by Jackie Ivie
He shook his head.
“You don’t look like the kind of guy who’d go psycho and get booted out of the service.”
“I’m not.”
“I give. Tell me. Why aren’t you a SEAL any longer? You’re fit. Young. Extremely capable. And you’re...um. Really skilled.”
She actually got the words out without stammering. That was a surprise. He took a deep breath. It expanded his t-shirt. LeeAnn’s gaze dropped to his chest. She sucked on her bottom lip. She couldn’t tell his expression due to the stupid dark lenses, but she definitely heard his groan.
“You need to stop that,” he informed her.
“Stop what?” LeeAnn gave him her best innocent look before tipping her head down and adjusting the terrycloth covering her lap. She picked at an imaginary speck as she waited.
“This is not working, either.”
“You really know how to beat around a bush, Kane. You know that? Your parents must have pulled their hair out trying to pin down where you’d been when you came home after curfew.”
“Did you ever study names?” he asked.
“What?” LeeAnn’s head came back up. He looked serious.
“Your birth name. LeeAnn. Do you know what it means?”
She gave him her ‘CPA-listening-to-a-lie-from-a-client’ smile before replying. “Yes. It means my grand-mother was named LeeAnn. As was her mother before her.”
“Lee means ‘dweller by the wood’.”
“I’ll take your word for it. But how do you know?”
“I’ve had...a lot of time. I met someone named Lee. He has a few strange quirks. I wondered why, so I did some checking. Grew interested. Wondered if a name had any significance. And consequence.”
“You have a bookish side? That’s—um. Wow. I’m almost speechless here.”
He pulled his head back a little. “Are you making fun of me?”
“Oh. Never,” she replied.
“I think the name Ann means ‘graceful.’ Or perhaps it would be better phrased as ‘full of grace’.”
“So, my name means I’m a graceful being from the woods. I sound like a fairy. Nice. But not remotely accurate. Look, Kane. You and I are opposites. I’m the indoors-type. Basic hermit version. I’ve been called a workaholic. And when I’m not working, I’m usually reading. I have a hard time even getting to the gym. That is the farthest thing from a fairy I can imagine.”
He sighed heavily. “Can you guess what my name means?”
“Sure. I’ll take a stab at it. If it’s spelled with a ‘C’, I’m going to say you were named after the Biblical bad boy, Cain. The slayer of Abel. That Cain. You’re not going to tell me you’re a descendant, are you? Because I’m not the religious type. I quit going to church in my teens.”
“That’s the Hebrew origin. It actually means ‘spear’.”
“Spear. Okay.”
“But my name is spelled with a ‘K’.”
“And that means something different, right?”
“Kane is an Irish name. Celtic. It means ‘fighter’.”
“Good name. I don’t know where we’re going with this, but the name definitely fits. Your parents are to be applauded.”
“This is not working, either.”
“Perhaps you could just give me straight answers?”
“I’m trying, but it’s not easy! I told you. This is new territory for me. I’ve been called cold. Curt. Emotionless. Heartless. Mean. I can go on.”
“No? Really?”
“But I’ve never loved anyone before. I didn’t know anything about love. Or how it felt.”
Her heart stuttered. Swelled. She didn’t know what to reply. Or how.
“I keep thinking of some way to soften this. So you...won’t turn from me.”
Oh.
She knew how to reply to that.
“Turn from you? Look. Mister. I’m not that faint-hearted. Try just spitting it out. But before you do, I have a confession to make. I’m already...yeah. Let’s just say I’m not immune to you, either.”
“You aren’t?”
“It can’t be that big of a surprise. You are extremely easy to fall for. Especially once you dropped the heartless, mean, cold, etcetera veneer.”
“Oh. LeeAnn. Love. This is not making it easier.”
He had a definite frown now. It sent a line across his forehead.
“Anything I can do to help?”
He lowered his chin. She wasn’t certain, but he looked like he was regarding his hands atop his thighs. And that just drew her attention there again. He looked back over at her. She wasn’t prepared. He caught her ogling. And that just heightened his color again.
