Anna listened to Tessa for less than a minute. Tessa’s voice pitched high like an excited child, but Anna’s ears started ringing. The sugar in her veins pulsed thick and sickening. She went to sit on the edge of her bed, and she nearly missed. She caught herself before she dropped to the floor. Anna mumbled a few more words—possibly a goodbye—and disconnected. She rubbed her hand across her collarbone, and her throat felt so swollen she could barely swallow.
The room filled with the scent of stale donuts and glazed sugar that had hardened and flaked like crackled paint. She looked up to see Eli standing in the doorway. She’d never seen the expression in his eyes before—guilt and uncertainty.
“You kissed Tessa,” Anna said. It wasn’t a question. Tessa wouldn’t lie, and even more than that, Tessa was so thrilled that Anna could feel the energy rippling through the phone line and electrocuting her in the heart. Eli said nothing; he simply stared at her. The temperature in the room spiked, making Anna dizzy. Her brain rocked in her skull like a boat in a storm. “She said it was amazing,” Anna babbled. “That she never wanted it to end. The best ever.” Anna looked away from Eli’s piercing gaze. She blinked at the floorboards. “I’m happy for you both. Tessa is a great person.” The words hung in her throat as though they were connected to fishhooks that someone yanked.
“I’m going to take a shower,” she said. When she stood, her knees buckled, and she wobbled sideways. Eli stepped toward her, but she held up her hand and shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” Eli said.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I can tell you’re upset.”
She tried to laugh it off, but her bottom lip trembled instead. “Why would I be upset? I have a boyfriend.” The word boyfriend sank into her stomach like burning coal.
“You do have a boyfriend,” Eli said quietly. His eyes pleaded with her to let him come closer to her, so she took a step backward. Being near Eli was too dangerous now. The idiot side of her brain wanted him to hold her and take away the sick feeling clawing its way out of her. But the rational side of her brain told her to redraw the friendship lines between them—the same lines she’d been assuring everyone else existed.
Anna rushed into the bathroom and shut the door. Then she trembled so badly her teeth chattered. She turned on the water scalding hot and sat on the edge of the tub while it heated up.
Eli had kissed Tessa. This perfect man she had created by accident, this man who tugged at her heart in a way no one else did, had kissed another woman. And not just any woman—one of her best friends. Maybe she was all wrong. Maybe Eli wasn’t hers. He was changing, making his own decisions, and evidently deciding Tessa was the one he’d like to be with instead of her. She knew she should be happy for Tessa’s excitement, for finding such a great man. But her heart squeezed so tightly in her chest she could barely pull in a breath. Instead of feeling happy for Eli and Tessa, Anna climbed into the shower, let the water beat against her cold skin, and cried into the blue and white tiles.
˜˜˜˜
Anna’s bedroom door was shut when she emerged from the bathroom. She crawled onto her bed and held her cell phone in her hand. Finally, she dialed Baron’s number. The call went straight to his voicemail. “Hey, it’s me. I hope you’re having a good time…I miss you.” She disconnected.
Did she miss Baron? Her insides felt hollow, full of nothing but the October wind. What she missed was the normalcy of her life a week ago—when she and Baron were still a couple, when he still lived in Mystic Water, and when she hadn’t created a man who tempted her like nothing else—and who was in love with her best friend.
Anna rolled over and hung off the side of her bed so she could grab the letters she’d hidden beneath. She wondered if her grandma had anything else to say about Mildred’s man.
November 25
She hates me. She hasn’t spoken to me in more than a month. I’ve tried to apologize. I’ve tried to make her understand this wasn’t my fault. Even her mother sends me away when she sees me coming up their walk. Mildred was my best friend. Now she won’t even walk on the same side of the street. I wonder what she’s told everyone because surely they wonder why we’re never seen together anymore. I can only assume they think it’s because of Joe. Joe is the one responsible for driving a wedge between two lifelong best friends.
I can see him sitting on the deck drinking sweet tea and reading the newspaper. He would have been perfect for Mildred. He’s just her type, so doting and responsible. So predictable and kind.
