“We’ve upgraded from whips and chains and have now moved on to the Toy Shop?” Quinn asked, raking his fingers through his hair as Jessica led us to the Wonderland room Grant had closed off for the day for our second fantasy.
From the tense set of his shoulders, I could tell that Grant had gotten this fantasy wrong. This was supposed to be Quinn’s fantasy—one that Grant had pulled out of the answers on the in-depth personality tests that I’d filled out without him knowing.
Great, now I didn’t even know what he wanted, what he liked, or clearly, how he’d answer those questions.
You can be a real bitch sometimes, I scolded myself internally, regretting pretty much every step I’d taken since I decided to fudge our experience here. But it had been my only sense of control when I panicked after seeing him at the lawyer’s office.
Shoving the negative thoughts deep down where even I couldn’t dig them up, I listened as Jessica explained the rules and safety buttons and the risqué level of the suite.
Funny, but it was all becoming pretty standard to me by now, and yet, I still hadn’t had sex once in this adult fantasy resort. I sucked in a deep breath, hoping today would be that day. It felt like if we could lose our minds with each other for just one moment—letting all the other stuff slip away until there was only him and me—then maybe, I could prove to him that we belonged together.
“Any questions?” Jessica asked, her arms neatly folded in front of her.
I looked to Quinn, whose blue-gray eyes didn’t even seem like he’d heard Jessica say a word. He was somewhere else, and a heavy weight sat on my chest when I realized I didn’t have a clue where he’d gone.
“No, I think we’re good,” I said, with as much enthusiasm as when I’d had to take Blaire to the dentist when she was a toddler. The memory of her telling the dentist that he didn’t need to check her because she was a superhero and her power was perfect teeth filled my mind, and a sweep of sadness and pride and love rushed over me. No matter where I was, or how I worried about where I stood with Quinn, I knew she was worth every single second of my devotion—as well as his—from birth and beyond.
I glanced at Quinn as he held the door open for me, and tears made the edges of his face glisten.
“Honey?” His voice was soft as he shut the door. “What is it?” He cupped my cheek, not even sparing a look at the Wonderland room we’d entered that was chock-full of toys.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes, reigning in my tears. “Was thinking of Blaire.”
He smiled. “She said she wasn’t traumatized. She barely saw anything beyond the pocket of my jeans. It’s all right.”
I waved him off. “No, not that.” Though I was beyond relieved she hadn’t witnessed me taking a whip to her father. “Just memories. They hit me sometimes and all at once I wonder how the time went by so fast even though at times it felt like it’d never pass.” I placed my hand over the center of his chest, wishing I could talk as openly to him as I did our daughter, or as easy as it was to talk about her. “Have I ever thanked you for giving her to me?”
He squinted as if he was trying to sharpen his gaze to see who stood before him. Pulling me to him, he encased me in his strong arms, fingering my hair. “Me? It was you. You gave me the best gift possible. One I never knew I needed so badly until you brought her into this world.”
I clung to him, knowing this was my moment. I could feel it in the air, the openness, the accessibility…all I had to do was keep talking. The image of him stomping into the lawyer’s office is what choked the words from me.
“This is heavy for a room like this, huh?” I asked, trying to laugh off the nerves twisting my stomach. My throat was threatening to close on itself with each thought of baring my heart to him, so I quickly shifted gears.
Quinn sighed and finally looked at our surroundings, his eyebrows rising. “You could say that.”
The room had a giant bed, along with what looked like…
“Is that a sex swing?” He took the words right out of my head.
“I think so,” I said, walking toward it with hesitation as if it might ensnare me in some way without my knowledge. The image of Quinn tied up and fully exposed to me made blood rush to my cheeks. I hadn’t known I would love that as much as I did, or how eager it would make me want to continue trying new things. “You want to…” I touched the plush, black fabric that surrounded the cords that were suspended from the ceiling.
His eyes widened, and he shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “Why not?” He finally said after some mental battle with himself.
