“Did you say I’m … adopted?”
I waited for her to stare at me in confusion. Maybe even laugh. Clearly that was not what she’d said.
Instead, she paused for at least five seconds and then nodded.
I thought of the reporter at the door. “So he didn’t get the wrong place. Someone found out I’m adopted. They went to the press. You wanted to warn me before someone showed up on our doorstep.”
She nodded again.
“And now they’re saying I’m the daughter of America’s most notorious … what? Actor? Rock star? Politician? Oh God, please tell me it isn’t a politician.”
She said nothing. As we sat there in silence, her words finally sank in. Forget whose child I was. I was someone else’s. Not hers. Not my dad’s.
“I’m sorry,” she said at last. “You shouldn’t have had to find out about it this way.”
“No, I shouldn’t.”
I looked over at her and the shock cleared, pain seeping in. Hard, angry pain. “You had no intention of telling me I was adopted until you were forced to.”
Howard stepped forward. “Olivia, your parents were unable to have children of their own. They decided to give a wonderful, loving home to a child in need.”
“I’m not questioning their motives,” I said. “It’s the part about not telling me for twenty-four years that I’m having trouble with.”
“Twenty-one, actually. You—” Howard stopped. His sallow cheeks flushed. Then he cleared his throat, and stepped back. “I’m sorry. This really isn’t my place.”
“No shit,” I muttered.
My mother didn’t tell me to watch my language. Didn’t even flinch.
“So I’m not twenty-four?” I said.
“You are,” Mum said. “It’s just that you weren’t an infant when we first got custody of you. You were a little over two and a half. I wanted a toddler. Everyone wants a baby and there are so many older children who need a home.”
And it was much easier to find an older child who looked like you. Shame plucked at the edges of my anger, telling me I was being unfair.
We sat in silence. I didn’t want silence. I wanted to rage and shout and throw everything within reach.
I wanted Dad. If he was here, I could rage and shout and throw things. He’d expect no less. But with Mum’s worried eyes fixed on me, there was no way I could give in to a temper tantrum. Sitting there quietly hurt, though. Physically hurt.
“Okay,” I said finally. “So I’m not your daughter—”
“Of course you are. Don’t be melodramatic, Olivia. I only wanted to keep it a secret because I feared how others would treat you. When you live in a world of privilege, everyone wants to believe you don’t deserve it. I had a younger cousin who was adopted and people always behaved as though she didn’t really belong. I made your father swear that wouldn’t happen to you.”
“All right.” I took a deep, ragged breath that seared my lungs. “So now the word is out, and the press is making a big deal out of it. Must be a slow news day. We’re going to have to counter with a statement. I take it you know who my parents are?”
Silence. I looked at Mum. Then at Howard. Neither would meet my gaze.
“So you do know,” I said. “You just don’t want me knowing, because I might contact them. Well, clearly the press knows so you’re going to have to—”
“That’s not it,” Mum said. “Neither your father nor I had any idea who your biological parents were when we adopted you. I only found out tonight. According to Howard”—she shot a look his way—“your father learned the truth two years ago. He decided to keep it from both of us.”
“He paid a great deal to keep it from you,” Howard added.
Mum nodded, and they looked at me expectantly, as if I should be grateful for this, when all I could think was, My dad paid blackmail money to hide something from me. My father. Who’d never coddled me. Never shielded me from the darker side of life. I’d loved him for that. Pay blackmailers? No, that wasn’t possible. Not from a man who would thunder and lecture me when I argued for leniency dealing with young shoplifters at the store.
“I … don’t understand,” I said finally.
Howard answered. “Your father was the victim of a blackmailer who now seems to have realized he could get more money selling his story to the online tabloids.”
More money than he could get from my wealthy family? How big of a story was it?
I swallowed. “Who are my birth parents?”
Howard watched my mother for a moment, silently pleading with her to answer. When she didn’t, he cleared his throat. “Pamela and Todd Larsen. The names will likely mean nothing to you—”
“I know who they are.” The words came as a whisper, forced out past lungs that seemed to have collapsed, like I’d been hit in the chest with a five iron.
“Did you say…?” Howard began.
“I know who they are. Everyone knows who they are.”
Deep breaths. In and out. Don’t think. Just breathe.
I shifted my gaze to my mother. She looked away.
She looked away.
Oh God. My own mother couldn’t bear to look at me.
“So it’s…?” I shook my head and turned to Howard. “No, that’s who they’re alleging are my parents. It’s a rumor. It has to be proven. I need to submit DNA and compare it to the records of these … people.”
Howard shook his head. “Do you think your father didn’t demand proof when this was first brought to him? The blackmailer provided test results and it wasn’t enough. Your father took hair from your brush and had an independent lab test your DNA against the Larsens’ DNA from their samples taken as evidence in their trial. There is no doubt. They are your biological parents.”
“It means nothing, Olivia,” my mother sniffed. “You are our daughter. Not theirs.”
Not Pamela and Todd Larsen’s. Not the child of … Oh God. My stomach heaved.
“I … I need a minute,” I said and ran from the room.
Chapter Five
The names will likely mean nothing to you.
