Although her stomach pitched, she managed to keep from turning toward the store. "I bet he's glad you're back. You two are always a welcome sight in town. With your similar looks and horses to match. Did Ashley come as well?"
Bronson's demeanor sobered. "No, he refuses coming to town. Going through one of them dark spells. You know how my brother is."
"Yes, a loner. But Ashley is a good man," Nora replied meaning it.
"Thank you for saying so. He is." Bronson stood. "I just stopped by when I saw you sitting here, but I better get going. Picking up some shirts Ma ordered for us. Take care, Nora." Bronson touched the tip of his hat and strolled away whistling.
A frown formed at considering how his behavior around her changed and it made her glad for it. She'd always liked Bronson and was happy to keep his friendship.
Nora rose and turned to the mercantile, not sure if she was thankful for not working today. Seeing Grayson again was inevitable, sooner or later she'd run into him, yet right now she was not ready to face him and not be affected. No, she did not have the strength. With a lift of her skirts she went back inside into the dim interior.
The words on the page of her book were not clear, not that it mattered, she wasn't reading it, not really. For who knew how many times, she once again reread the paragraph only to lift her eyes to the door. Should she go out and risk running into Grayson? Although she'd opened the curtains, the sunlight was not as alluring inside as it had been outdoors.
She turned back to the page and attempted to read once again when the sound of an approaching buggy got her attention. Still the knock on the door made her drop the book onto the floor with a hollow thump.
Her lips curved. Of course, Olivia promised to stop by and here she was, crazy from being stuck inside she was glad to get out with her friend. A smile on her face, she opened the door and gasped.
His face shadowed from the sun behind him and the hat he wore made it hard to tell what his expression was. Grayson loomed in the doorway completely filling it. "Hello, Nora."
She stepped back with a sharp breath. His arm reached around her and crushed her to him. The familiar scent of him and the hard body against hers almost brought her to tears, she lifted her face to tell him to release her, but his mouth covered hers with a hungry urgency that silenced her words. On the contrary, her body screamed for more.
His mouth ravished hers while he walked her backwards into the house, the door closing firmly behind them. Her lips parted and his tongue moved in to take even more from her, at the same time she dug her fingers through his shoulder length hair enjoying the feel of the silky tresses. A deep moan escaped Grayson.
Nora clung onto this shoulders savoring the taste of peppermint he'd obviously just eaten. When his lips slid to the corner of her mouth, he moved his hands to the small of her back. Trailing kisses to her ear, he pressed a soft kiss behind it.
"I miss you, Nora," Grayson whispered into her now highly sensitive lobe that tingled with the warmth of his breath. "Can't stop thinking about you."
"Grayson," Nora was breathless, "I can't do this. We..."
His mouth took hers again, his tongue plunging back in and silencing whatever she would say. Truth be told, she wasn't sure what she planned to tell him.
Placing both hands on either side of his face, she pushed his hair back and lifted him away. "Grayson, what are you doing?"
His now kiss swollen lips curved. "I'm kissing you."
"Not that." She attempted not to smile, but failed. "I mean you and me, we're no longer engaged. I thought you planned to move on after what you said last time."
Both eyebrows lifted and he blinked several times, "What did I say?"
"Come outside, let's sit." Nora attempted to pull him toward the door. It would be a horrible incident if her mother had walked in on them while they groped each other without regard for propriety.
Unmoving, Grayson pulled her back against him. "I miss you." This time he pressed his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. "I don't know what do to about you."
"What do you mean?" Nora searched his face only to see confusion. "Grayson, you told me the thought of settling down was a bad thing."
A frown formed. "I did?"
"Yes," she insisted, taking his hand and attempting to pull him to the door. "You have to understand I won't continue in this type of a relationship with you. I live with Mother, now."
The stubborn cowboy moved toward her and she attempted to step away to find herself against the wall. "This type?" His mouth went to her throat and the wicked tongue of his began to swirl against her skin, down to the top of her breast. Nora moaned and wrapped one arm around his shoulders and with her other hand held the back of his head.