A thrill rushed through me as I looked from him to the swing and back again. There were other, safer objects we could try, but I was more than ready to dive head first after all the misses we’d had lately. “How do we—”
“How ‘bout you let me kiss you, and we go from there?” He cocked an eyebrow at me and I chuckled nervously, tucking my hair behind my ear in an effort to hide the flush across my cheeks. Anxious butterflies filled my stomach as he stalked toward me, breaking the distance between us. With one strong pull of his arm, he brought me flush against him and kissed me until I was breathless and twenty degrees hotter.
I sighed between his lips, stroking his tongue and relishing in the way he could make my mind quiet with just a kiss. This is what I needed. This is what I craved.
Quiet. Sensation. Heat—the only thing that had the capability of killing the ice-cold worry that had taken up permanent residence in my heart these last few months.
“Tara,” he whispered against my lips as he pulled my shirt over my head. Today I’d chosen a lime green lace bra and thong set, and his reaction was more than worth the price I’d paid for it.
I moaned as he tongued my nipple over the fabric, teasing me until I fisted his hair. Shoving him back, I let my pants fall around my ankles and stepped out of them, watching as he shed himself of his clothes in an agonizingly slow manner.
He dropped to his knees, cupping my ass as he left a trail of hot kisses across my belly, down my thighs, and over my center as he slowly freed me of my thong.
Another warm chill made me tremble as he barely swiped his tongue over my bare center, which was rapidly heating and aching for him. The nerves were there, flaring right alongside my undiluted want, but I couldn’t stop either of them—we hadn’t gotten this far the whole trip—and I wanted this so badly I could taste it.
I barely had a chance to gasp before Quinn had hefted me against him, cradling me against his chest as he maneuvered me to the center of the swing. He gently sat me in the dominant strap in the middle. With a furrowed brow, he took care in studying each cord, each hold, while he placed my feet in the two allotted holds, and then guided my hands up to the bar that connected just above my head.
The position left me open and completely vulnerable to whatever he wanted to do to me, and it was a rush to be that exposed.
Quinn’s eyes lingered over every inch of my body, taking his time to look and smirk, and lick those lips that I wanted on me. He stepped between my legs, his briefs still covering what I could see was rock hard, and gripped my hips. Slowly, he rocked me back and forth, and I squealed from the freedom of the movement.
The straps supported me and were comfortable, but allowed more motion than a bed would ever provide. I arched my head backward, holding onto the bar while giving Quinn complete control over the movement of my body. And he took it.
My skin tingled everywhere his tongue touched and teased, up and down my body until I felt like one giant electric spark. He bent at the knees, sinking down only to propel upward as he swung me back and forth, moving me in the perfect rhythm to feel his hard cock press against me each time, only to pull away to torture me all over again. The fluidity in the motion was almost like being submerged in water, and yet I had leverage at every angle to move against him, too.
Still, I had to fight the urge to let go of the bar and grab hold of him for fear of falling.
“I’ve got you,” he said,
clearly seeing the tension in my eyes.
I nodded where he’d brought our foreheads together, teasing my lips with the tip of his tongue. I rolled my hips against him, using the support of the footholds to get a good long roll in, and he growled in response.
A warm shiver rose chills across my bare skin, and I sighed with need.
“Quinn,” I said, practically begging for him.
“Yes?”
“Please,” I moaned as he pressed his cock against me harder, the fabric from his briefs now soaked with me.
“Anything for you,” he said, wrapping his arms around my waist as he lowered his position.
The strap behind me slipped just a fraction, and I sank onto him as he was moving the opposite direction, our bodies meeting in a clash as he broke my fall, gripping me with both hands and preventing my legs from flying in completely different directions.
I yelped, but he hissed, his face contorting as he clenched his eyes shut.
“Quinn?” I asked, frantic as he grunted through the pain and brought me to the floor once I’d managed to wiggle out of the footholds. “What is it?” I scanned his body, searching for the source of his pain.
