by S. L. Scott
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“I know, but it made some kind of sense to me then, though. I was so screwed up. I think I still might be.” I look straight ahead, ashamed, but finally admit, “I was Lani’s first…and only.”
“Mallory has dark hair—”
“I’ve never seen Lani in Mallory. Mallory gives me peace. She’s different. I feel calm, whole, when I’m with her. I can feel my heart again. I thought it was gone. God, I sound so lame.” I’m embarrassed for opening up like this.
“No, you don’t and I have a feeling that that’s the first time you’ve ever told the full story.”
I look over my shoulder realizing the waves have picked up. I position myself forward on my board, and say, “Yeah, maybe.” I start paddling, but before I steal the first wave, I look back at him. “Thanks for listening, man.” The tip of my board rises up on the wave as it grows in height and I paddle hard, focusing all my energy on this one wave. I pop up onto my feet and ride it in. I feel good, freer, lighter. I do a few cut backs across the water that’s returning me to shore.
When I get into my car, I text Mallory before heading home, but she doesn’t respond. I don’t blame her after how my mom treated her, or with all the shit I’ve laid on her.
After taking a long nap, I jump in the shower. When I walk out, I find my dad sitting on my couch. I stop and look at him, not knowing what I should say, if anything.
He leans forward resting his forearms on his knees, and breaks the silence. “I want to take you to dinner.” He looks out the window, his discomfort clear in his actions. “I want to spend a little more time with you before I leave tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Meet me at the car in ten,” he says as he walks toward the door. “Oh and, Evan?” He stops and looks back over his shoulders. “Invite Murphy and Zach along. I’d like to get to know your friends better.”
“I will. Thanks.”
I get dressed knowing this is a unique opportunity. When I was in New York I didn’t see him except when I was in the office. I hated being confined in that office, another reason why I left.
My father loves his Porsche. My appreciation for driving finer vehicles is inherited from him. After sliding into his Carrera, we spend a few minutes in silence. I break it this time. Only seems fair. “You have to leave tomorrow? Not much of a vacation this year.”
“Your mother said she told you about the board and the possibility of a handover to a management firm. I want to be present to make sure that doesn’t happen. If I take my eye off the ball even for a second, I could lose Ashford Holdings, and I’m not willing to let that happen. I’ve worked too hard to be handed a retirement check and told to go away.”
“Dad, I don’t really understand how this works, but I’m assuming it’s because it’s a public company. So, you have to answer to the board?”
“Yes, the board represents our shareholders and clientele, but our family still holds majority stock. If the board gets their way, that could change. That’s why it’s important for you to be a part of this meeting in August. Can you do that, son? Will you help us so we don’t lose our company?”
I gulp hard, the importance of this upcoming meeting starting to burden my shoulders. I glance at my dad as he’s driving and see the worry, the concern in his eyes. I’ve lived frivolously for a long time now. My parents have given me the time with little argument. It’s time I give something back in return. A meeting is easy. I’ll fly in and fly out. Then I’ll be back in paradise in no time. “Yes. Kate and I will fight for the family.”
He exhales his relief, reaching over and grabbing my shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. “Thank you, Evan. I knew I could count on you.”
“Of course, Dad.”
Zach and Murphy are already seated at the table on the patio of the restaurant. They never turn down a free meal. After a quick greeting between us, Murphy stands, holding his hand out to my dad who takes it. “Sir, thank you for inviting me to dinner, Sir.” His nerves are clearly showing. I’ll let him sweat it out on his own. That will teach him for dating my sister and Hugh Ashford’s daughter.
My dad removes his hand from Murphy’s before sitting down across from me and next to him. “Thanks for coming and please try to relax. I’m not here judging you, but I do have some questions for you concerning my daughter.”
We order our food and a pitcher of beer. As my father quizzes Murphy regarding his intentions toward Kate, I sit back anxiously waiting for Sunny to text Zach, as she promised. Mallory hasn’t left my mind, but I’m looking forward to this time with my dad.
