He threw a rock across the sand. He’d known he would end up breaking Lissa’s heart one day. What he hadn’t counted on was breaking his own as well.
Fourteen
The weeks following Marcus’s departure were agony for Melissa. Not a single customer who came into the shop failed to mention where they thought he’d gone, and every reminder of him stabbed right through her wounded heart. Even Shirley had taken pity on her and told her to sleep in on a few occasions.
She looked terrible and felt even worse, with dark circles under her eyes from fitful sleeping. Her tears came easily now, coming when she least expected them. She was exhausted, hurt, and angry.
How dare Marcus leave because he thought it was best! He hadn’t even asked for her opinion. Didn’t she have a say in their relationship as well? It only left one reason why: he didn’t want her. Despite his tender words to her when she’d been in his arms, he hadn’t meant them, and that hurt most of all.
But she shouldn’t be surprised. He’d warned her he’d break her heart, after all. She just hadn’t wanted to believe it, and his leaving had simply proven that Marcus was a man of his word.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hate him for what he’d done. They wouldn’t have been able to continue their affair the way they had been, not without a ring on her finger. But her arms ached to hold him, and she yearned to breathe him in. Her body missed his hot mouth and strong embrace. Whenever she felt her nipples pebble at the thought of him, she groaned and tears escaped her at the knowledge that she’d never have him again in her life.
And that was the hardest part to take. How could she expect to continue living day to day when the man she loved more than life itself had turned his back on her? It didn’t take long before Melissa slipped into self-loathing, hating herself for who she was. Working quietly in the back of the shop, she watched her sister flirting shamelessly with the men of the Gulch on a daily basis, and Melissa would have to busy herself or risk weeping right then and there.
“Lissa, are you all right?” her father asked one day as she stared at the counter, her face pale.
The room was spinning, and she couldn’t stop it as she felt lightheaded. The oppressive heat in the general store suddenly weighed down on her, and she gasped for air. Tiny black spots clouded her vision as she tried to bat them away with her hands.
“Father?” she cried right before she crumpled to the floor.
~ * ~
“Lissa?”
In a rush, her hearing returned, sounding like a thousand galloping horses pounding in her ears.
“Lissa?”
The voice was familiar. Melissa opened her eyes and squinted up into the concerned face of Dr. Newcomb.
“Timothy?”
“Thank goodness you are all right!” He beamed at her, making his mustache bristle.
“What happened?”
“You fainted, dear girl,” he said, helping her sit up.
Looking around, she could see she was on a couch in his office.
“I told your father to wait outside.”
“Am I all right?”
“Well, that’s why you’re here, child. I need to ask you a few… delicate questions. Will that be all right?”
Nodding, Melissa clutched her head, still feeling a bit lightheaded.
“Have you been tired a lot, Lissa?”
“Yes. I… I haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Do you get lightheaded often?”
“Not until recently.”
“Are you nauseated most days?”
Closing her eyes, Melissa put her hand on her brow and licked her lips. “Yes, and I can’t eat sometimes, even when I’m so hungry. The sight of food and sometimes even the smell turns my stomach.”
Dr. Newcomb regarded her with a critical eye. Arching a brow, he asked her one more question. “When are you expecting your monthly?”
Melissa blushed deeply but cleared her throat and answered him. “I… It was supposed to come last week but never did. I’ve been under a lot of stress recently, so I figured it would be coming soon.”
With a sigh, the doctor sat next to her and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know exactly what’s wrong with you.”
“I’m just overly tired. I--”
“Lissa, you’re pregnant.”
“What?” she breathed in disbelief.
“You’re showing all the classic signs. The fact that you’ve missed your monthly is proof enough.”
“But it’s not possible!” A panic began to settle deep inside her heart. Tears stung her eyes as she gazed at the doctor, seeing sympathy plain as day on his face.
“Whose is it?” he asked quietly.
Taking a shuddering breath, Melissa folded her trembling hands in her lap and bit her lip. “I… I’ve only been with… oh, God!”
The tears began falling mercilessly.
“This can’t be happening!”
“Lissa, honey, you have to tell the father of the baby.”
“I can’t!” she wailed.
“Why not?”
“Because the father is Marcus!” Unable to face her shame with the doctor, she stood and began pacing. A long silence stretched out between them.
“He got you pregnant and left you high and dry?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. He left because he didn’t want to get me pregnant--because he knew this would happen if he stayed. But it’s happened regardless. What am I going to do?”
“You’ll have to get married to save your reputation.”
“But he’s long gone. How can I possibly marry him? And he wouldn’t want to marry me anyway.”
“I’m not talking about Marcus, Lissa.”
She stopped her pacing to stare at him.
“The only people who know about your baby are in this very room. If you marry me, Lissa, I’ll claim the baby as my own.”
Melissa felt her world fall away from her. “You’d do that? Why?”
“Because I’ve always admired you. I knew you were sweet on Marcus in the past, but I can give you a good life now, a good home. And I’ll provide for your child as if he were mine.”
