by Lucian Bane
“Oh God, oh God,” she whimpered.
“Fucking breathe,” he ordered, raking his fingers down the center of her back. “You’re taking my cock, Angel. You’re taking all of my bad cock, that’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she gasped. “I want it.”
He felt her muscles quivering in attempt to accommodate him. “I want your fingers in your pussy while you rub that pretty clit. And I want you to do it until you’re coming again, do you understand?”
“Yes,” she cried sharply when his cock slid in a few more inches.
“Are you fucking yourself?” He slid in even deeper.
“Oh, God, yes. Sade, slower.”
He slammed his palm down on her ass, making her scream. “Are you fucking yourself!” he growled.
“I’m fucking myself!”
He slid all the way in and both her hands shot out and gripped the desk with a sharp cry. The disobedience flooded him with desire and he fell forward, pinning her with his weight. “You didn’t listen,” he shuddered, rolling his hips and turning her face to his. “You never listen to me. Now you get to be fucked like an animal, that’s what you wanted?”
“Sade,” she gasped. “Please. Wait.”
The beg drove him to his edge. “Your fucking ass… so fucking tight on me.” Dizziness hit him as he pumped his cock in and out. “So fucking tight, so fucking perfect, always begging for me to fuck, fast and hard!” he grit, sucking on her shoulder then biting down when his thrusts turned faster.
She screamed stop but to his mind, it was don’t stop, don’t ever stop. And he fucking didn’t, not until his pounding cock shot its evil seed in her, that’s all that mattered, that’s all he knew. That’s all he heard until she let out a loud shriek.
The sound was different and startled him. Sade suddenly realized he was on top of Mercy on the desk and she was sobbing under him.
Terror gripped him and he flew off of her, making her scream. The sight of blood on her legs, stole his strength and he stumbled back.
She turned, her face crimped and streaked with tears. “Oh fuck,” he gasped, shaking his head. “No, no, no.”
Mercy suddenly flew off the desk and stormed to him. He saw the look on her face, the lethal look in her eyes, but he’d never seen it aimed at him. He didn’t try to stop her. The first round of fists and feet told him she’d been pushed over the edge. He’d turned her into something he’d never seen.
“Come on!” she screamed, kicking and hitting. “You want to hurt, you want to hurt me? Let’s do it! Let’s fucking fight, you and me, let’s fucking bleed! We can bleed, one on one!”
Her furious shrieks of pain, agony and regret pierced him so fucking hard, it put him in that place inside where his sanity hid out during monster time.
“Let’s fight!” she roared between shrieking sobs. “Let’s fight! You love me! You don’t fucking hate me, you love me!” she screamed, not letting up.
I don’t hate you baby. I do love you. So fucking much, he wanted to tell her. I just want to protect you. From this. From me. He said the words so hard inside him, praying she would somehow hear him from that quiet place where there was no talking allowed. There was only crouching in a corner, arms over his head while he waited for the outside pain to rescue him from the inside pain.
“You’re killing meeeee,” she screamed. “Why won’t you help me, help you! Please, help me!”
She continued to beat on him in her own insane oblivion, and in his mind he held her in a tight embrace. He held her so tight and kissed her on the top of her head, whispering promises he couldn’t keep. Stop crying baby. I’ll help you, I promise. I promise to be good. I promise to do good, I’ll do better. It was the same words he’d always said after he failed. He’d always failed. Always.
Sade focused on the words in Mercy’s screams—like a broken love song. “I’ll teach you! I’ll fucking teach you, you can learn! You can learn to never fucking do that!” It went on and on, soothing him. Don’t stop. Don’t stop, baby. Don’t you stop.
And she didn’t.
He wasn’t sure how long it took before he actually hit that floor. He tried to stay on his feet as long as he could, tried to take it. Because once he hit the floor, he knew it was a countdown till darkness. He didn’t want it to come. Not unless it was coming for good. Maybe this time it would. Maybe his Mercy would succeed where so many before had failed. Yes, she could. She could bring the darkness for good, she was his angel.