“Do you know where you are?” he finally asked.
“Um. With you?”
“Lee. Ann.”
He separated her name like he had before. Probably trying to sound stern again.
“Okay. Yes. As a matter-of-fact, I do. You gave me coordinates. Remember? I am on a boat in the Atlantic Ocean somewhere around the north twenty-fourth parallel. Something like that.”
“It’s not a boat. It’s a ship.”
“Oh, brother. Fine. I’m on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean somewhere around the north twenty-fourth parallel. You are such a stickler for mariner terms. Must be the SEAL thing.”
He slid to the edge of his seat, closing in on the available space and sucking up more than his share of oxygen. It was hard to get a breath. He instantly looked alert. Intense. The hairs on the back of LeeAnn’s neck lifted.
“This ship is named Abaddon.”
“Okay. Interesting name.”
“Do you know what it means?”
“I think we’ve already proved I don’t know the meaning behind names. So...no. I don’t.”
“It means...purgatory.”
LeeAnn blinked several times. He looked serious as all get-out. While saying something preposterous. She regarded him for several long moments. “Is that supposed to be funny, Kane? Because...I have to tell you. It’s not.”
Kane leaned even closer in response. And then he pulled his sunglasses off.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The light was excruciatingly bright. At first.
Kane refrained from narrowing his eyes and just accepted the discomfort. LeeAnn had asked about light-sensitivity issues. What he suffered was much worse. It was a mark. And curse. All of them carried it. His eyes were full black, as if the pupils had been medically enlarged and couldn’t contract. It was a dull black shade. Light didn’t reflect. They appeared bottomless. Empty. Nothing behind them. He knew. He’d studied his reflection often enough over the years.
He thought he’d kept the affliction hidden from her because most light sources were painful. Now, he knew the reason. He loved her. The more that feeling had grown, the longer he’d held back. He hadn’t shown her, because he was terrified of her reaction. Literally terrified. His knees shook for the barest instant. His gut churned. The blood in his veins froze. Kane had experienced fear. Every soldier in Vietnam had. He’d always met it head-on. And then conquered it.
Just like he now tried.
But he’d never felt so vulnerable or exposed.
He locked eyes with her, watching for a reaction, even as he tensed in order to withstand it. He didn’t blink. She matched that, too, despite her need. He watched her light blue eyes glisten as tears formed atop the surface. His chest felt like a vise had seized him and was clamped in place, winding tighter with each heartbeat. His throat went dry. He tried swallowing anyway. That was stupid. The move scraped and burned. And that was before he tried speaking.
“Lee...Ann?”
“Your eyes are really dark, Kane.”
“I know.”
“I mean...really dark.”
She broke their gaze, and looked down. Hiding from him. He watched her dab at her eyes with the cuffs of material at each wrist. She stood. Kane jerked back so they wouldn’t touch, despite how he craved that very thing. She cinched her belt robe tighter abou
t her waist. She was trembling. Her voice reflected how badly.
“I think...I could use a bathroom about now,” she informed him.
“Sorry, love. That’s a negative.”
“Excuse me?”
“There isn’t one.”
“It’s through here. Right?”
She walked to the door to his other room. Pushed it open. He heard her walking about the space. She’d find a closet that held his clothing. A bureau and mirrored dresser that did the same. A platform for him to rest atop. Nothing more.
She came back.
“You don’t have a bathroom in there,” she informed him.
“I know.”
“So...this is like a hostel? The facilities are shared? And out in the hall somewhere?”
“No.”
“I mean passageway. Is that the problem here? I’m not speaking mariner lingo? Should I call it a passageway, and the bathroom a ‘head’?”
“That’s not it, LeeAnn.”
