by D. Kelly
Cassidy has been going to therapy twice a week since we moved here. Recently, I’ve been going with her. She’s made excellent progress and her therapist thinks within a few months of the baby coming, barring any post-partum depression, she can cut back her sessions to once a month or even just as needed. Since the wedding, Cassidy has been a completely different woman, so much more self-confident. I’m sure it comes from a lot of things but whatever facilitated the change, I’m grateful.
When her mom started sending letters, I thought it would break her down again but it didn’t; she’s remained strong. Deidre has been in rehab for five months and is making excellent progress. She wants to see Cassidy.
“I have, but I still haven’t decided. I try so hard not to harbor any hate in my heart but she should have protected me, Zack. How can I forgive her for not protecting me?”
“I don’t know, babe, maybe you don’t. Maybe you just listen to what she has to say and decide after that. But not while you’re pregnant, that kind of stress isn’t good for you or the baby.”
“Agreed,” she states thoughtfully. “Can you believe in just two short months our baby girl is going to be here?” Happiness shines in her eyes now instead of fear. Cassidy is going to be a great mom.
“I can’t wait to meet her and get started on making her some brothers and sisters.”
She leans her head against my shoulder and yawns.
“Brothers and sisters can wait a while, at least until she’s out of diapers. I’m not going to be one of those women who have kids eleven months apart. Birth control is going to be my new best friend. Especially now with your new fascination with Post-it sex,” she replies with a smirk.
“Post-it sex is the absolute best. Admit it, every time you read a romance novel, you picture me doing to you what is in that scene instead of you picturing the characters in that scene.”
Her answering blush is priceless.
“Uh-huh, that’s what I thought. It’s a good thing there’s a lot of mommy porn out there and I’ve got an unlimited budget to fund it for us.”
“So you’re admitting you like romance now?”
“Not at all. I’m admitting I like freaky Post-it sex.”
“You’re such a perve,” she says as she leans up to kiss me.
“Maybe, but I’m your perve exclusively.”
“Damn straight you are,” she answers with a lingering kiss.
Things for Cassidy and I couldn’t have worked out any better. We’re happy, in love, and having a baby. I’ve always been a believer in moments—the ones that take your breath away and leave love in their place. I knew when I was eight I would marry her someday. But what I never realized was how those moments seal your fate. Our moment has become a lifetime and someday soon, I’ll be able to explain to Bailey how those moments work. I can’t wait.
Keep reading for a sneak peek of Sharing Rylee
I can’t even believe Chasing Cassidy is the fifth book I’ve been blessed enough to hit publish on. I’m going to keep this short and sweet, I promise.
First and foremost, I need to thank my family. The last year of our lives has been difficult but you have all stood by me through it all and we are so much stronger for it now. Thank you for putting up with my forgetfulness and my random freak outs. I love you guys!
Ashley, my P.A. extraordinaire, saves my ass on a daily basis. You are a huge blessing in my life not only because you’re an amazing P.A. but because you are an amazing friend. Come on daily Shemar? Fucking brilliant!
D’s Divine Divas, I’m not even sure what to say to you guys except #TeamZack! Seriously, you guys are the best. Most of you have been with me since before my first book ever came out. I love you guys more than words and can’t wait to meet some of you in Vegas next year. We’re going to have a pickle pimping, tequila drinking, sombrero wearing, Happy Birthday singing good time. I forget… who’s bringing the bail money again????
Tiffany Fox, we did it again! Number five down and more to come. Thank you for being awesome and inserting all the punctuation I’m absolutely clueless about!
Murphy Rae, this is our first cover together and it’s freaking awesome! I’m so happy we were able to work together and make this happen. Thank you so much for creating this vision to represent my words. I hope we get to work together more soon!
All the bloggers out there, you are too numerous to name, but I love you all. Blogging is not an easy thing to do and you all do it so well. I’m so happy to have gotten to know so many of you and extremely fortunate I get to call some of you friends. Thank you for taking so much time to spread the word about books. The Indie world thrives because of you guys.
To all my readers, thank you. If I didn’t have you guys there wouldn’t be a fifth book to publish. Thank you for taking a leap of faith with me and reading my stories. Without you guys, my books are just words on paper. You are what brings them to life. I love you guys.
About the Author
I'm a wife, a mom, and a dog lover. I'm also a taxi, problem fixer, extreme multi-tasker, and my kids’ biggest fan in anything they do. I’m married to my high school sweetheart... how cool is that? Margaritas and sarcasm make me happy. Chocolate makes that happiness grow exponentially. People who make me laugh are my favorite kind of people. I believe Karma is a bitch who slaps back hard and mean people suck. I'm California born and raised, and I love the beach but hate the sand. And, of course, I believe Starbucks makes any day better. I’m the author of The Acceptance Series and Chasing Cassidy with more books soon to come.
FACEBOOK – TWITTER – WEBSITE
Keep reading for a sneak peek of Sharing Rylee
I’ve never been more grateful for the company jet and my dad’s offer to let me use it as I am right now. The past few days have been nice and I’m thrilled to see Zack and Cassidy happily married. But the real world awaits and I’ve got a business to run—one I’ve severely neglected the past few days. Unfortunately, there’s only so much my assistant can handle via text message and email.
