by K E Osborn
“She’s scared, but she’s doing fine. Do you want to talk to her?” Mylee looks a little apprehensive. “She wants to talk to you,” I add.
Crest exhales. “Okay, but don’t take this non-reaction as a non-reaction, Trax. I’m in pain for my girl’s broken dreams. Dreams you’ve damn well shattered. I won’t forget you did this to her. I might sound calm, but once I’ve dealt with Mylee, we’re going to be having some serious fuckin’ words you and me.”
I let out a long breath. This is more like what I was expecting, and I know it’s going to be a hard slog when Crest gets here, but I’ll put up with whatever he throws my way because Mylee’s worth it. Our baby is worth it, and I would put up with anything for them.
“I hear you, Crest, and I’m all for a chat, but right now, I think Mylee needs to talk to her father. She needs support, do you hear what I’m saying?” I warn, but he lets out a small laugh.
“You think I’m going to talk her out of this baby? Trax, all I’ve ever wanted is to see her happy, to see her with a brood of kids, and to make me a grandfather. I want that for her. I want that for me. I want that for you, but sometimes we don’t always get what we want. If Mylee tells me she doesn’t want this baby, I will support her in that, Trax. I’m on Mylee’s side, whatever she chooses… remember that.”
I exhale handing Mylee the cell. She takes it from me as I let out a heavy breath. The idea Mylee could still turn around and not want to keep our baby weighs heavily on me as she lifts the cell to her ear. I stand up from the bed moving over to the window looking out at the gray, overcast sky.
“D… Dad,” her voice cracks making me shudder hearing her sound so vulnerable. “No, I’m okay. I promise. Trax’s doing a great job looking after me. He’s been amazing, Dad.”
I turn back to look at her. She smiles as I take a breath walking over to the bed then sitting on top. I only needed a second, just a second to gather myself from Crest’s words, but now I’m back, and I’m here for my girl. I bring my legs up on the bed beside her, sliding right next to her wrapping my arm behind her shoulders and pull her to me. She nuzzles into my side continuing to talk to her father while I try to tune out letting her have some time as I take a moment to just think about this life-changing event.
Mylee’s pregnant.
With my child.
And from here on out everything’s going to be different.
Crest is on his way. It’s been a couple of hours since we called him, so he should be about halfway here by now. It takes four hours to ride from Grand Rapids to Chicago, but knowing him, he’s probably breaking the land speed record to get here.
Mylee’s psych, on the other hand, has been in and discussed all the options with us. He talked us through the risk factors weighing up the pros and cons of staying on her bipolar disorder tablet regime. Dr. Prescott advised that the medication she’s on doesn’t tend to have risk factors, but there’s always some risk associated with taking any medication during pregnancy. So, basically his recommendation is for Mylee to stay on them. In the long term, the advantage of Mylee’s moods being stable is of a far greater benefit to her and the baby than her being off her meds. If her moods are unbalanced, it could cause stress and possible dangers which come with bipolar episodes which could, in turn, be more harmful than the medication itself.
Standing to lean down, I plant a chaste kiss on Mylee’s temple. “I’m going to talk to my brother about club business and see how far away Crest is. Won’t be long,” I tell her squeezing her hand.
Turning, I walk from her room glancing over to Foxy giving her a sly wink. She winks back, and I know she’s going to look after my woman while I’m out trying to calm down my raging emotions.
MYLEE
Smiling as Trax leaves, Foxy walks in taking a seat next to my bed, she sits back, the plastic on the chair squeaking with her movement. “Wow, this is so much to take in,” Foxy says.
I snort out a laugh. “You should take it in from my end.”
She chuckles leaning forward resting her arms on the bed as she looks up at me. “Mylee, I’ve been at the club long enough to know these men. Long enough to know how they work. Long enough to know that when they mark their territory, they fight tooth and nail to make the people they love happy.”
“I get that. I’ve been around clubs long enough to see how it works.”