His hard body held her a willing prisoner while he took his time tasting every inch of her exposed skin. Just as she was about to lose control, Grayson lifted his lips from her throat but continued to hold her against him. His breath came in short hard pants and from the tenseness of his muscles, she could tell he fought for composure as much as she did.
"I'm sorry. Need a minute," he said still breathless, not allowing her away from him. "I can't let you go." A resigned sound in his words, although soft.
"I don't know what you mean. Grayson, I'm trying my best to help you by not asking for anything, urging you to move on." Nora jerked away from his arms. "As long as you are not near, I can stay strong, but not when this happens." She motioned to the room with both arms. No longer caring that he knew everything. It was time for her to tell him exactly how she felt. "I cannot be indifferent to you, Grayson, I care too much. Always have. But now after what's happened between us, every time we come together you take a piece of me when you leave."
He stood stock-still, the only part that moved was his chest with every breath. Darkened eyes locked to her, she commanded his rapt attention.
"Don't you see," she continued, "I'm not angry with you for you've always been, honest and clear. You have no intention of marrying me, which although hard to accept, I understand. But my heart doesn't, Grayson." Nora tore her eyes from his face. "My heart wants you every day. I want to fall asleep to you and wake to you. I want to share my life with you and hold you, be with you every day."
Unwilling to see the rejection or listen to anything he'd say to assure her, Nora rushed to the front door and threw it open. "Please, leave."
He stepped away and turned to the door. "I don't want to stop seeing you. Give me time to work things out, Nora." He took her hand and put it up to his face, his eyes bore into hers. "That's all I'm asking you for, time, I know I have many faults. My reputation as a womanizer is justified. But I promise you, I haven't been with anyone since you. I'm trying. Don't give up on me. Not yet. Please, Nora."
Breath left her body at the mixture of fear and pleading emanating from the normally distant man. "I don't...know what to say."
"Say you'll give me a chance. Say we're still engaged. Knowing how you feel for me makes me want to try harder. To be a better man for you."
Before she could reply, he neared and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Come to supper at my parents tomorrow. I'll come get you." A genuine smile lit up his gorgeous face and Nora could not help but return it.
"All right. I will."
"Good. That's good." Grayson seemed almost nervous when he stepped onto the porch and retrieved his hat from the floorboards. "You knocked it off my head when you threw yourself at me," he informed her at her playful look.
"Grayson Cole, I did no such thing." Nora enjoyed kidding with him. "Wait." She ran inside and grabbed her shawl. "Walk me to Olivia's house."
His eyebrows shot up and his chest visibly puffed. "I'd be proud to walk you anywhere you'd like. How about if we stroll past the mercantile first? That way I can ensure your mother is aware of the supper invite."
Nora nodded and smiled back. God, was it possible they'd actually make it work?
Grayson rode alongside Bronson who drove the wagon full of provisions from
town.
The surprising turn of events after spending time with Nora lightened his mood. He'd planned to avoid her, but had practically run there after Bronson told him he'd visited her.
Her kisses, her plush body had driven him crazy. If she'd but given any indication she was willing, he'd taken her right there against the wall. Even remembering the hot kisses, her hands sliding down his back, took his breath.
Almost three months without seeing her had been torturous; he planned to use the time away to ensure they no longer saw each other. His plan was to keep a distance if he ever ran into her, but it would be easier to cut off his own leg than to stay away from Nora Banks.
"You're in love." Bronson's statement shook him from his thoughts. "Just admit it and you'll feel better."
"What nonsense you spouting about, brother?" Grayson shot a glare at his twin who smiled back.
"I said you're in love with Nora."
Grayson snorted not ready to reply to his brother who as usual didn't know when to stop.
"I remember that look. Seen it before."
"Shut up, Bronson."
"Nope, not going to stop talking until you admit it. Hell, it's about time one of us seriously fell. Might as well be you."
