“Fuck, I know. I saw all the signs, and I got her the help she needed. I thought if I kept a tight leash on her, she’d be okay,” Kyle said wish a wistful expression.
“You did your best, man. You need to let it go. There was nothing you could have done more than you were doing. She fell apart. She just couldn’t take life any longer.”
“I know. Look, I’ve been back out there dating.”
“You’ve been playing vanilla, and you know it. You’ve been fucking nurses and receptionists and coffee shop employees. You have not been back out there at all, my friend.”
“I know, I know. But fuck. Now you’re turning this into a pity party lunch after all,” Kyle said, laughing.
“Change of topic, then. How’s little Joel doing?”
“Little. The boy tells me he’s not a little boy anymore. He’s six years old now and a pain in the ass, but I love him to death. He’s been bugging me all week with ‘When is Uncle Caleb coming over?’”
“He only just saw me last week.”
“I know, but you know how he has a soft spot for you. Hell knows why he likes you so much.”
“Because I’m just loveable.”
“Yeah, right.”
Caleb ate his sandwich, lost in thought. How was he going to get Kyle to be free again? He’d been trapped, punishing himself for his wife’s death for too goddamn long. Everyone saw she’d lost herself. Kyle had believed that with medication, therapy, and living the lifestyle, which was where they had met, that he could keep her managed and safe until she came back to him from the place in her head where she was trapped. Postpartum depression had pushed Kelly farther down a hole she couldn’t get out of. After battling for two years, she’d finally taken her own life, incapable of coping anymore. Kyle stood through it all with her. He was there even when she went wild and had affair after affair. He stood by her, trying to hold her together until she couldn’t take it anymore.
Maybe he should force him to come to the club. He knew quite a few subs that would love to dust the cobwebs off Kyle’s flogger. Hopefully he could finally let go of all his fears and maybe have a great time doing it. Vanilla women would never do it for him. He knew Kyle needed BDSM just as much as he did. Kyle was nowhere near the sadist he was, although he was pretty close sometimes. He’d seen him in action at the club on numerous occasions in the old days. And he’d learned a few tricks from him that he still used today.
The rest of the week disappeared just like any other, with him working too many hours a day then coming home to a takeout meal and collapsing on his bed. A few hours’ sleep and then he started it all over again. He was just going through the motions while waiting for the weekend so he could go to the club for some release. He needed something more, something different. Maybe he was going through a midlife crisis. Maybe he was bored. He should get a hobby in the little free time he had. Maybe he should take a break and have a holiday. Fuck, he didn’t know what he needed, but this couldn’t be all there was to life. There had to be more.
Kyle sat at the dining table, watching his son eat his puffed wheat. Mornings were normally a time of running around and running late. But this morning he had time to sit quietly and contemplate his son. The unusual occurrence this morning was mainly due to him waking at 3:00 a.m. and not being able to get back to sleep. As much as he loved his son and loved being a father, life was taking its toll. He’d like to say he was a faithful, loving widower and that he still mourned the death of the love of his life. He didn’t want anyone to know the truth, but he was actually thankful. Deep down in his heart, he was glad it was over. Yes, he felt bad for Joel not having a mother now. But it was better to grieve for what he couldn’t have rather than him suffering further with the mother he’d had. Kyle felt like the worst kind of bastard. Everyone felt sorry for him because they thought he grieved for his soul mate, when in fact he didn’t grieve for her. He was glad she was gone and they were finally free. What kind of a prick thanked god his wife was dead? What would everyone think of him if they knew he’d tried to commit her the year before her death?
He knew they pitied him when she began cheating on him. Hell, he was glad he didn’t have to keep her in his bed any longer. He had to be fair to her, though. He did love her once, in the beginning of their relationship. But after a few years, her sickness became worse and they had grown apart. She’d known he was going to leave her, and so she had gotten pregnant to keep him with her and to force him to marry her. She’d never wanted children, she’d just wanted him. They had married at town hall with two witnesses. He didn’t want a grand affair because in his heart he knew it was the wrong thing to do, and besides, she was six months pregnant by that point. He’d heard rumors, and so he’d demanded a paternity test. After discovering the risk of miscarriage with the test, he ceased his demands until after the baby was born. Her first great act of motherhood was to say it didn’t matter and to have the test, even though there was a risk to the unborn child. He agreed to marry her without it. He knew it sounded cold and heartless, but by that point their relationship was in dire straits. He knew she’d set out to trap him, and he loathed the fact.
“So, Dad, Jimmy told me about the cookies his mom is going to bake for the bake sale next week. She’s going to make chocolate chip. Mrs. Bird said that I didn’t have to bring any, but, well…I…” Joel said with a hopeful look on his face.
“Don’t worry, Joel, we’ll make something for the bake sale.” If he couldn’t figure it out, he would buy something and make it look like he made it.
“Jimmy said I should get a new mom,” Joel said around a mouth full of breakfast cereal.
Fuck, this Jimmy kid just made his life that little bit more difficult. “Buddy, you know it’s not like you can just go out and buy a new mom.” Well, not in the vanilla world anyway. But in the lifestyle he could easily buy a slave for a contract period. Although he would never allow Joel to become attached to someone and then have her leave at the end of the contract term.
