by Lyn Gardner
Spellbound, Maggie didn’t move. The desire in Alex’s eyes was palpable, and there was no doubt as to what was about to happen. Years before she had done everything in her power to prevent it, but as she lay in the snow, straddled by the most stunning woman she had ever met, Maggie could no longer deny what she wanted. When she felt Alex’s breath on her face, Maggie closed her eyes in anticipation only to open them a second later when Alex let go of her wrists and scrambled to her feet. Confused, Maggie looked up at the woman, and where just seconds before she had seen passion, Alex’s eyes now held only sadness.
Fighting to control her emotions, Alex said shakily, “You should go inside and get dried off. I’ll get the firewood.” Turning on her heel, she disappeared around the side of the cabin before Maggie could say a word.
Chapter Fourteen
Maggie knew exactly how many timbers supported the roof in the bedroom, and how many stones were embedded in the mortar surrounding the hearth. She could do her multiplication tables up to twenty times twenty, and had even managed to make it through the alphabet backward more than once. It didn’t help. She was worried, and sleep no longer came easily.
Since their romp in the snow, Alex had become withdrawn and somber. Content, it seemed, with gathering firewood, dozing on the sofa, or taking walks around the cabin, and although Alex had never ventured far, she had also never invited Maggie to join her. Their bantering had all but ceased, and the only card game being played was solitaire.
For the better part of forty-eight hours, Alex had silently chastised herself for becoming infatuated with a woman she could never have, at least not in the way she wanted. By the look she had seen in Maggie’s eyes, Alex knew that she could have easily taken what she wanted, tasting Maggie’s lips in the snow, and her body in the cabin, but that wasn’t enough. Lust between the sheets to feed animal urgency would have satisfied her physical hunger, but Alex wanted more. She had fallen in love with Maggie, and Alex didn’t just want her in her bed. She wanted Maggie in her life…forever.
Just as she had done for the previous two nights, Alex lounged on the sofa, sipping watered-down scotch hoping it would dilute her anger. Although starting as self-loathing for being so stupid, over the past two days it had gradually grown to volcanic proportions. Mad at herself, her circumstances, and the pain caused by a woman named Debra, silence was Alex’s only option. She knew that her words would be laced with rage, and Maggie didn’t deserve it. She hadn’t done anything wrong. The gaping wound in Alex’s heart was self-inflicted, and that fact continued to feed her fury like gasoline to a flame. Setting her jaw, Alex took another swallow of scotch and prayed that Maggie would go to bed soon.
Sitting by the fire, Maggie gathered the cards from the ottoman and shuffled them again. She hadn’t won a hand yet, but then again, her mind wasn’t exactly on the cards. Even though Alex continued to ignore her, Maggie found it impossible to do the same. She couldn’t help but stare at Alex and wonder what she was thinking. Why had she gone so quiet, and why did she look so angry? As the questions ran through Maggie’s mind, she felt her annoyance growing, and having had enough of the silent treatment, she blurted, “I think we should talk.”
Jarred from her thoughts by Maggie’s remark, Alex glared back for a moment. “And what exactly do you want to talk about?” she snapped. “I know! How about the weather, or better yet, how about…let’s see…how would you feel about redecorating this place in the spring? You know, get rid of all the dead fish and hang up some watercolors.”
Confused by Alex’s flippant response, Maggie asked softly, “Why are you so angry at me?”
“I’m not angry at you,” Alex barked.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Then why won’t you talk to me!” Maggie demanded.
“Fine!” Alex growled, swinging her long legs off the sofa. Sitting up, she stared angrily back at Maggie. “You’ve got my undivided attention. Now, what the fuck do you want to talk about?”
Inwardly, Maggie smiled. Psychology courses had always been her favorite. They had taught her about the strengths and weaknesses of human behavior, and the fact that the easiest way to avoid answering a question was to start an argument. Alex was trying to do just that, but Maggie refused to take the bait.
Relaxing back in her chair, Maggie placed her feet across the ottoman and crossed them at the ankles. “How about what happened outside the other day in the snow? Let’s talk about that.”
