream."
She opened her eyes, looking into her husband's face. The lantern was still lit, and he was hovering over her. Raising her hand to his cheek, she managed a smile. "Oh, Charlie, thank God it's you," was all she could say before closing her eyes again.
The captain showed up to the cabin on the third day. His second in command had been late for his duties several times, and when he did appear, he seemed to be exhausted.
Gregory looked him over. "Are you sure this illness is not more serious than we thought?"
"Aside from nightmares and a few crying fits, my wife seems to be recovering nicely. Fear not, my friend, Chloe assures me my bride will be back to her sassy self by tomorrow's noon meal."
"Maybe you should try to rest today, Commander," Gregory suggested. "You are dead on your feet."
Darby gave him a sharp look. "There is no rest to be had while my bride is afoot, Captain. When she is not in pain, I am torn between making love to her and putting her across my knee. With this monthly crisis, I fear I may never sleep a full night again."
"Get her with child, my friend," Gregory teased.
The commander stopped in mid step and reflected on the matter. "Captain? You're brilliant. I should have come to you for advice long ago. Nine full months of peace and quiet…" He grinned toward the captain. "It's perfect!"
At the noon meal, as Chloe had predicted, the other set of newlyweds was present. What was not expected was Lily's heartfelt apology to everyone present. "I have been rather horrible to each and every one of you of late, either directly…" Here, she paused to eye the other ladies and two men her table. "Or by stealing your commander so he could play nursemaid to me, no doubt causing you all to have extra duties." She made eye contact with most of the sailors dining with them, ending with a sincere, "I'm sorry."
Gregory leaned over to congratulate Darby on getting her to make such a grand gesture, and Lily heard his quiet reply, "I had not expected to address the issue until later today because I wanted to make sure she was well before chastising her."
Lily sat down and settled her napkin across her lap. "A true lady admits her faults and begs forgiveness," she said softly.
"Well done, my darling." Darby leaned down to kiss her temple.
Lily waited until he was eating before she winked at the two women who had helped her dress for the meal. They had suggested her husband would no doubt address some of the less polite things she had done while indisposed. But even if they hadn't, Lily would have eventually realized the need to make amends.
Her nightmares about the mills and especially Fenwirth, the man who ran it, had reminded her of dreadful times in the past. In some ways, it was a death trap. One person's demeanor could affect the lives of countless others. The way she saw it, there were two kinds of people in the world. The first kind eventually realized how important it was to do their best. They would work hard to keep others from suffering. The other kind seemed to revel in others' suffering and find great pleasure in witnessing it. Mr. Fenwirth definitely fell into the second category.
The next day, she stood outside, holding on to the side of the ship. The nightmares continued as their voyage grew closer to an end. Lily realized she was rushing back toward England now. Even though she was the wife of a future earl, she still felt inferior. No amount of teas, dancing and piano sessions would turn her into the type of lady Charlie deserved. She would be out of place again, lost between two worlds—the privileged and the working class—never fitting completely within either.
Charles cuddled her after making love to her later that night. "You do realize how much I love you?"
Lillianna's backside clenched in reaction. Those words often announced the beginning of a lesson her new husband planned to impart, most of which did not end well for her fanny. "I have been on my best behavior of late, sir." An inspiration settled in her mind and she jumped on it. "Sir, I fear my condition of late might have impaired my actions. If I have done anything to…"
He put his finger over her lips to silence her. Pulling her to lay atop him as they rested in the bed, he locked eyes with his bride. "I require your trust, little wife. It is my duty to take care of you. To do that, I need to know of your past, especially if it intrudes on your present. Tell me about your time in the mill."
She would have preferred he spank her for some horrible offense than talk about it and tensed. "I do not wish to think about that horrid place, my lord."
He managed not to chuckle at her reproachful face. "During the day, no doubt, you manage to achieve your goal. At night, however, you dream often of that place. Trust me to help you come to terms with what happened there, my love."
"I worked at the mill after leaving the orphanage," she forced herself to confide.
"On the looms?" he prodded, and she tensed all the more, merely nodding quietly. "Am I to assume Mr. Fenwirth was your superior?"
Flashes of awful scenes filled her mind—a boney faced man shouting at her, being a young girl of fourteen and crying uncontrollably as she was ordered to climb under the loom, only to have it collapse on top of her, the blood that had soaked the front of her woolen garment, and having to be stitched up by the local midwife. Being banished from the mill for being injured and failing to meet her allocated assignments for the day had been so unfair.
"What is it, love? You've become frightfully pale."
"I am a lady now. Is that not correct?" she asked him through hooded lids.
"You are the strongest, most beautiful lady I know, Lillianna."
"Ladies do not speak of such things, Darby."
His mouth flattened. It occurred to him that she might concede if he threatened to spank. But he changed his mind. He knew that little face well enough by now. No amount of reasoning, threatening and browbeating would change her opinion on the matter.
For the present, he decided to give up. With one swift move, he moved her so he was on top, looking down into her surprised eyes. "All right, my girl. But be aware. If these nightmares continue, I will do whatever is necessary to get to the bottom of this. And that includes yours. Do you understand me?"
Her eyes widened, even as her bottom clenched.
"Ye
s, my lord."
The docking…
The ship was about to finish unloading the cargo they had picked up for England, when Gregory came to stand beside Darby and Lily and smiled.
"Not long before we load again, Commander. Will you be on board?"
"I need to take Lily to meet my parents, first. Honestly, I can't be assured—" He stopped suddenly, as a crewman approached.
"Commander," he said, panting with exertion. "The gentleman down on the dock says he has urgent news for you."
Darby turned to glance at the captain. "I'll be right back."
Lily felt her husband's tension. "I'm coming with you, my lord. He looks like he has important news."
He escorted her down as quickly as her small feet could make it. They had barely stepped off the plank as he was approached.
"The Right Honorable Viscount of Darby?"
"Yes. How may I help?'
"I have a message from Countess of Darby, my lord. It is regarding your father, the earl."
The commander stared. "What is it?"
"He is very ill, my lord. I was asked to meet you and tell you to come without delay."
Darby frowned. "He's in Darby?"
"No, my lord. In the summer home near Glossyp. We brought the coach for you."
Lily, beside him, gasped and clasped his upper arm, and he looked down into her eyes as he said, "Wait here, my darling. I must tell the captain I may not be able to make the next voyage."
She nodded, watching as he ran back up the gangplank. A moment later, he was back, ushering her into the coach.
"Oh, Charlie," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
His arm went around her. "Thank you, Lillianna."
"How long will it take us to get there?"
"Not long. It is good that he's near Glossyp. It's closer. We should be there by this evening."
Lily sat, grasping his arm just above the elbow. What was wrong with the earl? Would he live? She hoped, for Charlie's sake, his father would recover. She remembered her mother's death vividly and then her father's. Now, some of the details came back to her. Was it any easier to lose your parents and become orphaned when you were an adult than when you were a child? She wouldn't have known her father had intended to die, had it not been for overhearing the valet's comments to the maid just before he lost his job, along with all the other servants. Even now, it put a clamp on her chest. She frowned.
Conquered by the Commander (The Conquered Book 2) Page 5