This was harder than Vietnam. Worse than when his SEAL Team had hit the wrong village. Killed innocents. And four of his teammates had slaughtered witnesses before Kane could stop the carnage with more of it. That action was what got him sent into this limbo rather than the real hell. Once it was over. And everyone was either dead. Or dying. He still remembered it. Vividly. He’d never forget. He still suffered visions of how every moan from the blood-soaked scene had faded...
And then gone silent.
“Then, what is it, Kane?”
Her voice brought him back to the present with a jolt. It was followed by the sound of the cabin door handle getting joggled. He snapped his head toward the sound. LeeAnn was at the door, working the door handle up and down.
“Babe. Stop. Please.”
“Why won’t this door open?”
“You don’t have my palm marks.”
“You have to do that on the inside, too? Well? Come over here and open it for me.”
“Why?”
“So I can search out a bathroom!”
“There are no bathrooms out there, either.”
“Okay. So where are they located? Near the shower room?”
“No.”
“Then where?”
“You are in purgatory, LeeAnn. No one needs them here.”
She opened her mouth. Shut it. Put her hands on her hips. Looked really small. Slightly obstinate. Disbelieving. And eternally beloved. If his heart wasn’t sending solid shards of pain with every beat, he’d have smiled. The vise about his chest squeezed tighter, nearing crippling capacity. He leaned forward to absorb it.
“Okay. Cut the bullshit, Kane. I wasn’t going to do anything other than splash water on my face. Maybe take a sip of water. But now, I’m going to start getting pissed. I don’t believe in purgatory. Or—or vampires. Or zombies. Or...any of that crap! Now, get off your ass and help me!”
He sucked in a breath. Stood. It took an act of will to straighten to his full height. And it sent a lot more than pain. He looked down at his chest. Odd. Nothing showed. He should be hemorrhaging from a gaping wound.
Exactly like it felt.
“Now. Get over here and open this door.”
“That’s not...a good plan.”
“It’s better than yours.”
He walked toward her slowly, wincing once before he caught it. He’d never been in love, so he’d never dealt with rejection of it. He hadn’t known it sent physical trauma. And that love, too, had a dark side.
“I’ve got to get this door open. Find a phone. Or...maybe the lifeboats. That’s it! There’s got to be a lifeboat station. I can figure out how to lower one. It can’t be that hard. There are probably placards. There are signs for everything.”
He neared. Each step was agony. She was everything that was light. Warmth. Wonder. He loved her with every fiber of his being. And what had he done?
Brought her into the darkness with him.
The full extent of what he’d done overwhelmed him for a moment. He felt ill. Completely shaken. Tremors ran his frame. Tears stung his eyes. He’d been sent here to earn a place in heaven. Maybe another chance at life. Not blow it this badly.
Kane looked away. Blinked rapidly. Watched a bulkhead blur and mesh into a wash of gray tones. And then he closed his eyes and silently begged for help. Because he had to rectify this. She didn’t have anyone else.
“LeeAnn. I’ll get you...off the ship. I promise. LeeAnn?”
“What?” She spun, planted her back against the door and looked up at him.
“I can’t...let you out there. Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“It’s...too dangerous.”
“That’s it! I refuse to believe that there is a hitman out there with the resources to track me underwater to this nightmare, and that he is, right now, hunkered down around a corner, waiting for the perfect shot at me! I refuse! You hear me?”
She was yelling, but the space around them easily absorbed the sound.
“He’s not the problem, love.”
“Don’t call me that! Not right now! Please?”
Her voice broke. And he’d been wrong. The vise-like pain had merely been a prelude. Kane sucked air in so rapidly his teeth iced. Agony roared through him, sending everything to an excruciating level. Fire-hot. Flesh-burning. It didn’t seem possible he could absorb it and continue functioning. He slammed his palm onto the wall in order to remain standing.
“Are you all right?”
She sounded truly worried. Her hesitant step toward him matched the impression. As did the touch of her hand where she placed it on his upper arm.
“It’s not...your would-be...assassin. It’s the...others.”
