One thing for sure, she didn’t want to have any part of the cutthroat business world. Since she had to lay low for the rest of her life, that wasn’t an option anyway.
Lily rolled to her back and stared up at her ceiling. She’d been more than content with her new life. Servicing others in her salon, hanging out with her new friends at book nights, or going out for drinks, building a relationship with Ty. It had all been such a blessing. One she never expected to have in her life.
Friends had a different meaning growing up. They were the people her father associated with. Business partners. Not that she or her father had ever called them friend. Not knowing anyone other than the girls she attended private school with, and the women she golfed with, she’d never realized what she was missing.
Lily hadn’t ever needed a friend to lean on, to confide in, until she’d learned of her husband and father’s illegal activities. And then she had the FBI and Agent Thorne.
But she didn’t want to lean on them anymore. She wanted her true friends. Hope, Mia, Alexis and Jenna. The only times she’d spent with Grace were in group gatherings and then when she’d confronted Lily last week. Grace was the only one she could safely talk to, even if they didn’t have much of a friendship yet.
The one person she wanted to talk with refused to see her anymore, thought of her as a cheater and a liar. Once Lily told Ty the truth about her past, he’d forgive her deceit and they could build a future together built on open honesty.
She hoped. She prayed.
She regretted not telling Ty the truth tonight and clearing up the misunderstanding. But the way his eyes turned so dark, so cold, scared her. It wasn’t Ty she feared, but the lost look in his eyes.
She’d clammed up and went on the defensive instead of telling the truth. The niggling bit of doubt Thorne planted in the back of her brain took over, and she caved instead of following her heart.
Lily followed the lines in the ceiling. The cracks were like a mirror to her soul. Fissures that didn’t seem too harmful until closer inspection showed how they grew in length and depth with time until eventually the building—or her insides—crumbled.
Damian and her father caused the first crack in her, and Ty’s rejection was like a chisel opening the wound even more. She wasn’t worth anything to her father; money and greed trumping her importance in his life. The same could be said for her husband.
She thought she was worth something to Ty, though. Something worth fighting for.
The chisel dug deeper into her chest, and Lily rolled over into a tight ball again. This time she let the tears pour out. She cried until her gut clenched and contracted into involuntary spasms over and over and over again.
The muscles in her sides ached, and she continued to sob until the sliver of the moon peeked through the slits between her blinds. The last thing she remembered before finally drifting to sleep was the wetness of the pillow beneath her cheek.
THE RINGING OF THE alarm on her phone chimed from the living room where she’d dropped her purse before crawling into bed. Her body was numb yet ached at the same time. She didn’t want to move, to get up. Ever. Knowing the phone wouldn’t stop until she turned it off, she dragged her lifeless body out of bed and fumbled in her purse for her phone, turning it off without looking at the caller.
Barely opening her eyes, she went to the kitchen to make coffee. It would be a four-cup minimum morning. She leaned against the counter and swayed while the water heated. Too impatient to wait for the entire pot to brew, she took two cups out of the cabinet and filled one while the other caught the dripping coffee.
Without the caffeine fueling her body, she moved sluggishly, making a mess on her counter. And she didn’t care. Returning the pot, she yanked open the fridge for her creamer and stirred her coffee.
It burned her throat and lips as she guzzled, and she didn’t care. Ty didn’t want to kiss her anymore anyway.
Slowly she made her way to her tiny bathroom and set her mug on the counter. She left the folding doors to the laundry area open and closed them, remembering the first time Ty had been inside her apartment. Crouched on his knees and holding her black thong between his fingertips in an expression of shock, horror, embarrassment, and maybe a tinge of lust. Or so she’d hoped at the time.
Pushing back the memory, she glanced up and gawked at her reflection. Eyes red and puffy and hair matted against the side of her head, she’d seen better days. Hoping a shower would make her appear more put together than the mess going on inside, she turned on the tap and stripped while waiting for the water to heat.
