by Donna Hatch
“Twice that I’m aware of in London, and on and off while we were here.”
Alicia made up her mind. “Stay with Cole, Stephens. Jeffries, please ask Jared to meet me in the parlor. And tell him to leave behind the mask and cane.”
Looking supremely uncomfortable, the valets obeyed. Alicia went into the parlor and glared at the fire popping in the grate. She did not have to wait long.
A man strode in looking so much like Cole that she had to take a second look before she could detect the differences between this man and Cole. Sleepy-eyed, rumpled and unshaven, he looked so exhausted that she felt a pang of remorse for having him awakened.
He held up his hands in surrender. “Don’t shoot.”
“I’m not holding a gun, you scoundrel, but I would like to throw something at you.”
“Get in line,” he muttered.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded.
He stared at her as if she’d sprouted a horn. “It isn’t my secret to tell.”
“What if Cole had died?” her voice rose to a shrill note.
“Then I’d tell you, of course. I certainly wouldn’t carry on the charade. Tempting as it is.” A rakish glint entered his eyes and one corner of his mouth lifted in such a perfect imitation of Cole that her heart gave a lurch.
Ignoring his innuendo, Alicia sat down weakly. “So you donned the disguise the moment you arrived here?”
“Yes. We needed your enemies to see Cole leave and believe you were left with little protection.” He threw himself down into a chair and stretched out his legs as she’d seen Cole do on so many occasions.
“And in London, when I saw you together in the park?”
“That was by accident.”
She folded her arms over her chest and glared. “You put on a mask by accident?”
He smiled faintly. “No. You saw me by accident; our meeting wasn’t staged for you. I wear the Nicholas costume so I can move freely about London. There are certain reasons I can’t let my presence in London be known.”
“I imagine there’s a price on your head, what with being a pirate and all,” she said dryly.
“I have enemies on both sides of the law.” He exuded the same latent sensuality as Cole. His walk was the same, the way he carried himself. How many times had he posed as her husband? And under what circumstances?
He watched her quietly, waiting.
Frightened of what his answer might be, she hesitated, then, steeling herself, forced herself to ask the question that had been nagging her. “Have you ever…” she had to draw a breath, “Did you ever wear the mask when you were… with me… in a private way?”
“No, of course not.”
She watched him doubtfully. Was that the truth, or only what she wanted to hear?
Gravely serious, he leaned forward. “After my arrival as Nicholas, and Cole’s departure, he and Grant snuck back in. Once Cole returned, we switched back. Grant and I were on watch while Cole played Nicholas… until he got himself shot. I give you my word; I never touched you beyond a brotherly hug.”
She let out her breath, relieved and confused and angry about all the deception. Anxiously, he searched her face with blue-green eyes. Next to Cole, he was the most handsome man she’d ever beheld.
“He didn’t do it to hurt you,” Jared said quietly. “Or embarrass you.”
“He’s done both,” she snapped indignantly. Unable to sit still another moment, she left the room. Her traitorous feet took her to Cole’s side.
Her thoughts swirled, some forging a coherent line, others spinning off unconnected. All those nights filled with guilt for rejecting her husband. Desiring Cole. The loneliness. The despair. If only he had told her.
But up until a few weeks ago, she would have rejected him, just as she had when he’d asked her to marry him.
She pulled herself together. In spite of the deception, she knew him well enough to draw her own conclusions. He had worn the mask to marry her, to protect her from Colonel Westin and save her family. She pressed her hands to her head. All that time she’d thought Cole was a callous philanderer trying to steal his cousin’s wife, and that Nicholas wanted to cast her off.
He’d seemed different as Nicholas. It was possible Cole used his charming, practiced unconcern to protect the hurting man underneath. Only when he’d worn the mask did he feel safe enough to reveal the man inside.
She smiled wryly. Perhaps he used his handsome face as a mask as much as he used the dark cloth.