How could I have ever known that Joe would not love Mildred? That he could love no one but his maker? His maker—me. I did not want a man. I did not dream of Joe. I had other plans for my life. There were places I wanted to see, but having Joe is like having a child. He is my responsibility now, and he loves me dearly.
He’s good to me, but he doesn’t set my heart beating like I dreamed of. His love for me feels like a part of his creation, not because he wanted to love me. He knows nothing else, only that I am the one he chooses to be with forever. Some nights I lie awake and feel the reality of my life now sitting upon my chest like an avalanche. When Joe feels me slipping into this dark place, he holds my hand and comforts me. But he never makes me explain what I’m thinking. Sometimes I think he knows that I do not love him the same way, and he is simply grateful that I allow him to love me.
I miss Mildred. I would trade Joe for her friendship again, but he would never leave me, and Mildred views him as tainted goods. I should never have listened to her and made a man. Neither of us ever imagined the consequences.
Anna pressed the letter to her chest and leaned her head against the pillows. Her grandpa had been created for someone else. Grandma Beatrice regretted making him. Anna shared her grandma’s feeling of responsibility. Beatrice had ultimately married Joe and had children with him. Had she ever been in love with him? Did she feel obligated to get married?
Anna stared at her bedroom door. Did the lingering effects of creation cause her to have false feelings for Eli? His feelings for her were already fading. Maybe it would be best to let Eli go, let him live his life with Tessa or whomever he chose. Anna rolled onto her side and looked at the darkness pressing against her windows. Eli had been a part of her life for less than a week. Letting him go should be easy. Wouldn’t that help her life to return to what it was before he arrived? So why did the thought of letting him go make her forget to breathe?
11
Bear Claws
Anna walked to the long piece of parchment paper she’d tacked to the wall in the kitchen. She studied the desserts she’d written down throughout the day. With Mystic Water’s Fall Festival happening in five days, she had a lot of work to do in order to prepare for her usual booth and for the auction. She added pumpkin pie to the list. It wasn’t Anna’s favorite dessert, but it was one of the most requested desserts in the fall.
“I think you should add your grandma’s coconut cake,” Eli said.
Anna and Eli hadn’t spoken much all morning other than basic pleasantries. She wasn’t sure how to act around him now, and he was careful to keep out of her way.
She didn’t turn to look at him when he spoke, and she tapped the marker against the list. “It takes three days to make that cake,” she said.
Anna felt Eli step farther into the kitchen. The air warmed, and she had a sudden craving for a warm cinnamon roll. She hazarded a glance his way. He looked so confident and calm. How was he adjusting to everything so easily when she felt like a toy car wound too tightly, ready to spring off into disaster?
“But everyone loves it. You can charge more for it, and people will pay. You know Mrs. Davenport will buy one. Doesn’t Mr. Heller buy two every year?”
Anna walked into the storeroom and tore off another long sheet of parchment paper. She tacked it to the wall beside the first one. Then she split the list into sections according to the days of the week. She started writing the baked goods beneath the day of the week they would need to be
prepared.
“If we add even four coconut cakes, they’ll have to be started no later than Thursday. They’d need to be finished up Saturday morning, but we’re already swamped on Thursday. I have to cater Emma Haynie’s birthday party Thursday at noon. Most of Saturday morning will be spent making last-minute touchups and setting up the booth. The festival starts at eleven a.m. and runs until the fireworks that evening. I don’t see how we’ll have time to add them.”
Eli stood beside her, and she exhaled. He pulled the marker from her fingers. “Why don’t we start the coconut cakes on Wednesday? Let’s move the bear claws to Thursday. I’ll do them in the afternoon while you’re dropping off the party order. I’ll have the coconut cakes finished by Friday, and they can sit overnight in the cooler. The flavors will have more time to meld, and they’ll be even better for Saturday.” He scribbled coconut cakes—Eli beneath Wednesday. Then he smiled at her and put his arm around her shoulders, giving her a quick squeeze. “And you’re not doing this all by yourself. I’m here, and we’ll get everything done.”
