by Emma
dog, from a nice working background' (I emphasized the
Word 'nice'), 'then it would be easy for me and I'd learn a lot
more.' Before he could say no, i picked up the advert I'd seen
in my Dog Trainiiig Week~y magazine. It was for black
Labradors. The sire, jasper Boy of Kenstafr, had won one
Obedience Challenge Certificate, the highest feat a dog can
aim for in the obedience world. And what's more, the
ancestors on his side had come from the Guide-Dogs for the
Blind Association. 'Sandilands Timber' had been one of
their most famous stud dogs and had sired many, many
guide-dogs. On the mother's side it was all field trial
champions. If I'd have tried to make a pedigree up in my
mind of what i really wanted from a Labrador, i couldn't
have done better. The speed and working background of the
field trial dogs plus the easy nature and kindness of a guidedog
line were absolutely perfect. Don looked at it and he had
to admit that the pedigree was beautiful.
'Liverpool,' he said. 'It's a long way.'
'Betty said she'd take me.' i was beginning to get excited.
'Oh, you've asked her, have you?'
'Just in case.'
'Have you rung up about them?'
'Yes,' i admitted.
'And have they got what you want?'
'There's a litter of eight puppies with three bitches in so
I'd have my choice if i could go tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow!' For a moment Don was astounded, and then
remembering my temperament - if i ever wanted something
i wanted it yesterday - he put the paper back down on the
table. 'All right then.'
'Thank you, petal. i know we're doing the right thing.' I
put my arms round him and kissed him ... always a fatal
mistake when the dogs are around. Teak was in first, trying
to climb on to his knee. Mocha was bringing up the rear with
Bracken, all trying to get in on the act and the excitement.
Buttons was lying in the corner crying softly. That was her
way of expressing that she, too, wanted some of the
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attention. Emma was fast asleep on the settee, oblivious to
what i was planning. i rang Betty immediately, and
arranged that we should set out for Liverpool at nine o'clock
the following morning. i could hardly sleep for excitement.
This was just what i had always wanted, i told myself. i
knew the puppy would be black and i suppose if I'd have had
my choice it would have been another chocolate one, but you
couldn't have everything. As it was such a long journey, i
decided to leave Kerensa at home, thinking she'd get bored.
'Where are you going?' she asked me.
'I'm going to fetch another puppy.'
'Another Emma.'
'Not quite,' i said. 'This one's going to be black.'
'Oh, Mummy, can i have a puppy all of my own?'
Kerensa was only three at the time and she dearly loved the
dogs and cats, but a puppy of her own, well that was a
different matter. i let her share the dogs and cats as much as
possible but i feel very strongly about children who are seen
pulling dogs and cats about. It's so unfair on the animals.
'When you get older,' i promised her, 'you'll have your
own puppy.'
'But i want one now.' She began to cry. 'Please bring one
back for me as well.'
'I'm sorry, Kerensa. i just can't do that.'
'But i want something of my own. You've got lots of dogs
and cats and Daddy has. It's not fair.'
Kerensa so loved to participate with the dogs and come
out with me when i was walking them, and when i let her
hold Mocha on the lead she was so thrilled. But on reaching
the park, Mocha's lead had to be clipped on to Kerensa's
dress and i had to pretend that she was a dog and walk her
round the park on a lead. That was fine, but i don't know
what onlookers thought about my taking a child round the
park on a lead while the dogs were running free enjoying
themselves. It's a wonder I've never been reported to the
NSPCC. i picked up Kerensa's stuffed Siamese cat and gave
it to her. 'There you are, that's your cat.'
'No, it's not real.' She got hold of it and flung it to the floor.
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'Well, you can't have animals if you're going to treat
them like that.'
'But i wouldn't. That's not a real one.' She stood thinking
for a moment. 'Could i have a rabbit then"
A rabbit. That was a new one. She had a toy one
upstairs which she was very fond of and took to bed with
her every night. 'Well, i might think about that,' i told
her. 'I'll let you know when i come back.'
She began to jump up and down with excitement. 'A
real rabbit, Mummy! Promise! Can i have a real rabbit
like Hazel?' (That's what she called her toy rabbit.) i
realized i had to make a decision there and then. Children
just can't wait.
'All right, I'll buy you a real rabbit if you'll look after it
yourself and clean it and feed it and brush it.'
