by Emma Tharp
It's easy to see that Connor has kept in shape. Even with jeans on, they hug his long, lean frame perfectly, highlighting his toned thighs and round ass. That, paired with the fact that he is still playing hockey after all these years, shakes up those butterflies in my belly and gets them moving. I'd love to watch him play again. I used to go to his games and cheer him on in high school.
I remember freshman year of high school going to one of Connor’s games. He scored the game winning goal. After the game, a group of girlfriends and I waited around to congratulate the guys. My heart skipped a beat when Connor came out of the locker room and walked right up to me with a huge smile on his face and hair wet from a shower. He engulfed me in a bear hug that I felt everywhere. I told him how happy I was for him and he thanked me. Seconds later, Sara Richards, Connor’s girlfriend at the time, raced up to him and threw herself into his arms, squealing in delight. It crushed me because I wanted to be his girlfriend. They stayed together for another year, while I watched on, pining for him. When Chris started showing interest in me, I ate it up. He was good looking and always said the right things. Chris asked me to be his girlfriend, and I accepted. I couldn’t wait forever for Connor. It’s hard not to wonder if Connor and I had dated all those years ago what my life would be like now.
Connor finishes lacing his second skate and kneels in front of me, patting his leg. I place my foot on it and he starts lacing mine up.
I instantly have the warm-and-fuzzies. It's adorable the way he's taking care of me. When he finishes, he sets my foot on the floor, and offers me his arm again.
On Bambi legs, I stand and reach for Connor's stable presence. "Don't worry. This is going to be fun." The smile he gives me reaches his beautiful gray-blue eyes and I'm instantly comforted.
Connor guides me out on the ice.
I take my first tentative step on the slick surface and almost slip backward. Connor is behind me in an instant, grabbing my waist to steady me. My heartbeat picks up and not from nerves. It’s from having Connor's hands on me. I know he put them there for comfort, but I can't help but imagine what his capable hands would feel like all over my body.
I need to focus on skating. This is not the time to be distracted by my physical needs, but man, they are getting harder and harder to ignore. It's been at least six months since Chris and I had sex. And years since he has given me an orgasm. No wonder a simple touch from Connor sparks to life such intense desire within me.
We take a couple of slow laps together, with Connor holding me the entire time. Then, I tell him to take a couple of laps without me as I hold on to the rail and stare.
Watching Connor skate is so sexy. He pushes off and can move so fast across the ice and stop on a dime, sending a spray of snow up in the air as he brakes.
With Connor's help, he and I make it a few more laps around the rink without running into anyone or cracking my skull open. I'd say this evening has been a success.
"I think I’m all skated out," I tell Connor when we make our way toward the exit of the rink. "Would you be up for hot cocoa?"
"Sounds good to me.” Connor smiles and helps me off the ice.
We remove our skates and return them, then make our way back down Main Street toward the café.
Once inside, we’re greeted with the smell of coffee and cinnamon. The place is decked out in red and green LED lights and large silver balls are hanging from the ceiling.
We place our order, two hot cocoas with whipped cream, and a beaver tail to share. The café is known for its delicious sweet fried dough, covered in butter and cinnamon.
When our order is ready, we pick it up and take it to a small open table.
"Thank you for helping me. It would suck to celebrate Christmas with a broken arm or sprained ankle," I say, mocking myself.
Connor laughs, tilting his head back. The sound is adorable. It reminds me of hanging out with him in this very café back in high school. "You did great. I wasn't going to let you fall."
"I know. You still have it."
He raises his eyebrows at my compliment. "Thanks. What are your plans this weekend?"
I finish my bite of buttery, gooey goodness and lick my lips. I don't miss the way Connor stares at my mouth. "I have a few appointments tomorrow to look at apartments. My parents are great, but I don't want to wear out my welcome."
Connor has a sip of his hot cocoa and when he sets it down, there’s whipped cream on his top lip. What would he do if I leaned in and licked it off? An ache forms low in my belly.
He takes his napkin and wipes his face, then he grins at me. Did he catch me staring at his mouth? How embarrassing. "Want some company when you go look at apartments? I can check the pipes and look things over for you."
You could check my pipes if you wanted to. My God, I’m insufferable. I mentally shake myself. I need to get a grip. "Sure. I'd like that." Not only because I like the fact that he'd be looking over the apartment to make sure it's in good condition, but also because it's another excuse to spend time with him. The longer I'm with him, the more I remember the way he always used to make me feel. Like I am a good person, beautiful, cared for, and listened to. Like I’m the old me. It doesn't hurt that I'm wildly attracted to him either.
Could this become something? I know it’s soon and I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I’d be willing to try. Connor is the type of man I’ve always dreamed of having in my life. Despite all the disappointment I’ve endured over the past ten years, I think I’m ready to give into my heart and see where it leads me.
Eleven
Connor
"I'm not sure about this place either," I whisper in Ellis’s ear so the property manager doesn't hear me. The smell of Ellis’s violet and orange blossom perfume hits my nose and drives me wild.