She smiles. “Then you know Trax claiming you is a big deal. He’s been so… broken, so… alone, until you came back. He was waiting for you.”
“I think I always knew I’d find my way back to him.”
“He needs you, and with this baby comes a new challenge, but I will be here, Kline will be helping you, too. You’re always going to have access to the club, and everyone there’s going to be helping as well. We’re a family, family sticks together, no matter how hard it gets. We’ve got your back, Mylee, don’t you worry.”
“Thanks, Foxy, this means so much. I know I’m kinda new around here, but it’s lovely the way you’re all taking this on… taking me on.”
“You’re family, Mylee. You’re a part of this club now. You’re the VP’s Old Lady. No matter what, we will take care of you. We’re basically sisters you and me.”
Foxy stands up leaning over taking me into a tight hug. I feel nothing but a sisterly embrace from her. I’ve never known what it’s like to have a sibling, but right now, I feel about as close to Foxy as what it might be like.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I ask.
She pulls back from me with a small smile and giggles. “Thanks, and I mean everything I say. You’re one of us now.”
“I feel that, and I’m so glad.”
Having this moment with Foxy is just what I needed. Not a doctor coming in telling me the ins and outs of how things are going to run. Not Trax and my father telling me I have their support because I know I have it no matter what. But having the other members of the club backing me, this is what truly makes me feel welcomed into the Chicago Defiance, and being welcomed by the club’s first Old Lady, well, it can’t be any better than that.
I glance at the doorway and notice the handsome older face of my father looking in. My breath catches, a sudden wave of anxiety flows through me at the sad look in his eyes. His broad frame steps inside the room as Foxy turns to see Dad, and she smiles.
“I’ll let you two have some time. I’ll be right outside if you need me, just call,” Foxy beams.
“Thanks, Foxy, for everything.”
She pats my shoulder as she lets Dad stride in to take the seat she was occupying. He reaches out grabbing my hand, his warm fingers feeling like leather as my eyes instantly well up with tears.
“Daddy,” I murmur.
He weakly smiles, his white beard looking a little longer than it did just over a month ago when I last saw him. “Oh, baby girl, I had no idea bringing you here would result in this.”
I look down to our joined hands, his weathered from age and too much sun. I shrug. “It wasn’t planned—”
“No, of course not, Mylee. I’m worried about you, about what this means for you.”
“I know, Dad. It’s going to be hard, especially because you have to stay in Grand Rapids while I’m here. You need to be with the club, you can’t leave them to look after me. You gotta let me do this with the help from Trax and his club, Dad.”
He grits his teeth shaking his head. “I got you into this mess, Mylee, I should be the one looking after you. You have to come back home, so I can take care of you. I know how to handle it best.”
I look at him trying to muster all my courage to tell him what I need. “Dad, I can’t leave Defiance.”
“You can, and you will, Mylee.”
Slowly shaking my head, my heart pummels in my chest. “I can’t, Dad. I’m a part of their club now.”
His eyes shoot open, he flares his nostrils like he’s getting angry with me. “The only way you would be a part of their club is if—”
“Trax claimed me,” I blurt ou
t.
His eyes bulge as the vein in his thick neck pulses. His jaw strains as he tilts his head like he’s trying to reign in his anger. “Shit! Little fucker. I’m gonna goddamn kill that son of a—”
“Dad, this is what I want. Me, him… our baby.”
Dad looks to me his eyes glistening like he’s on edge.
“We’re going to be a family. It’s going to be fucking hard to get there, but I have so much support here, Dad. And I know you’ll come to see that and support us, too.”
He clears his throat. “I know you have support, Mylee, I saw it in the corridor out there. I saw it when I walked in here. I just… I hate the idea of you going through this and me not being by your side.”
I tighten my hand in his. “I know, but you’ll only be four hours away, and I’ll call you every day if you want me to. I will probably do it anyway knowing me. So you won’t be missing out, Dad, not at all.”
“I don’t think I’ll be missing out, Mylee. I’m scared I won’t be there when you need me.”
