“I’m afraid, I guess,” Maddy said. “Afraid of getting hurt again.”
“Well, that’s natural enough. Sometimes love does hurt. And you’ve just been through a betrayal. You’re a little gun-shy is all. But Connor would never treat you that way.”
Maddy shook her head. “It’s not Connor. I know he’s a good man. It’s me. I’m broken, Gram. I don’t think I’ll ever believe in love. Look at Mama and Daddy. Look at Jonathan and Nora. Look at Gramps! How can you even believe in love after what he did to you? It’s not worth it. It’s just not.”
“Oh, Maddy. Is that what you’ve learned from all this?”
She could hardly bear to look into her grandma’s sad blue eyes.
“Honey, that ol’ Nick failed you, no doubt. Your father failed your mother too—in a huge way. And yes, your grandfather failed me repeatedly. But it was they who were broken, honey.” She huffed. “Well, I could’ve stood up for myself, to be sure. I guess we’re all a little broken when it comes right down to it.”
“I’m not strong enough to go through something like that.”
“Hogwash. That’s a lie straight from the pit of hell. You’ve got more mettle than you know. But you watched the demise of your parents’ marriage and lost your father, all in the same day. It happened so suddenly, jerked the rug right out from under your feet. I saw it shake your world. Why, of course it did. It’s no wonder you avoided love for so many years.”
She blinked at Gram’s insight. She’d never even talked to her grandmother about her fear. Maddy should’ve known better. The woman missed nothing.
“What if I’m too scared to try, Gram? Every time I think it’s worth the risk, something happens, and I find myself right back where I started.”
“Then what you need is faith, dear. Faith in God, that He’ll get you through no matter what happens. Trust the Lord with your future, honey. He won’t let you down.”
Maddy reflected on her grandma’s words. Did she believe God would get her through? That He had a plan for her life?
“What else can you do?” Gram asked. “Live without love? Keep a houseful of cats? Pah! What kind of life is that? How lonely an existence. Love’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. You’ll never find happiness if you let fear stand in the way of what you truly desire.”
Gram gripped Maddy’s arm with surprising strength. “You’re a strong woman, Maddy. Stronger than I was at your age. Strong enough to handle any heartache that might come your way. Until you believe that, you’re going to struggle to give your heart away.”
And that was it in a nutshell, wasn’t it? She didn’t trust herself, and ultimately, she didn’t trust God to get her through the heartache.
Lord, help my unbelief.
She blinked away the tears that clouded her eyes.
Gram rubbed her arm. “I know it can be hard to trust again, honey. But when you find someone worthy of your trust . . . it’ll be worth the risk. I promise you that.”
Maddy thought of Connor and felt a new resolve building inside. A strength that defied all explanation.
“And, sugar, trust me on this,” Gram said, confidence shining from her eyes. “Connor Sullivan is worth that risk.”
Chapter 37
A noise startled Maddy awake. A branch or something had hit the house. Rain pounded the roof and wind rattled the shutters. The hurricane was still wreaking havoc outside.
Gram had drifted off around midnight, and Emma and Nora had followed soon after. Maddy hadn’t meant to fall asleep at all. She checked her phone, hoping she’d somehow missed a text or call from Connor. But the screen was void of notifications.
Her heart sank as she caught sight of the time on the screen. She’d been asleep for two hours, and it was past four in the morning. Her battery power was almost gone, but she tapped on his phone number.
It rang through to voicemail. She closed her eyes, listening to his voice.
Where is he, God? Please keep him safe. I want to tell him I love him. Even if he doesn’t want me anymore, I need him to know how I feel.
How many times had she breathed those words over the past several hours? She disconnected the call and clutched the phone to her chest like a lifeline.
The room had grown chilly. A jar candle still flickered from the coffee table, making shadows dance around the room. Across the room Gram slept in her recliner, an afghan tucked around her. Nora and Emma slept beside Maddy on the sofa, Emma leaning on her sister.