Twenty minutes later, dressed in black leggings, a long, loose black top and black flats, she pulled her dry hair back in a ponytail and checked out her reflection again. Despite her summer tan, her skin was ashen. If she showed up to work looking like this, everyone would ask what was wrong. And since the whole freaking town knew about her and Ty, they’d all know they had a lover’s quarrel.
That’s what they’d assume, at least. A lover’s quarrel meant two people were in love. It seemed the love was only one-sided. If Ty loved her, he’d have had more patience with her. His eyes wouldn’t have glossed over blocking her from seeing inside. She’d promised him she’d tell him later. With something as major as her past, she wasn’t about to blurt it out while he was in such a mood. He needed to understand that.
Despite being married for five years, relationships were a new thing for her. Her family didn’t exactly model effective communication. She’d screwed up, but once she told Ty everything he’d forgive her.
Yes. She’d tell him. Lily took out her makeup bag and made up her face with a new determination. She’d had all night to wallow in her pity party, to cry, to process, to make decisions.
Screw Agent Thorne. Lily knew what was best for her and Ty was the answer. After work she’d force her way back into his life and tell him everything. If he couldn’t handle knowing about her past or if he threatened her safety, she’d pack up and leave.
With new confidence, she marched downstairs and opened the spa, ready to take on a new day.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mia asked after her last client left. “Even Willie asked me what was up with you.”
“I’m tired is all.” Lily swept her station, turning her back on Mia. She thought she’d done a decent job of hiding the hurt, the fear that Ty wouldn’t want to see her. Apparently not.
“Normally I’d roll my eyes and scoff at your sex life with my brother, but you don’t have that morning afterglow, so I’m gonna say you being tired isn’t from doing the nasty.”
If nasty meant crying until snot streamed out your nose and you looked like the bride of Frankenstein in the morning, then, yeah, it was from doing the nasty. Ignoring Mia, Lily swept up the hair and dropped it in the trash.
She had twenty minutes before her next client was due to arrive and used it to clean her already organized station. When she felt Mia’s stare looming over her, she moved to the cash register and pretended to go through the appointment calendar.
A highlight coming in would keep her busy for a few hours. Then a trim, an eyebrow wax, and... crap. Ruth Bergeron’s hair. Even though Thorne said his grandmother didn’t know about his connection to her, Lily still worried. Not so much for herself, but for the Bergerons safety.
They were what connected Thorne to her. Hopefully they’d be moving sooner rather than later. Grace made it sound like opening her shop in the fall was a possibility, if all went according to plan.
“Tired of him already?”
“What?” Lily blinked away her thoughts and looked up at Mia.
“Ty’s a pretty boring dude.” Mia leaned on her elbows across the counter, her chin cupped in her palms as her eyes scrunched in scrutiny.
Lily shook her head and glanced away. “Ty’s not boring.”
He’s amazing. Talented, funny, sweet, loyal, kind.
“Then you’re just as boring. All the guy does is work. He needs some excitement in his life.
I thought you’d be the one to give him that.”
Lily snorted. Oh, her life before Crystal Cove was exciting, terrifyingly exciting. It had been nothing but mundane since she moved here. Which was perfect.
“You’re the one with the active life, Mia. I have the spa and our once a month book club meetings.”
“Which is why you’re perfect for my brother. I know he’d never give you up. So you did the dumping, huh?”
“What makes you think that?”
“Like I said. Ty hasn’t had a girlfriend in... forever. So what did he do to piss you off?”
“I’m not having this conversation with you, Mia.” Lily closed the appointment book and walked away.
Thankfully Mia only worked Tuesday and Wednesday mornings and would be leaving soon. Annie was busy with her pedicures in the next room over, and Kendra was tucked away upstairs in the massage rooms. Once Mia left, Lily could distract herself with work and keeping the conversation about her clients’ lives instead of her own.
An hour later, Lily’s hands busy on Nancy Thimbleton’s highlights, Mia came over and rested a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m done, but you can come over later if you... need to talk or anything.” She gave a reassuring squeeze and left.