He couldn’t even get through a sentence without pausing. That was bad. Her eyes went huge. They drew him, and despite knowing she’d see the emptiness of his soul, he locked gazes with her. She had such beautiful eyes. Perfectly formed. Clear. So full of life. The connection lasted mere seconds. But it sent absolute rapture. Complete bliss. Wonderment beyond imagining. Things he’d never experience again.
And he knew it.
Kane set his jaw and broke away from her gaze. But he couldn’t prevent the moan that escaped his lips.
“Kane?”
Her voice was soft as she said his name! So incredibly beautiful. He wondered if he’d get to keep the memory when he ended up where he was going.
“I have to keep you from...Jezzie. Leon. Rafael. Dozens...more.”
“I’m in danger from them?”
He nodded.
“Why?”
“We’re in purgatory.”
“Give it a rest, Kane. Okay? You’re starting to sound crazy.”
“Dark angels...normally blend in with humanity. Co-existence is not...a problem. But in purgatory, we revert. Crave...what we do not have. The...human spirit. Light. Life force—”
“Dark what?”
“Angels. We’re all dark angels.”
Her mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. Kane started talking. And it actually got easier. “We’re stuck here, hovering between heaven and hell. Purgatory has different names. Different locations. This ship is just one of them.”
“What? How?”
“I was pulled from death in 1969, LeeAnn. I’ve spent the years since trying for redemption. Because the alternative is hell. Literally.”
“No way.”
“Sometimes...I’ve heard we can get another chance at life. But I don’t know how to—”
She interrupted his explanation. She started gesturing. She got louder and faster as she spoke. As if he wasn’t less than a foot from her. Unable to cease listening.
“You know, I always dreamed of meeting a man like you, Kane! Strong. Handsome. Uber-sexy. I’d fall in love! We’d have great sex. A nice wedding. Get a house in the suburbs. Have two-point-eight kids. A family car. We’d live the dream! I wanted to find my soul-mate! Is that so bad?”
She stopped and pulled in a breath.
�
�I wanted to find the man I could grow old with! But does any of that happen? Oh, no. Not to me. I can’t be normal! Not LeeAnn Schultz. I have to fall for a guy who says he’s already dead! That’s what I do!”
“What...did you just say?”
He didn’t notice the light outlining his palm, even as it warmed her face. Lit her features. Gave her an ethereal glow.
“You heard me!”
She said it militantly, but then she launched at him, flung her arms about his neck and gave him heaven. Her kiss was pure magic. Filled with healing light. Kane wrapped both arms about her and rocked backward, his fall stopped by the bulkhead.
And then the cabin door clicked open.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Leon came through the portal, pushing the door wide. He had a gun held to his head. It was attached to an arm that turned out to belong to a fellow in black. Approximately Kane’s height, but a lot thinner. He pushed Leon into the room. His other hand held another 9mm. He immediately aimed it at toward LeeAnn. Kane shoved her behind him, and held her there with an arm.
“Hi, cupcake,” the guy said. “Surprised to see me?”
“What’s going on, Leon?” Kane asked.
“Address me, asshole. He’s a patsy.”
The man shoved Leon away from him. Leon stumbled and caught the door, holding it open as he lurched to a stop. His move kept the door from automatically closing. Kane met Leon’s gaze for a moment. Leon smiled. Kane didn’t return it.
“You got a name, buddy?” Kane asked conversationally.
“Yeah. Victor. As in...winner. Champion.”
“I knew that already, Victor, but thanks for the lesson. So. What can we do for you?”
“You are a hard man to track, pretty boy. Not impossible, but hard. Took every nano-tracker I had.”
“You used a nano-tracker?” Kane nodded as if impressed.
“Cute little units. Send a strong signal. Easy to hide anywhere. Real easy to hide in SCUBA gear. You thought you lost me with that little underwater stunt back in the Keys, didn’t you?”
“Well. It was a hope.”
“Lame. And here I thought you’d be a challenge.”
“Likewise,” Kane replied.
“So. You know what I want. I suggest you just hand her over.”