Covering her face with her hands, she moaned as her shoulders shook. She felt Dr. Newcomb’s arms around her and heard his voice in her ear. It soothed her somewhat as he rocked her back and forth. Even though he was older than her father, and even though she’d never look at him romantically, he was the only man offering himself to her. How could she face the world as an unwed mother of a bastard?
With tears in her eyes, she lifted her face to the doctor’s and felt a cold numbness overtake her heart.
“I’ll marry you, Timothy. I’ll marry you.”
~ * ~
“Are you sure you want to do this, Lissa?” Chuck Bloom asked when Timothy opened the door to his office and announced their engagement.
Melissa nodded, staring at the boardwalk with her hands folded in front of her.
“Mind if I have a word outside with my daughter, Newcomb?”
“Be my guest.” Turning on his heel, Timothy walked back into his office and closed the door behind him.
“Sweetheart, are you sure?”
“Father, you need to know something.”
“What is it?”
“I… I…”
The contents of her stomach threatened to revisit them as they stood on the walk in front of Dr. Newcomb’s office. Fortunately, no one was nearby to hear their conversation. Melissa lowered her voice regardless.
“I’m pregnant.”
A moment of silence passed before she heard her father growl. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Oh, Father. It wasn’t Dr. Newcomb--”
“I know damn well who it was!”
“Please keep your voice down,” she implored, tugging on his arm. “Timothy has offered to marry me to save my reputation. He’s going to claim my baby as his own.”
“It shouldn’t have to be this way, Lissa. Marcus should damn w
ell live up to his responsibilities!”
“He doesn’t know, Father. He left because he didn’t want this to happen.”
“He took advantage of you, Lissa!”
“No, Father, he didn’t. I asked him to… be with me.”
“Have you lost your mind, girl?”
“I ask myself that same question every single day. But Marcus isn’t coming back, no matter how badly I want him to do the honorable thing.”
“But you don’t love Dr. Newcomb.”
“And Marcus doesn’t love me. That’s what it all comes down to, Daddy. Marcus simply doesn’t love me.”
With that, Melissa stepped around her father and trudged wearily back to the general store.
Fifteen
“Hey, mister. You can’t sleep here.”
A hard shove woke Marcus from his fitful sleep. Raising his head from his crossed arms, he looked around, taking in the empty saloon around him. He sat at the front counter, one of his hands clutching an empty whiskey bottle.
“It’s closing time. Time for you to leave.”
Marcus turned his red eyes to the bartender sweeping the floor under his feet. He had to swallow a few times to work up some moisture in his mouth as he stumbled up from the barstool.
“Thanks. What do I owe you?”
“Nothing, mister. You paid earlier.”
“Right. What time is it?”
“Three in the morning maybe.”
“Is there a hotel in this town?”
“Yeah, up the street a ways. Gloria’s.”
Nodding, Marcus left the empty bottle and wandered out the two swinging doors. His head was pounding as he untied Pete from the hitching post, leading him by the reins up the road. Not a soul was out on the street, but a few lights were lit at the building up the road. Maybe he’d finally get to sleep on a real bed instead of the hard ground.
He’d deliberately avoided towns during the past few weeks, choosing to sleep out in the desert under the stars. But when his memories of Lissa hadn’t gotten any easier to bear, he’d decided to wander into a small town on the horizon to drink himself into oblivion, hoping that would get rid of her.
But now, as he struggled to stay upright when he walked, all he could think about was laying his spinning head down on Lissa’s soft lap and feeling her fingers run gently through his hair. He groaned as he stopped in front of Gloria’s, gazing into the windows with watery eyes.
With a shake of his head, he continued walking, leading Pete behind him. No, a real bed wouldn’t do. Not when what he wanted more than anything was to feel Lissa pressed warm against him underneath the sheets. He’d considered visiting the local whorehouse, but the thought had turned his stomach. After tasting a woman like Lissa, how could he possibly be satisfied with anyone else?
He finally managed to swing up into the saddle after two failed attempts. Giving Pete a gentle kick, he coaxed the horse into a trot out of town and into the night.
~ * ~
Marcus groaned at the swift kick in the gut that rudely awakened him. Pulling out his gun from the holster on his hip, he pointed and cocked it before he even opened his eyes. Coughing and holding his midsection, Marcus raised his head and cracked open his eyes, and they widened as they recognized the face in front of him.
“You gonna shoot me, McCaide? ‘Cause you damn well better after what you did to my daughter!”
“Chuck, what are you doing out here?” Shaking his head in his confusion, Marcus saw a small, empty wagon pulled by two horses not far away.
“Came looking for you, though I don’t know why. Seems as if you’ve turned into nothing more than a good-for-nothing drunk.”
“How did you find me?” Marcus asked with a groan, holstering his gun and shielding his eyes from the oppressive sunlight.
“I just followed the whiskey fumes, boy. Damn, you smell foul if I do say so myself.”
Scowling, Marcus scooted back until he sat against the tree he’d stopped at the night before. He didn’t remember much more than simply falling off Pete’s back and losing consciousness.
“Where’s my horse?”
“Over yonder,” Chuck replied, nodding with his chin at Pete a few yards away. “What the hell are you doing to yourself?”
“It’s none of your business, Chuck.”
