by Ciara Knight
If You Hold Me
Ciara Knight
Contents
Reader Letter
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Epilogue
Recipe
Also by Ciara Knight
About the Author
If You Hold Me
Book IV
Sugar Maple Series
Copyright ©2021 by Ciara Knight
All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Cover art by Yocla Cover Designs
Edited by Bev Katz Rosenbaum
Copy Edit by Jenny Rarden
Proofreading by Rachel
****To receive a FREE starter library (Two free books) AND an alert of Ciara’s next book releases, go to Ciara’s Exclusive Reader group click here. ****
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Reader Letter
Dear Reader,
I’ll tell you a secret.
I was nervous about writing this series. Even after the first book was released and the reviews were great, I still wasn’t sure about it. It wasn’t until I realized how much all the readers are enjoying it that I relaxed. One of the great things about this series is that the number one reviews these books have received is: “Wow, I love this book even more than the last!” As a matter of fact, I received a surprise from my editors stating how much they enjoyed the story you’re about to read. That isn’t something I expect when I open the edits to all the red marks and questions about what’s on the paper.
This book almost didn’t happen. When I sent it to my content editor, I was so nervous because I swore years ago that I’d never write a sports romance. Of course, mine is more small town than sports, but still, I broke my promise to myself. I’m not sure why, but Tanner wouldn’t let it be any other way. He was born to be all about football. He’s pushy that way.
I hope you enjoy this story about small town sweethearts reuniting after a decade of lies and football have kept them apart.
Happy Reading,
Ciara
Chapter One
Mary-Beth Richards wiped off the residue on her Maple Grounds coffee shop counter, wishing she could wipe away the memories as easily. Memories of promised happily ever afters.
“You’re doing it again,” Andy, her little brother, shouted, as if she were the one with the Air Pods blasting music in her ears.
“Doing what?” she asked, plopping the sponge unceremoniously into the sink and wiping her hands on her apron before she retrieved five mugs for her afternoon meeting. She already knew how it would go with her four friends gossiping about wedding plans and boyfriends and past sins.
Andy pulled one white earphone out of his ear. “You’re stress cleaning to get ready for the friend attack. Why do you hang out with the girls if they make you so crazy? I mean, come on, they were childhood friends. I don’t get why the town is so crazy about the infamous Fabulous Five. Especially after Judas Jackie stole Carissa’s fiancé after high school.”
“Old news, buddy. We’re all good now that Carissa is engaged to Drew.” Mary-Beth thanked the dear Lord for that miracle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, anyway. I’m looking forward to spending time with them. They’re like extended family to me.” She started on the drinks, closing her eyes and thinking about each girl and what she liked.
Andy harrumphed. “They’ll be your only wannabe family when I head to college next year. You’ll finally be free of your forced parental responsibilities. Yay to the ’rents for dumping me on you, huh?” He snagged his football from the chair and a muffin from the fridge before he slipped his letterman jacket on and headed for the door, probably to meet up with his secret girlfriend he refused to tell her about. Wow, did he remind her of her own epic high school relationship, the way he strutted around like the Football God of Sugar Maple.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Andy, you know I begged for them to let you stay with me when Dad got the job transfer.”
“Chill. Stop being such a Chad.” Andy offered a backhand wave, leaving Mary-Beth feeling like she should lay down some house rules.
“Be back here by nine when I close up.”
“See you at ten.”
“Andy. I mean it.” Did she pull off the “mom” voice?
He slipped on his Aviator sunglasses but tipped them down in that oh-so-familiar jock way and said, “Football, remember?”
“Right. Okay, see you at ten.” Feeling like she’d read the Cliff’s Notes for Parenting High School Boys instead of the five-volume manual, she sighed and returned to what she did best, making coffee. Each brew was distinctive—sophisticated for Jackie, sweet for Carissa, bitter with a hint of sugar for Stella, fresh and uplifting for Felicia.
The Sugar Maple Courthouse clock tower struck three, warning her that all four of her friends would be arriving for their Fabulous Five Operation Wedding Decorations.