She looks so good today in a black formfitting sweater, jeans, and knee-high boots, with her hair swept up into a high ponytail. I’m having a hard time focusing. But I told her I would join her today for a reason. Not only to spend time with her, but I want to be sure she finds a safe apartment before she signs the lease.
"You don't like this one either?"
We’re standing in the bedroom. I grab her hand and love the way her smooth skin feels in mine. I wave her hand around the edges of the window. "Do you feel that?"
"Cold air." She wrinkles her nose.
I nod and with some hesitance let her hand go. "Yeah. None of your windows should let in a draft. Your heat bills will be sky high. And when I tried to open the window in the kitchen, it was painted shut. The thing wouldn't budge. All of your windows should work properly."
"Okay, let's tell the property manager and move on to the next appointment."
We find the property manager in the kitchen and let him know we'll be passing on this apartment.
He doesn't look too pleased, but it doesn't matter to me. I'm looking out for Ellis, she’s what matters to me.
We get in my car and I drive her to the next place. It's a duplex in a nice neighborhood in town. We’re both hopeful about this place. The first apartment had cracks around windows, meaning water was leaking around them, and there weren’t any smoke detectors. The second was no better with its drafty windows, and I didn’t like the neighborhood either. This will be the third place we're looking at today. It's insane to me how deeply rooted my protective feelings are for Ellis. It's like I'm a caveman protecting my woman, and she isn't even my girlfriend, but I can't help it.
Pulling up in front of the duplex, I'm already impressed with the exterior. New siding, a solid-looking roof, and the porch also looks to be new, with pressure-treated wood and handrails.
"I already like this place," Ellis says excitedly.
"Let's go inside and check it out." I put the car in park, get out and rush to Ellis's side to open the door for her. Helping her out, I give her my arm and we head to the porch. That seems to be the way we go everywhere, and I love it. I always offer her my arm under the guise of steadying her to be sure she doesn't slip
on the snow or ice. She accepts it every time, which feels like heaven.
The owner of the duplex meets us on the porch and invites us inside.
Upon initial inspection the place looks and smells clean. The hardwood floor is older, but has been refinished. The paint isn't chipped and there's a nice amount of space. It's also furnished. The couch and loveseat match and are in good condition. There's also a TV mounted on the wall.
The owner encourages us to have a look around, so Ellis and I head into the kitchen. She walks over to the window and feels around the edges, then she opens and closes it. "It's in proper working order and there's no draft." There's a gleam in her eyes and excitement written all over her face.
"That's a good sign." I check out the oven, sink, refrigerator, and cabinets. "Everything in here looks to be in working order."
"Good. I love to cook."
Damn, I would love to try her cooking. Liz hated to cook. Every night when I got home from work, I would have to make something or buy takeout. She never wanted to have anything to do with the kitchen.
"Let's go upstairs," I suggest.
Ellis follows me. There's a full bathroom, a utility closet, and a bedroom up here.
"No bed?" Ellis says, looking around the bedroom.
There's a closet, a nightstand, and a dresser, but oddly, no bed. "Did the ad mention that?"
"I can't remember. I've looked at so many. I love it, though, and I can see myself here, putting down roots. What do you think?"
"It's great. Let's go talk to the owner," I say.
Going downstairs, we find the owner waiting in the living room.
"There's no bed in the bedroom, and I don't remember how much the rent is." Ellis looks at the owner.
The woman smiles and tells us all about the rental. The first month’s rent and security deposit is due upon signing the lease. It's a yearlong lease and if Ellis decides she wants the place, she will have to buy her own bed.
"What do you think?" Ellis asks me.
I glance into the kitchen and can see us making dinner together. When I look at the couch, it's Ellis and me, sitting close, eating a bowl of popcorn and watching a movie. It's as clear as day. The two-hour drive makes no difference. "You should take it."
"When can I move in?" Ellis asks.
"You could move in tomorrow if you want to." The owner looks excited at the prospect of a new tenant.
"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.” Ellis looks up at me with a huge smile on her face. "I think I'd love to move in tomorrow."
"Great. I can meet you here in the morning with the lease and the keys."
Ellis looks around the room, drumming her foot on the floor. She grabs on to my arm. "I’ll take it,” she says, looking at her new landlord, then her attention is on me. “I'm starving. For all of your help today, I owe you dinner. Are you in?"
"Dinner sounds perfect."
Anything with Ellis sounds perfect.
Twelve
Minnie
Happiness spreads through me as I sit over my steaming bowl of Tom Yum soup at the local Thai restaurant, with Connor as my date. He helped me so much today. I'm sure I would've chosen the wrong apartment if he wasn't with me.
He offers me a bite of his spring roll, which I graciously take. It's full of the bright flavors of crispy veggies. "Mmm." I let out a soft, moaning sound.
A sexy, slow smile builds on Connor's face as he brings the spring roll slowly back toward his mouth and takes a bite. I watch his every movement. We're in the middle of another staring contest and neither one of us wants to look away. He is so good-looking and as the time goes on, the tension keeps building between us. It hangs heavy in the air as I continue gazing into his gray-blue eyes.
