by Selena Kitt
I couldn’t say a word—my mouth was too full of him—so I just worked harder, hand, mouth, tongue, all moving at once, urging him on, wanting to take him there. And then he was flooding my mouth with semen, so much of it I didn’t have any choice but to swallow, milking him with the soft suction of my mouth, every bit down my throat, burning like fire in my belly.
Rob pulled me to standing, holding me against him, both of us panting.
“Bathroom sex,” he said, voice hoarse. “Check.”
“Every room in the house.” I smiled, thinking of what he’d said about me thinking of him no matter what room I was in. I knew he was right. I was going to think about him in the kitchen, on my couch in the living room, in the bathroom, and, especially in my bed.
Every room was his now. He’d marked his territory.
But what I didn’t tell him was that none of it was necessary.
I was already his.
Chapter Eleven
We braved Leo’s on a Monday between the before-work breakfast clientele and the lunch crowd and it was as empty as I hoped it would be. Jodie was working and sat us in the same booth after she assured me she didn’t get in trouble for her little stunt the day before, pulling the alarm so we could make a quick escape. We each ordered the same thing—a repeat of yesterday, minus the rabid fans.
But instead of digging straight away into his eggs, this time Rob took his sunglasses off all on his own. He reached over and took my hand, meeting my eyes over a plate of French toast I felt too nauseous to eat. I didn’t want to look away, didn’t want to ever stop looking at him, solid and real sitting right across from me, but it was hard to maintain eye contact knowing it wasn’t long before we had to say goodbye. I knew he had to be able to see the sadness in my eyes.
“Listen, Sabrina, I’ve been thinking…”
“Uh-oh.” I smiled.
“Seriously, listen,” he urged. “I want to see you.”
“I’m right here.”
“Yeah, but before long I’m going to be out there.” He nodded toward the door and I sighed. “I was wondering if you would consider coming with me?”
“Out there?”
“On the road,” he said. “Yeah.”
I shook my head. “I can’t leave my job.”
“I can give you a job,” he replied. “There are plenty of jobs on the road. Hell, you can even sing backup if you want.”
“What about all my kids? I can’t just leave.” Me, sing backup? Was he kidding? “When does the tour end?”
“April.”
“It’s February.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“And then there will be more albums, another tour,” I reminded him.
“Yeah.” He couldn’t deny reality any more than I could, not now, not today.
“And your wife.”
He sighed.
“Now you listen.” I squeezed his hand, finally ready to tell him my sticking point, the one thing that kept me from going completely off the deep end with this man. “I’ve been pretending she doesn’t exist, but the reality is, she does. You’re married. And I can’t be with you if you’re still with her.”
“We’ve been separated for almost a year,” he replied. “But divorce… well, it’s complicated. Especially when you have as much money as I do. And she refused to sign a prenup.”
“And you married her anyway?”
“I was young and stupid.”
“And in love?” I asked softly.
“I would have said so, before I met you.”
I blinked at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That I—”
“Don’t say it.” I pulled away from him, shaking my head. “You’ve only known me…”
I got my phone out of my purse. “Two days, sixteen hours and thirty-four minutes…”
“You’re counting?” He laughed.
“Counting down to when you leave, and I wake up from this dream.” I picked up my fork, poking at my French toast. I wasn’t going to be able to eat it.
“What if I file for divorce?” Rob asked, chewing a bite of his omelet thoughtfully.
“You would do that?”
“For you, I would do anything.”
“Except give up being a rock star to stay here with me,” I said softly.
“Believe me, it’s far more tempting than you think,” he replied. “Is that what you want me to do?”
“No. Not really, no.” I would never want him to resent me, and I knew if I asked him to stay, he would. And he would regret it and ultimately blame me. Besides, I couldn’t take Rob Burns away from the world. He deserved to be where he was—he was following his calling. I couldn’t bear to take him from that.
“I want you, Sabrina,” he said, leaning on the table, getting as close as he could, his eyes dark pools. “And I will move heaven and earth to get you.”
“And then once you have me?”
Because that was really the question. What then?
“I will hug you and squeeze you and call you George…”
He made me laugh, but it was serious too. I could picture us together, like we had been all weekend, but I couldn’t imagine us out there, in the real world.
“How will it work?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” He sighed. “Life on the road… it’s like living in a tunnel. You travel all the time with blinders on, from one place to the next, show after show. The towns all start to look the same, people too. Everything feels narrow, constricted.”
“The tunnel.”
“Right.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I’m cut out for tunnel living.”
“All I’m asking right now is that you be my light.” He had my hand again, this time tracing the pale blue veins in my wrist.
“At the end of the tunnel?” I smiled.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know, Rob.” I was thinking of Josh and how we’d talked about trying to stay together, even though he would be so far away. “Long-distance relationships are so hard.”
“I’d be happy to have you with me.”
“In the tunnel?”
“You’d still be my light.” He lifted my hand and kissed the inside of my wrist.