“The hell it ain’t!”
“Why don’t you just leave me alone?”
“Because I love my daughter and she loves you, although I really don’t know why. You have no admirable qualities that I can see.”
Sighing heavily, Marcus rubbed his eyes and glared at the older man. “What do you want, Chuck?”
“I want you to be a man and live up to your responsibilities.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You took Lissa’s innocence, for one.”
“Shit.” Marcus hit the back of his head against the tree a few times. “Look, sir, I can explain--”
“Probably no better than she did. Told me some wild story about asking you to do it.”
“She did.”
“And you didn’t hesitate.”
Looking him square in the eye, Marcus didn’t flinch when he answered. “No, I didn’t.”
“Well, guess what happened.”
“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?”
“Don’t you take that tone with me, boy. I’m not too old to knock you out cold right here and now. Just because you’re the father of my first grandchild doesn’t mean I won’t rearrange your face, regardless of Lissa’s feelings for you.”
“What did you just say?” Marcus felt his anger leave him in a rush. His heart stopped beating as his face paled and his eyes widened with shock.
“You heard me, boy! Lissa’s pregnant. With your bastard.”
Howling a loud oath that echoed off the surrounding hills, Marcus stood and ran his hands ruthlessly through his hair. “Damn it, this wasn’t supposed to happen! I left so it wouldn’t!”
“Well, you left a little too late. And guess what Lissa has a mind to do now.”
Rubbing his eyes, Marcus turned them on Chuck, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. “What?”
“She’s marrying Dr. Newcomb who has offered so very graciously to raise the baby as his own to save her reputation.”
Marcus’s mouth hit the dirt. Every nerve ending in his body wanted to scream at the thought of Lissa married to the old doctor, of her making love to him and sleeping in his bed every night.
“Oh, God--”
“Oh, God is right, McCaide. Because of you, Lissa is sacrificing herself. She’s angry and she’s lonely, but most of all she’s scared. She’s in love with you. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Not if she knew what I’ve done in the past. How can I tell her that?”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way.”
“She’d turn her back on me.”
“Maybe; maybe not. But don’t you think she should have the right to make that decision?”
“I’d lose her.”
“Open your eyes, son! You’ve already lost her!”
Marcus stared at Chuck and felt hot tears sting his eyes.
“I told you once before that if you wanted her you’d have to fight tooth and nail for her, boy. If she turns her back on you, then you gotta turn her around. You’ve got to make her accept you. If you don’t, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Is that a demon you want haunting you?”
Turning his back, Marcus looked to the sky and took a shuddering breath. Chuck was right. What the hell was he doing? Running from his problems, hurting the only woman he’d ever…
His thoughts stopped cold as he spun around to face Lissa’s father once again. Chuck simply nodded, reading his expression.
“You’re in love with her. It’s too late to fight it, Marcus. You love her, and there’s nothing you can do about that now. But the woman you love is marrying an old man who plans to make your family his. Is that what you want? Do you want Lissa t
o be his wife? Do you want your son or daughter to call him Daddy?”
Tears fell as Marcus stared at Chuck, the weight of his words hitting him like a ton of bricks. A family? He had a family? The reality of it nearly brought him to his knees.
“No, God, no! I don’t want that. I want her… to be my wife--I do. I want it so bad. I want peace, but--”
“Lissa can give it to you. Believe me when I say that, Marcus.” Chuck walked over to him and put his hand on Marcus’s shoulder. “I’ve always wanted you for a son-in-law. From the first day I met you, I knew you’d be the perfect man for Lissa. I’ve never given up hope that you’d end up with her. But, damn it, I don’t want you messing things up simply because you’re afraid. Hell, we’re all afraid of something, and you’ve got to get over it.”
“You’re right, sir. You’re absolutely--”
Chuck balled up his fist and hit Marcus square in the jaw, dropping the younger man to the dirt.
“What the hell?” Marcus yelped, stroking his injured cheek.
“You damn well deserved that, McCaide. Be thankful that’s all I’m going to do.” Offering him his hand, Chuck hauled Marcus back to his feet. “Now, son, did Lissa offer you her heart?”
After a few moments of silence as he rubbed his aching chin, Marcus simply nodded.
“Then it’s about time you go claim it.”
Sixteen
“Ooh, how exciting, Lissa! I can’t believe you’re getting married.”
“That makes two of us.” Melissa stared at herself in the mirror and hardly recognized her face.
Shirley had decided a few days prior that she would be doing her sister’s hair and rouge for the big day and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Now that she was done, Melissa was impressed. Her eyes were softer, prettier than usual, and her cheeks glowed with color.
Shirley spritzed perfume from her bottle all over the front of Melissa’s gown, making her cough. “Is that really necessary?”
“Don’t you want to smell nice?” Shirley pouted.
Sighing loudly, Melissa nodded and got a grin from her sister. Ever since Marcus had left, Shirley had become nicer, friendlier, and more considerate. Melissa had to wonder if it was due to her refusing to pamper her sister any longer. Shirley did things for herself now, even though she was still a shameless flirt when it came to men.
In Your Arms Page 9