Another voice mixed with Mercy’s and Sade barely recognized it was Liberty. Mild panic hit him as he fought to speak. Don’t stop her, please. Let her finish. Let her fucking finish what she started. Let her finish me.
“Don’t fight me, Mercy!” Liberty yelled.
“I have to teach him!” she screamed. “He doesn’t want to be that! I need to teach him!”
Mercy escaped Liberty and he welcomed her foot flying at his head.
“Mercy! You’re going to kill him, you’re going to kill Sade!”
“He has to learn!”
The sound of a body hit the floor followed by only gasps. “I really didn’t want to fucking do that.”
Sadness hit Sade at hearing it was Liberty. Whatever she’d done… had silenced his sweet angel of Mercy.
Chapter Ten
Mercy stood in the shower, holding her body, trying to stop the violent trembling. Felt like she’d been in a car wreck and her limbs were still in shock, her mind numb. She reached out with a trembling hand and turned the hot water off, gasping in the sudden cold, praying it reset her system. She stood there, just feeling the spray, focusing on getting her breathing in line.
Flashes of memory shot through her veins, Sade’s cock pounding into her. Her beating him. Him letting her. She gasped on pain, holding her stomach again, leaning into the shower wall as her strength left. Tiny groans of agony accompanied her every breath as her body processed the memories scarring her. She’d woken up in her bed, remembering all of it. Dreaming about it, that’s what had woke her. Liberty was there at her bed telling her everything was okay. Sade was resting and would be fine, that he was just a little banged up. Few bruises is all.
God, she knew that wasn’t true, she remembered how she hadn’t held back like she usually did. She remembered how he didn’t fight back. A sob gushed out of her and she covered her mouth with a trembling hand. And all for what? For fucking her in her stupid ass? It was just a fucking ass! And the lessons? She had loved it so much. It had awakened something in her, a desire to command his desires, to be in control of them. For him. And the ass part… she’d just panicked. She knew it would hurt like hell and she’d panicked. And then he got to that unstable point and before she could stop him, he’d lost himself to it. And she’d taken it. She’d let him fuck her in the ass when she’d wanted him to stop and Jesus, it hurt. It hurt still, but it didn’t justify what she did. This was her fault. He’d warned her. He’d tried to warn her but no. Mercy knew better.
She was going to shower, she would shower and go see him, make sure he was okay. Sade’s swollen face flashed in her mind and stole her strength again. Tears poured down her face and she let out a loud sob, stifling the avalanche of them. And she’d planned on letting him do it, she did. Just when he was sane and sober, in control. Somewhat even. She loved more than anything, no craved, the feel of power in his hands, his body, his voice. His need, his desire for her. But she never wanted to be scared of him, and when he got like that, she very much was. But why? Why should she be scared? It’s not like she couldn’t defend herself or stop him. The problem was, she froze up. Froze up in fear. And then other triggers hit from the really bad memories and just like him, she’d lost herself to that darkness that once had control of her and her entire life. She was just like him still. He just hadn’t hit her buttons like she hit his.
Thank God Liberty had stopped her. The idea that she’d hurt him like that, broke her so badly inside, the pain was suffocating. She hurt somebody precious t
o her. After she practically forced him into a situation that would tempt him. She practically begged him for it, waving her ass in the air. Good job, doc. You drove your patient over the edge, the man you love and now he’ll hate himself for it. Good fucking job.
And now what? Now that session one was a fucking nightmare disaster, now what? How were they supposed to come back from that?
Mercy quickly dressed and made her way to Sade’s room, looking around for Liberty as she did. She looked at the closed door, her stomach suddenly sick. She hurried downstairs and found Liberty, sleeping in the recliner. She touched her on her arm and she nearly leapt out of the recliner, scaring the shit out of Mercy.
“Damn it, Mercy! Don’t ever wake me up like that!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
Liberty slid her good hand across her face and looked around. “What time is it?”
“Nearly dawn. I was going to check on Sade.”
Liberty flopped back into the chair. “Good, save me the trouble.”
“How is he?”
“He’s fine,” she mumbled. “I told you, few bruises.
