by Hattie Lou
“Hi, Uncle Steve,” Savannah says, not bothering to look up as she puts on her headphones so she can watch a show without hearing our conversation.
“Hi, Savannah.” He says, kissing the top of her head.
Ben and Steve have been together before I even moved here. They are older than me by six years. Ben is a full-time caretaker for Harry while Steve is a kindergarten teacher, who is also Savannah’s teacher.
“I didn’t either. Katherine’s son wanted to spend time with her, so he kind of kicked me out for the next two hours. I hope you don’t mind me coming over uninvited.”
“Are you kidding me? I haven’t seen you around in a while. Ben never tells me what’s going on these days. So, tell me how’s life treating you?” He asks, joining us on the couch.
I let out a deep sigh. “Everything was going good until Katherine’s son showed up out of nowhere a week ago and now he wants to spend time with her without me being there. I think it’s a mistake. He doesn’t know the things that may agitate her. He should have let me stay home tonight. He hasn’t seen or talked to her in years. He knows nothing about taking care of someone with dementia.”
“Don’t forget the bastard made you cry.” Ben reminds me like I could actually forget that it happened.
Steve tilts his head sideways at me. “Why did he make you cry?” He asks, curious.
“He didn’t like me at first. Luke thought I was up to no good and was trying to get money from his mom since she’s rich. We are good now. He isn’t that bad.” I admit for the first time since I met him. He came off as a Hollywood asshole, but now he’s different. I can see how much he cares for his mom. He worries about her. I guess I would have reacted the same way if I showed up to find a stranger living with my mom.
“Wait a minute! Luke Stewart? The actor is Katherine’s son?”
Ben and I both turn our heads to Steve in confusion. “You know who he is?” I ask. It’s obvious that Luke is an actor. Katherine told me numerous times, but I never cared to do any research. I’m Katherine’s caretaker, not Luke’s. Whatever he does in his life doesn’t concern me. I don’t care about his Hollywood status. It means nothing to me.
“Yeah, have you seen a film of his? The dude is talented! Not to mention that he is dating Erika Ash.”
“Wait! Erika Ash, the sexy Victoria Secret model?” Ben asks, in shock.
“The one and only.”
“That woman has it going on. Everyone loves her!”
I shake my head at them. I never heard of Erika. Television and celebrity gossip has never been my style. I don’t care about the rich and famous. “So, what if Luke has a girlfriend?” I say.
“Honey, you don’t understand. Luke and Erika are one of the most famous couples in Hollywood. They got everything!” Steve tells me as he pulls out his phone and types their names into the search engine. He clicks on a video of them at a charity event. Luke looks handsome and tall, dressed in a suit. He smiles for the camera as he holds Erika on his side. She’s gorgeous with her blonde hair and perfect skin. She shows off her bright teeth with her smile while Luke is giving an interview about his new movie. I find myself staring at Luke. He may look the same, but he doesn’t seem like the same Luke that I know. The guy in the video seems to be forcing a fake smile.
“We all here want to know about what keeps your relationship going strong after two years together?” The guy holding the microphone asks.
He chuckles, looking down at Erika. “I have been lucky enough to have met a great woman who understands me. She knows my flaws and doesn’t care which is a huge plus in my book. She’s my better half. I would be lost without her.” Luke answers, flashing another fake smile.
She giggles as she leans forward and they exchange a kiss right in front of the camera for the whole world to see.
“They really have it all,” Steve says, bringing my eyes away from the phone to him.
“Oh, God!” Ben whispers to himself.
“What?” I ask.
“You like Luke!” He shouts.
“What are you talking about? I don’t like Luke!” I shout back, being a bit too defensive. I look at Savannah who is still too busy watching her tablet to care.
Steve studies me for a brief moment. “You do. It’s written on your face, girl.”
“You guys are both crazy. I don’t like him. He doesn’t even trust me with his mom!”
“Sometimes when there is fire, desires are made. Think of it, Ol, two gorgeous people staying in a house for a few weeks. Feelings are going to develop.”
I laugh at his crazy assumption. “Yeah, don’t forget about Erika, his girlfriend,” I say giving them a friendly reminder that Luke is in a relationship with a woman, a gorgeous supermodel.
My phone chimes as it’s sitting on the coffee table. Ben quickly grabs the phone before I have the chance. “He needs you.” He says, winking as he is reading my message.
“Shit!” I mumble, grabbing the phone out his hand and running out the door with Savannah without saying goodnight to them. He told me not to come back until eight and according to my watch, it’s only seven thirty. It could only mean that the plans with Katherine are going wrong or something happened to her.
I knew I shouldn’t have left her alone with him. I should have stood my ground and stayed home. I quickly put the car into park and run up the porch to open the front door. I hear a loud noise, followed by Luke talking in a calm voice.
I step into the kitchen and see the broken pieces of glass on the floor. I immediately rush over to Katherine and put my arm around her to calm her down. “He’s lying. I never had a husband.”
“Let’s get ready for bed,” I tell her, moving her in the direction of the hallway and away from the mess in the kitchen but not before giving him a dirty look. He needs to let go of the past. She doesn’t remember it.
