by S. M. Bowles
“No!” I shouted finally breaking free from her. I tried to open my mind to Herrik to call out to him but Carah was too fast. Her right hand flashed out and seized my face. I couldn’t break free from her gaze and I felt it all crumbling in my mind. Everything she had done, everything that had just happened was swept away. My head lolled, my eyes rolled and I fell lifelessly back onto the bed.
Carah checked my pulse, laid her palm on my forehead searchingly and once she was satisfied tucked me beneath the covers and made sure there was absolutely no indication that she had ever been there.
It was well past lunchtime when I woke. I felt completely refreshed and ravenously hungry. Penny hadn’t made it home yet and I wasn’t sure when I should expect her so I decided to make something for myself rather than wait. As I was rifling through the refrigerator a sudden smile brightened my face. I had the uncanny sense that Herrik was nearby and when the doorbell rang I hurried to answer it. My suspicions were confirmed as soon as I opened the door.
He was turned away from me looking over his shoulder at a bird that flitted by with its beak full of some treasure or other it had collected for lining its nest. “I knew it was you!” I threw my arms around him.
“Well who else would it have been? Is there someone trying to woo you away from me? Who is he? And does he bring you these?” he pulled out a bouquet of wildflowers that he must have gathered during his walk to my apartment.
“Oh, they’re beautiful!” I reached out to take them from him.
“Uh, uh! Not until you tell me who he is,” Herrik teased.
“Aww, you know there’s no one else!”
Herrik’s playful expression slipped for a moment. He handed me the flowers and took my chin. I thought he was going to kiss me but instead he peered into my eyes and tilted my face this way and that. My heart skipped a beat as he looked at me. He absolutely took my breath away.
“Have you been anywhere today? Had any company?”
“Hmm? No. I just came home and took a nap why?”
Herrik shook his head as though he was trying to clear it. His brilliant smile returned, “You just look a little...it’s nothing. Probably just some residual cloudiness from this morning. Are you going to invite me in or should I just scoop you up and let myself in?”
I grinned but never had a chance to answer, he swept me and my flowers off my feet and carried me inside kicking the door closed with the back of his foot. He finally kissed me before carefully setting me back down.
“Oh, I’ve missed you!” He buried his face in my hair.
“Have you? It’s only been a few hours.”
He looked saddened by my lack of empathy, “Haven’t you missed me?”
His hands were on my hips and my arms around his neck. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his, I opened my mind so he could see exactly how much I had missed him and how happy I was to have him there with me.
“That’s better,” he whispered against my kiss.
As I pulled back my stomach let out a loud rumble reacquainting me with my hunger.
“I thought you were going to have lunch with Penny.”
“I was but I fell asleep and she mustn’t have wanted to wait,” he followed me to the kitchen where I filled a vase and placed his flowers in it.
“Well that’s good actually, because I wanted to invite you to dinner.”
“Oh, I didn’t think you’d want to go out again so soon and after all that’s happened.”
“I didn’t plan on taking you out. I planned on making dinner for you.”
My eyes went wide with surprise, “Really?” I remembered the last time he had cooked for me and my stomach growled again with anticipation.
“If you can control that beast in your belly for an hour or so, yes!”
I cocked my head at him, “Challenge accepted!”
Herrik smiled and reached for my hand, “Let’s be on our way then.”
“Should I grab anything?”
“I’ll do the grabbing,” he playfully whirled me around and drew me close then kissed me again.
“Do unto others…”
Herrik took my hand before I could follow through, “Dinner first,” he chided.
“Fine,” I rolled my eyes and dutifully followed him to the door. “Let me just write a note to Penny so she’ll know not to expect me.” We stopped at the console in the foyer and I scribbled a few lines before we headed out.
We walked hand in hand through the garden, slowly, taking our time and enjoying the serenity of the scenery. Herrik glanced at me from time to time alight with happiness. I wondered how he could remain so calm and confident under the circumstances. I both envied and idolized him for his strength and surety. I hoped that he wasn’t being careless and that he had considered all the possibilities and taken the necessary precautions to protect himself.
When we got to his apartment we went straight to the kitchen. He had obviously anticipated that I wouldn’t reject his offer for dinner and had a number of things prepped and waiting for whatever he had in mind.
“So what are we making?” I asked as I studied the various ingredients.
“We? Me,” Herrik corrected. “You will sit,” he tucked me up onto the kitchen island, “right here and keep me company while I work.”
After giving me a quick peck Herrik uncorked a bottle of wine and poured a glass for me. As I took a small sip he slipped an apron on and got started on my meal. It didn’t seem fair to be sitting sipping wine while he put so much effort into making a dinner he wouldn’t be able to enjoy but Herrik reminded me how much he liked to cook and his expression completely confirmed his assertion.
“So how did everything go today after I left?” I asked curious to know what kind of resolutions he and Artur, Carah and Avery had come up with.
Herrik took a deep breath as he dipped his fingertips into a dish of seasonings he had sifted together and began rubbing it into a thick filet he had on the cutting board.
