“She would have made a fantastic mother I’m sure of it, however, it doesn’t stop you from moving on and starting a family, you know she wanted that for you” he said.
I hated it when they started like this, I know what she wanted for me, she told me enough times herself and every-time I heard her, I felt sick. I have had a few one-night stands when I have been heavily intoxicated but that was all they were, and even then I somehow felt guilty like I was betraying Jas, which was stupid.
“One day maybe, but right now I have a house to finish.” I said, brushing him off.
He was the only one I could really talk to about her, he would always remember the Jas we loved but right now I didn’t want to talk about her.
“I’ll come by sometime this week and see how it looks,” he said, changing the conversation.
He had been to the new house a few times, I think he gets bored often as he hasn’t worked since Jas died. He and my mum were always off travelling around the world but it was truly like he lost a daughter, he hasn’t got over losing her, Henry being with my mum helps him though.
“Sure, I’m going to start packing up here soon. I’ll be able to live in the new house as soon as the kitchen is finished. I can live with the garden not finished and then I can oversee the work on the outhouse” I said, keeping the conversation going.
“If you need any help you know where I am” he offered, before heading back into the house. I followed once my head felt clear and found my mum clearing the table and both Jack and Jasmine-Lily were playing in the living room.
“Are you okay son?”
“I’m fine, quit worrying about me” I told her, and went and sat with the kids as she couldn’t talk about anything when they were around, a tactic I learnt quickly.
My mother and Henry left late into the afternoon but not before cooking us dinner and leaving it to simmer. The most work I’ll have to do is wash up the dinner plates.
Jasmine-Lily was ready for bed by seven pm and Jack stayed up past nine trying to kick my ass on the xbox. Natalie will moan at me because on Monday morning they will be tired, but I don’t get to see them much during the week, if at all, and with the house build I hardly get to see them on weekends, so I could live with the repercussions.
Part of me was dreading the house being completed as between building the new house and creating Collins Construction they kept me busy but after that I wasn’t sure what would be my focus.
After pouring another whiskey to help me sleep I headed up to bed knowing I had survived another day.
I swear it takes longer to round up all the kid’s things than it does to build a house, we eventually made it back to Alex and Nat’s just before dinner.
“Hey baby girl” Nat squealed taking Jasmine-Lily from me. It was lovely watching the bond between them and then between her and Jack when he came running in and wrapped himself round Nat’s legs.
“Have you two had fun with Uncle Chris?” she asked them.
“We went swimming and he doesn’t have babies because he is too busy, nanny said so,” he said out of the blue.
“Really? Why don’t you take your sister and see how Grapes is?” she said glancing at me, obviously wanting to know what Jack was going on about. Grapes is their pet rabbit, Jack was allowed the choice of his name and that is what he chose. She waited till they were out of the room before turning to me.
“How did you get on the topic of babies?” she asked smirking. I sat down at the table before answering.
“Mum asked about Anna and then he came out and asked me why I didn’t have any babies,” I explained.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. Mum stepped in and told him I was too busy having fun with them” I could see she was about to start up where I cut my mother off about moving on so I rapidly changed course.
“I am moving into the new house in a couple of weeks so keep a night free for drinks to celebrate”
“Can I bring someone?” she asked, looking suspicious.
“I don’t think Alex will be too happy about that” I joked.
“Ha-ha, no a girlfriend” she said, turning red.
“Sure, who?”
“Megan Cooper”
“Her name doesn’t ring a bell, where is my brother anyway?” I asked, before she began hinting at the idea of me dating again.
“He is outside trying to finish putting the kids climbing frame up,” she laughed.
She was right, he was trying and by the sounds of his cursing he wasn’t finding it easy. Their garden was huge and very nicely kept, there wasn’t a weed in sight.
“Don’t worry, help is here” I joked, walking over to him where he was surrounded by instructions and lengths of wood.
“This is ridiculous. If we paid extra we could have had someone come out and put it together but no, Nat said it is a fatherly thing to do” he moaned, as I struggled not to laugh at his expression of his wife.
“Pass that here and I’ll help you,” I said, pointing to the instruction guide in his hands.
“Good luck, I would have been finished hours ago if they made any sense,” he said.
Four hours later, four hours! We had completed it, we could build houses but when it comes to a play frame or whatever it is, it had us baffled.
“They will be very pleased, thank you for helping him,” Nat said to me as we walked into the kitchen.
Rose had come out to tell us dinner was ready a couple of hours ago but we wanted to get it finished so she put them in the oven.
“I didn’t need no help” Alex said stiffly, offended at the idea that he was incapable of finishing it on his own.
“Whatever, the kids are in bed and I am going for a bath,” she said before leaving us.
“Have you spoke to Jase today?” I asked Alex as we settled at the table with our meals from the oven.
“Anna spoke to Nat this morning, no baby yet. Apparently, she can’t move without Jase hovering over her. Sounds like he is getting in the way. Nat said she would go and see her tomorrow if there still isn’t any sign” he said.