“I hope someday Mia can settle down the way her brother has with you. You two make a lovely couple.”
“Um. Thank you.” Lily had never talked about Ty with Mrs. Thimbleton and didn’t think the sixty-year-old woman would care much about her personal life.
“Celeste Parker is a gem. Isn’t she? She’s just itching for grandchildren.”
Lily bit her lip as she listened to her ramble on about the Parker family and how wonderful they were. As if Lily didn’t already know this.
Her next two appointments were more of the same, Lily dodging the subtle and not-so-subtle questions about her love life. She couldn’t imagine the town being so nosey with Ty. Granted, he didn’t leave his house much unless it was for work or to hang out at The Happy Clam.
Now that Hope had Cameron to watch over her, he spent less time at the restaurant and more time at Lily’s. Or at his home with Lily. Now that he wanted nothing to do with her, she wondered if he’d go back to his usual stool at the bar.
Hope said he never drank much. Maybe a beer. It was mostly to hang out with her while she worked. Hope would know how to handle the situation with Ty, but then Lily would need to tell her about her past, something Thorne had said the less people knew the better.
It weighed on her. The pressure of doing what was right based on what the FBI agent said was right and what she felt in her heart.
Finally, her last client was done, Kendra and Annie were gone, and she locked up the spa. Running up the stairs to her apartment, she changed into a cute skirt and blouse, slid into flip-flops, and hurried back down the stairs again.
She thought about calling Thorne first, letting him know she was going to tell Ty everything, but she didn’t want to risk the chance of being talked out of it. Fifteen minutes later she pulled into Ty’s driveway, and her heart sank. His truck wasn’t there.
Maybe he was still at work. Or eating dinner at his parents’ house. Lily got out of her car and sat on his front steps. When the sun got too much and her underarms started to sweat, she let herself into his house. He hadn’t asked for his key back, so technically she wasn’t intruding.
Something was off. All was quiet, which was normal, but a cool shiver ran down her arms even though the air in the house was thick with heat. The windows were closed up. Odd. He wouldn’t do that to Meatball.
Lily spotted the empty dog bed in the corner of the living room. Not uncommon. Meatball didn’t always sleep in it.
“Meatball,” she called, not expecting to hear the tick tick of claws on the hardwood floor. He wasn’t the type of dog to come running when called. Searching the kitchen and coming up empty, she checked Ty’s bedroom.
His side of the bed was in tangles while her side was still neatly made from the night before. A pile of dirty clothes sat on the floor next to the bed. Very out of character for Ty who always put his clothes in the laundry basket in his closet.
Tempted as she was to clean up after him, she left the mess and continued her search for Meatball. There weren’t too many places to hide.
Coming up empty, Lily figured Ty must have brought the dog with him. Good. They needed each other. And she needed them.
Another hour went by and still no sign of them. At nine o’clock, her hunger pains jabbing at the hollowness inside, she picked up her keys and left.
That night and the following day were more of the same. Empty, painful tears followed by a mask of everything’s alright while working. She didn’t want to go to book night, but not showing up would make the girls talk even more.
Making sure she looked and dressed the part of normalcy, Lily stuffed her book in her purse and walked downtown to Books by the Ocean. Jenna was already there, setting out the chips and guacamole and plate of cookies she’d made.
“Oh. Crap.” Lily had been assigned drinks this week, and she’d come empty-handed. Whoever was on drink duty never forgot her job.
“What’s the matter?” Jenna flicked her long hair over her shoulder and looked up at Lily.
“I, uh...” She could rush over to Boon’s General Store real quick, if she had her car. It was only two miles down the road, but by the time she ran back home to grab her car and rushed to the store, she’d be late. Not that it mattered, but she’d make an entrance and everyone would tease her about getting it on with Ty.
It was either that or have no alcohol and really be the center of attention.
“I left the drinks in, uh, my car. I’ll be right back.” Lily turned and crashed into Hope.
“Hey. Woah. Where’re you going?” Hope grabbed on to Lily’s upper arms for support.