“But what if it doesn’t work out for us? What if I give up my job and everything and come with you and then things fall apart? Then I’m left with… nothing.”
“Practical Sabrina.” He dipped his head to catch my gaze. “Where’s Wild Sabrina? Can I talk to her?”
“Two sides of the same coin.” I shrugged. “If you weren’t married, I think Wild Sabrina would run away with you right now.”
“I didn’t hide it from you,” he reminded me. “You’ve always known I was married.”
“Ah. But that’s different!” I protested. “Wild Sabrina could rationalize with Practical Sabrina on that point because it was only a few days. One perfect day, remember? Then it would be… over.”
“So that’s that.” Rob’s hand tightened in mine. “Practical Sabrina has the final say. It’s over.”
“It’s not that simple,” I argued. “Practical Sabrina, Wild Sabrina—they’re both me. I’m torn. I’m confused. I don’t know what to do.”
“What does your heart say?”
“Thump thump,” I replied with a smile. “It’s not much of an answer.”
“Close your eyes.”
I shook my head. “No, not here.”
“Close your eyes,” he insisted and of course I did. “What do you want?”
He knew. He had to know. My heart knew it too.
“You,” I whispered.
“There’s your answer.” He squeezed my hand, looking satisfied as I opened my eyes. “I’m yours if you want me.”
Oh my God, how could I possibly say no to this man?
“I do want you,” I choked out. “I do, Rob, but…”
“I guess the question then is how much.” He let go of my hand, sitting back in the booth, lo
oking at me.
“No, that’s not the question,” I said.
“What is?”
I shook my head. “If I knew that, maybe I could answer it.”
Rob glanced at his watch. “Bus leaves in an hour. I promised Ty I’d be there.”
I nodded. I knew exactly what time it was—and just how long we had before the bus left with Rob in it.
Jodie came by with the check and Rob pulled out his wallet, paying for yesterday’s breakfast as well as today’s. He remembered the name of her son—Cody—and Jodie simply beamed at that.
“Will I see you in here tomorrow?” Jodie asked hopefully.
“Afraid not.” Rob shook his head. “Heading out on the road again today.”
“Aw, that’s a shame.” Jodie looked between the two of us. “You two make such a cute couple.”
“Yeah, I can just see us splashed across all the tabloids,” I joked, drinking my orange juice. At least I could finish that.
“Rob and Sabrina.” Jodie mused. “Robalina!”
That made Rob laugh, but I barely managed a smile.
“Come on, let’s go,” Rob said when Jodie headed back to the kitchen.
I left most of my French toast untouched, not knowing if I’d ever be able to go into Leo’s again without thinking about Rob. It was probably ruined for life—along with the DIA, Bangkok Cafe and my entire house.
“You ready?” Rob asked as he buckled his seat belt.
“I want to show you something,” I said. “It’s on the way. Do you mind?”
“Sure.” He shrugged. “They won’t leave without me. Let’s go.”
I drove without thinking, knowing the way by heart. We didn’t talk until I pulled up to the building, red brick, low and flat.
“Where are we?” Rob asked, looking out the window.
“This is where I work.”
He perked up. “This is your school?”
“Come on.”
He followed me into the building. It was quiet, our shoes squeaking on the tile floor.
“Is anyone here?” Rob whispered like we were in church. “I thought it was a day off.”
“Secretaries and the principal will be here,” I said. “Teachers and students got the day off.”
I turned the hall and opened the first door on the right.
“Your classroom?” Rob asked as we stepped inside.
I flipped on the light. The bulletin board this month was covered with pictures of musicians—Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, all the big names. I’d drawn mustaches on all of them and at the top I’d stenciled, “I mustache you a question—do you know these musicians?” The kids loved it.
“I grew up here,” I told him, watching as he walked around the room, touching things, exploring. “This was my school.”
“You went to this school?” Rob had picked up my guitar and was idly strumming now as he wandered.
“My dad was a Detroit cop. There used to be a residency requirement. If you worked in Detroit, you had to live there.”
“Are you kidding me?” Rob’s eyebrows went up in surprise.
“Oh, it was very safe. We lived in Cop Row.” I smiled, recognizing the song he was playing—You Can’t Break a Broken Heart. “An entire city block full of cops in the middle of downtown Detroit. No one ever bothered us.”
“I bet!” He laughed, giving up the guitar and picking up my ukulele.
“My mother taught at Wayne State. She was full-time faculty for a long time but then they started cutting back and despite the years she’d spent teaching, they made her part time, adjunct faculty. She was ready to retire by then anyway.”
“Do they still live in Cop Row?” Rob seemed fascinated by this idea of an entire block of police officers living together.
“She and my dad moved to Florida right around the time I graduated from college. They wanted me to go with them, but I stayed here. By then they’d lifted the residency requirement and I could teach downtown but live outside of the city.”
“Lucky you!” Now he was playing Over the Rainbow on my ukulele.
“They didn’t want me to stay. My dad was worried about me, a single girl alone in the city. My mom was too I think. It had been safe when we all lived in Cop Row, but he didn’t like the idea of not being around to look out for me.”