Earlier the two of them had stayed upstairs together for over an hour. When they’d come down it was obvious something had happened between them. Something good. There was a lightness between them that had been missing since they’d arrived in late May. Actually, since that last summer in Seahaven. Forgiveness had taken place. The healing could finally begin.
The four of them had talked late into the night, catching up. Now that everything was out on the table they could be real with each other. Maybe it was painful when people unburdened their secrets. But transparency was necessary for honest relationships, for real intimacy. And Maddy longed for that with her sisters.
She heard their heavy hearts as they shared. Nora grieved over her relationship with her daughter and struggled to know how to start over with nothing. Emma worried that Ethan would end things for good when he found out about the pregnancy—and just when they were finally on the same page.
And Maddy . . . She was just worried about Connor. Everything else took a back seat.
She lay listening to the storm rage around them. Her stomach was all twisted up inside, just knowing Connor was out there somewhere. Gram had talked to her about having faith in God. Trusting Him with her future. If that applied to her love life, it certainly applied to the storm and Connor’s safety.
Give me faith, God. I want to believe. I want to trust. Maddy kept praying. It was all she could do. It would be enough. It had to be.
A while later Nora stirred on the other end of the couch. Her eyes fluttered open, and she found Maddy in the shadows. “What time is it?”
Maddy could barely hear her over the pounding rain. “After five.”
“You haven’t heard anything yet?”
Maddy shook her head. “How much longer till the storm passes, do you think?”
“Earlier they were saying about twelve hours.”
It had started around nine. They still had about four hours left, but Maddy had already made up her mind. The sun would rise about six, and she was going to drive around looking for Connor, hurricane or no.
She glanced at her watch. Less than an hour to go.
She needed something else to think about or she was going to drive herself crazy. “So you and Emma cleared the air last night?”
A smile tipped Nora’s lips as she glanced down at her sleeping sister. “Yeah. I think we’re going to be okay.”
“I think you’re right.”
They talked quietly for a while, and when they ran out of things to say, Nora drifted off to sleep again.
At six it was still awfully dark, the sunrise shielded by a thick cover of clouds. But Maddy got up and quietly slipped on her shoes. She’d have to let someone know what she was doing. She headed toward Nora, stretched out on the sofa.
A melody suddenly filled the room. Her phone! She pulled it from her pocket. The screen showed a number she didn’t recognize.
She punched the green button. “Hello.”
“Hi, is this Maddy Monroe?”
Her heart was in her throat. “Yes, who’s this?”
“I’m a nurse at Dosher Memorial. A Connor Sullivan was brought in by ambulance a little while ago, and we found your contact information in his phone.”
“Is he okay?”
“Are you a relative of Mr. Sullivan’s?”
“No, I’m his . . . friend.”
“I’m trying to locate next of kin. Can you point me in the right direction?”
Cold fingers of dread raked down Maddy’s throat. “Is he all right?”
>
“He’s had an accident and we need to reach his next of kin. Your calls and texts were on his screen, so I started with you.”
“His parents and his sisters . . . Is he all right? Please tell me.”
“He’s alive, but I really can’t share any more information than that. But we’ll be asking his next of kin to come to the hospital as soon as possible.”
Oh God, she prayed. Maddy’s eyes closed in a long blink. Her breath felt stuffed in her lungs. She couldn’t breathe.
“What?” Nora asked. “Is he all right?”
Gram and Emma had awakened and all eyes were on her.
Shrugging at them, she forced herself to get on with it. “His parents live in Florida, but his sisters, Tara and Lexie, live in Whiteville. They’re in his phone.”
The nurse thanked her and disconnected the call.
“What did she say?” Gram asked.
“Only that he’s alive, and they’re asking the family to come as soon as possible. I have to go.”
She was already grabbing her purse, half expecting the others to put up a fight. But that’s not what happened.
“I’ll go with you,” Nora said.
“Me too,” Emma said.
Gram began slipping on her shoes. “We’ll all go.”