Robert brought Alicia a tray of dinner and remained to eat with her. They sat in comfortable silence.
She struggled to swallow her food past her sore and battered throat. “Did you know, too, Robbie?”
“Know what, Lissie?”
“That my husband, Nicholas, and Cole are the same man.”
Robert let out an ungentlemanly expletive. “Are you sure?”
Alicia glanced over at the man lying on his stomach in bed. Despite her earlier hurt and anger, tenderness overcame her. “A woman knows her husband.” A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “And his valets—both of them—confessed when I confronted them.”
Robert shook his head. “But I’ve seen Nicholas since Cole was shot—ooooh. Someone else in the mask? Grant? No, Jared.”
Alicia stabbed her chicken viciously. “Jared.”
Robert shook his head. “Illegitimate sons trying to eliminate an entire family, murderous housekeepers, rakes disguised as scarred cripples and getting married, brothers switching places, what next?”
“I would appreciate some predictable joy.”
“Nicholas. Cole. I should have seen that. At least you don’t have to decide where your loyalties lie. You clearly loved them both.”
She rubbed her eyes. “I did. And I suffered for it.”
“Are you angry at him for lying to you?”
“Yes!” With her eyes fixed upon Cole’s motionless form, she heaved a mighty sigh, releasing the last of her frustration, and shook her head. “Not any more. But I look forward to needling him about it for years to come.”
But could she trust him?
After checking on Hannah, who was eating and whose skin had developed a healthier color, she returned to Cole. He remained unconscious all evening. She lay next to him, trying to offer him comfort with the warmth of her body, and finally fell into an exhausted slumber.
She awoke slowly, aware first that a large, masculine arm was wrapped around her, pulling her in closer. The rhythm of Cole’s breathing had changed. His eyes were open and focused.
Relief, warm and soft, stole over her.
“Good morning.” She touched his forehead. The fever had left him.
A tiny smile appeared in the corner of his mouth.
“How do you feel?”
He moistened his lips. “Like someone shot me.”
“You gave us a scare, my husband.”
The smile faded. He closed his eyes and he let out his breath in a long exhale. “Do you hate me?”
She caressed his face. “I was hurt. Angry. But no, I do not hate you.” Putting a light-hearted tone in her voice, she added. “It’s fortunate you were unconscious or I might have done you bodily harm when I figured it out.”
He did not smile. “I married you because I wanted you for my wife. I hated deceiving you.” He coughed, and then winced. “Now that you know, what are you going to do?”
“Help you get better and give you a chance to make it up to me.”
He looked at her with such fearful hope, such vulnerability, that if her heart had been frozen it would have instantly thawed.
“You’ll stay with me?”
“Of course. I’m your wife.”
He watched her warily.
She saw his unspoken question but wasn’t ready to relieve his concern just yet. He’d made her suffer for so long, it felt like justice to keep him in anticipation for a few more moments.
“Hawthorne is dead,” she told him. “But he made a full
confession first.” Alicia related all she had learned about Hawthorne and his mother while Cole listened without expression.
Cole touched her face. “I nearly died when I thought he had hurt you.”
“You were there to protect me just as you have been since we met.”
A haunted expression flitted over his face. “I tried to do the right thing for you, Alicia.”
She tried to bring levity into her voice. “Of course you have. And now I no longer have to be torn between loving Nicholas, my gentle, thoughtful husband, or Cole, the reprehensible scoundrel who could always make me laugh.”
Despite her effort to coax a smile from him, he remained grave, searching her face, her eyes, seeking any sign that she loved him.
“Forgive me,” he said. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you wed to another man, especially someone like that boorish colonel. But you refused when I asked you to marry me. I didn’t know what else to do.”
She swallowed, but her throat was still so battered and bruised that it caused pain. “Did you ever mock me behind my back?”
He blinked. “Mock you? Of course not. Why would I?”
“Because I was afraid of you in that mask as the baron, but I was tempted by you as Cole.”