“Well, we are going to start with the people Jesse was closest to. Carah and Avery have contacts on the upper levels that they will discretely use as eyes and ears to learn whatever they can. If they uncover anything suspicious they will bring them to Artur. He oversees everyone’s work assignments so he can study them under the pretense of job assessments and satisfaction. Other than that we really don’t have any plans – just watch and wait.”
“Watch and wait? That doesn’t sound very expedient,” I sipped my wine again and tried not to sound quite as concerned as I was.
“We can’t be too aggressive, Emily. If we do whoever was behind this might just realize that we are aware of them. We don’t want to make anyone nervous enough to escape without justice. Who knows what kind of havoc they might wreak if they thought they were in danger of discovery. Exposure is the last thing we want right now.”
“I understand,” I shook my head, “but I’m still worried for you.”
Herrik brushed my temple with a kiss, “I know. But we’re here and we’re together and that is the last thing I want you to be thinking about under such favorable circumstances. He laid his hand on my cheek reassuringly then turned away and went to the stove.
“May I ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything!” Herrik replied eager to change the subject.
“How old are you?”
He paused what he was doing and looked at me with a quirky little grin, “Why? Would it change the way you feel about me if you knew?”
“Maybe,” I teased.
“Well, then I’m 29, you know that,” he turned back to the stove. I thought I could still see a hint of a smile playing on his profile.
“I’m sure I could figure it out if I wanted.”
“Could you?”
“Hmm…let’s see,” I tapped my chin with my fingertip and shifted my gaze. “If you were 29 when…and Daemon was about 24 when…Oh, my!” I laughed out loud. “You must be over 60!”
Herrik sighed and seemed to be dismayed
by my deductions.
“Oh,” I quickly apologized. “Please,” I begged, “I didn’t mean anything by it. I…I love you. Herrik,” I hopped off the counter, “I love you,” I covered him with kisses.
“It’s not that,” he took my face in my hands. “I know you love me. I know how much you love me,” I felt him sifting through my thoughts and willing let him see how right he was.
“Then what’s wrong?”
Herrik turned off the stove and covered the skillet he was using to keep the steak warm. “Carah suggested something and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind.”
I couldn’t imagine what he might have meant and how his age had anything to do with it.
“That it might have been Daemon who put Jesse up to this.”
“Daemon?”
Herrik nodded, “Mmm hmm.”
I shook my head, “But how and why? You said it couldn’t have been a vampire; that they are all pledged to you.”
“Daemon never was. I wouldn’t let him. He is my son. My flesh and blood. I trusted him completely, absolutely.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. My mind was a flurry of thoughts. Herrik took his apron off and laid it on the counter. He was quiet and solemn as he began arranging my plate, placing everything he had made for me just so. He refilled my wine glass and handed it to me then gathering up my dinner led me to the dining room.
He helped me with my chair and took a seat right next to me at the head of the table. I felt like I had lost my appetite after the turn of our conversation.
“Please,” he encouraged me, “eat. Eat!” and when I didn’t immediately respond he began cutting my meat up for me.
“OK, OK, I’ll eat!” I took the fork from him and laid the knife down. I took his right hand in my left and my fork in my right then took my first bite.
“Oh,” I rolled my eyes, “it’s delicious!”
“Thank you. And thank you for sharing,” he ran his fingers across mine.
After eating a few bites I felt like I could pick-up the topic of Daemon again. “I’m sure it wasn’t him. I remember when…he seemed like a good man, Herrik. He…he’s just like you. I know he is. It couldn’t have been him,” I shook my head in emphasis.
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am! I know I am!”
He smiled, happy with my assertion.
“May I ask you something else?”
This time Herrik wasn’t as quick to reply and hesitated a long moment before he answered “Yes, but I cannot promise I will answer if I don’t like your question.”
His expression made me reluctant but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to know the answer, “How did Daemon become like you? Vampires aren’t born…and besides you weren’t a vampire when he was conceived.”
Herrik’s jaw clenched and he tightened his grip on my fingers. For a moment I didn’t think he was going to answer and when he opened his mouth to speak I was sure he was going to change the topic.
“I don’t know. He couldn’t remember and when I tried to find it in his thoughts there was nothing there. Whatever happened, however it came about, was wiped away.”
“Why would anyone do that? Just change him and then leave him without any memories of what they had done,” I wondered out loud.
“I don’t know. It’s forbidden here, embracing humans, unless…well…for life partners it can be approved by the council.”
The statement surprised me. I don’t know why Herrik never told me but it seemed like a terribly important thing for me to know.
“I never told you because I don’t want you to consider it. You promised me already that when the time comes.”
I looked away, “I know,” and rather than confront him I turned my focus back to Daemon.
“How did you find him? Or did he find you?”
“I’ve always watched over him. The same way I watch over your family, though no system is infallible. There must have been some unguarded moment somewhere and somehow…Thankfully Carah found him and brought him to me. It was one of the saddest days of my life…but one of the happiest, too,” Herrik’s eyes were pools of emotion. “I finally had the chance to meet my son, to know my son and for him to know me.”