Chapter 38
Driving a car during a hurricane was definitely not advisable, Maddy thought as she watched Nora navigate the Mercedes. Rain pounded the windshield, making it almost impossible to see the road. Debris flew by, barely missing the car, and the gusts of wind threatened to blow them off the road.
Connor had been out in this, Maddy thought. Unprotected. She fought against the rising tide of panic.
“The hospital probably gave his sister more information,” Emma said from the back seat. “You could call her and find out what’s going on.”
“I don’t have her number,” Maddy said.
“Slow down,” Gram said to Nora from the back seat. “There are wires down up ahead. See?”
Gram was right. Maddy peered through the rain-splattered passenger window into the predawn landscape. A telephone pole was down by the side of the road. But there were no wires on the pavement that she could see.
“I think we’re clear,” Emma said.
“I don’t see anything either.” Nora crept past the downed pole, then increased her speed as much as she could with the bad visibility.
Maddy clutched her phone in one hand and her shoulder strap in the other. A moment later they slowed again to maneuver around a large puddle, and the wind rocked the car. Maddy just wanted to be there, at the hospital. She wanted to be looking into those soulful gray eyes and know Connor was all right.
She wondered if they’d even let her see him or tell her anything once she got there. His sisters lived farther from the hospital so it would take them longer to get there. If they could even find a clear path with the flooding and such.
Maddy prayed continually. She repeated the same lame phrases over and over, hoping God wouldn’t hold that against her. She just couldn’t think straight with fear bathing her brain.
Faith, she prayed. Give me faith, God.
It seemed hours later when Nora finally turned into the hospital. She dropped Maddy, Emma, and Gram off at the ER door and went to park. Maddy rushed into the building, then across the waiting room, where she got in line at the desk behind a middle-aged man.
Maddy tapped her foot impatiently, but the man in front of her was cradling a bloodied hand and seemed to be in a lot of pain.
When it was finally her turn, she stepped forward. “Excuse me.”
The grandmotherly woman behind the desk closed a folder and put it in a stack.
“I’m looking for Connor Sullivan. He was brought in a while ago. Someone called me.”
The woman began typing. “Are you a relative, dear?” she asked without looking up.
Maddy’s heart dropped. “No, but I’m his girlfriend.” The statement wasn’t entirely true, but close enough.
More typing. “Is a relative on the way, do you know?”
“Yes, his sisters, but can you just tell me—”
“I’m sorry.” The woman gave her a compassionate smile. “I know you must be terribly worried, but it’s hospital policy to only divulge—”
“Phyllis,” Gram exclaimed as she rushed up with Emma. “Thank heavens. Maybe you can help us.”
The woman behind the desk beamed. “Louise. How lovely to see you.”
Gram set her hand on Maddy’s back. “This is my granddaughter, Maddy. She’s awfully worried about her boyfriend who was just brought in. Can you tell us anything? Anything at all?”
A conflicted look washed over Phyllis’s face. She glanced covertly around the desk, then lowered her voice. “Well . . . I suppose I can tell you that he’s in stable condition. I’m afraid that’s all I can say until his family arrives.”
“Can I see him?” Maddy asked.
“Let me check, dear. Why don’t you have a seat in the waiting room?” The woman disappeared through swinging doors.
Maddy and the others made their way to the far corner. Nora had come in, and they updated her.
On the other side of the room a mother paced with a wailing baby. Nearby a little boy lay sleeping in his dad’s lap, his face flushed. Everyone seemed to be waiting on news of a friend or loved one, like they were.
Maddy checked the time on her phone. It seemed to be taking Phyllis forever, though probably only a couple minutes had passed.
The exterior doors whooshed open, and Tara rushed into the room. She was wearing a pale blue slicker over yoga pants, no makeup, her short brown hair flat on one side.
Maddy met her at the desk. “Tara.”
“Maddy!” The woman embraced her. “Have you heard anything?”