Once I was on the floor, he removed one arm from around me and instantly drew it around to his back, gripping the lower portion.
“My back,” he said, wincing, though I’d already gathered as much. “I moved one way, and this muscle moved the other.” He massaged the area, chuckling through the pain when he met my eyes. He shook his head. “I’m fucking sorry, honey.”
“Don’t be,” I said, soothing the pain lines on his face. “Should I call someone? Or do you think you can get dressed and make it back to the suite?”
“Don’t call anyone.” Each word was said through a huff of pain which made me think of defying his request, but he pushed through it. Typical.
After we were both dressed, I swung his arm over my shoulder and forced him to use me as some form of support as we limped all the way back to the suite. He ground his teeth the whole time and barely put any weight on me, but it at least made me feel like I’d done something.
Finally, we made it back to the room, and I laid him face down on the bed. Hurrying to the kitchen for ice and towels. Lifting his shirt once I’d returned, I felt around the area he’d been favoring, and the tightness of the muscle made me gasp.
“Maybe we should call someone.”
“I’m fine,” he said, but it was more of a grunt. “Thank you for the ice,” he continued, once I’d placed the cool pack on the area. He sighed, some of the tension leaving his muscles. “It’ll be fine after a while.”
“I hope so.” I held the ice in place, staring at his profile on the bed. I was still slick between my thighs, still aching for him to be inside me—it had happened that quickly.
So quick, in fact, I hadn’t had time to realize that we’d, once again, botched another fantasy. The disappointment sank into my chest, but it wasn’t as heavy this time, which I couldn’t tell if that was good or bad—if I had expected it or if the fact that we’d been so close to perfection before he’d gotten hurt had lessened the blow.
“Tara,” Quinn said, almost like an apology.
“I’m sorry you’re hurt,” I said before he could say anything else. “I didn’t want that to happen. Maybe we should’ve read an instruction manual or something?” I tried to laugh, but it came out more like a panicked attempt at changing the subject—which it was.
“I’ll be fine.” He reached behind him for my free hand, and I gave it to him. “You were spectacular in there. I want to go back.”
“You do?” I blurted out the question, shocked he’d want to try again after the first time had messed him up so much.
“Hell, yeah. Once my back lets me move without screaming.” He laughed but winced.
“I’ll grab you some pain relievers,” I said, leaving the icepack on his back and rushing to the bathroom. A quick glance in the mirror showed me something I hadn’t seen in a long time—not only the eager want in my eyes but hope.
He was acting completely Quinn-like, and there was no denying that he’d been enjoying himself up until the moments when we were either interrupted or injured. The notion almost made me laugh, but instead, I gripped the pill bottle in my hand, hoping that tomorrow would bring forth another opportunity, and this time…I’d open up and let him know the truth behind my distance.
For the first time since Grant had mentioned it, I prayed he was right—that I’d somehow been mistaken.
10
Quinn
“How’s the back?” Anderson asked me after I’d opened the door to our suite.
I instinctively touched the area I’d injured last night when we’d given the Wonder-swing a go. Shaking my head, I chuckled at myself for thinking I was capable of rocking the contraption without knowing a thing about it.
“Fine,” I said, grateful that when I’d woken up that morning it had only felt sore as opposed to the full-on injury I’d suspected it would be.
“Good to hear. I saw Tara downstairs a while ago, and I wanted to check and see if you needed anything.”
I rubbed my eyes. His knock on the door had woken me up from the after-breakfast nap I’d taken on accident when I’d only meant to lie down to rest my back. “What was she doing?”
Anderson tilted his head. “She’s having another session with Grant?” He said it like a question.
“Another one?” She’d already seen him several times since we’d checked in. “Should I be going to those, too?” Tara had never asked me to so I assumed it was only something she wanted to take part in.
