by Emma
I'd always fed tripe because it was so cheap and the dogs
looked well on it. Feeding so many dogs is no small expense,
and i had searched around for the cheapest and most
nourishing dog food possible and I'd come up with tripe.
'Well, what was wrong with it"' i said, puzzled.
Betty, at that point, burst into hysterical laughter.
'What's the matter" Harold muttered again. "i'he smell,
that's what's the matter. It's revolting. I've never seen nor
smelt anything so foul in the whole of my life.'
It had never occurred to me that he wouldn't like the smell
or the look of the tripe i fed the dogs. Admittedly, it's not
very pleasant. It's not the nice, white tripe you buy from the
butcher's shop. It's green and mottled and, i must admit, it
does smell rather horrible. Indescribably horrible, in fact,
but I'm used to it now and it never bothers me. When you've
had cats and dogs and babies, nothing bothers you any
more. i am so used to smells and things that don't look very
nice - and the dogs really do love their tripe.
Betty, who was still trying to control her laughter, began
to explain. 'I sent him in to feed the dogs,' she said, 'while i
'3i
i
i
i
was just putting my feet up and having a cup of tea yesterday
afternoon. i told him what each dog wanted before he went in.
Well, he hadn't been there two minutes when i heard him
shouting and swearing and rushing out into the back yard. i
thought something terrible had happened, so I ran out.
"Harold, what's the matter," i said. Well, he was being sick
all over the back yard. i thought he was ill. Then he told me it
was the tripe. He couldn't face it. I'd have to do it. He ran
upstairs to the bathroom.'
'And what were the dogs doing all this time?' i said. I
know what the dogs are like when dinner's being put out. In
fact, i often think that if i happened to slip on the floor into a
dog bowl, they'd eat me by mistake.
'Well, they were getting a bit agitated,' Betty told me, 'so i
thought I'd better feed them. Didn't think it would worry
me,' she said, 'until i went into the dog room and picked the
tripe bucket up.'
'Then what happened?' i said.
'I ran into the back yard and was sick.'
'Oh dear, oh dear, poor Betty.'
'Well, that wouldn't have been so bad,' she went on, 'if
Harold hadn't decided he was going to clean it all up there
and then. The best thing, he said, was the hose. So he gets
your hose on the tap. "I'll hose the yard down," he says.
"They'll never know what happened." He turned the tap on
- full on, mind you,' Betty said, looking at Harold in disgust.
'Didn't put it on properly, did he? It shot ofrand soaked him
from head to foot and you had floods all over the kitchen. I'm
glad you didn't come back yesterday afternoon. The air was
blue with his language and green with that tripe.'
'Then what?' i asked Betty.
'Well, he retired, muttering, upstairs to the bathroom. i
didn't see him for another two hours. Said he was suffering
from shock. He left me to do it, didn't he?'
'What happened to the dogs then?' i said. 'You did feed
them, didn't you?'
'Oh, i managed it in the end,' Betty said. 'After I'd
recovered. You need to get used to that smell,' she said,
i32
twitching her nose. 'It takes you a long time before you can
accept it.'
'I wish you'd stop talking about it!' Harcild said, getting
his handkerchief out and mopping his brow, 'It's making me
want to heave again.' He clutched at the luunge door as if
ready to make a bolt for the bathroom.
'All right, Harold, all right. i promise i won't mention
tripe again,' i said.
, No, you better hadn't. Next time, if i corne and look after
your dogs, will you promise me you'll leave tinned food?'
i promised him faithfully that i would.
i33
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
i WAS HAVING to travel a filr distance to the nearest Dog
Training Club. Not that i minded that at all, but there was
a growing need locally for a club in or around Stapleford.
Every day in the park i ~k-as meeting dog owners with
problems, and i am one of those people "~lio can't help
getting involved, especially if it's dog problems. I'd spend
hours talking to people, trying to help them with their dogs.
The main trouble with most iiew puppy owners was that the
puppy wouldn't come back. A lot of tliis, i am afraid, is
actually caused by the owner. When i have a new puppy, the
very first thing i do is to take her out to a field or the park and
let her off the lead. Of course, i am lucky enough to have
other dogs that are older and trained and i know they'll
come back to me and a new puppx, will follow suit.
But a small puppy, especially a Labrador - i can't really
speak with great authority on other breeds - will usually
cling to the person she knows. i carry tit-bits, usually dog
chocolate drops, and keep calling my puppy back to me, then
i give a chocolate drop, make a fuss, and oftshe goes to play
again. She has therefore, started right at the beginning
knowing that there's a time to be offthe lead and to~liay (and
she'll get plenty of time for this) so she won't wor bout it.