Stunned that Maggie would bring up the subject, it took Alex several seconds to gather her thoughts. Rubbing her neck to ease the tension building under her skin, Alex said, “Look, Maggie, you and I have been through quite a bit in the past…what, two weeks? It’s only natural that…that an attraction could develop between us, but it’s only because things have been so traumatic. Christ, we could have been killed in the crash, or in the snow, and you almost died from that fever. It was just a fleeting thought…heat of the moment and all that. Nothing more, nothing less, so there isn’t anything to talk about.”
With the minutes of her day no longer taken up by endless games of gin or conversation, the deafening silence had afforded Maggie the time to think, and it had been time well spent. She had come to terms with how she felt about the woman whose smile lit up a room, and whose eyes spoke more truth than Maggie had ever thought possible. Somewhere between hello and you’re not dying on my watch, Maggie had fallen in love with Alex, and as she looked across the room into those dark-brown eyes, Maggie knew that she wasn’t hearing words of truth, only ones spoken to hide fear and insecurity.
“That’s a bunch of crap, and you know it,” Maggie said, sitting up in her chair. “Don’t lie to me, Alex. Not after we’ve been through so much. Don’t hide behind walls.”
Clenching her teeth, Alex took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. Confused as to why Maggie would continue to press the subject, she said in a whisper, “Why are you doing this?”
“I want to know the truth.”
Exasperated at the woman’s doggedness, Alex drank the rest of her scotch in one swallow, and slammed the cup down on the coffee table.
“All right!” Alex yelled. “I’m attracted to you! Is that what you want to know? Damn it, Maggie, you’re gorgeous, and there’s nothing more that I’d like but to take you into that bedroom back there and discover what you keep hidden under that staunch exterior of yours. But eventually, they’re going to find us. We’re going to go back to the real world. To our jobs, to our friends and to our families, and I’m still going to be an out-and-proud lesbian who doesn’t hide behind doors, or closets, or walls! I was a straight woman’s experiment once, and I won’t let that happen again…because it hurts, Maggie. It hurts too damn much!”
Another smile formed, but again, Maggie kept it hidden. Without saying a word, she stood and walked to the pile of wood by the door. Picking up a few of the logs, she padded down the hall to the bedroom.
Convinced that the subject was now closed, Alex took a deep breath, emptying her lungs slowly as she went to the kitchen. Foregoing any water, she filled her cup with scotch in hopes that the straight alcohol would numb not only her brain, but her body as well. Turning to return to the sofa, Alex jumped when she found Maggie standing directly behind her.
“Fuck, you scared me,” Alex said.
“Sorry,” Maggie replied, taking the cup from Alex’s hand. With her eyes locked on Alex’s, Maggie took a sip of the scotch before placing the cup on the counter. Grinning slightly at the confused expression on Alex’s face, Maggie took her hand and led her down the hallway.
Caught up in the feeling of her fingers interlaced with Maggie’s, it wasn’t until they were standing in front of the fireplace in the bedroom when Alex finally found her voice. In a whisper, she asked, “What are you doing, Maggie? Why are we back here?”
“I’m trying to tell you…show you how I feel,” Maggie said calmly as she reached up and opened the first button on A
lex’s flannel shirt.
Instantly, Alex pulled away her hand. “No. Don’t do this…I don’t want—”
“Sshhh,” Maggie said in a breath, placing a finger on Alex’s lips. Marveling at the silky softness of Alex’s lips, several seconds passed before Maggie spoke again.
“What I feel for you didn’t happen yesterday…or last week,” she confessed, unbuttoning the next in the row on Alex’s shirt. “These feelings…these feelings began the day I met you. I tried to deny them. I did everything in my power to push them away…to push you away,” Maggie said as she undid the next button. “I became involved with a man I didn’t even want, hoping…praying that he could somehow change what I felt for you, but he couldn’t. And now I know that no one can.”
As the last button opened, Maggie’s eyes traveled downward, momentarily allowing herself the pleasure to view what lay beneath the borrowed flannel. And while the shirt and bra still partially hid what Maggie desired, she unconsciously licked her lips in anticipation.