Lifting my drink, I bring it to my lips to have a sip of the cool, dry Riesling. I need to do something to break the spell. "Thank you so much for today. I love my new place." From the second I walked in, it felt like home. It wasn’t like that in any of the other places I looked at. I can’t wait to start making memories there. It might be presumptuous, but I’d like to make them with Connor. I don’t know what that would look like, but I’m willing to try.
"I like it, too. It's a solid place. Safe, clean, and well-maintained. I can't believe you can move in tomorrow."
"Me neither. I'm excited. I just need to find a bed." I don’t know why that statement makes my cheeks heat up, but it does. Maybe because I've been thinking about Connor and me in bed together almost nonstop since the first time I laid eyes on him at the wine bar.
Connor wipes the corners of his mouth with his napkin and sets it back on his lap. "I can help."
"That's okay. I feel bad taking up all of your time right before Christmas." I'm sure his parents would love to see him while he's home. I hate turning down his offer though, because I really enjoy spending time with him. He’s making being back in Bluff Harbor so much better than I thought it could be.
"It's okay. I want to help. It's been great spending time with you." He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.
The look in his eyes is warm and his hand in mine has my heart beating faster. I wonder if he knows what this is doing to me. "I agree. You’re a great guy, Connor."
His smile is so wide it lights up the whole restaurant. When the waitress brings our main course, Connor lets go of my hand. I wish the waitress would take a hike; can’t she see we are in the middle of a moment? She sets down the lemongrass stir-fry in front of me and Pad Thai in front of Connor.
He lifts his chopsticks and swirls them around in his noodles. Before he has a bite, he pauses. "I hope you don't mind me asking, and if it's too personal, you don't have to answer, but I've been curious about your divorce."
I chew a piece of chicken and give myself a moment to focus. It's not that I don't want to share the details of Chris and me with Connor, but I am a little taken aback that he's asking. "I'm sure there have been rumors going around."
"I don't live here, so I haven't heard anything. I was very surprised to see you alone, without a wedding ring at the wine bar when I first got back."
That makes sense. "Chris wasn't a good guy. He cheated on me. More than once. And he was very manipulative. Telling me what clothes to wear, who to hang out with."
Connor shakes his head and his nostrils flare. "What an asshole. I can't believe…"
"That I let him treat me like that," I finish his sentence.
"No, not that. I can’t believe that he was such a piece of garbage and treated you that way."
"He was. I’m not sure why I stayed as long as I did. It’s probably because he wore me down. It was easier to comply than to fight." My shoulders sag and I set my chopsticks down, appetite lost.
"Damn. I'm so sorry that I brought it up. It's been eating at me, but I shouldn't have mentioned it over dinner. I wasn’t thinking." There's so much concern and empathy in his eyes it nearly breaks me.
"It's okay. None of this is your fault. I was the one who stupidly married him and I was the one who stayed. I could've gotten up and left any day." I do my best not to berate myself day in and day out for wasting so much time on him. I was so close to his mom, Judy. She was always there for me, even though she never knew the extent of how bad things were. I’m going to miss her, but not Chris. "The point is, I'm here now."
"I'm really glad you are. I know a thing or two about staying in a relationship too long. I was with my ex for six years."
I take a sip of my wine. "What happened, if you don't mind sharing?"
He shakes his head and sighs. "Of course not. You just spilled your guts to me. I'm the reason Liz left. She wanted me to propose, but I simply couldn't do it. It never felt quite right. It was good, but it was never great." His eyes lose focus as he stares down at his plate.
"How did it make you feel when she left?" I ask, curious to know where his heart is at.
His gaze finds mine again. "It hurt, at first. But then I realized it was for the best. I coul
dn't give her what she deserved. You can't create something that just isn't there."
I know what he means. You can spend so much time trying to make something into what you want it to be, it's disappointing when it isn't. "I get it. How have you been feeling now?"
"Better. Being with you has really cheered me up. I've always loved spending time with you, Ellis. You know something?” He gets a cute grin on his face. “I regret not asking you out in high school."
My eyebrows shoot up. We used to spend time together, but I never realized he had those types of feelings for me back then. "Oh, really?"
"Yeah. That jerk Chris asked you out first."
"I think we can both agree that I was young and stupid. At least we have now," I say and pop a piece of broccoli in my mouth.
"Right. At least we have now."
We enjoy the rest of our meal and keep the conversation light. We reminisce about old high school teachers and friends and chat about our current careers.
When we finish eating, I pay our bill and we leave the restaurant hand in hand.
Connor drives me home. But I don't want the night to end.
"Thank you so much for today, it was perfect." I've only been home for about a month and Connor has been here for just over a week, but I already feel the change in me. It's as if I'm finally getting my spark back.
Connor puts the car in park and turns to face me, his hand coming up to my hair. He takes one of the curls and slips it through his fingertips. Electricity makes its way through my entire body. "Thank you for opening up to me tonight. It means a lot that you trust me with that part of you." His voice is smooth and silky.
Drawn to him, I lean in closer and nod. "I do trust you." My voice is shaky as the sizzle between us grows thicker.
"Good." He drags his knuckles across my chin. The movement is slow and deliberate and has my senses on full alert.