“I will always need you, Dad, always… but Trax and Foxy, hell even Torque, and I’m sure Neala, will be watching out for me. Trust me, I’m going to have so many people watching me I’ll probably be begging to come home.”
He laughs. “Okay…” He tightens his hand in mine.
I look at him wondering why he looks so disheveled. “What’s happening with the club? Is everything settling down?”
He snorts out a laugh. “Hardly. We have trades happening, but with the fucking senator breathing down our necks, everything’s blocked at every angle. It’s making running things damn hard for us. Those Scotts are a pain in my fucking ass. The minute we find something on them, to take them out, will be a good day in my book.”
I weakly smile thinking about Everett and all the shit he’s caused my family and me. “I have a guy at Defiance, Ace, who’s doing some digging, but he can’t seem to find anything so far that could do any damage to the Senator’s career, or even in regard to Everett for that matter. They seem to be covering their tracks too well.”
“Yeah, the Senator’s doing a great job of hiding the fact his son is completely deranged. I mean I know he has an illness, but there has to be some kind of evil in him to say the kinds of things he was saying to you.”
I shudder, remembering when he cornered me in the psych hospital and the conversation that took place.
My mind never truly felt clear there. Everything smelled stale. I was never sure if it was mold or more of an old shoe smell mixed with antiseptic. But either way, the smell was everywhere. In my bedroom, in the hall, in the dining area. It seeped into your pores and made you feel even crazier than when you arrived. Not that I was crazy, I was so deep into a bipolar episode that I couldn’t crawl my way out. That’s why I was there in the psych ward of the hospital. My depression so uncontrolled I couldn’t keep myself from thinking horrible thoughts. From wanting to curl into a ball and think of ways of ending things. From thoughts so dark they scared not only my family, my friends, but me too.
Over the weeks, patients would come and go. Some nice, some kept to themselves, some talked to me, most didn’t. But one always made an effort to spend time with me. In fact, his attention toward me seemed a little more like infatuation.
Everett Scott—he was the man walking toward me right now.
The hallway was dimly lit, the flickering of the one light that always seemed to be faulty made me cringe. It was so cliché. The psych ward having a flickering light, like something from a horror movie. I thought that shit was only shot in Hollywood, seemed I was wrong. My mood was down. I felt particularly low as I stood against the end of the hall while Everett stalked toward me. His eyes twitching like he was aggravated.
I knew when he got this way, it was best to avoid him. He could get restless. Sometimes say weird shit. So I made the move to walk off, but he rushed forward, blocking me into the corner of the hall. His arms coming up either side of me, his bulky frame trapping me against the peeling plasterboard. That damn flickering light enhanced my already racing heart rate as I looked to the floor. The walls feeling like they were closing in on me. Those ever-present storm clouds rolling in.
“Mylee, don’t try to run from me. Is it the government? Did they tell you to run?” he asked.
I risked glancing up at him confused by his words. But the hard look in his eyes teamed with the red puffiness surrounding them, only made me more frightened. I shook my head. “Everett, I… d-don’t know what you mean?” I stuttered.
“The damn government. They’re the ones in on this, they have been all along. Can’t you see? But we should fight it, Mylee. This conspiracy is bigger than them. We should fight it. My life is tied to yours… you should be able to see that by now?” He spoke with such passion, he truly believed every word he said as a shudder ran down my spine while his hand came up and caressed the side of my face.
I had nowhere to go. I was trapped. Tears pricked in my eyes as I looked at him. He had been my friend in this place, but he was slowly making less and less sense. His government theories and words about our lives being tied together were really starting to terrify me. But I wasn’t sure if maybe I was going a little crazy—maybe this was all a hallucination.
“Mylee, you need to realize we’re tied together. If you die, I die, right?” he murmured.
I opened my eyes wide wondering why he’d say something like that. Was it a threat?