Often, people cause problems by not letting their puppies off
the lead because they are afraid that they'll run away.
Consequently, when they pluck up enough courage to let the
dog oilthe lead, he does run away. Think of it from the dog's
point of view ... freedom at last! He doesn't want to go back
home to be shut in and to have his little garden space. He
loves the freedom of the park or the fields and you can't
blame him. A dog that's exercised regularly every day and
given free run and allowed to play with other dogs is quite
i34
happy to come back to his owner and go home, and look
forward to the next outing.
As i say, i cannot speak with authority about other
breeds. Labradors are very people minded and it's extremely
rare that a Labrador puppy will run away. But if you are
really worried about your puppy and daren't let him off, then
take a long, fine rope or nylon cord and take his lead off, put
the nylon cord on, give him as much space as you possibly
can. You must keep calling him in and making a fuss and
giving him tit-bits, and then letting him go and play again.
This is the way, of course, to train your puppy, right from the
very beginning. i surely don't need to add that wherever you
let your puppy ofl', it must be safe and well away from the
main road.
Eventually, i was brought to the decision that a local Dog
Training Club wasjust what we needed, so i began to look for
a room. That took me a long time as there weren't many
church or Scout halls available which would accept a night
for dog training. But after months of searchi
ng i was lucky to
find a room at the local pub where Don partakes of his
beverage (his words, not mine). Having secured the room i
then wanted a trainer, but i was soon to discover that not
many people were keen on taking a beginners' class and
accepting the responsibility of having to be there every week
at a certain time. So it looked as if it was going to be me. i
wasn't very keen on the idea because i didn't feel that i had
enough experience, but i supposed i was better than
nothing. At least i could set them on the right lines and give
them guidance on how to train their dogs. Tracey offered to
come and help me and bring her Yorkshire terrier, jeannic,
so that we would have a small toy dog to demonstrate
various exercises on. Training a Labrador and a Yorkshire
terrier are totally different things.
My first night was very crowded. Lots of different people
came with their different breeds of dog - from a great i)ane to
a toy poodle. i decided that i would show my pupils, first
and foremost, what a well-trained dog should look like and
what they were aiming for. Luckily, Traccy had done a bit of
i35
training with jeannie so i asked her if she would demonstrate.
icannic loves doing retrieves, recalls and stays, but
heel work is a difrerent matter. Everything went fine up to
the heel work exercise and i asked Traccy if she would mind
showing our pupils that a Yorkshire terrier is quite capable
of walking to heel offthe lead. I'm not sure whether Tracey
knew what was going to happen because she seemed a bit
reluctant but, after a little persuasion, she agreed. She took
the lead off jeannic and gave her the command. Tracey
walked confidently down the hall. jeannic, on the other
hand, turned tail and dived on the nearest person's lap,
proving to all and sundry that Yorkshire terriers are
definitely lap dogs. I, along with everyone else, burst my
sides laughing and followed with a lecture on training dogs
for heel work.
That evening I'd taken Teak, our German shorthaired
pointer, with me, . . . a very unfortunate decision.
' i will now show you,' i told them, 'how a dog should do
heel work ofr the lead.' Confidently, i marched into the
middle of the hall, sat Teak at my heel, took her lead off and
gave her the command. i, too, marched confidently down
the hall. For a few yards Teak marched with me and,
suddenly realizing that she was off the lead, turned tail and
dived for the nearest lap. i didn't laugh that time but i
noticed Traccy was having hysterics. Having called my class
to order, i decided to get down to the business of showing
everyone the basics. i soon discovered how different people
and their dogs were. There's that old saying that people
grow to look like their dogs - or is it the other way round?
Yes, some of them did, but others were total opposites and i
could tell, after a moment's training, that an owner had
picked the wrong breed of dog. But how do you tell them that
their beloved pooch definitely is not for them? You don't.
You try to make the best of a bad match. i tried not so much
to run it as general training clubs seem to run their nights taking
each exercise: heel work, stays, recalls, etc. - but to
find out what problems most people had and to take each
dog and owner individually. It was at this point i realized
i36
that not only did i need experience, but danger money as
well.
'I can't get my dog to lie down,' a young girl with a large
cross-bred German shepherd told me. 'I've tried all the ways
it tells you in the book but he won't do it.'
i took hold of her dog's lead and walked him to a space.
'It's quite easy,' i told her. 'First of all, get him into a sit.'