“The drinks. They’re in my car.”
“I’ll help you with them.”
“No.” Lilly slipped from her grasp and shook her head. “I’ll be right back.”
Mia came through the front door, blocking her path. “Leaving so soon?”
“She forgot the drinks,” Jenna called from behind them.
Mia’s eyebrow shot up, and her eyes squinted in that scrutinizing manner she gave the day before. “No one forgets the drinks.”
“We’re not all alcoholics,” Lily tried to joke. “My life doesn’t revolve around having a drink in hand.”
None of them were alcoholics. Sure, Mia spent many Friday and Saturday nights at clubs and bars, but that was the way she socialized. The rest of them enjoyed a cocktail or a glass of wine when they got together, that was all. Still, her attempt at humor fell flat.
“Sorry I’m late.” Grace sauntered through the door, nearly crashing into Mia. “We hanging by the door tonight? My feet are killing me. I was hoping to lounge on the couch with a dry martini in hand.”
Grace looked from Hope to Lily to Mia and back to Lily again. Her perfectly arched eyebrow lifted, and her carefree attitude shifted to something more intense. Serious. UnGracelike.
“What’s going on?” She gave props to Grace for keeping her voice nonchalant, even when her eyes met Lily’s, the fear evident in the intensity of her stare.
“Lily left the booze in her car,” Jenna said so innocently from across the room.
“Yeah. And my car’s at the spa. So”—Lily shrugged—“I’m going to hoof down the road. I’ll be back in a few.”
“I’ll give you a hand,” they all said in unison.
“I appreciate it,” Lily said, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “You girls start in on Jenna’s goodies. I’ll be right back.”
“I don’t think so.” Mia blocked the door and crossed her arms, trying to appear intimidating in her five-foot-two frame.
“Lily? Mia? What’s going on?” Hope, the voice of reason, stepped in front of Mia and faced Lily. “Are you okay?”
“Sure.” She laughed it off. “Silly me. Busy
day and I forgot the drinks. It’s no big deal.”
“It’s gorgeous out. Why don’t we all walk together? Burn off the calories before we eat and drink them,” Jenna said as she joined them by the door.
“Good idea,” this from Mia, the guard dog.
“Why don’t we give the poor woman some air?” Grace draped her arm across Lily’s shoulders. “I’m sure she has bigger things to think about than book club.” Lily tensed under her hold. “Like her gorgeous boyfriend. If I had him at my beck and call, book club would sure as hell be the last thing I was thinking about.”
Lily knew she meant well, and most likely assumed her forgetfulness was due to the stress of her past coming out. That was partially true. Right now she worried more about losing Ty than losing her new identity.
How she wanted to unload the burden of it all on to her friends. Not before she told Ty. He’d be even more hurt if he found out he was the last to learn about Veronica Stewart.
The last to know. Without realizing it, Lily had made a decision. She didn’t want to hide anymore. Well, hide from the bad guys, yes, but not from her friends and loved ones in Crystal Cove.
She wouldn’t take out a newspaper ad or make an announcement on social media, but her close circle of friends needed to know the truth. More than that, she needed to tell them.
But not before Ty.
“The truth is,” Lily started, “I completely forgot I was the booze girl tonight.”
“Love will do that to you,” Jenna sighed.
“I can call Alexis. See if she’s left yet,” Hope offered. Living on a winery, Alexis had an endless supply of liquid therapy at her fingertips. “Or I can grab a bottle of tequila from the bar.”
“I’m okay skipping the drinks tonight.” A collective gasp came from all of them as they turned to stare at Mia. “What?” She lifted her hands. “You girls are the ones who need to get out more. Loosen up a little. Well, maybe not Grace. I hear she’s already—”
“Mia!” Lily reprimanded. Alexis wasn’t here to come to her sister’s defense, so Lily took it upon herself to stand up for the only person, other than the FBI, who knew who she really was.
What Makes Us Stronger (A Well Paired Novel Book 3) Page 20