Right. No one living in the Midwest hadn’t heard of Pamela and Todd Larsen.
Husband and wife. Serial killers.
I was the daughter of two sociopaths.
I stared at my laptop. I knew who the Larsens were, but not a lot about them. I should look it up.
For what?
They were killers. Convicted serial killers. Did I want to torture myself with the details of their crimes? Or was I hoping it wasn’t as bad as I’d heard? Oh, they only killed six people, not eight like I thought. Well, that’s not so bad.
I turned away from the laptop.
A knock at the door. “Olivia?”
When I didn’t answer, my mother went away, and I lay there, wondering if she’d actually wanted me to open the door. Or if she’d just come up because it was what a mother was supposed to do.
I thought of how she’d acted downstairs. She’d seemed anxious, and I wanted to say she’d been worried about me, but then I remembered how she evaded me when I’d gone to hug her. I remembered tapping the love seat for her to sit with me … and watching her move to the chair.
Damning evidence. Except that we’d never been close. It was my dad who’d curled up on the love seat with me. My dad who’d given me bear hugs and piggyback rides and swirled me off my feet, long after I was too big to be swirled. My mother was kind and she was caring. She was just … distant, with everyone. Raised to show her love in other ways.
I went into my bathroom and flipped the sink faucets on to cold, to give myself a jolt, get back on track. As I wet the cloth, I looked up and caught my reflection. I stopped. For the first time in my life, I didn’t see that comforting blend of Arthur Jones and Lena Taylor. I saw—
I yanked my gaze away, ripped off my dress, stepped into the shower, and cranked the water up as hot as I could stand it.
When I got out, I avoided the mirror. I left my dress poole
d on the bathroom floor and grabbed my jeans and jersey from earlier. I walked into my room to get fresh underwear and socks. Stopped when I reached my dresser.
There was no mirror here. Just reflections of another kind: photos, crowded across the dresser top in mismatched frames. The clutter drove my mother crazy. She was forever straightening them, trying to bring order to the chaos.
My photos. A record of my life. Of what mattered in it. Nana, gone four years now, the only grandparent I’d known, my dad’s father long dead. My maternal grandparents’ interest in me had never extended beyond the obligatory annual Christmas and birthday gifts. Impersonal gifts for a child they didn’t know.
A child they’d never known, I realized now. Growing up, I’d been told my parents and I had lived in England until I was three, when my grandfather died and Dad had to return to take over the business. Not true. The Larsens were American. So my parents had adopted me when they moved back here. A convenient way to pretend that I’d been their child all along. Only I hadn’t been. My mother’s family knew that and they wanted nothing to do with me.
I turned back to the photos. There were more pictures of my parents than anyone else, yet no more than the number they had of me scattered throughout the house. The three of us, our perfect little family.
There were photos of friends, too. Childhood friends. College friends. No best friend—I never felt the need for such a thing, preferring quantity over quality. Did that mean something? An inability to form truly close bonds of friendship?
My gaze slid to the photos on the far right. The most recent, the others inched aside to give way to the new phase of my life.
James.
I hurried to the desk and grabbed my cell phone. I went to hit the speed dial, then stopped.
How would he react?
I shook my head. Was I actually questioning that? This wouldn’t be easy, but we’d get through it. First, though, I had to tell him before anyone else did.
I hit the key. The call went straight to voice mail.
I checked the clock. Just past midnight. He’d probably gone to bed. I left a message saying I needed to speak to him. Then I hung up and walked to the window.
A half-moon shone through the star-studded inky black of the clear night sky. I opened the window. The breeze fluttered in, rich with the smell of wood fire from the neighbor’s yard, the faint glow of an extinguished bonfire still visible over the hedge.
A beautiful night for a bonfire. A beautiful night for a swim, too, as the moon shimmered across the ripples in our pool. Maybe I could still do that. Maybe I should. Slice through the cool water, feel it wash over me, carry everything else away.
I pressed my fingers to the glass. Light flashed from the back of the yard. I blinked and shaded my eyes to peer out. Another flash. Then another. The staccato blinks of a camera shutter. I yanked the curtains so hard the rod popped free. I left it hanging, stalked to my bed, and dropped onto it.
“Olivia?” My mother was at my door again. “There are people outside. More media people.”
I sat up and instinctively glanced toward the mirror, to make sure I looked calm and collected. When I caught my reflection, my stomach clenched so hard I winced.
“Olivia? I know this is a shock, but you need to deal with this.”
I needed to deal with it? Not even we.
I took a deep breath and heard my dad’s voice after his heart attack. When he knew he was dying.
She’s not like us, Livy. She just isn’t. Fair or not, you’re going to need to be strong enough for two. Can you do that?
“Is Howard still here?” I called.
“Yes.”
“Tell him I’ll be down in a minute. We’ll—”
The crash of breaking glass cut me off.
I threw open my door. A thump from downstairs. I pushed my mother behind me, shielding her.
“Howard?” I yelled.
“They’ve broken in,” my mother whimpered. “Oh my God, they’ve broken in.”
“They’re journalists, Mum, not a lynch mob. No matter how badly they want the story, they won’t break in to get it. Just hold tight.”