“What’s going on with Grandma?” Savannah asks, worried and scared.
“She is tired, honey. You know how she gets when she needs to go to bed. I’m going to get her to bed. You brush your teeth. I will be in your room soon.” I tell her.
I don’t ask Katherine what happened this evening with fear that it will only upset her more, so I help her to her room and shut the curtains before making my way to Savannah’s room.
Luke is in the room talking to her. “I’m sorry if my mom scared you tonight. It was my fault. I said something that upset her.”
“Mommy said it’s important not to get her upset. It confuses her sometimes.”
“Well, your mom was right about that. I messed up tonight.” He gets up and turns around when he sees me standing in the doorway. He doesn’t say anything as he walks by.
After I finish reading her a bedtime story, I head into the kitchen. Luke is sweeping the broken glass into a pile. I grab the dustpan and help him.
“Care to tell me what you said to her to trigger her to act like that?” I ask, knowing he is behind it. I have been around her long enough to know she doesn’t usually act out without a reason.
“I was telling her about Dad, not that it’s any of your business.” He says, sweeping the glass into the dustpan.
I toss it into the garbage bag and tie it shut. “I don’t know what you aren’t getting. She may be your mother, but she isn’t the same woman you remember.” I say, trying hard not to yell. I don’t want to upset Katherine any more than she already is.
“I have never seen her act like that. It was scary.”
“How do you think she feels? She could be talking to you one minute and the next she has no clue who you are. It has to be terrifying for her almost every day. That is why we have to keep her calm and not mention things that can upset her. I understand you want to talk about your family, but she doesn’t remember the things you remember.”
“But why can’t she remember Dad? They were together for over forty years.”
“Dementia is something that we don’t totally understand. It messes with people’s brains and they lose all th
e memories including big events like their marriage and birthdays. It’s crazy to think about the effects it has on Katherine, but unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to fix the situation.”
He nods and takes the garbage bag out of my hand to the garbage can. “Thank you.” He says when he comes back in.
“For what?”
“Coming back when I texted you. I’m sorry for thinking that I could handle this on my own.” He says, disappointed.
I feel bad for him. I know how much he wants to go back in time with his mom, but he can’t. Life doesn’t work that way. “Luke, just give her some time. She’ll adjust to you being here. Maybe she’ll remember you one of these days when she’s having a good day.”
“How many days does she have that are good days?”
“Not many.”
My phone on the nightstand lights up the room, waking me up from my sleep. It alerts me that the deck sliding door has been opened. I grab my robe and walk out of my room to the kitchen. When I step out onto the deck, I find Luke sitting down on the chair as he is staring into the dark yard.
“What are you doing out here at this hour?” I ask, looking down at my phone to see that it’s a little after midnight.
“Getting some fresh air. I couldn’t sleep. How did you know that I was out here?”
I hold my phone in front of him, showing him that I know when the doors are opened in this house.
He raises his eyebrows up. “Are you spying on everyone in this house?”
“No,” I say, taking a seat in the chair next to him. “I have the doors on silent alarm to protect Katherine.”
“From what?”
“I had them installed not very long ago. A few months ago, I heard a crashing noise in the middle of the night on the front porch. At first, I thought it was a cat roaming the street, but then I heard Katherine talking to herself. When I got to the porch, she was confused. She wanted to go to the grocery store to get milk. She wanted to make a cake at night. I’m worried that she might try to sneak out again and I might not wake up in time to stop her.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know how you do this. The constant worrying never stops.”
“It takes a lot of patience, but I have learned to adapt to it. I was clueless about taking care of someone but your mom got sick. There was even a time where I thought she would be better off with a different caretaker than me. Someone who was a professional caregiver with many years of experience and knew what they were dealing with. Katherine told me that she refused any help from anyone that wasn’t me so I studied everything there was to know about how to deal with people with dementia.”
“Mom was lucky she found you.” He tells me.
“No, it was the other way around. She found me and helped me through the darkest time of my life. Your mom is amazing. I don’t know anyone who would take a random person off the street and invite them into their home, especially a pregnant woman. Katherine was there throughout the whole pregnancy. She went to all my classes. She wasn’t sick when Savannah was born so she taught me everything there was to know about babies. I would be lost with Katherine. After Savannah was born, your mother loved her like she was her own granddaughter.”
Chapter Nine
Luke
I wait for everyone to fall asleep in the house before heading into the living room. I kneel down in front of the television stand and open the door where Mom always kept the homemade videos of us.
I pop the first disc in and take a seat on the couch. I had to be around five years old in the video. Mom and Dad took me to Florida to the beach. Dad held the camera in his one hand while he talked. I was afraid of the water. Dad kept trying to get me to go closer to the water, I was scared to even move. Mom comes walking in front of the camera. She looked down at me with a smile. “Honey, don’t worry. I got you.” She said, reaching for my hand. Together we walked close enough to the water as I can feel my face getting splashed. Dad laughed as Mom didn’t let go of my hand.