The surf contest has ended, but Zach has told me to lay off the calls and texts today. She’s ‘working’ on her and needs more time. The problem is that I’ve been on edge thinking about her—needing to be near her. At this point, I might even take her saying goodbye to me just to hear her voice again.
I hear Murphy pleading his case to my father. “Yes, it is early in our relationship, but I feel strongly for her. I respect her decisions concerning this fall. I have one more semester of school and then will be making a lot of big decisions myself.”
Murphy’s conversation with my dad draws me back to the restaurant and I watch this six foot four, two hundred plus man quiver like a teenager.
My dad pats Murphy on the back, and says, “I appreciate your good intentions and I look forward to spending more time with you in New York when you visit.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Please call me Hugh,” my dad says, laughing.
Zach’s phone rings. The smile on his face tells us it’s Sunny without him saying a word. He stands and walks a few feet away. His eyes dart to mine then he looks down.
I can tell something is wrong when he straightens his back. My stomach tightens and my posture matches his. Mallory. I stand, my worry getting the best of me. As soon as the phone is away from his ear, he says, “I need a ride to the hospital. Can someone give me one?”
“What’s wrong,” I ask, my heart beating hard in my chest.
“Sunny hurt her hand again while helping Johnny.”
I exhale, relieved it’s not about Mallory, but my dick move is noticed by all and now relief turns to guilt. “I’ll take you.” I offer because my friend needs a ride and Sunny is pure good and deserved better than to be overlooked by my messed up emotions.
“Thank you,” Zach says.
My dad stands as I do, and tosses money on the table. Then he says, “Evan I drove you. I can take you both to the hospital.”
I’d forgotten that minor detail.
Zach looks at Murphy then back to my dad. “Murphy drove, Mr. Ashford. He can drive me.”
“No, no. We should all go. I know you’re all friends with her.”
“Thanks,” Zach adds, turning around and walking toward the exit.
We’re close to the hospital, so the drive is short. Murphy drops Zach off in front of the ER. My dad parks and even though I’m concerned about Sunny and what happened, I’m suddenly nervous I might see Mallory inside. Will she talk to me? Will she even look at me?
Murphy walks up behind us as we enter through the sliding glass doors. Zach is at the counter talking to a nurse and I scan the waiting area for those familiar green eyes. I’m disappointed when I only find two men watching the TV in the corner. Turning back to Zach, I lean against the counter next to him. “Any word?”
“She’ll be out in a sec. On the phone she said she was helping Johnny with a table when she twisted her wrist, tweaking her hand that she hurt before.”
“Is she getting a cast?” My dad asks. His own worry is showing through his expression. I appreciate his concern for my friends.
“Zach!”
We turn toward the direction of his name being called and find Sunny smiling as she hurries down the corridor and into his arms. Johnny is behind her and a girl I don’t recognize. Mallory is not with them.
I’m trying to be sensitive to Sunny’s pain, but the pai
n in my heart is building, wondering where she could be.
When she releases Zach, she leans over the counter toward the nurse, and asks, “Am I free to go?”
“Not just yet,” she replies while staring at her monitor. “We need to make a copy of your insurance card and for you to pay the co-pay first.”
Sunny digs down into her pocket and pulls out her ID and bankcard but there’s nothing else except a stick of gum. She looks up, her expression falling. “It’s in my van which is parked at the beach. Johnny drove me here.”
“We’ll need the card or you’ll need to pay half the bill before I can release you,” the nurse adds, a sympathetic smile appearing.
My dad steps forward and asks Sunny, “Do you remember who your insurance carrier is? Maybe we can call them.”
“No, I can’t. Last time I was here, I was out of it from the medication they gave me.”
The nurse looks up, her lips tightening as she ponders. “I can’t release her without the co-pay or fifty-percent of the total as a deposit.”