“Why would you say that, Everett?” I blurted out as he brought both his hands to my face holding me tight. My body riddled with fear as I shook uncontrollably in the moment. I had no idea what to do. My mind a complete haze from not only the deep depression I was suffering but also the medication I had taken. I was almost drunk from the overwhelming anxiety. Everett was scaring me, his words so twisted, so confronting, so confusing. His face contorted in what looked like pain.
“We need to keep each other safe, we can do it this time. I can keep you safe,” he whispered the last part as he leaned in, his eyes closing as I registered his actions. My body went rigid to the spot frozen in fear. He was so all over the place. He was angry one moment, and now, now he was leaning in about to kiss me. He inched closer, my body unable to move, his hands tightening on my face holding me into position. My eyes squinting, my muscles contracting, retreating from the intrusion. I didn’t want him to kiss me. I felt violated as he came closer, so close I could feel his breath against my skin. But I was so lost, my mind not functioning, my body not moving. I was paralyzed in the moment.
“Hey!” someone called out as stomping feet came rushing down the hall.
Everett quickly backed off before the kiss made contact as the male nurse rushed toward us. “No fraternization between patients, Everett. You know that!” he said looking to me raising his brow as if to question if I was all right.
My body shook—fear, adrenaline, anxiety swallowing me whole. I didn’t hesitate. Everett was far enough away from me that I could make a run for it. So I did. My feet fled. I took off, one foot after the other as tears filled my eyes. My arms wrapping around myself as I raced down the hall toward my room. The comfort of my room, where I would lock myself in my bathroom and shower to wash away the feeling of Everett’s hands on me. Where I would cry into the rivulets of the water until my tears ran dry.
Until tomorrow, when it would all happen again.
Dad looks at me, grabbing my hand. “Hey, where did you just go?”
Shaking my head, I try to fight off the memory. “Nowhere good. Everett slipped into my mind.”
“I’m sorry I left you in that hospital with him for so long. If I knew he was playing tricks on your damn mind, Mylee… if I knew he was hurting you—”
“It’s no one’s fault. I wasn’t strong enough to realize he was a threat at the time. I know now, and so we can fight against him. But as long as he doesn’t know I’m here, we’re good. I’m okay.”
Dad exhales. “Last I heard he was going mad not knowing where yo
u are. I think they’re getting ready to commit him again. If they do that, the threat might resolve itself.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice? I mean I don’t like that a man is so crazy within his own mind he can’t function properly. Hospitals are the best place for him where they can keep him under watch and guard.”
“Exactly. So you can get on with your life, your new family, and not have to worry about a thing.”
I weakly smile. “Here’s hoping.”
“Trax will look out for you, I have no doubt. He knows if he doesn’t, he’ll have me to answer to.”
“Not just you, but the entire Notorious Knights.”
Dad laughs. “Exactly. Everyone back home misses you, Myls.”
“I miss them, too, but eventually I was going to spread my wings.”
“Yeah… just didn’t think it would be four fuckin’ hours away. Thought you’d end up with someone from our club… Aero maybe?” He stands up moving in pulling me into a tight embrace as I wince. “I’m so proud of you, Mylee. I thought I’d walk in here and you’d be a mess. But you’re holding yourself together well. You’ve come so far from the girl who was diagnosed two years ago.” He pulls back looking into my eyes.
“Me and Aero, we were never gonna work. It was always Trax, Dad.” I smile. “I couldn’t be this girl without you. You made me into this woman, this much stronger, capable woman. That’s why I know I can do this with Trax and the club. We can do this… together.”
He looks at me and smiles. “I believe you can, and you will. This baby will be good for you. I know you always had an opinion about having children, but, Mylee, when your mother and I had you, it was the best-damned thing we ever did. We knew the risks of passing on her illness to you, so we went through the same thing you’re going through now, but to us, having you was more important. You’re so worth all the uncertainty. We were scared, we felt guilty, and the moment I saw your symptoms coming on, I felt like shit because we knew you were going to more than likely end up there. But it was worth it… to have you in our lives, baby girl. Because you are the most precious gift to have ever graced mine and your mother’s lives.”