I reached out and touched his cheek, “It must have been very hard.”
“At first. But he adjusted and so did I. Penny had a lot to do with it.”
“Penny?”
“Yes, she came to us when she was about the age you were when Carah brought you here,” Herrik eyed my plate and didn’t start speaking again until I picked up my fork. “Her family…every one of them…wiped out. It was like an execution. No one knows why but it was obviously done by a vampire. For some reason when he came to her, when it was her time to…he couldn’t do it. He left her there untouched while her mother, father, brothers and sister…”
“Artur is ever on the watch for these types of anomalies. She was in the news for days. Everyone thought she was insane. They put her in a hospital where she was soon forgotten – the crazy girl whose family was murdered by a vampire. Artur insisted we could give her a better life, that we owed it to her to try so he sent Avery and he brought her here to us.”
“She grew up here, much like you did. Then Daemon came. By then they were about the same age and in their minds they were both outsiders. They didn’t feel like they belonged here but when they met…everything changed. They just…blossomed. I think that hearing her talk about her life with us and learning all that he learned from her about how we lived. It convinced Daemon more than anything else could. And his love for her did very much the same – made Penny realize that she could belong, that their two worlds could coexist and that anything was possible even after all that she had been through.”
“So why did he run away? What happened that could have changed all that?”
“They went to the council and petitioned them to let Penny become one of us.”
“And they were denied,” I said realizing that was the only possibility.
“It was a split decision…it was the only choice I could make.”
My face fell, “Oh…you…”
Herrik lowered his gaze.
“They tried to run away but Avery or Carah, one of them learned of their plans and caught Daemon trying to…to…”
“It’s OK,” I understand.
“They brought him before the council and…I…I just couldn’t be there so I sent Artur in my place…they sentenced Daemon…there is only one punishment for unlawfully embracing a human…”
“Please, Herrik…you’ve said enough,” I got up and stood behind him. I laid my chin on the top of his head and wrapped my arms around his chest while I kissed and comforted him.
“No…no there’s more…I…I think you should know. I helped him escape...I made it look like I was trying to stop him. I…I took as much as I dared from him then I let him go…let him run. He should have been miles and miles away but Carah has an exceptional gift for tracking. He wasn’t fast enough and before the night had barely begun she managed to find him. Somehow he was able to fight himself free after she caught him and…and he hid under a house…”
“My house!”
“Yes…” Herrik whispered. “You found him. I saw you find him. I had so much of Daemon’s blood in me…it felt like it was me lying there in the dust and dirt! I made him…I forced him to accept your offer…I’m sorry. I never knew what it would mean for you. I thought you would give him just enough…just enough…but I had taken more from him than I imagined and Carah had weakened him, too. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t stop!”
Herrik’s arms wrapped around me and he clung to me full of grief and remorse. “I’m sorry, Emily! I stole your life from you to save my son and now…I’ve forced you to love me when I have done nothing to earn or be worthy of that devotion!”
I closed my eyes and with all the surety I could muster, “I wouldn’t change a thing, Herrik. I am sorry for the way it all came about but I wouldn’t
change it. I know in my heart that everything had to happen this way or it wouldn’t have happened at all. If I could go back and choose between you and the life I might have had I would choose you. I would always choose you.”
“How could you? How can you possibly forgive me?”
“Forgive you for what? For loving your son? For loving me? There is nothing to forgive!” I moved around him and gathered his face in my hands then kissed him.
“You mean that don’t you?” his eyes were full of hope as they met mine.
“You know I do!”
“I can never make it up to you but I promise you that for however long we have I will do my best.”
“You already have; without even trying,” I gazed down at him.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
Herrik sighed as the tension between us slipped away, “I don’t want to keep anything from you. I want you to love me without all the doubts and reservations you would have had if I kept the truth from you.” He paused for a short moment and shook his head, “I didn’t mean to bring any of this up,” he smiled weakly, “but I’m glad you know. I’m sorry if I’ve made a wreck of our night.”
“No,” I squeezed him tight, “just sidelined it for a bit,” I said. “Let’s clean up so we can make the most of what’s left!” I tugged him to his feet.
Chapter 16
Once we were done tidying up the kitchen we found ourselves at a loss as to what to do. Neither one of us wanted to leave the apartment and risk having our time together interrupted by anyone we might meet. So we ruled out the garden and common rooms. About the only thing we could agree on was that we wanted to be close. After a few minutes of indecision we ended up making our way to Herrik's living room and stretched out on one of the sofas together.
We talked quietly for a good portion of the night, mostly about ourselves, asking questions about books and music and so forth. Herrik seemed eager to learn everything he could and though I offered more than once to let him see for himself he insisted on asking questions and hearing my answers out loud.
Surprisingly there was quite a bit that we didn't know about one another. Eventually the questions came slower and slower and the answers less surprising. Then I started to think about Daemon again.