I could imagine Jase being overprotective, I would be in his situation. I never thought I would see the day he would settle down and begin a family but I suppose that is what happens at our age.
I could feel the depression misting over me again, everywhere I went everyone was settling down and was happy in their relationships and here I am on my own as usual, the only other person who was still on their own was Rose which was comforting in a selfish way.
I pushed my plate away as I couldn’t eat another bite. I suddenly had to get out of here, this is what it has been like since she left me, I would be fine one moment and then out of the blue it would creep up on me and I was unable to breathe all over again.
“Are you alright Chris?” Alex asked, noticing the difference in me.
Everyone called me Chris these days, CJ grew up, he no longer existed and I didn’t let anyone call me Christopher.
“I’m good, I have to go though,” I said, clearing my plate away.
He is used to my up and leaving at a moment’s notice and tonight was no different, he doesn’t question me or want to know the whys like the rest of them.
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow then” he said, walking me out to my car.
“Okay little bro”
I started the car and felt the roar as I pushed down on the accelerator and drove to a home I hated, where I had no family of my own.
Chapter Two
The kitchen was completed yesterday, the design for the gardens were finalised and work will begin within days, I had a team of workmen held back to start building the outhouse. I looked around the house I have been living in for the past twelve years and felt no sadness about my departure. Everything was boxed and ready to go, I was leaving the furniture as I had decided to rent the house as fully furnished, plus I wanted all new for the new house. Jase was meant to be here half hour ago with a van but since Anna had given birth to thei
r daughter, Sophia Ella Bent, he has been doting on her like the proud father he is full time, which today it is annoying as I want to get the hell out of here.
After another half hour of waiting and four voice messages later he was banging on the door.
“About time you showed up, you was meant to be here an hour ago,” I said, letting him know I was pissed off.
“I know, I am sorry but Sophia had us up most of the night, she wouldn’t stop crying,” he moaned.
I could see how tired he is, I don’t know what has happened to me but when he or my brother moan about being tired from sleepless nights because of the kids, I feel sorry for them and allow their mistakes.
“Rather you then me” I teased.
I might feel sorry for them but that didn’t mean I wished it upon myself.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked, looking around the place.
“Completely. Alex is waiting at the new house to help unload, so come on,” I said, picking up a box to take to the van.
Once he got a move on it didn’t take long to load up and before long I was following the van in my beamer. The Aston Martin was already parked in the garage at the new house and locked away.
The only downside of living on the edge of the city was that I wasn’t close enough to have a local pub, my mother loved that fact, so I had an extra fridge delivered and stocked full with beers. I’m thirty-four and she still frowns when I drink, not so much with Alex but he had become a responsible drinker when Jack was born – my mothers’ words not mine.
It didn’t take long to unload and for everyone to disappear before I had the chance to ask for more help unpacking the boxes. I had the rest of the day to unpack as much as I could and tonight I had everyone coming round for house warming drinks. Between Rose and my mother I wouldn’t have to arrange food, thank god.
I walked around the house fully completed, it was a two-story five-bedroom house, it wasn’t as big as Jasmine’s but it wasn’t far off. I planned to live here for the rest of my life so everything had to be to my taste. Neutral colours throughout, with light coloured carpets in the main rooms and tiled flooring through the entrance hall and kitchen. The kitchen is my favourite, glossy black units and worktops with splashes of red thrown in here and there. To fully complete the house I just had to add my personal belongings.
I started to unpack the pictures and photographs and walked around looking where to place them. The collage I had when Jas was alive was already hanging on the wall on the upstairs landing, it stretched across the wall from one end to the other.
After I finished hanging the pictures, I headed up to my new room to unpack and make the bed that was delivered yesterday.
I laid the fresh sheets on the bed and was tempted to lay on it, feeling tired after the busy day so far, but I forced myself to carry on as I knew my mother would be looking around tonight and if she thought she could help in any way we wouldn’t see her again.
I cracked on opening the boxes and cases of clothes and started hanging them in the new wardrobes. The last box to be opened was the hardest of all as it contained some items of Jas’s, some photographs of her as a child, a bottle of her favourite perfume, bits like that, and kept with these bits and bobs is the letter she gave me and the black mask I wore to the masquerade ball during our first weekend together.
I couldn’t face unpacking it in the end so I carried it to the wardrobe and put it on the top shelf at the back. While I was there I picked out a shirt to wear for tonight and went for a shower.
Before I reconnected with Jas I only dreamed of building my own home, now I am standing on the porch of my new home, overlooking the front lawn with expensive cars belonging to my family and friends.
Apart from Alex and Jase nobody had seen the house finished, the women were off taking their own tours of the place with the kids in tow, while us men went to the kitchen and cracked open the beers. Not including my mother and Henry, I am the only one here with no responsibilities and tonight I planned on taking advantage of it and getting smashed.