The next video starts to play. It’s from one of our vacations when we stayed here. We did it every summer. I liked coming here to see my grandparents, but I didn’t like that there weren’t any kids around my age to play with. The house stood all by itself, almost an acre. The summer days got lonely. Mom could tell that I was getting bored of having no one to hang out with. Dad would spend most of his time in their room, writing. Sometimes I didn’t see him for hours. Mom would feel bad and ask me to come with her while she ran errands into town. I always looked forward to going into town with her since I knew that meant we would stop at Blainey for ice cream before going home. She let me go crazy with the sprinkles. You couldn’t find the ice cream when I got done putting them on. Mom always had extra napkins in her purse because she knew how messy I was when I ate ice cream.
Seeing these videos makes me realize how much I screwed up by not coming around sooner. We would have had more time to enjoy ourselves. Who knows what kind of mischievous things we could have done together. Now I’m here and she doesn’t even notice.
I blink when I notice the dampness on my cheek. I have never been one to cry, but I miss my mom. It’s like what Olivia said, she is my mom but she isn’t at the same time. She’ll probably never remember me. We will never get to share funny stories about the past. I won’t get to hear her tell me how proud she is of me. I took the precious moments for granted. I assume she would always be here waiting for me. I was selfish for making her wait. I should have come back a long time ago.
“Hey.” Olivia suddenly appears next to me on the couch. “I know this has to be tough for you.”
“Yeah.” Is all I say, not wanting to show any emotion.
“Is that Katherine?” She asks, pointing to the television.
I nod as I hit play on the day of my high school graduation.
“Luke, smile!” Mom says squeezing my cheeks as Dad is once again holding the camera as we are standing in front of my school’s parking lot.
“Wow. She looks so young.” Olivia whispers to herself.
“Mom.” I pout, not wanting her to embarrass me at my school especially with my friends that are nearby.
“Don’t you mom me, mister! Today is your last day before you set off into the big world on your own. Now smile for your mother.”
I listen and turn to the camera with the biggest fake smile. She doesn’t see me as I’m rolling my eyes back. I remember how much I was looking forward to the parties afterward and wanting to spend time with my friends instead of my parents.
“That’s my boy!” Dad says in the background. “You’re definitely going to be a big-time actor in Hollywood soon.”
I can’t help but smile at the screen. Dad was proud of me no matter what I was doing.
The next clip comes on and it’s my first television interview. I remember that day. It was a morning show in California called “Waking Up with Sully”. I was there to promote my debut film. God! I was so nervous. I was worried that he would ask me a question and I would fumble my words. I didn’t. He asked a few things about the movie and some about my dad. He wanted to know how Dad felt about me acting. I told him the truth which was that Dad approved of me acting. Hollywood was in our blood. We shared the desire to be famous.
The video ends as Sully says he will be back after the commercial break.
We sit in silence until Olivia clears her throat. “I need to apologize to you, Luke. I should have called you and informed you when she got diagnosed. You’re her son and the only family she has left. You had a right to know about her health problems. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t blame you for not telling me. I screwed up by not calling to check in on her. She didn’t want me to know. If she did, she would have called me herself.”
She lets out a heavy sigh. “Okay. We both screwed up, but I want to make it right, so if you want to know anything regarding your mom’s care, I will be happy to help you.
I walk into the kitchen to get a drink when I see Savannah sitting
outside all alone in her sandbox. I open the door and head out to see what she is doing.
“What are you making?” I ask, making my way over to join her in the sandbox.
She turns the bucket upside down carefully, not wanting to ruin what she is trying to make. “I want to make a castle. One with twenty bedrooms.”
I chuckle. “That is a lot of bedrooms. Are you planning on having a lot of guests come over?”
“No. I just want to have a big house where I can have a dog.”
I grab the other bucket and start helping her with the castle. “You don’t need a big house to have a dog.”
“Mommy said this house is too small for us to have a dog.” She says, disappointed.
“The house that I live in kind of looks like a castle.”
“Really? How big is it?” She asks, excited.
“Six bedrooms, four bathrooms and a big swimming pool, big enough to fit over fifty people.”
“Wow.” She says with her eyes widen.
I laugh at her reaction. She looks at me as the sun is shining on her little freckled nose. “Maybe one day you and your mom can come to LA and see my house.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It would be fun, but I don’t have a dog. They are too messy.”
“That’s what Mommy said. She’s worried that the dog will ruin the rugs.”
“Well, your mom is smart. I used to have a dog, Buddy. He liked to track mud into the house every time it rained. Mom hated that dog.”
“What happened to your dog?”
“He ran away.” I lie. He got loose in the yard and ended up walking in the street where he got hit by a car, but I’m not going to tell a little kid that.
Olivia comes out of the house to check on Savannah. “What are you guys making?”
She gets up and runs to her. “Mommy! Luke said we can go to LA and visit him. He lives in a castle with six bedrooms!”
Olivia looks at me while I pretending to focus on finishing our castle. “That’s nice of him, sweetie. You should go back to what you are making while I have a quick talk with Luke in the house.” She says before heading in.