Raising her eyes to meet Alex’s, Maggie said, “These feelings I have for you, they burn inside of me, and I don’t want to hide them anymore. I can’t hide them anymore.” Slowly, her hands traveled up to Alex’s shoulders, and lightly grasping the fabric of the shirt, Maggie said in a breathy whisper, “I want you, Alex. Please…please let this happen. Please let me love you.”
Alex’s jaw fell open, and the sound of her ragged breathing filled the room. She had told herself a dozen times that she would not let this happen, but in Maggie’s eyes, Alex saw nothing but the truth. Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes and nodded her head a fraction of an inch, and a rush of air escaped her lungs as she felt Maggie push the shirt from her shoulders. As it floated to the floor, Alex said in a whisper, “Oh, God.”
Maggie’s heart was pounding, but there was no hesitation in her movements. Tracing the straps of the black bra with her fingers, Maggie reached around and as her eyes locked with Alex’s, she released the clasp and both women sucked in a quick breath as the brassiere loosened. Drawing the straps down Alex’s arms, Maggie allowed it to fall to the floor, and as her breathing became shallow, Maggie lowered her eyes.
She had never admired another woman’s body. Through the years, in the locker room of her local gym or on a movie screen in a darkened cinema, she had seen her fair share, but had never paid them any mind. They were women just like her, with all the curves and attributes that came with being female, but Maggie hadn’t been in love with any of them. Love had changed everything, and now, Maggie couldn’t look away.
Alex was beautiful. In the flickering light of the fire, her skin appeared bronze. Maggie could see the tightened ripples of muscles across her toned stomach, but it was Alex’s breasts that caught Maggie’s attention and held it. Firm and full, with darkened centers pebbled with anticipation, the mere sight of them caused Maggie’s libido to lurch.
Reaching out, she placed her hand between them and momentarily marveled at the thumping of Alex’s heart beneath her palm. Spreading her fingers, she slowly drew her hand down between Alex’s breasts, her thumb and pinkie casually feeling the roundness of both until it settled under one. Cupping the fullness of it in her hand for the first time, the tiniest of grins appeared on Maggie’s face. She had never felt something so wonderful in her entire life.
Heavy and round, soft and feminine, the plump mound filled her hand, and as she caressed it, Maggie watched as the nipple, craving for attention, became even more pronounced. She quickly answered its call by gently rolling it between her fingertips, and hearing the grunt of pleasure escape Alex’s lips, Maggie grew bold. Lowering her head, she covered the rosy center with her mouth and sucked hard against the tip.
Desire rushed through Alex’s body like a wave, and as her juices flowed thick, drenching her knickers in seconds, she threaded her fingers through Maggie’s hair. “Oh, Jesus,” she said in a breath.
The sound of Alex’s throaty reply drove Maggie onward. Continuing to suckle against the peaked tip, enjoying how it filled her mouth and pleasured her senses, Maggie began kneading Alex’s other breast in her hand. Caressing the plumpness and rolling the taut tip between her fingers, Maggie didn’t stop until Alex pushed her away. Momentarily confused, when she saw Alex lean toward her, Maggie swallowed hard and waited for their lips to meet.
As the distance between them closed, their breathing became labored and the sound of their anticipation filled the room. Touching for the first time, the kiss was tentative, feathery and soft, and both moaned as their bodies began to blaze hotter than the flames in the hearth.
Again and again their lips met, and the flavors of scotch, cigarettes, and essences intrinsically their own swirled together to make a recipe worth dying for. No longer able to deny her want of the woman, Alex let her tongue travel across Maggie’s lips, and the response was immediate. Opening her mouth, Maggie allowed the kiss to deepen, and minutes passed while they savored the sweetness of their kiss, the softness of their lips and the warm, smooth texture of their tongues.
Coming up for air, Alex gazed into Maggie’s eyes for only a moment before her hands traveled to the buttons on Maggie’s shirt. Just as Maggie had done, Alex took her time opening each, and her eyes never left Maggie’s until her shirt and bra were on the floor. Pulling her into her arms, Alex kissed her hungrily. Allowing her hands to travel over breasts, creamy and ample, Alex cupped, kneaded and tweaked as their appetite for each other grew ravenous.