“I know, Dad. Jimmy said you have to date her and then she’d become my new mom. Why don’t you date, Dad?”
“Bud, I’m just too busy at the hospital to date. Besides, I like it being just us guys.”
He watched as Joel looked down toward his cereal bowl and stirred his spoon in the soggy mixture.
“You’re fine with it being just the two of us, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.”
That so didn’t sound like an enthusiastic, happy child. How had he missed it? So lost in his own problems he hadn’t seen the loneliness his son was suffering.
“You want a mom.”
“Yeah.”
He stood and walked behind his son’s chair and pulled him up into his arms and gave him a hug.
“I’m sorry, bud.”
“It’s okay. I have you.”
“You sure do, forever and ever.” Holding his son in his arms, he wished he could magically find him a mother. Hell, he’d love to have a wife again. If he could find someone who would love Joel as much as her own child, then his life would be complete. Could he sacrifice his owns needs for those of his son?
He’d tried giving up the lifestyle and looking for a vanilla woman who he could live the rest of his life with. Could he remain faithful to her, knowing he needed that release? Could he hide his desires and needs? He’d never have sex with anyone else. But could he live the rest of his life without ever handling a whip, paddle, or crop? His very soul screamed. Why can’t I have them both? Why not a wife who likes to be spanked?
“Come on, bud, let’s get you ready for school. Your ride is coming soon.”
As he walked out the door, his bag in hand, and watched his son getting into the car pool vehicle, he looked at Jimmy’s mom Sandra and wondered. Maybe it was time he looked again. Maybe it was time to seriously try to find a partner. He knew he had to exorcise his demons before he tried to enter another relationship. He needed to clear out all the crap. He needed a fresh start, a new beginning. He nee
ded to face his past to be able to look to the future. The only way to do that was to go to the club. He needed to come out of retirement or out of mourning, whatever.
Chapter Four
“Petra, my dear, this is your last chance to back out of the auction. I really don’t want to advertise you and then have to call it back. If you back out after the auction, you know most of the Dom members of the club won’t take a second look at you in the future. So I’d rather you do it now if you are in any way unsure of your offer,” Craig said.
The concern in his eyes warmed her heart and also annoyed her. She knew he was just looking out for her. But still, did he think she was some stupid newbie who had no idea what she was doing? She was no greenhorn.
“I know, Master Craig. Put me in. I won’t change my mind,” she replied politely but also with a strength of conviction.
“Petra, you need to think about this. What you’re offering is very serious play. This isn’t an erotic spanking you’re offering.”
“Master Craig, do you have a problem with me?” she said, gritting her teeth trying to hold on to her anger.
“Beg your pardon?” he replied with a puzzled expression.
“Do you have a problem with me?” she repeated. “Do I look incapable of making my own decisions?” His doubt in her abilities inflamed her more. “You of all people know what I do for a living. You know what I write. I’m very aware of what I’m offering.” Her anger was boiling over.
“Has it been so long since you served in my house, Slave P, that you have forgotten? You do not speak to a Master with that tone,” he replied with the rich depth of his dominant nature.
“I’m sorry, Master,” she conceded and submitted.
“You are forgiven. I haven’t given you the opportunity to find what you desire, have I? I’ll leave the offer as is. I sincerely hope for your sake you’re prepared for what you are offering.” He then turned back to the papers at his desk, dismissing her. She wouldn’t get a polite good-bye. She had pushed him too far.
“Nothing can prepare me for it. We both know that. Thank you for your concern and for agreeing to auction my offer.” Her statement must have melted a small amount of the glacier that was surrounding his heart.
“Petra, you know I’m fond of you and that may be clouding my judgment where you’re concerned. I just want to make sure you’re taken care of,” he said, looking up at her with concern still mirrored in his eyes.
“It’s my wish that this will help me attain my dreams. I’ll see you on auction night,” she said as she rose with the grace he had taught her in her time as his slave and left his office.
After he’d received her e-mail he had demanded to see her in person. She understood why, and she loved him for caring enough to push her. But she also knew he was caging her with his preconceived notions about what she wanted. He wasn’t letting her be the true submissive she was. Everyone was so concerned she would be hurt. What none of them were aware of was that she had a high pain tolerance. She was as capable of enduring a whipping as most subs handled the paddle. It was a shame there was no plastic surgery to turn a petite body into one of an amazon. Much like people born into the body of the wrong sex, she was born into the wrong size body. How many other petite people felt that way? She’d bet a hell of a lot.
As Caleb went through his normal morning routine of reading his e-mails and checking his schedule before his busy day began, he nearly spat coffee all over his desk as he scrolled through the e-mail from Locks and Chains and the attached e-brochure for the upcoming charity fantasy auction. Of course the normal ménage, spanking, twins, bisexual, and so on experiences didn’t surprise him. The role playing and light BDSM play were typical also. What wasn’t typical was the offering placed by Submissive Petra. He couldn’t believe the exotic little Petra would possibly be serious. She was no trainee sub, so he knew she was fully aware of what she was getting herself into. At least he hoped so. He needed to make sure. He grabbed his cell, hitting his favorites. He had a right to talk to Craig about this. Caleb worked in the club as the resident doctor when he could, and many times he’d helped members with various issues. Having a doctor that was lifestyle-aware and, even better, also a fellow member provided the privacy and understanding that a normal doctor could not guarantee. He’d researched and helped make advancements in lifestyle-based medical care, and let’s say, given some interesting help to those with medical fetishes.