“If you want to,” he said, shifting his weight. “There aren’t really strict rules here when it comes to seeing Grant. Some couples prefer to do it separately, others together.”
Then why hadn’t she asked me to go with her?
“Should I be worried?” I asked out loud even though I didn’t really mean to.
“Do you feel like you have something to be worried over?”
I glared at him. “You sound like a shrink.”
He chuckled, the sound breaking the tension rising in my chest. “Look, Tara obviously wanted to come here for a reason. I would talk to her if I were you. You know, instead of constantly wondering what the other is thinking.”
I huffed. “She won tickets here. She didn’t pick the place.”
He squinted for a moment before looking off to the side. “Either way,” he continued. “Communication is the only way to be sure of anything in a relationship.”
Something nagged at my insides like a splinter under my skin, but I ignored it. Anderson was right, but he didn’t know Tara. I did. Though, as time continued to pass without her opening up to me about whatever had been bothering her since Blaire left, I was sure I’d have to force the issue soon. “Thanks for the tip,” I said. “I’m good on everything today, though. You can…do whatever it is you do.” I laughed, and he nodded.
“Thanks,” he said, turning on his heels. “Call me if you need anything later.”
“Will do,” I said and shut the door behind him.
The prickling sensation of an answer just beyond my reach didn’t leave me alone, and it added to the already annoying tightness in my body. After half an hour had passed and Tara still wasn’t back from her private session with Grant, I was completely restless.
Stalking the suite did nothing to calm the nerves boiling inside me, so I decided to sink into the Jacuzzi on our balcony, knowing it would not only do wonders for my sore back but also help distract me from the niggling sensation that I was the only one not privy to Tara’s unease.
Stripping myself bare, I sank into the hot, steaming water, my muscles sighing when the heat soaked into them. The tub was big enough for six people, and more than accommodated my long legs. I fully stretched out, leaning my head back and staring at the overwhelmingly beautiful mountains that filled the skyline ahead of me.
There was something majestic about this p
lace, the quiet that surrounded the outside, the scenery, the natural beauty of the woods. And yet, I was unsettled. It could be the fact that Tara and I had kept coming so close to making love only to be thwarted in the end by forces outside our control, or it could be her distance. It went beyond Blaire going to college, I could see that now, but I didn’t know what else it was.
You have an idea.
Maybe that’s why I hadn’t forced the issue. Maybe I was terrified she’d admit that after all these years, now that Blaire had gone to school, Tara had realized I wasn’t really the one for her and wanted to see what she’d been missing.
But that doesn’t make sense.
I rubbed my wet palms over my face, wishing I had more answers instead of questions.
Well, it wouldn’t be long before I unveiled what I’d kept secret for months.
Although, now I wondered if she’d even like it. When I’d finalized the details last week, I had thought it would be exactly what she wanted, what she needed to see how much I loved her. This trip…this resort and everything that happened—or hadn’t happened—had me doubting myself in so many different ways I couldn’t see straight.
Shutting my eyes, I breathed in the steam from the hot water surrounding me, suddenly wishing for Tara’s body on top of mine. I wanted to get lost in her, bury myself between her thighs and quiet every doubt that pounded against my skull. We didn’t need all the extra stuff this place had to offer; we were incredible together.
An ache wrenched in the center of my chest, and I sank deeper into the water in the hopes that it would soothe it. It was too deep, though, the pain that radiated out of fear that Tara was slipping away from me.
Flashes of memories burst behind my closed lids—images of her holding Blaire, fixing her hair for picture day, donning all manner of costumes for whatever Blaire wanted us to be for Halloween, or soothing her as she cried over her first broken heart, painting with her, setting up themed movie nights on the weekends where Blaire had been fighting with her friends like teenaged girls always seemed to do. She managed to raise the most incredible daughter as well as take care of me and nurture my dreams of turning my business into what it just recently had become. She was one hell of a woman—my perfect match—and I’d known it from the first moment I’d laid eyes on her.
Intimacy Page 9