Nothing could have prepared Maggie for the feelings coursing through her veins. Her knickers were soaked through with want, and the throbbing in her center was hard, urgent and demanding. Maggie’s entire body was pounding for release, and the more Alex took, the more Maggie wanted to give. Hands ran over skin, warmed by fire and need, and nipples were tasted, pinched and pleasured as both became intoxicated on the headiest drug of all…love.
They slowly made their way across the room, the dreamy dance of lovers about to be. Gently lowering Maggie to the bed, Alex moved over her. Pressing her thigh against Maggie’s sex, Alex continued to plunder her mouth in an assault that left Maggie gasping for air.
Arching her hips against the pressure Alex was applying, and feeling as if her body was about to explode, Maggie begged in a whisper, “Please…please, Alex, touch me.”
Alex smiled knowingly. Placing the lightest of kisses on Maggie’s lips, she worked loose the knot of her sweatpants. Climbing off the bed, Alex wasted no time in ridding the woman of what remained of her clothes, and pushing her own pants and knickers to the floor, she quickly returned to cover Maggie like she had done before. Pressing her hardened thigh against Maggie’s center, Alex slowly began to rock.
Alex had never been so wet. Her rapture coated her thighs, dripping and mixing with Maggie’s as she rubbed against her. The smell of their want filled the air, and breathing in the musky, erotic scent, Alex rocked harder. After capturing Maggie’s mouth in another devastating kiss, Alex let her kisses continue down Maggie’s neck, across her throat and toward her breasts.
“Please…Alex…oh, God…please,” Maggie begged. The force building inside of her craved release, and when Alex moved slowly down her body, leaving a trail of kisses behind, Maggie trembled at the prospect of what was to come as she opened her legs wider. She could feel Alex’s breath against her sex, the wispy currents carrying with them the promise of ecstasy, and when she felt Alex’s tongue lap against her folds, Maggie cried out, “Oh…dear…God!”
Arching her hips toward Alex’s tongue, Maggie grabbed fistfuls of the quilt as an orgasm quickly rocked her body. Shaking and moaning from its power, Maggie struggled for air as the waves crashed over her again and again.
Alex knew exactly what had happened. Stunned, albeit pleasantly, she stilled her movements and rested her head on Maggie’s thigh, waiting for her lover’s breathing to slow. Hearing a soft whimper, Alex moved up the bed and noticed a tear rolling down Maggie’s flushed face.
“Hey, what’s this?�
�� she asked quietly, wiping it away with her finger.
“I’m sorry,” Maggie replied, her voice cracking with emotion.
Alex pushed a strand of hair from Maggie’s forehead. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Yes, I do. I just…I just…oh, crap!”
Unable to stop a laugh from escaping, Alex smiled at Maggie as she cupped her chin in her hand. “Darling, it’s okay. Trust me, I know.”
Wide-eyed, Maggie said, “Are you saying that you…I mean…did you?”
“No, not yet,” Alex said, grinning.
“I feel stupid,” Maggie said, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
“Don’t,” Alex said, placing a kiss on her lips. “There’s nothing to feel stupid about.”
Blushing even more, Maggie said, “I just wish—”
Stopping Maggie’s words with a kiss, Alex placed her hand between Maggie’s legs. Sliding through her wet folds gingerly, Alex whispered, “Touch me, Maggie. Touch me like this and I promise you’ll get your wish.”
Maggie gazed into Alex’s eyes. The color she once thought as cinnamon had darkened to almost black, and in those eyes, she saw love and passion. Alex’s confident fingers had already begun to ignite Maggie’s desire again, and slithering her hand down Alex’s body, Maggie let it settle between her lover’s legs. The warmth and wetness she found there took her breath away.
The petals were soft, slick and thickened with want, and Maggie took her time tenderly drawing her finger through each. Alex’s breathing turned strained instantly, and when Alex slipped a finger inside, Maggie did the same. In unison, they gasped at the sensation of being inside the woman they loved.
When Alex increased the tempo, Maggie did the same, and within minutes, their bodies were covered in the sheen of sweat. Their breathing came in short gulps, sighs and moans, and their movements became a dance that neither had ever danced so perfectly before. They were one.