Cassidy sent me a picture this morning—a selfie of her and Zack practically hanging off the bed. I’m not sure what they’ve been doing for the past day and a half but there were Post-its of all different colors all over their bedroom floor. They looked blissfully happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for them.
I’ve got three hours left of this flight, my computer is on, and my email is full but I’m completely distracted. When I left Pete’s arms this morning, it was with a very heavy heart. We agreed, for now, it’s best to just remain friends and see where this road leads us.
Unfortunately, right now it’s leading me home to where Nick is not so patiently waiting to talk to me, if his twelve text messages are any indication. If someone would have asked me two weeks ago if I could see myself with Nick for the rest of my life my answer would have been yes. And then I met Pete and he threw my world into a tailspin. After less than a week with Pete, he reminded me of something I forgot long ago. I should never settle for less than I want or deserve.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve known Nick since we were babies and we’ve been friends for so long but compared to Pete, he just seems immature. It didn’t bother me before, except he wasn’t man enough to talk to my brother about us. Instead, he was content to sit back and enjoy his one night stand harem.
When Pete told Zack he promised he wouldn’t hurt me—but he never promised he wouldn’t make me scream—that moment was my moment. The moment that locked my feelings in place for him. It also was the moment I realized a man I just met was willing to risk his friendship with my brother so he could put his feelings for me on the table. Something—after five years of randomly sleeping in my bed and having hot and heavy makeout sessions—Nick still wasn’t man enough to do.
So now I’m sitting here, thinking about Zack and his moment theory. I had my moment with Pete this week but I also had my moment with Nick many years ago. I wonder if it’s more like Cassidy said and some people get more than o
ne true love. Was Nick my childhood love and Pete my forever love? Or could it possibly mean…? No, I won’t let my thoughts go there, I won’t let myself dream of a future I can never have.
Most likely, it’s all just a bunch of bullshit and there’s no such thing as moments. It really shouldn’t matter to me, anyway. It’s going to take me months to sell my house, finish up my projects, relocate my business, and buy a new house in Hawaii. Especially since I’m determined to buy something close to Zack and Cassidy and right now, there is nothing on Sunset Beach for sale. I’m willing to pay double the property value of anything I can get, but now it’s going to involve convincing someone they really want to sell.
The minutes tick by slowly as the moment thing keeps nagging at me. Cassidy has always worried about me because I never use the word ‘love’ when it comes to men. For years, I’ve kept my biggest secret close to my heart. When Cassidy finally told me hers, I wanted to break down and tell her mine but she wouldn’t understand. Not many people do. And even if they did, it would never be okay for a Stafford. My mom was so worried about Cassidy’s past… if she only knew her daughter’s proclivities. Meeting Pete this week has pushed me to be honest with myself for once. That man will answer any question you throw at him. If only I could have asked him the ones that matter to me.
Could I be happy with Pete? Without a doubt.
Could I be happy with Nick? Absolutely.
But what would really make me happy—happier than I’ve ever been—would be to have them both.
Fucking hell, I’m crying again.
No one gets it and they never would. It’s too taboo. Even the most open-minded people shut it down.
The amount of money I’ve spent traveling to places and changing my appearance so no one recognizes me has been well worth it. To be around people who understand the way I feel and can’t act out their deepest desires in their day to day lives, either, is worth every single penny I’ve ever spent. Spending time with two men in my bed—shopping, dining, just doing everyday things—is the most complete I’ve ever felt. It’s what makes me feel whole.
Pete made it very clear he doesn’t share and Nick is all for a threesome with a woman, but I’m sure he’d never be up for it with a man. So I’m back to square one. No Nick. No Pete. No love.
I refuse to have a relationship that won’t make me happy. So if I have to remain single and childless, so be it. I’ll spoil my nieces and nephews as if they were my own. I’d rather have a few blissful weeks a year and continue hiding my secret than to live a bigger lie day in and day out in a loveless marriage.
Keep reading for a sneak peek of Breaking Kate, available now.
Chapter 1 - Michael
Las Vegas, also known as Sin City, is my current job location for the next few days. How could anyone not love a city whose entire motto is ‘what happens here, stays here’? I’m staying at the MGM Grand this time around. When I come with the guys they like to stay at the newest hotels, but I like the MGM. It’s not that old, and you just can’t beat a hotel where there’s a bartender who not only knows your name, but also remembers your drink order no matter how long it’s been since your last visit.
I checked in late last night after work and crashed as soon as I got here. Today is Friday and I don’t have to be back at the site until tomorrow. I spent most of the day at the pool relaxing. Vegas in January is usually freezing, but today it was actually hovering around seventy-three, and that was nice enough for me to babe watch from a pool side cabana. I need a new distraction—someone who can keep my mind off of Katherine.