“They won’t tell me much. Only that he’s alive and stable. What did they tell you on the phone?”
“Only that he was unconscious and undergoing tests. He was out in the storm and got hit in the head, apparently.”
Maddy drew back, giving Tara a pained look. “I’m so sorry. He went out looking for my sister. Nora came back, but he never did. We called 911, but they never got back to us, and I didn’t have any way of reaching you.”
Tara squeezed her arm. “He’s in good hands now.”
The others had joined them, and Maddy made quick introductions. She was just finishing when Phyllis returned.
“This is Tara,” Maddy said. “Connor’s sister. Can we go back and see him now?”
“The doctor’s in his room right now and would like to speak to a relative. I can walk you back,” she said to Tara. Then she addressed Maddy. “You’ll need to wait a bit, dear.”
Tara squeezed Maddy’s hand. “I’ll be back with an update. Hang in there and please pray!”
And then she was gone. Maddy wanted to cry. Her eyes burned and her throat ached. But at least Tara was going to him now. He wouldn’t be alone anymore, and they’d tell her what was going on.
“Come on, honey.” Gram took her arm. “Let’s go sit down. It shouldn’t be long now.”
It seemed an eternity later when Tara came back through the doors. Her face was splotchy and her eyes were bloodshot.
Maddy found herself beside the woman without any memory of getting up or walking over. She set her hand on Tara’s arm. “What’s going on? Is he awake?”
Tara shook her head, swiping a finger under her eye. “He’s still unconscious. He definitely has a concussion, and they’re concerned, since he hasn’t woken up yet.”
Maddy’s lungs wouldn’t fill. Her heart felt as though it might explode from her chest. “Is he—is he in a coma then?”
“The doctor didn’t use that word. He’s had an x-ray and an MRI, but the results haven’t come back yet.” Tara covered her trembling lips as her eyes watered. “He just looks so pale and lifeless, lying there.”
“Did the doctor say anything else?” Gram asked. The others had followed her over.
/>
“There’s not much they can say until the test results come back. But the sooner he wakes up, the better. Some guy found him when he took his dog outside early this morning. Otherwise he’d still be lying there.”
Maddy hated to think of it. He must’ve lain out there unconscious and bleeding for hours.
“Maddy . . .” Tara gave Maddy a tortured look.
Maddy’s blood seemed to freeze at the look on Tara’s face. “What? There’s more, isn’t there? What is it?”
“The doctor said we’re dealing with a traumatic brain injury. He doesn’t know the extent of it, but he said it’s at least what they call a ‘moderate TBI.’ If someone’s unconscious more than six hours, it’s considered to be severe. But, of course, we don’t know how long he’s been unconscious.”
“Oh no.” Maddy’s chest tightened until it ached. Her eyes burned.
“He did say you can go back and see him. Only one of us at a time, though. I’m going to call my family and update them. Lexie had to stay with the kids—my husband’s out of town. Connor’s in room 114, but they’re planning to move him upstairs soon.”
Gram squeezed Maddy’s arm. “We’ll be right here storming the gates of heaven, sugar. Don’t lose hope now, you hear? God’s got this.”
“All right.” Numbly Maddy pushed through the door and strode down the long corridor. Her shoes squeaked on the sterile white tile. She breathed in the smell of disinfectant and the faint odor of burnt popcorn—from the break room, she supposed.
The florescent lights flickered, and she realized the hospital must’ve been using an emergency generator. Thank heavens for that.
Room 114 seemed to be at the other end of the hall. Her heart was beating double time, and her lungs couldn’t seem to keep up.
She knew only a little about traumatic brain injuries. The mother of a server at Pirouette had suffered one following a car accident. She had trouble processing and spoke very slowly. She also had seizures, Maddy recalled. She tried to remember what else Lauren had mentioned, but she came up blank. That was bad enough, though. The accident had changed the woman’s quality of life. She was on disability now, unable to even hold down a job.
Summer by the Tides Page 24