'I will, i will!' She was overjoyed and flung her arms
round me and kissed me, as i had done the night before
with Don when he told me i could have a puppy. i kissed
her goodbye and went offinto the car.
i loved going out with Betty driving the car. She's got
such a super temperament behind the wheel. She never
gets harassed or worried about time and if we get lost - as
we often do - we both sit and have a laugh about it before
going on our way again. i talked non-stop all the way to
Liverpool about my new puppy and how clever she was
going to be. It was even more exciting because, apart from
Bracken, this was the first puppy i was actually going to
choose from a litter, and we didn't really choose Bracken:
he was the only chocolate and we didn't have any alternative.
So this was my very first choice of a whole litter. i
could pick which one i really wanted. i told myself i
would be very careful and look at each puppy individually,
then watch the litter as a whole before i made my
final decision.
Mrs Ward was delighted to see us and she was delighted
that one of her puppies would go to be trained for
obedience classes, as the father had done so well and mum
wasn't doing too badly in the obedience ring either.
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'I wasn't sure you'd come when you told me you lived in
Nottingham,' she said, as she showed me in. 'Such a lot of
people ring up, you know, and don't turn up. I'm sure you'll
like the puppies. They're in here, in the kitchen.' She led
Betty and me through to a huge farmhouse-type kitchen at the
back of the house. 'When people are buying them to train
them like you are, i feel happy that they're going to really
good homes. i know they're going to be looked after. Here
they are.'
There was a big white wooden bed standing in the corner,
covered in black puppies. One of them rushed out of the bed,
over to me and sat at my feet looking up at me with longing
eyes. i picked her up and, as i did so,
I noticed the white
patch on her chest, exactly the same shape as Emma's. i
hugged her to me and she washed my chin. 'This is the one,'
i said. 'This is the one i want.'
'You haven't looked at them,' Mrs Ward said. 'There's
another seven there.'
'No, this is mine. i don't want to look at the others. I'm
going to call her Shadow.'
'Oh, please,' Mrs Ward said. 'I shall be very upset if you
don't look at all the puppies before you make your decision.
You might have the wrong one there.'
i knew in my heart that this was the dog for me. It clicked
the moment i picked her up and the fact that she had a white
patch like Emma had obviously got a lot to do with it. But, to
satisfy the breeder, i gave her to Betty to hold while i picked
each of the other puppies up in turn, but nothing happened
with them. Shadow was the one for me. Margaret Evans, the
owner ofjasper Boy of Kenstaff, had come along to show me
the father and how he worked. He was superb: she showed
me his speedy heel work and his wonderful distance control.
He had made it to the big ring at Crufts and i wondered if
one day Shadow and i would too.
On our journey, Betty had remembered that she had a
friend who bred rabbits and felt sure she'd got a litter at the
moment. 'I'll take you over on Sunday if you like,' she said,
'and Kerensa can choose one.'
87
i
'If we're going to have one, i think we ought to have two the
same sex, of course. We don't want lots of little rabbits
about the place, do we?' i have always had this thing about
animals living alone. To me it's like a human living all alone
and never being able to meet others of his own kind. It seems
very cruel. If we were going to have a rabbit, we had to have
a pair of them so they'd be company for each other. On
reaching home, Kerensa was delighted not only with the new
pup but also with the promise that we'd be going to fetch two
rabbits the following Sunday.
Shadow seemed to fit into our household like the last piece
of a jigsaw puzzle and i was thrilled when she turned out to
be just as her name implied, my shadow. She was always
there, just like Emma was. But there was a lot of time and
hard work in front of me before Shadow would begin to win
at her obedience shows.
Six dogs in the house meant a very strict daily routine.
Kerensa was now at school in the mornings so that my first
job was to get her ready and ofl'to school. Then the cats had
to be fed and cleaned and the dogs had to be exercised. I t was
impossible to take five dogs out at the same time (Emma now
had just a small walk a day, if she fancied it, so she went
completely separately from the other dogs), and i decided
that two and three were easiest to handle. My first walk
always begins at half-past nine. i come home for a tea-break
and then the second walk begins. When i arrive home again
it's time to cook the lunch. There's never a moment free in
the day. After lunch i have to answer lots of letters, groom
and train the dogs, and then comes feeding time. And
evenings are often taken up with Dog Training Clubs. Oh,
and of course, i forgot the writing bit. I love writing but i
have to try and fit it in between all the other things - usually
in the evening when Kerensa has gone to bed. i have bits of
manuscript strewn all over the place and can never find
them. How i ever manage to do anything amazes me. Being
a writer is not like i imagined it would be. i have this picture
in my mind of a man sitting in a lonely cottage on a hillside
with total peace and quiet, poring over a typewriter. It
88
doesn't work like that for women as there's so much else to
do, apart from running the home. And now we had two
rabbits to add to the menagerie. Kerensa had chosen a
brown one, which she called Hazel, and a white one she
named Snowdrop. She was very proud of them and most
mornings she was up before Don and i awoke and would be
sitting out in the rabbit pen cuddling them and talking to
them. I'm not a very nice person in the mornings. It takes
me ages to wake up, so when Kerensa comes into my side of
the bed and starts to try and wake me, i usually turn the
other way, close my eyes even tighter and pretend i haven't
heard her. One morning she came into our room. 'Mummy,
Mummy, look what I've got.'