"What about you? I thought you cared for her."
"Yeah, well, I still do, but not like you. If I'd had the opportunity to get closer to her I have no doubt it would have happened. But looks like you and her are meant to be."
"I'm sorry, brother," Grayson said meaning it. "Not sure I deserve Nora. Trying to see if I can make a commitment to her, but that fear in my chest makes me stop breathing. Can't risk another time like with Sophia, I can't..."
Bronson pulled the wagon to a stop. The startled horses looked back to see what happened as he climbed from the wagon and motioned with one hand for Grayson to do the same.
Once they stood face to face, his twin placed his hand on Grayson's shoulder. "Be honest with me."
The grave expression took him aback. "I'm always honest with you, you're good at figuring out when I'm not."
His brother's scrutiny deepened. "What feels worse, right now? The fear of what could happen in the future or the thought of never seeing Nora again?”
Images of a bruised Nora, of burying her, the helplessness of not being able to do anything while she lay dying, were slowly overlapped by those of her walking arm and arm with him earlier, of her lush curves under his palms, her honey brown eyes sparkling when she'd accepted his invitation for dinner.
"She accepted to come for supper tomorrow," Grayson said stalling for time. "When I asked her, I thought she'd say no. Something began to squeeze in my chest, I thought she'd tell me to go and not come back. Ever."
"And when she accepted?" Bronson prompted.
"I could breathe."
"I'm right, then."
"God, Bronson, I do love her."
Bronson laughed. "Your expression of terror is more of a man told he's gonna hang in the morning than one who realized how lucky he is."
"I shouldn't be scared."
His brother's calm smile filled him with love for the one person he felt closest to. "No, Gray, you shouldn't be scared, you deserve to feel happy, excited. Look what God gave you. Another opportunity to love and be loved. Take it from me, that's hard to come by."
"Yeah, well, you'll find someone."
"That's why I need to get you married off. Then I can be the Cole brother all the women are after."
Grayson threw his head back and laughed. "It's not as great as it sounds."
"So you say." Bronson shook his head and looked past him toward the ranch. "Let's get home. Ma will be excited about Nora coming tomorrow."
“Yeah, you go on ahead. I'm gonna go see Sophia."
His brother searched his face for a sign of what Grayson felt. Must have seen what he needed because his shoulders relaxed. "Tell her hello for me."
When Grayson reached the family graveyard, he dismounted and considered if he should pluck some wildflowers. He froze when looking across the patch of land toward Sophia's grave. The entire area was covered in blue flowers; hundreds of them in soft patterns resembling waves.
Grayson could only smile. "I see you've been decorating, Sophia. They're beautiful."
The breeze blew across moving the flowers in accord, as if they preened at his compliment. Grayson removed his hat and sank to the ground next to Sophia's headstone. "I met someone. I think you'd like her..."
He choked when the breeze made the wildflowers sway. "I can't do it Sophia. I can't do it." The familiar constriction in his chest came so fast he almost fell over. "God Sophia, how can I even consider another woman? I--I don't think I can do it, I'm fooling myself aren't I?"
Once again the wildflowers swayed, this time the wind picked up, as if angry at his words. He watched the flowers not sure what to think.
Finally he gave in to the sadness and leaned across her grave. "Losing you hurt so bad Sophia. I can't do go through it again." Tears plopped onto the ground. "I'll have to let Nora go."
"Your Ma sent me to come check on you," Hank Cole said. He walked past Grayson, who now sat on a fallen tree, to stand next to the cross marking Sophia's grave. "You know how she is about you, boy."
"Sakes, Pa, I'm not a five year old that gets lost," Grayson snapped back. Truth be told he was more irritated with himself for making his mother worry than anything else.
His father ignored the outburst. "Well, I did my part." He pulled out his tobacco pouch and proceeded to roll a cigarette. "Bronson says you bringing Nora for supper tomorrow evening."