Dad turns toward Sunny and says, “Come over here and we’ll call your parents.”
Sunny, Zach, my father, and Murphy all go together. I stay with my back pressed against the counter and cross my arms.
“I know this is a touchy subject, but Mallory told me what happened at the party.”
I turn and look at Johnny, the girl with him joining the others.
“She hasn’t heard my side,” I say, looking down at the shiny linoleum floors. “She won’t talk to me.”
“She cares about you. I know that much.”
“Don’t know if that’s enough anymore.”
A quiet contemplation settles between us.
“Mallory left with Noah after the contest,” Johnny adds.
My head practically spins on my neck when I turn toward Johnny. “What?”
He takes a deep breath and a short exhale, nervous to speak. “Don’t freak out. Okay... It’s completely innocent, but she went to celebrate with him. He won Southern Shores and his family is having a luau for him. She said she’d never been to one.”
“He won?” I look at him as if his previous statement will change. It doesn’t. “Fuck, he did it! He finally won,” I say more to myself than to Johnny.
“It’s huge! He’ll get sponsored and compete in the series down in New Zealand,” Johnny adds.
Murphy joins the conversation. “Yep, Southern Shores stepped it up this year. They’ll sponsor him for the surfing season there. I bet he’ll have to leave soon.” Murphy laughs, looking at me. “One less thing you’ll have to worry about, my friend.”
This is a lot to process. I can’t believe Noah is leaving the island like he always wanted and that makes me grin. The small part of me that remembers our friendship, knows this was his dream and its coming true. “Man, even my cold heart has to smile at that shit.”
With Noah leaving soon, I try to trust that Mallory is only celebrating her friend’s victory with him and it’s not a celebration of any other sorts. I attempt to convince myself of this, though deep down, I feel major jealousy that she’s chosen to spend time with him, especially after last night. It makes me wonder if she’s thought about me at all. Worse, I’m now worried I may never get the chance to make this right with her.
My dad calls me over to sit with him away from the others. When I do, he says, “Sunny’s parents aren’t answering, but they found her insurance details from the last time she was here. I’m going to cover the bill. I know she can’t afford it and I don’t want her stuck here for hours. While they print the paperwork, I’d like to talk business with you. I’m leaving tomorrow and don’t know if I’ll have time before then and I have a conference call tonight.”
“No, it’s fine. What’s this about?” Dread settles in well aware that we’re going to be talking about a job back in New York. All the reasons I usually have handy to explain why I should stay in Hawaii are escaping me.
“I’d like to talk about your plans first. Are you going to return to school?”
I lean back in my chair, sliding down in my seat. Turning to look him in the eyes, I say, “Um… yes. I missed the deadlines for Yale, and U of Hawaii. I looked into The University of Colorado, but I missed their last admissions deadline by three weeks.”
He’s sitting upright, but his tone is relaxed. “Is that where Mallory attends?”
“Yes.”
“So, it’s more serious than your mother thinks?”
“Yes. I’m considering going back with her.”
“And what does she think about that? I don’t think she can afford to support you.”
When I look at my friends they are staring at me, shocked by my revelation.
Shrugging off the uncomfortable feeling of all eyes on me, I respond the best way I know how. “I haven’t told her that I’d looked into it because I didn’t want her to be disappointed. I don’t want her stressing, thinking she’ll have to support me. I can get a job.”
“Sounds like you’re talking from your heart, but you’re using your head. I think Mallory might be good for you although your mother is not convinced. You should talk to your mother soon because she has strong ideas about your future.” He sits back and looks out at the beach across the street. Just when I think he’s deep in thought, he turns to me and states, “You’re in love with Mallory.” His gaze meets mine. “That’s what you said or rather shouted in the middle of the party last night.”
Feeling awkward, I search for a much needed distraction. But my friends suck and leave me in the hot-seat by acting like they aren’t eavesdropping. I feel my face heat and face him straight on. “I love her, dad.”