“Why did you stay?”
I shrugged. “It feels good to give back.”
“You know what else feels good?” Rob set the ukulele aside and came over to put his arms around me. “I mean, besides you?”
“Hm?” I rested my head against his chest. His arms had started to feel like home.
“Getting something you’ve always dreamed of… something you barely allowed yourself to think about because you wanted it so much.”
“I never dared to dream about anything beyond this,” I whispered.
“I know.”
I lifted my face to look at him. “I like this dream.”
“It’s a good dream,” he agreed, glancing around the room. “But maybe… there’s a better one. If you set your sights a little bit higher.”
“Maybe.”
“I can guarantee it,” Rob’s arms tightened around me. “Just say the word. I can make all your dreams come true.”
“That’s a powerful claim.”
“I have magic sunglasses,” he reminded me with a grin. “I can do anything.”
“Come on.” I laughed, twisting out of his arms and heading for the door. “Don’t want you to miss the bus and give Tyler a heart attack.”
“Hey.” Rob caught up with me at the door, pulling me into his arms again. “Thank you for showing me. I wouldn’t blame you for a minute if you chose this.”
“Really?”
“I met Trevor, remember?” he reminded me. “You do good here. Far better good than I can do out there.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do.” Rob rocked me with him, back and forth. He closed his eyes and whispered his words against my hair. “What I know is that I want you. It’s constant now. I want you, want you, want you. Like a drumbeat. I can’t help it. I can’t stop it. That would be like stabbing myself in the heart.”
“I know.”
“Wantyouwantyouwantyou.” His mouth right against my ear.
“Do you always get what you want?”
“No.” He kissed my earlobe. “But that doesn’t stop me from going after it.”
“I wish I was that brave.”
“You are.”
I knew I wasn’t. But there was one thing he had to know.
“I want you too,” I said.
“I know.” His arms tightened, and I leaned into him, closing my eyes and shutting out the rest of the world.
“I just wish I knew what to do,” I whispered against his chest.
“You’ve still got…” Rob looked at his watch. “Half an hour.”
“Gee thanks.” I smiled, lifting my head to meet his eyes.
“But if you can’t make up your mind, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are,” I countered. “You’ll be on the bus to Chicago.”
“No, I’ll be right here.” He poked his finger between my breasts, pointing at my heart. “I mean it, Sabrina. I’m yours any time you want me. Just say the word.”
“What word is that?”
“Actually, there are three of them. Three short little words.”
I shook my head. “Rob, that’s crazy… I can’t...”
“Even Practical Sabrina said she couldn’t discount the existence of God or even aliens because she couldn’t prove otherwise. So why shouldn’t love at first sight get the same treatment?”
“I know, but…”
He kissed me then and I closed my eyes and floated away. His kisses did that to me. They transported me to a timeless place where only he and I existed.
“Even if we never see each other again, we had one perfect day,” I murmured against his lips. “I’ll always remember it.”
“Me too.” He let me go, reaching for my hand as we walked out of the classroom.
“We’ll always have Thai food,” I said, turning out the light and shutting the door behind me. “And the DIA.”
“Puppet shows,” he added.
“Crazy fans in Leo’s.”
“Sword fighting with skewers.”
“It was a good day.” I squeezed his hand as we walked back to the car.
“The perfect day.”
How could you top perfection?
~*~
When we arrived at the hotel where the rest of the band had stayed, I spotted Katie with her arms around Tyler’s neck, their lips locked as she pressed him against the side of the tour bus. It was parked in the back lot, but some fans obviously had inside information because there were half a dozen girls waiting for autographs—and whatever else they could get their hands on. Most likely, Rob Burns. They all looked very expectant and hopeful and they were all ignoring Katie and Tyler’s overtly public display of affection.
“They’re going to be all over you.” I sighed, pulling the Kia around to the other side of the bus, giving us a few moments reprieve.
“It’ll be okay.” He touched my hair, stroking gently. “It’ll be over in minutes, I promise.”
And he was right. He signed autographs on notepads, CDs, tour programs, even signed his likeness on one girl’s upper arm with a Sharpie, which she swore she was going straight to the tattoo parlor to make permanent. It was a whirlwind of laughter, talking, kisses and photographs, but when it was over, the girls left the same way they had come, in a tight, giggling circle, making their way back to the front of the hotel.
“I thought I saw you!” Tyler peeked his head around the back of the tour bus. “Sorry about the ambush. We kept shooing them away, but they’d just come back again. Like damned mosquitoes.”
“It’s all right.” Rob shrugged, pulling the backpack he’d bought at the thrift shop off his shoulder. “Toss this in back? I need to say goodbye to Sabrina.”
“Katie’s here,” Tyler said to me, coming over to get Rob’s bag. “Bet you two have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Looks like it.” I pointed to his neck. “Is that lipstick or a hickey?”
“Probably both.” He grinned.
“Here.” Rob handed over his bag. “See ya inside.”