Anna couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks.” Just when she was becoming too comfortable with his arm around her shoulders, he pulled away. The bell on the front door jingled, and Eli walked out to help the customer. She felt his absence like he’d been pulled away by the riptide, taking all the sweetness in the air with him. She turned and stared at the list. Then she began moving more items to the days-of-the-week section. The next few days were going to be a madhouse.
She smelled coffee grounds fresh out of the mill, and Lily bounced into the room wearing a lavender sweater, tight-fitting jeans, and her brown boots. Her curls were contained behind a headband with a silver, sequined flower on the side of her head.
“You look great,” Anna said instantly.
“It’s amazing what going from barfing all day to only barfing in the morning will do to you,” she said and dropped her purse on the island. “I feel sick for about half an hour, and then the rest of the day I can almost forget I’m harboring a deep dark secret.”
Anna knew Lily was trying to make light of her situation by being playful. “The only barfing in the morning is working for you. You look like the old Lily.”
Lily smiled. She glanced at the lists and nodded her head. “I’m going to buy three dozen of the almond truffles. Make sure you make enough. Oh, pumpkin pie. Maybe I’ll buy that too. I’ve had some weird cravings already.” She looked at Anna. “On a scale of one to ten, how stressed are you about the festival?”
“Ten and a half?” Anna said. “At least I have Eli’s help. He’s completely competent. We’ll get it done.” Anna added another item to the list.
Lily stepped up and took the marker from her hands. She stood in front of the lists, blocking Anna’s view. “I talked to Tessa,” she said. She looked serious. “She told me about her and Eli.”
Anna closed her eyes and sighed. Couldn’t she escape reality for five minutes without something reminding her that Tessa had stolen Eli’s affection from her?
“How do you feel about it?” Lily asked.
Anna shrugged. “Not as happy for Tessa as I should be, which makes me feel like a royal jerk.”
“Because you like Eli too,” Lily said. “You know we made Eli for you. Not for Tessa.”
Anna suddenly felt the need to weep. She tried to blame it on stress and not sleeping well, but her heart felt as though it had a belt tightening around it. “We didn’t even know what we were doing.”
“But he’s yours,” Lily argued, keeping her voice down.
Anna shook her head. “He’s making his own choices, and he’s clearly choosing Tessa.” Her voice trembled. Pull yourself together. “He doesn’t want me, Lily. It’s as simple as that. Baron doesn’t want me either,” she said, suddenly overwhelmed with self-pity.
Lily dug through her purse and pulled out a set of keys. She jangled them. “You need a distraction. Tell Eli to close this place down tonight. We’re getting you out of here before you eat your way through the brownie mix.”
Anna wiped at her eyes. “Where are we going?”
“The Clarke House,” Lily said. Anna opened her mouth to speak, but Lily continued, “You haven’t officially told me anything about the fact that you put down earnest money on the house, but I know you meant to tell me. Anyway, Mrs. Clarke is out of town until Saturday, and Tessa is quasi-housesitting for her. She goes over there at night to check to make sure everything is in order. I convinced Tessa to let me go with you to the house to check everything tonight under the assumption that I wanted you to give me a brief tour. She made me swear on my life not to break anything. Can you believe that? What the hell, are we five? Anyway, we’re really going over there so you and I can have some time alone in a magic house.” Lily smiled.
Anna felt so overwhelmed with gratitude she gave Lily a spontaneous hug. “Let me grab my stuff.” When Anna returned from her apartment, Lily was telling Eli that she needed him to close the bakery without Anna. He agreed, and he looked up at her as she came down the stairs.
“Thank you,” Anna said.
“Of course,” he said. “When will you be home?”
“Late,” Lily said. She motioned with her head for Anna to follow her, and she turned and walked out of the kitchen.
“Should I wait on you for dinner?” he asked. His blue eyes seemed to convey that he wanted her home with him.