“Few bruises,” Mercy said, swallowing, wanting better details. “Few is three to fifty, can you be more specific?”
She shrugged with a yawn, “Bout’ forty eight maybe.”
“Oh God,” Mercy gasped.
“Stop, he’s had much worse from one of his thrown weekend fights.”
Mercy nodded, walking in erratic circles. “I’m going to see him.”
“You said that, yes. Let me know if you need any help with anything,” she mumbled, putting the recliner all the way back and turning on her side.
Mercy made her way back to his room and stared at the door again. She turned the knob so very slowly, not wanting to make any noise if he were sleeping. She didn’t let herself look as she slipped in and closed the door, facing away from the bed, her eyes closed.
“You lost?”
She spun around and at seeing his deformed face, she covered her eyes with both hands, gasping for air.
“Baby,” he croaked after a moment. “You’ll hyperventilate. Come here.”
“Oh God,” she whispered. “I can’t.”
“Yes you can,” he said softly.
She shook her head. “I can’t, I can’t,” she barely whispered.
“Please?”
“Sade,” she cried, still holding her hands before her eyes.
“Come here, Angel,” he muttered, his voice deep. “I need you.”
The broken sound in his voice drew her to his bed but she kept her eyes on the floor as she went. She sat next to him, facing so that he was barely in her peripheral.
“Angel,” he whispered, stroking a finger over her arm. She cringed and he drew it back with a heavy sigh. She clenched her eyes in the silence, wanting to see him but terrified to. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered.
“You?” she gasped. “I can’t bear to look at you.”
“I don’t blame you.”
She realized what he was saying and gasped. “Not because of what you did, because of what I did to you!”
“Oh God, Angel,” he whispered. “There’s only one monster here.”
“Yes, me!” she choked out. “I hurt you! Look at you!”
“Holy fuck, stop. Look at me. Mercy, look! At me!”
“No, I can’t.” She shook her head. “I can’t stand to see what I did.”
He went quiet for a few seconds before whispering in baffled shock, “Wow.”
“Whatever,” she cried.
“I’ve gotten so much worse.”
“Yeah, by other animals!” she wailed, wiping her tears.
“Motherfuck,” he mumbled.
“Motherfuck?”
“Yes, motherfuck.”
“Why motherfuck, why are you saying that?”
“Because after all this, nothing has changed.”
She chanced a look at him. “Oh my God,” she jerked away, “I’m going to be sick.”
“Just stop!” he said, his voice hard. “You are not doing this, you are not going to turn this around and act like you’re the criminal and I’m the goddamn victim!”
She jerked to him again. “How can you lay there, beat half to death and say that?” The shocked words came in a shrill hiss.
“Mercy!” he yelled now. “I raped your ass! You were sobbing and bleeding, what the fuck? I guess you asked for it, begged for it? Is that it, is that what you’re going with, doc?”
“Oh my God.” She covered her mouth nodding. “Sade, if you think about it—”
“Holy shit!” he said, furious.
“Not holy shit! Not holy shit, I mean it!” she demanded back, hardly able to stand looking at him. “You told me no, no Mercy, don’t do it, you warned me over and over not to push you, that you were unstable, and there I was, wagging my ass right in your face!” she shrilled.
“Oh my God, don’t fucking do this Mercy, don’t. Don’t make it something it’s not.”
“No!” she stood up and faced him, jabbing a finger. “You don’t make it something it’s not. It’s not your fault you have these issues, it’s not your fault. I knew you did! I even knew how to stop you so why didn’t I? Huh? No, I let you do it then cried like a little bitch, and then tried to kill you,” she wailed, covering her mouth with a hand, stifling a sob. “I’m the animal here.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered, shaking his lowered head. “So I basically got my ass beat for nothing.” He looked at her with his barely one good eye. “Am I to assume we’ll be resuming classes tomorrow evening from my wheelchair?”
She gasped. “Sade, that’s not fucking funny! I’m sorry, okay?”
“I don’t want your apology, godammit, I want your common fucking sense!”