He smiles, the corners of his mouth gently edging up, and says, “Well, since you can’t attend school with her, how about earning some money with the promise you’ll enroll somewhere in the spring? I can offer you $125,000 a year starting out as an active Board Member with Office Responsibilities. You can earn $42k by Christmas. That’s a good deal, son.”
“What does ‘Office Responsibilities’ mean?”
“I have to somehow justify a board member receiving a large salary. You’ll work in the office like the rest of us. You don’t have your degree, so I can’t give you clients, but you can train in that time period.” He reaches over and pats my hand. “I want you to seriously consider this job. It’s a solid offer and works well for building your resume. Then in the spring, I expect you to pick a school and graduate. If it’s from Colorado then so be it, but I want you to finish your education.”
It is a really good offer, very generous, and I’m family, carrying on the Ashford name. There are built-in burdens that come along with that title alone.
“Mr. Ashford?” the nurse calls him to her station. “You know by signing, you’re responsible for her bill in full if she doesn’t pay?”
“Yes, that’s fine,” he says with a nod of his head.
“Ashford, as in Evan Ashford?” A filing clerk standing behind the nurse questions.
I step up to the counter as my dad responds, “Yes, that’s my son.”
The clerk looks embarrassed as everyone stares at her. She shakes her head and slams the cabinet drawer closed. “Oh, I’ve just heard the name before… must be from the files or something. Sorry to interrupt. Just sounded familiar.”
My dad turns back to the nurse after signing the paperwork.
She tells Sunny she can go and the group starts walking out the door. I start to walk, but pause, unsettled by the clerk’s familiarity with me. My name is trashed in Hawaii, the Ashford name filling the papers and becoming gossip fodder. Usually that doesn’t weigh on me much, my own life feeling protected among my group of friends and hangouts where I’m not judged by my sins. But her eyes told me the lies behind her words. She definitely knows my name and now I’m curious to know why.
Needing answers, I turn back and approach the desk again. “May I speak with you?”
The older nurse in the chair raises her eyeb
rows at the younger clerk and smiles. The nurse must think I’m flirting with the clerk.
She straightens her scrubs, and says, “Sure,” with a heavy gulp. “It’s time for my break anyway.”
When she walks out from behind the counter, she leads me outside. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“That means you know something about me. Please tell me.”
She steps to the corner of the building. An ashtray pushed up against the building indicates this is where the medical staff smoke. She pulls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her pocket and lights up.
I watch with trepidation, wondering why she knows me or more specifically, of me. She blows out a big puff of smoke and begins. “I could lose my job for telling you confidential information, but I ran across a file the other day. That’s why I was surprised to hear your name.”
“A file with my name in it?”
She nods. “It was Lani Kalei’s file.”
Exasperation drops my shoulders, and I say, “Yeah, that. I’m sure my name is all over her file.”
She looks around, making sure no other eyes are on us before she speaks again. “I have full access to patient records. I also read the papers after the accident. Lani’s record is sealed, marked confidential. But three days ago, the newly renovated files department opened and we had to re-file all of the old ones into the new department. That file was among twenty others that were re-classified. We had to create a new folder for it because the judge’s request to seal the Kalei file expired three months ago.”
“You mean it’s public?”
“No. No medical file is public, but it’s accessible with the right permissions in place and I’ve seen it since I had to re-organize it. As I said, I could get fired for telling you this, but I know the battle you’ve fought with the press. They made you out to be her killer, but you aren’t.”
“I couldn’t save her,” I say, my head shaking. “I tried though. I tried so hard.”
“You couldn’t have saved her.”
“I should have.”
“I’ve seen the damage this has done to you publicly and I can only imagine how it has affected you privately, so I’m gonna get to the point. Lani Kalei didn’t die from drowning. I saw her death certificate. She had a small tear in one of her heart valves and that is listed as the cause of death. The doctor-on-call’s final diagnosis was clearly written. She didn’t drown.”