The only problem being in your mid-thirties was when you had your friends over, if they couldn’t get a sitter they bought their kids with them. I don’t dislike kids but I don’t want to see family life around me when I don’t have that privilege myself. Everyone was having a good time and the drinks were flowing, the next guest to arrive was Natalie’s friend. I opened the door to find a blonde bombshell standing on the step.
“Hi, I’m Megan” she said.
She didn’t look the quiet type but her voice sounded calm and soothing.
“Hi, I’m Chris, come in” I offered, widening the door to let her pass.
Nice little body too, she walked past me and through to the kitchen and for some reason I followed staring at her ass.
“Your house is lovely, Nat tells me you built it yourself,” she said, taking in everything.
She obviously felt comfortable enough to lead the way in a house she had never been to, owned by a guy who she had never met before.
“It isn’t finished yet and I had help” I replied.
“Well obviously, I didn’t think you done it by yourself” she quipped back.
So she knew how to use sarcasm, tonight began to look better, it should be a laugh.
When we reached the kitchen she disappeared when she spotted Nat and left me stumped.
I re-joined Alex and Jase who were now talking with a couple of guys from work. I tried to join in the conversation but my mind and eyes kept wondering to Megan. She was still with Nat and now my mum chatting and laughing away, when Nat caught me looking, she grabbed Megan’s hand and walked over to me.
“Chris, this is my friend Megan I was telling you about” she said.
I knew what she was doing and so did Megan by the look on her blushing face. She didn’t look angry though, more like amused. Oddly, so did I.
“I know, we met briefly when I let her in,” I said smiling sweetly at Nat.
“Oh, I was just telling her how you built you this house yourself” she said, trying to make me sound like a good catch.
“But with help” Megan said, trying to hide her giggle.
Nat looked at us suspiciously before making some lame excuse to leave us alone.
“She isn’t very subtle is she” she said.
“That she isn’t” I replied.
I liked her already, her calmness was soothing and she wasn’t afraid to speak what was on her mind. I quickly gave her a second look, she really was pretty in an edgy, spunky kind of way. Rather than just noticing her short blonde hair, I was noticing the ends of her hair was flicked out and styled. When she smiled her eyes glistened. Whoa, where was this coming from? I haven’t been completely celibate since Jas left me, but I never once took much detail of what they looked like, not like now with Megan.
I saw women everyday near enough but I never really saw them.
“So, we might as well chat for a while to keep her happy” she said, smiling.
“She hasn’t told me much about you, do you work together?” I asked her.
“I met Nat years ago when we used to go out but now she is my son’s teacher” she said, crinkling her eyes slightly when she let out she had a child. Maybe she thought I would run for the hills. I admit I did feel a little gutted she had a kid but who hasn’t at our age, at least we would have something to talk about if conversation ran dry.
“How old is your son?” I asked, forgetting what age Nat teaches.
“He is six, he’s called Jamie,” she said, relaxing as I asked her about him.
“And you’re not with his dad?” I asked being upfront, I didn’t believe Nat would try to set me up with someone who was in a relationship but I still had to check.
“No, Jamie stays with him on weekends. What about you, do you have any children?”
“No, would you like another drink?” I desperately wanted to change the direction of this conversation.
“Seems a shame with this big house
, you have plenty of room for children to run around,” she said obviously not going with the change in conversation.
“I have been busy with this place and work, I haven’t really had time to think about it,” I told her, heading for the drinks counter.
“But you were married, didn’t any of you want children?” she asked.
Wow, she really wasn’t letting this go, and as soon as she bought Jasmine up I did feel like running.
“If you know I was married, you probably know I wasn’t married for very long so no, none of us thought about children” I lied.
I know I was being short with her but I wasn’t going to tell her about our life together, she only needed to know the basics and it seems like Nat has already covered that.
“She did say something about it but she didn’t want to go into detail”
I felt the fight leave me when she explained. I don’t really care if she did know more, as long as I wasn’t the one who had to tell her.
“Let’s not talk about that tonight,” I said handing her another drink.
She took it and headed out for the garden, I found myself wanting to talk to her some more. We sat talking for over an hour without interruption before my mother, my kind but annoying mother came over to introduce herself even though they had already met earlier.
I turned around and what I think of as our little group – Henry, Rose, Alex, Nat, Jase and Anna- was standing looking at us.
Each of them over the last couple of years had tried to set me up on various dates, but I always refused saying I was busy with work and the house when actually I just wasn’t ready. I don’t know if I am ready now but I have enjoyed talking to Megan tonight. She might turn out to be a complete nutter but we have some things in common and I like her sense of humour. Her and my mum started up their own conversation so I made my excuses and left them to it, if I stayed and listened to my mother’s hopes for me to meet someone new, I would die.
“Haven’t you lot got anything better to do then to stare at me?” I joked joining them.
“We were making sure you remembered how to talk to women,” Jase piped up laughing.
Eternal Hearts (Incurable Hearts 2) Page 2