“And I’d like your common fucking sense,” she argued back. “Why didn’t I listen? Maybe I’m the real sadist or masochist here and wanted this to happen! Think about it,” she said over his mumblings and head shakings. “I’m not stupid, I know this shit,” she said.
“You know this shit,” he mumbled, looking up. “She knows this shit, did you hear that? Are you listening to this? Are you? I hope you fucking are and you need to have a little chat with your girl before she doesn’t return from this. You feel me? Do you feel me!” he yelled at the ceiling.
“I am just saying,” she plead, “that I’m no better in this.”
“I’m not doing this,” he shook his head emphatically. “Not doing this at all.”
“Okay, fine, then let’s not do this.”
“Are we done then?” he asked her.
She regarded him, not sure what that meant.
“Look at me, Mercy,” he said softer, his head angled. “What the fuck are we doing here, baby? What is this? Junkyard therapy? The patient rapes, the doctor brutalizes? I mean what? The fuck? Are we doing, baby? You seeing it, you seeing in this mirror?”
“I messed up, okay?” she wailed. “I freaked out, the assplay triggered me.”
“Ass rape,” he yelled, “don’t fucking down play it. Fucking right it triggered you, do you know why it triggered you, Mercy? Because it reminded you of those motherfucking bastards that hurt you, that was me! Mercy!” he pounded his chest with a fist, making her sick.
Sorrow strangled her throat, making her choke the words out, “I could’ve stopped you. I knew how, I knew what to do, I just… I panicked. I just won’t panic again.”
“You could’ve stopped it? Are you so sure of that, baby?”
She sat there nodding emphatically, trying to get her shit together. “Very sure,” she said in firm sincerity. “Very, very, very sure.” She turned more to him. “That’s my point, Sade. The reason I didn’t do what I needed to is not your fault—that fault lies with me. And it’s not your fault that you have your issues. Nor,” she said louder, pointing at him when he looked ready to interrupt, “is it my fault I have my issues, but how we handle them is where we have to lay
blame. How we handle what has happened to us is where we become responsible.”
“So I’m guilty, then,” he said as though she proved his point.
“As. Am. I. No, don’t shake your head, you know this is true, if you’re willing to be reasonable.”
“Un. Fucking. Believable,” he said in soft amazement, looking just to the right. He finally turned to her. “This can’t happen again.”
“I agree,” she said. “And it doesn’t have to.”
“Oh it won’t. Because we’re done.”
She stared at him, her stomach roiling and tight. She got up and began to pace next to the bed. “So… you’re just going to throw it away.”
“No,” he said, quietly, “I’m going to save what precious few memories we have left.”
She snorted, still pacing. “Precious few memories,” she muttered, eying him as she went. “It’s an ass Sade, it barely hurt.”
“You fucking lie!” he yelled, making her jump inside.
“It hurt, fine,” she yelled back, but look at you!” she threw her hand at him. “Why Sade?” she stopped and stared at him, tears filling her eyes. “Why are you so damn stubborn, I’m riding a goddamn bull that keeps throwing me off, how about you let me help you, how about you fucking help me help you?”
“Because I’m sick Mercy, okay? You want me to use the medical terms, you want to play a real doctor, I’m. Fucking. Sick! And there is no cure!”
“I can help and you know it, you know damn well what I’m trying to do can work if you’d give it a chance! But you won’t, you will not, you are fighting me and you’re right!” she grit while pointing at him, “it will never work without your cooperation!”
“Wow,” he said, shaking his head in wide-eyed wonder. “You’re the bull, not me.”
“Oh I’m a bull alright,” she mumbled, back to pacing. “And this bull says we are not done.”
“We’re done.”
“Fucking no, we’re not,” she sang lightly, shaking her head. “We are not done. We are going to regroup. We are going to refocus,” she ticked the items off on her fingers with each step she took toward him, “and we are going to re-plan. We’re getting back in the game, baby, you and me,” she wagged a finger between them. “It’s not over yet. This show is just beginning. And you knew there would be a few rough spots, I mean you know this, anything worth fighting for has them.”