“I hated deceiving you. But I couldn’t tell you until I was sure you no longer hated me.”
She sighed. “I was so stubborn.”
“You are wonderful, and beautiful, and I’m fortunate you are even speaking to me.”
“You and Jared must have shared a laugh over staging a time for me to see you together,” she groused, still feeling petulant.
“Jared was enchanted. He threatened to steal you away if I don’t treat you well. And truly, Alicia, we never laughed at you.”
“And if I’d asked for an annulment?”
He stared straight ahead and let his breath out slowly. “I don’t know. Since I married you in such a deceitful way—wearing a mask, and pretending to be another—the marriage could have been declared invalid. It still wouldn’t have been a clean process, but it could have been done if you’d wanted it badly enough. But I doubt I could truly let you go.”
“Then our marriage is legal?” she asked.
“Yes. I stood next to you in front of the vicar, used my full name, and spoke my vows, as did you. It is legal, unless you decide to contest it.” He watched her.
“I have no intentions of contesting it, Cole.”
As if a terrible burden had been lifted, he drew a deep breath. With his eyes closed, he raised her hand to his lips, kissed it and held it against his cheek. He was silent for so long, she thought he had fallen asleep again. “I hope you will love me someday. As I love you.”
She touched his face. “I already do.”
His hand tightened on hers and he drew a long, ragged breath. How she loved this man! If only she could truly trust him.
“But I fear it,” she whispered.
He opened his eyes. “Fear what?”
“Loving you. Wondering how soon you’ll break my heart. Whose bed you will be in.”
He opened his eyes and in the depths of the blue, hurt mingled with astonishment. “I haven’t gone near another woman in a long time. Not since long before I married you.”
“Why?”
He looked her in the eyes, and, despite his weakened state, spoke with emotion. “Because, for one thing, I spoke truthfully when I said I don’t fully deserve my reputation. Remember the harpies? I wanted to find someone to love wholly and completely. I have no desire to go near another woman. I want only you. I want to be worthy of you. I love you. And I will be faithful to you all of my days. I vow it.” His eyes pled for understanding.
She remembered the words Maman had recorded in her journal about forgiving her husband’s past. They gave her the courage to believe Cole now. Her heart assured her he spoke sincerely. Tears formed in her eyes, and the swelling in her heart left no room for doubt.
With a gentle hand, he caressed her face and then he kissed her, tenderly, hungrily.
Mindful of his injury, Alicia snuggled against him and held him until he went back to sleep, a healthy sleep, undisturbed by fever or delirium.
She kissed his brow and tightened her arms around him. She had hoped her husband would one day show her his face when he trusted her, but she never dreamed that it would reveal the other man she loved. Her beloved husband. Cole.
Marveling at the contentment that permeated her being, she held on to Cole—Nicholas—and thanked her Maker for the gift of him, and the healing he brought to her wounded heart. And for the fulfillment of her dreams.
Chapter 30
Alicia walked beside Cole, her fingers twined in his, as they skirted the lake in the Amesbury family estate. Jared strode next to her husband, looking more like Cole’s twin than his younger brother by fourteen months. Jared pulled at his cravat as if unaccustomed to it.
“So it appears I’ll be landlocked for the next few months,” Jared said with obvious reluctance.
“Isn’t it dangerous for you to walk about openly in England?” Alicia asked.
Jared’s penetrating gaze swept over her. He and Cole shared the ability to make one think keeping one’s thoughts private would be impossible. “Yes. Which is why, while in London, I’m the masked baron. Other times, I’m simply Jared Amesbury, second son of the fifth Earl Tarrington. I never use my real name when I’m at sea. I hate to besmirch the family name while I play pirate.” He quirked a self- depreciating grin and looked so much like Cole that Alicia blinked.
Cole snorted. “Could’ve done better than a stupid name like Black Jack.”
“It was all I could come up with in a pinch,” Jared said easily with a shrug.