Her dog sat down quite easily. 'Take one of his front paws,
use a little pressure on his shoulder and he's down.' lt,.vas as
easy as that.
'Oh, I've tried that,' she said, 'but he always bites me.'
i handed the lead back with alacrity. But, of course, dogs
usually only protest, growl or bite their owners when they
have no respect for them, when owners spoil them and don't
make them do as they're told from being young puppies. It's
amazing how often you find that stroppy dogs have stroppy
owners, and we had our fair share of them, particularly
'Woollyjumper'.
This was the nickname given to him by Traccy the
moment he stepped in our hall. He had, of course, a woolly
jumper on, probably knitted before the First World War. It
was massive. It went up to encase his chin and his cars, and
reached about half-way down his trouser legs. The sleeves,
too, were miles too long and It was an indescribable colour,
somewhere between green and grey. There wasn't a lot left of
it. Most of it was holes. His hair reminded me of one of those
old string mops. It hung down lifelessly into his eyes, around
his ears and rested limply on top of his woollyjumper. i think
his trousers would be best described as Oxford bags. All in
all, he looked a complete down and out and i was just about
to throw him out as an unwelcome tramp, when i noticed he
had a German shepherd with him. The shepherd launched
itself like a wild tiger into the middle of the room, giving
banshee howls.
'Major, be quiet!' "'oolly jumper cried. 'Now, that'll do.
Now stop it, Major.' Major showed no inclination to stop.
Every dog in the room tried to squeeze itself under a chair,
while the owners flattened themselves to the wall in terror. i
i37
guided Woolly jumper to the emptiest part of the hall, told
hliii to sit down and try to keep his dog under reasonable
control and, if possible, to mute it.
'Oh, don't worry " he told me, 'he's already trained. I've
only come to get a bit more training in, being as i livejust up
the road. I've been going to another dog club for two years.
He's passed his adx,anced test there.'
i hesitated to think of the standard the other dog club kept.
Somehow, Traccy and i managed to fight our way through
that first evening unscathed, despite Major and Woolly
jumper, who insisted on doing an ollthe lead recall, although
i tried very hard to dissuade him.
'I can assure you he will come to me,' he said with great
confidence as he took his dog off the lead and gave him a
command to wait that almost shook the foundations of the
pub. He marched up to the other end of the room, turned and
called his dog in. I've got to admit that Major did go to him,
but it was the banshee screams, howls and barks on the way
that frightened everybody to death.
'The other dog club you go to, have they not given you any
advice about this noise on recalls?'
'Oh, he always does that. It'sjust him. In fact, my otherdog
does it as well,' he said proudly.
The thought of him bringing two German shepherds the
week af
ter was horrific. 'Do you still train the other dog?' i
hastened to ask.
'Oh, no. He's in the car. He's fully trained now.'
At closing time, Woolly jumper was forcibly dragged
through the doorand to his car by Major. There was a terrible
howling, growling and kerfuffle going on outside and Tracey
and i, along with the other trainees, went to the door to see
what was happening. There was Woolly jumper standing
with his car door half open, Major behind him snarling and
the German shepherd in the car doing the same.
'Get back, you brute! Get back! Now let me in.' The
German shepherd in the car had no intention ofletting him in.
'What's he going to do now?' i asked Traccy.
'Well, if that was me I'd close the car door and go.'
i38
Nle all stood xs~atching in fascination as Woolly jumper
tried to push the German shepherd back'nto the car. It leapt
from front to back seat, baring its teetti and snapping ex,erv
time he put his hand in.
'No", you kiio~, where all the holes in that j'umper came
from,' Tracex- giggled.
Eventuall,,., Admiral, as the Gerniaii shepherd in the car
was called, was persuaded to let M'ooll-~7 jumper in. He took
Major by the scruff of the neck, opened the door and threw
him in. There was a terrible fight on the back scat of the car
where the two shepherds were locked in combat. Woolly
jumper seized his opportunity,, slammed the back door,
rushed round to the driving scat and was off before any of us
realized what had happened.
Each week i armed myselfwith things in case of a disasterdisasters
being accidents by dogs. i was determined that our
hall and the surrounding car park should be left as clean as it
was when we found it. So each week i would walk into my
train i rig club with buckets, scrubb i iig brushes, plastic bags
and bottles of disinfectant. We never actually did have a dog
accident; that is, not until Deirdre came with Ben. Deirdre is
very small and petite and i had felt sure when they took
Ben as a puppy that he wouldn't grow all that big as Bracken
was a little undersized for a Labrador and Buttons by no