i groaned and half opened one eye. One of her hands was
clutched round something and i noticed on my bedside
table lots of little things, black and round. She picked one
up and popped it in her mouth. i closed my eyes again
hoping to drift back into sleep and then something started
to nudge my mind. What was Kerensa eating? What were
those little black round things? I'd seen them somewhere
before.
'They're delicious, Mummy.' She poked me again. 'Try
one.' She was holding one out to me. i suddenly
remembered - I'd seen them in the rabbit run. They were
rabbit turds. i shot up in bed. 'Good heavens! Look what
Kerensa's eating.' i shook Don immediately. 'Put them
down, you silly girl. You'll get all sorts of diseases.'
'But they're lovely, Mummy. i picked them ofl the bush.
Won't you try one?'
As i woke up a little more i realized she'd got a handful
of blackcurrants! Don had begun to laugh.
'Oh dear, petal, do you really think she'd do that?'
'Well, you never know,' i said dubiously. Don continued
laughing. 'It isn't all that funny,' i said to him.
'No. It just reminded me of that Scottish shop we went to
on holiday. Don't you remember?' He laughed again. 'Your
sight is a funny thing. You can see so much, but not quite
enough.'
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i chuckled as i remembered the Scottish shop incident.
He was right in one way. My sight did get me into some very
narrow scrapes. I'd had to learn to interpret what i actually
saw and this was sometimes very difficult, though I'm sure
even a sighted person could confuse blackcurrants with
rabbit turds - well ... maybe they could. After years of being
blind I'd had to train my brain what to expect and i thought
I'd got rather good at it. We were on holiday in Scotland
and, looking round the town, Don had spotted a really
beautiful tartan shop.
'I wonder if they've got a Hocken kilt,' he said. 'Let's go
and have a look.' As the Hockens came from Cornwall and
not Scotland, i was sure they wouldn't have, but i, too, was
fascinated by the tartan and especially the velvetiackets that
were worn by the men. Don left me while he went to talk to
one of the assistants about the different names of the clans.
There were beautiful models standing about the shop
showing the full Scottish regalia and as i still love to go and
feel things - i don't get a full picture visually unless i can
touch - i went over and felt the sporrans an
d the kilts, and
ran my hand along the black velvet jackets. They were
beautiful. One in particular stood out as being really smart. i
looked back to see if i could see Don anywhere, and spotted
him coming across the shop.
'Come and have a look at this one, isn't it beautiful?' I
called. The white lace neck frilled over the black velvetjacket
and i stroked the chest lovingly. 'Oh Don, you'd look
beautiful in this.' Don looked rather agitated and a little red
in the face. 'What's the matter, petal?'
He nodded towards the model. i looked round and it had
disappeared. 'I was trying to tell you not to touch that one. It
wasn't a model, it was the manager.' i had never felt so
stupid before and both of us made a bee-line for the door.
go
CHAPTER TWELVE
SHADOW WAS ALL i had hoped for. She was perfect to
train, so easy and willing to do her work. At five months she
passed her ~est from the Beginners into the Intermediate
Class at the Training Club and i couldn't have been more
proud of her. She was totally different from the other
Labradors, not only in looks but in temperament. Of course
she was black, but otherwise she was everything a Labrador
shouldn't be for the show ring. Her coat was curly when it
should lie flat and thick along the i.abrador's back. Her tail
was long and feathered. Her legs were slender with little
dainty paws. Her face was long with fly-away, collie-type
cars. No, if i walked in a show ring with Shadow i was sure
they'd all laugh. But her temperament was very quietnatured
and loving. she was eager to be doing things. And
how wonderful our home was, enhanced by six dogs of
totally different characters.
Despite the fact that Emma was now a very old lady, she
ruled ovei. the five with a rod of iron, expecting each and
every one of them to stick by the moral standards she had set
during her lifetime. Although they would canter around and
knock each other over on our walks no one would ever dare
touch Emma. But i much preferred to take Emma alone so
that we could enjoy our steady walks together. On her good
days she would tell me that she fancied just a little walk
across the road and up Baulk Lane, where there is an