“So no more donning a Nicholas disguise when you come home?” she teased with a smile.
A glint that exceeded Cole’s in wickedness glimmered in his eye. “Too bad we couldn’t play the part beyond a brotherly embrace.”
Alicia put her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh at his brazen suggestion.
Cole punched him in the arm. “Watch it, little brother. I can still thrash you,” he growled, but an affectionate light shone in his face.
Jared grinned in reply. “No more Nicholas disguises. I don’t think I’ll need it anymore. In the small town where I’ve let the house for the summer, no one should know my face except for two close friends who will help me. Besides, I’ve cut my hair, shaved my beard, and with these ridiculously uncomfortable clothes—” he gestured to his finely tailored suit “—I doubt any former foes, or victims, would recognize me as Black Jack. My first mate hardly knows me now.” He pulled again at his cravat until it became quite rumpled.
A breeze rippled the lake water and carried the scent of the first flowers of spring. Overhead, birds twittered as they flirted and built nests. All around them sprang new life and new hope.
Alicia drew a deep breath, perfectly happy, perfectly at peace. She looked up at her husband, gratified to see him fully recovered. Every time she thought of how close she had come to losing him, she could barely hold back the tears. She squeezed his hand. He released her hand so he could put an arm around her and pull her in close.
Jared shot them a look of reproach. “Perhaps I should leave you two alone?”
“Would you mind?” Cole grinned wolfishly and Alicia blushed.
“When the staff gets everything prepared, I’d love to have you both visit the house I’ve let for the summer,” Jared said. “That is, if you can refrain from indulging in these sickening displays of affection.”
Alicia smiled. How easily she smiled these days! A light heart did that to a person. “We would be happy to visit. That is, if the doctor approves.”
She touched her stomach where the first hint of roundness had recently begun to develop. Cole placed his hand on her abdomen and looked at her with such tenderness that tears pricked her eyes.
Self-consciously, she glanced at Jared and then blinked at the unexpected wistfulness
in his expression as he watched them share such an intimate moment.
Jared looked away and cleared his throat, tugging at his poor, abused cravat again. Then he brought a careless tone to his voice. “I can’t picture you as a father, Cole. That seems to defy reason.”
Cole chuckled. “I agree. Alicia deserves your pity for having me as the father of her children.”
“You deserve my pity just for being stuck with this lout,” Jared whispered to Alicia. “Do you wish to escape? With me? The house I’ve let is quite fine. You even have the correct surname, so no one will ever be the wiser.”
“It might be hard for her to ignore the knife sticking out of your heart, you blackguard,” Cole warned.
Alicia glanced at her husband. She sighed blissfully. Her husband. Cole. “I can see your atrocious manners must be a family failing, husband. He’s as incorrigible as you.”
“I, at least, was trying to steal my own wife, not my brother’s.”
“But you led me to believe that you were trying to steal your cousin’s wife,” she reminded him.
“See? He’s a cad,” Jared interjected. “You deserve someone better. Someone honest.”
Alicia raised her brows. “A pirate is more honest?”
He puffed out his chest. “I’m an honest secret agent playing a dishonest pirate.”
Cole laughed.
Alicia patted his arm. “Poor dear. With this family, it’s a wonder you’ve turned out as well as you have.”
Cole and Jared exchanged a look. “She hasn’t met Christian, yet,” they said simultaneously, then burst out into laughter.
Cole shook his head. “Not until she’s firmly in love with me. It will be several more years before I risk that encounter.”
“Why?” Alicia asked. “From everything you’ve told me about him, he’s perfectly respectable.”
“Not merely perfectly respectable. Perfect,” Cole replied mournfully.
“The perfectly perfect Christian,” Jared added in a sing-song voice, as if they’d said that phrase repeatedly, and probably at Christian’s expense.
“He is the youngest and always was Mother’s favorite,” Cole explained. “He always does and says everything exactly as he ought. If he wasn’t so humble and likeable, I’d hate him.”