It’s been almost four years, but lately I’ve been thinking about her daily. Hell, I have always thought about her daily, but now she haunts my mind every waking second of the day. I wish I was lucky enough to avoid her in my sleep, but it’s even worse then. My dreams are filled with visions of her laughing and of us making love; those dreams are the best because I can actually feel the emotion in them. Before the dream ends, it is always the same—the dream morphs into the day we broke up, the day I left her shattered in pieces, then all that happiness evaporates into a gut-searing pain. I wake up in a cold fucking sweat Every. Single. Night. Lately, the dreams are getting even more vivid and they seem to last a lot longer. I wonder how many times I can relive seeing the heartbreak in her eyes and feel the pain crushing through my soul.
It really doesn’t help that tomorrow is her birthday, but that’s why I volunteered to come out here this weekend—so that I would be sure to stay far away from Los Angeles. I know, without a doubt, if I had stayed home I would’ve gone to Connor’s party and gotten drunk. Anytime an emotional anniversary comes up it seems like Connor is having a party that weekend. As much as I tell myself I won’t drink, I always do, to the point of oblivion. Well, up until six months ago that is. Up until I fucked Vanessa right under Daniel’s nose. To be fair, I would’ve never been with her on a good day sober or drunk. She’s a grade A bitch, and I still wonder if she didn’t slip something in my drink that night because even drunk, I have never not known who I was fucking.
The best thing that came out of that night was Daniel finally breaking up with her. It killed us all to see how much she continually used him for his money. I get that she comes from trailer trash, drug addict parents who are barely conscious of what day it is, but she didn’t have to be vindictive and act like life owes her something. I grew up privileged, but I left it all behind and built myself up from the bottom after Katherine and I broke up. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me and helped me grow into the man I was meant to be.
I need this weekend to be all about pleasure, my pleasure. Hopefully that will keep Katherine Moore out of my head once and for all. I’m looking forward to just losing myself in someone. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s pleasing women in bed, but in order to do that I need to find the right kind of girl. I don’t want a girl that’s going to want to latch on, or one that wants to exchange phone numbers. Hell, I’m perfectly fine with not even knowing her name because half the time I don’t remember it anyway. It always amazes me how gullible some women are. They are so easily excited when you call them by an endearing name. They have no clue I call them sweetie, sweetheart, baby, honey, sunshine, precious, beautiful or darling because I have forgotten their names. The goal for tonight is to find a hot girl with a nice ass and a great rack that I can bend over and fuck the living daylights out of. I prefer one I can tie to my bed so I can have complete control. It’s not like I have a fetish or anything, I just really don’t like to be caressed and touched a lot. I don’t like or want intimacy with my sex, not since Katherine. I just want to take them hard and rough. Believe it or not, girls love it. I’m great at giving multiple orgasms which is a skill I have developed over time. That’s another thing I regret about Katherine, I never tried to give her multiples. That’s something I would’ve loved to watch. Even after all this time I have never seen anyone come the way she did, it was exquisite. Just thinking about it now, years later, still makes me hard. Damn it. I need to get drunk fast so I can push her to the back of my mind; I’m so tired of thinking about her.
When the elevator doors open, my mood lightens up. I love casinos. Even the overwhelming smell of smoke is okay because it’s all part of the atmosphere. Vegas is truly the place where no one gives a fuck what anyone does, how they dress, or how they act. If you aren’t walking around drunk, you’re not doing Vegas right. Already there are girls eyeing me up—I know they think I’m hot and tonight I play it up to my advantage. It’s not like I’m even slightly conceited, but I’ve been asked many times if I’m a long lost Hemsworth brother and I know girls think they’re hot.
Tonight I’m wearing a very tight black t-shirt that grips all of my muscles, a comfortable pair of blue jeans, and my black Dr. Martens. The tattoos on my arms are visible and my hair is styled with just a little bit of gel in that way girls tell me is ’just so hot’. Personally,
I don’t really care how my hair looks—I’m more than happy to just buzz it off—but the one time I did, I seriously lacked in hookups for two months while it grew back. Who would have thought a guy’s hair would make that much of a difference to girls?
I take a seat at my favorite bar and throw some money in the video poker machine while waiting for the bartender to make his way down here. I love this place; by the time Dave comes down he’s already got my drink in his hand. “Hey, Mike. How’s it going, man? I got your gin and tonic, Bombay Sapphire with limes of course.”
I take the drink and shake his hand. “Thanks, Dave. It’s been a while, how’ve you been?”
“I’ve been good, thanks. It’s great to see you again. By the way, I’m placing my bet now. Judging by your appearance tonight, I give it forty-five minutes before you’re on your way back up with a beautiful girl, so I’m going to keep your drinks coming. I know you like a good buzz before leaving the bar.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “Ah, the all-knowing bartender has placed his bets. You know I’d hate to disappoint you, so how about you pour me a double shot now so I can step up my game.”
Dave gives me a knowing look and pours the shot. “Okay, man, you’re all set. You’re already getting an audience behind you. If I were you, I would hit the girl in red—she’s a regular and used to the no strings thing. You got condoms this time or do you need me to hit the bar stash again?”
Man, he really doesn’t forget a thing. “Nah, man, I’m good. I brought some this time. Last time, the airport lost my luggage and my condoms along with it; just another reason why I would rather drive.”
“I hear you, just nod at me if you need another. I gotta get back to the other end of the bar.”