I started for the stairs.
She grabbed my arm. “Don’t leave me here.”
“Okay, then stay right behind me—” Damn it, that wouldn’t work, either. While I was sure we hadn’t been invaded by crazed paparazzi, I wasn’t taking my mother downstairs until I knew what was going on.
“Howard?” I called from the top of the steps.
He appeared at the bottom. “They broke a pane in the French doors to the patio.” His face was calm, but his voice quavered. “I think it was an accident. They were jostling to get a picture and a pane broke.”
“Okay, so have you called—?”
A shout from below. So loud and clear that I froze.
“Are they inside?”
“No, no. They’re just shouting for you through the broken pane. They want you to make a statement. In my professional opinion, I don’t think you should speak to them.”
“Good, because I’m not going to. Have you called the police?”
“I don’t want to raise a fuss,” my mother murmured behind me.
“There are people in our backyard, Mum. I’m raising as big a fuss as I can. Call the police now, Howard. We’re going to stay up here until someone comes.”
Howard made the call. I heard him speaking into the phone, then his voice got loud. “When you have someone free? Maybe I’m not making myself clear. Mrs. Lena Taylor—who is a generous donor to your force’s annual fund-raiser—is under siege, with hooligans breaking her windows.”
Hooligans? That made it sound like some kid jumped the fence and tossed a rock.
“Wait here,” I said to my mother. “I’ll handle this.”
Chapter Six
My mother chirped in protest but stayed on the top step as I descended. When I got to the bottom, I saw three faces plastered to the broken patio door, like kids trying to catch a glimpse of an R-rated movie.
A burst of flashes blinded me.
“Ms. Jones?”
“Olivia?”
Shit. Okay, not my brightest move. I retreated out of sight.
“Ms. Jones? Could I ask you a few questions?”
“Olivia? Just a quick statement?”
“Miss Larsen? Hello! Miss Larsen?”
I stiffened.
“Okay,” I muttered. “You want a statement—”
A hand grabbed my arm. I looked back to see Howard.
“Do not engage them, Olivia. That’s what they want.”
“That’s why I’m giving it to them, so they’ll take their damned statement and get the hell off our property. I don’t like them scaring Mum.”
I unwrapped his fingers from my arm and, ignoring the flashes, walked close enough to the broken door so they all could hear me.
I held up one hand to quiet them down. “Fine, you want a statement? I just found out tonight that my biological parents are, allegedly, Pamela and Todd Larsen. I will be investigating this claim. In the meantime, I will ask that everyone respect our privacy and—”
A yelp cut me short. Someone was jostling through the crowd toward the patio doors amid shouts of “Hey!” and “Watch it!”
Then, just as suddenly, the crowd went still. The two older journalists in the front lowered their cameras and pens. One leaned over to whisper to a young woman who looked confused. Her eyes widened and she stepped back to give the newcomer room.
It was an old man. Maybe not that old—seventy or so—but tall and stooped, his rheumy eyes blazing at me.
He stuck a gnarled hand through the broken pane, reaching for the lock.
“Whoa!” I stepped forward. “This is private property, sir. You can’t come in here.”
“I can and I will,” he said. “You may have all these people fooled, but I know who you are.”
I turned to Howard, then heard a cry of, “Sir, you shouldn’t do that” from the cro
wd.
The old man had flipped the lock. A few journalists continued halfhearted protests, but all of them leaned forward, eyes glittering, cameras raised.
He pushed open the door and marched in.
“Get the police here now!” I said to Howard. Then I turned back to the old man. “You have five seconds to get out.”
The man continued toward me. “I don’t know how you got here, in this fancy house, but—”
“It’s my home, and you’ll get out of it now.”
He stopped right in front of me. I blanched, seeing something in his eyes I’d never seen before. Hate. Pure, unadulterated hate.
“You think you got away with it,” he spat. “Think you got yourself a fancy new life. I remember what you did. Every day of my life, I remember.”
Howard said, “He’s clearly disturbed, Olivia. Go back upstairs.”
“Disturbed?” the old man roared. “You’re the crazy one, for harboring this she-bitch—”
He hit me with both hands, knocking me to the floor. I landed on the broken glass and felt it bite into my bare arms. As I scrambled up, he grabbed a shard, gripping it so hard blood welled up through his fingers. He swung it at me. I caught his arm. It wasn’t hard to stop him—he was an old man. When he snarled, I dug my fingers in until he let out a hiss of pain and dropped the glass.
I glowered at him. “If you think I’m my parents’ daughter, then you don’t want to do that. You really don’t.”
Silence. Stunned silence. For a second, I thought, I’ve done it. They’ll leave now. Then I saw the shock in the old man’s eyes, and knew in that instant that I’d made a very big mistake. That’s when the cameras started to flash again. I let the old man go.
“Olivia…” My mother’s voice from the foot of the stairs.
I wrenched my gaze from the intruders and blinked hard, and when I did, it was like breaking a spell. Suddenly, I was lost in a roar of voices.
“Mr. Gunderson!” someone shouted. “Niles Gunderson!”
“Sir, can we ask about your daughter? About Jan. Does this bring it all back?”
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