Each time he considered his plans the next day with Nora his stomach tied into knots. "I'm not sure, now." Shoving his hands deep in to his pockets, Grayson looked directly at his father. "I just can't."
For a second Hank Cole met his stare, his nod was slow. "I see. If you're not ready to move on, then you're not ready. Can't nothing be done about that. It's a shame about Nora, I like that spitfire of a gal." He looked to Sophia's marker once again. "No offense to Sophia, but she was a meek one. You could come and go as you pleased and she never had the backbone to stand up to you."
Grayson had to agree. "Yeah, she did allow me plenty of freedom."
"You know," Hank began watching the smoke from his cigarette swirl. "If you have no intentions of marrying Nora Banks, you owe it to her to let her go. She's a pretty one, will make someone a good wife." He scratched his chin. "I wonder if her and Ashley maybe could get to know each other."
Grayson's eyes bulged. "Ashley?"
"Why not?" Walking in a circle now, Hank nodded, his eyes downward. "He needs to settle down, quit with all the moping about. A strong woman like that would be good for him."
"Pa, you expect me to tell her I'm not interested and then offer up my brother?" It was difficult to swallow past his suddenly dry throat. "I won't do that, I can't see her with Ashley."
"What about Bronson?"
"No, Pa." Grayson huffed. "It would be easier for me if she wasn't around here."
"So you care for her then?"
Grayson pushed at the dirt with the toe of his boot. "Yeah, I do."
"Then you want her to be happy. Son, the girl's reputation is going to be in tatters. Already the townsfolk had a field day over the instance at the barn. Now she's going to find herself without a fiancé."
"Her father didn't seem to have any compunction over it, coming here to break the engagement when Ashley was in jail." Grayson mimicked his father and began walking in a slow circle. "What do you expect me to do?"
"Arthur Banks was Carolyn's puppet. Hate to speak ill of the dead, but that's the truth. As for you, for starters, I expect you to be a man of your word, Gray. But if you are not going to follow through this, then I suggest we find her someone who'll stand in for you."
Grayson took his hat off and jerked his fingers through his hair. He glanced at his father hoping to find the answer in the face too much like his own. "Damn it, Pa, can't this wait."
<
br /> "No it cannot. I understand you went through a loss and you know what? There are going to be more. Your Ma and I are gonna die. One of your brothers may die before you. Death is part of life, son. Accept it."
The stark truth slapped him like an icy wind and took his breath. Hank neared until they were almost nose-to-nose. "I am not downplaying your pain of losing your wife so soon after getting married, but, son, it's been long enough. Ultimately it's your decision. If you're going to back out of marrying Nora, talk to her. I'm sure she'd rather be alone than with a husband that doesn't want to be married."
"Yes, sir."
"Come on now, it's almost supper time."
They walked back together, Grayson pulling his horse along. Thankfully his father allowed him time to sort out his thoughts. By the time he arrived at the ranch, his mind was made up. Problem was, how he was gonna tell her.
Chapter Twenty
"Ouch!" Nora put her burned finger in her mouth. "The pie tin is still hot," she told her brother who sat at the kitchen table eating lunch.
"What did you expect? You just took them out of the oven." His remark annoyed her and she rolled her eyes at him.
"I wanted to put them closer to the window to let them cool." She frowned down at her brother. "This is a bad idea. I should just hand Grayson the darn pie and tell him to take it as an apology for me not going with him to dinner."
Her statement met silence, Mitch had gone back to reading the newspaper in the middle of her statement. Just as well, there was nothing he could say on the matter that would make any difference to the jumble of emotions tumbling through her since Grayson left the day before. One minute she was giddy and excited, the next terrified. Surely after he'd gone on his way and his blood cooled, he'd realized what a bad suggestion he'd made in the heat of the moment.
"I'm going upstairs to change, please don't touch the pies." She tapped his shoulder and Mitch looked up at her.
A Different Shade of Blue, Shades of Blue, Book 2 Page 14