“Hello, Caleb, friendly or business?” Craig enquired with little prelude. Both he and Craig were busy men, and both understood they didn’t have time for the niceties.
“Both. I received your e-brochure about the auction and…”
“Let me guess. You wanted to know more information about Submissive Petra.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because one, I know you, and two, this would be the third call I’ve received this morning about her fantasy.”
“Who else called?”
“Caleb, you know everyone values their privacy.”
“Craig, do you really want to go there?” He knew Craig was stringing him along, but he needed to get to the bottom of this.
“Fine, Master Greg and Master Sam.”
“What! Master Greg?” Did Petra know what the hell she was doing? Master Greg was renowned for taking scenes too far. He lived on the edge of acceptability, and if any of his subs complained, Master Greg would be evicted and his name spread throughout the community. He was relentless and vicious. Not only did he like to cause his subs physical pain, he liked to cause them emotional pain as well. He tortured both their minds and their bodies.
“Yeah, well, there’s not much I can do. I tried to talk her out of it, but as a friend. She’s an ex contract slave and member of my club for four years. I can’t be unbiased with her.”
“She was a contract slave?”
“Yes, I believe she had three separate contracts. The last one was about two or so years ago. She was bought all three times at auction for six-month contracts. She was asked all three times for additional contracts but she declined. She wants love and forever. ”
“I don’t remember seeing her. How could I have missed that?”
“You don’t gravitate in the same circles. Besides it was during the time of Kyle’s wife’s downward spiral and subsequent death.”
Caleb remembered that time. He’d devoted himself to helping Kyle get his life back together and going to the club was the last thing he felt like doing. He’d seen Petra around the club many times over the years, and she was beautiful, but she looked too delicate and fragile for his usual preference.
“Given your history with her, is she serious?”
“Absolutely! I’m man enough to admit it scares the shit out of me. I’m worried she’ll be hurt. However…”
Caleb swore he could hear the gears shifting and clicking inside Craig’s brain through the phone.
“If you were to buy her, I wouldn’t be concerned about her safety.”
“It’s an auction Craig. It can’t be rigged.”
“No, but if I go halves with you in the purchase price, we can guarantee that you’ll be the highest bidder.”
“Why go to so much effort?” He wondered if Craig had a thing for this girl. If he did, why wasn’t he bidding on her himself? More importantly, why did he care if Craig wanted her? If he’d been in any way interested in Petra, wouldn’t he have chosen to play with her before now? It wasn’t like he didn’t know she existed. Maybe he’d never really seen the true sub she was, though.
“Petra holds a place in my heart, and I don’t want to see her destroyed. She’s like a little sister to me.”
Ah! So Petra had gotten into his heart, just not in a romantic sense. Hold on, she’d been a slave to him for six months, how could he see her as a little sister? Actually he didn’t really want to look into that too much. It might affect his relationship with Craig.
“Let me think about it, okay?”
“Don’t thi
nk too long, my friend. After Master Greg’s interest today and him telling me he would be buying her, I had to take matters in hand. I’m about to offer her to somebody else as well as you today. I want her bought by someone I trust.”
“Who’s the other one?” Strangely he felt jealous, as though Craig should trust no one but him with the purchase of Petra.
“That I will not tell you.”
“Fine, I’ll get back to you by two o’clock today.”
“Excellent.”
Clicking the end button on his cell phone, he was lost in thought. Not about Petra or the offer, but of who the other sadist was. Who would get to deliver the ultimate sadist’s wet dream? He should ring Craig back and tell him he’d do it. But something held him back. Something told him he shouldn’t rush into this decision. The beast within him screamed that he was an idiot and he should claim his prize. Forcing himself to drop his phone back in his coat pocket, he walked out of his office and began rounds. He was late now, and his interns would be chomping at the bit to get started.
Kyle blinked at the display on his cell phone. The caller ID clearly displayed the Locks and Chains club. Why on earth would he be getting a call from the club?
“Hello?”
“Kyle, long time no hear.”
“Craig, how the hell are you, man?”
How many years had it been since he’d played at the club? Hell, were all the guys still there for that matter? From what Caleb had said, some were now married. Time really did fly.
“Good, good. Look, I know you’re a busy man, so I’ll make this quick. I’m in a bit of a bind, and I’m hoping you might be able to help me out.”
“What can I do for you?”
“Well, you see we’re having a charity fantasy auction at the club in a couple of days. All monies raised go toward a new safe house for the women’s shelter. Submissives are auctioning their greatest fantasy to be played out on that night.”
“Okay, how do you need my help?”
Punishing Petra [Locks and Chains 3] Page 3