Anna was tempted to tell Eli she’d love to have dinner with him. She wanted to say she’d love to sit and talk for hours like they’d done during their trip to Wildehaven Beach. But that would be like asking Eli to turn on the broiler and shove her inside. She couldn’t get the image of Eli kissing Tessa out of her head, and it filled her insides with boiling oil.
“No,” she said. “Don’t wait up for me.” Then she hustled after Lily. The wind slapped her in the face and turned her cheeks red. The cold was a welcome change to the fire burning in her stomach.
˜˜˜˜
Anna gave Lily a tour of the Clarke House, and she wasn’t sure if Lily was more excited about the house or if she was. Once they were settled on the brown leather sofa in the library, Lily pulled her legs beneath her. She passed Anna her turkey on wheat and a bag of chips, and she unwrapped one for herself. “I’ve always thought this house would be amazing to live in,” Lily said. “Remember how we used to drive by during the holidays when we were younger? She had so many lights strung like a fairy tale house.”
“On Halloween, she always had the best candy too,” Anna added. She bit into her sandwich.
Lily nodded. “Hers was the only house Mama would let me eat the caramel apples from.” She ripped open her bag of chips; a few jumped into the air and landed on the couch. Lily quickly tossed them back into the bag and brushed the evidence of crumbs from the cushion. “What made you want to drive to the beach yesterday?” she asked.
Anna swallowed. She rested her sandwich in her lap. “There’s something I haven’t told you. No one knows except Eli, and my mama, which was a complete accident. I wouldn’t have told her yet.” Anna updated Lily on the recent happenings and the contract offer.
Lily’s eyes were wide and disbelieving. “You’re moving? I thought you put an offer on this house. Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking about buying a bakery?”
Anna sighed and leaned against the armrest. “It never seemed real until the contract arrived. I never intended on moving back home and running Grandma’s bakery for the rest of my life. But Mama flipped when she found out. She says I’ll be disappointing everyone if I leave.” Anna stared at rows of books neatly arranged on hardwood shelves. Was her mama right? Would she be allowing Grandma Bea’s legacy to die? Was she being self-centered?
Lily put her sandwich on the coffee table. She opened her bottle of pink lemonade. “Selfishly, I’m glad you came home, and I’ll be sad for you to leave, especially now. My life is about to turn upside down.”
“It’s not like I’d never come home, and you know you cou
ld visit anytime,” Anna said. Guilt crept from the corners of the room and coiled up her legs until it wrapped around her stomach and twisted.
“Wildehaven Beach isn’t that far away, and I’d never turn down a weekend visit at a beach house.” Lily smiled. “What will you do about this house?” She reached for her sandwich again.
Anna shook her head. “I haven’t accepted the offer for the bakery. Mama would be over-the-top irate with me.”
“She’ll get over it,” Lily said. “What do you want more? This house or the beach?”
Anna drank from her Coke can to try and wash down the uncertainty lodged in her chest. “It’s not that easy. I want them both.”
Lily clicked her tongue. “Too bad. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
Anna nodded. “I think I’d rather disappoint myself than disappoint everyone else. Mama’s right. A lot of people depend on me here. And now there’s the complication of Eli. He works here and has a job with me.”
“Take him with you,” Lily said seriously.
Anna cleared her throat and blinked a few times. “I’m not sure he’d go with me.”
“What do you need him for?” Lily asked, eating the second half of her sandwich.
For my sanity. For happiness. For the way he makes me feel like I’m a stick of butter melting in the summer heat. “He bakes well,” she said.
Lily narrowed her eyes at Anna, who avoided eye contact on purpose. “I’m sure that’s not the only thing he does well. Would you want to go without him? Would you be okay starting there on your own knowing he was here?”
Anna pressed her lips together and shook her head. She was seconds away from crying. Lily seemed to sense the approaching flood and slapped Anna on the knee. “Hey, if you don’t buy this house, I think you should let me have it.” Lily leaned her head back and funneled potato chip crumbs into her mouth.
The Baker's Man Page 11