Through the front window, Mary-Beth watched Jackie click across the town square in her skyscraper designer heels, like a model racing for her monthly ration of fat-free, sugar-free, taste-free chocolate-covered celery stalk. But she wasn’t a fashion model. She wasn’t racing. And she wasn’t free. Like Mary-Beth, she secretly held on to the past to avoid the future. Jackie was prickly but a good friend who loaned Mary-Beth designer clothes and constantly told her to stop wearing too much jewelry. Jackie paused at the front steps, waiting for the others to catch-up, wrapping a garland like a boa around her neck and holding a bag at her side. A sophisticated cappuccino with a hint of fresh-shaved hazelnut and a dash of Ceylon Cinnamon waited in her place by the side window, where a crisp fall breeze floated inside.
The opposite in attitude and fashion sense was Sassy Stella, who pulled up in her 1957 Chevy wearing combat boots, faux leather jacket, and heaps of in-your-face attitude. With one glance at the I-don’t-care grin on her face, Mary-Beth was sure she’d perfected the bitter coffee with a dollop of almond whipped cream stirred into a white swirl. The girl would never drink something with bling. Stella was the shield in Mary-Beth’s life. The one who always had her back and would break down doors and men to keep her safe.
She inhaled the hint of pumpkin from Carissa’s cup. Sweet, sensible creation that fit her dependable baker friend’s soul. The girl was only a call away.
In the middle, between Stella and Jackie, Mary-Beth placed Felicia, the negotiator of the group. Her London Fog made with lavender and a hint of lemon would provide a brightness with a hint of calm. The perfect pick-me-up after working at her nursery in the drizzling rain all morning.
Fall brought all sorts of weather. Most people thought of it as the end of summer, but Mary-Beth always thought of it as the beginning of hot beverage season. Her f
avorite season.
The bell over the door jingled their arrival, and as if staged, they each snagged their drinks for a whiff, a sip, and a smile.
“Ah, the Coffee Whisperer strikes again. Perfection.” Felicia settled in, laying out leaves in the center of the table.
Jackie dropped the garland next to the pile of vibrant oranges and yellows and placed the bag on the floor by her side. “You are too southern, girl. Always ready to please with a beverage and a smile.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you all enjoy my drinks enough to want to meet here. I needed to be available when Andy had a break between school and football.” Mary-Beth settled between Carissa and Stella. “Let’s get started.”
“You know you’re the most amazing sister-turned-parent ever.” Sweet Carissa’s diamond ring flashed under the LED-lighted chandelier overhead. The girl beamed brighter than any piece of jewelry since her proposal to Drew Lancaster.
“I try, but raising a high school boy wasn’t part of my life plans. Still, I don’t mind. It allowed him to graduate here and not have to move with my father’s job transfer. It won’t be long before he’s off for college.”
“How’s it being back around the old football field? I mean, all those memories for you and all.” Jackie didn’t even try to hide her attempt at fishing into Mary-Beth’s romantic life, but Mary-Beth wouldn’t even nibble.
“Carissa, it won’t be long before we’re planning your wedding to Drew and Stella’s to Knox.” Mary-Beth elbowed Stella, ignoring her glower.
“No making a fuss over my wedding. Knox and I’ll go to the Justice of the Peace or maybe have you all come to the garage for a ceremony.”
“Please.” Jackie rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t Knox owe it to his fans to film the wedding? He’s the number-one internet sensation in the world now. How you two ever ended up together is beyond my imagination.”
Stella shoved an orange leaf into the garland next to another orange one, sending Jackie into a panic.
She flipped her auburn hair behind her shoulder and snagged the epic error away from Stella, who had no doubt done it on purpose just to annoy Jackie. It didn’t take much to make her mad these days, though. “Not like that. Didn’t you learn patterns in kindergarten?”
“I don’t know, did you learn how to share?” Stella shot back.
Negotiator Felicia jumped into the center of the not-so-friendly friendship circle. “I think Ms. Horton is going to love all our efforts. Especially since we’re a team again. Sweet Carissa is making the most delicious cake, Jackie did the dress, Stella is helping put together the decorations at the McCadden Farm, and Mary-Beth is organizing everything at the farm.”
“And you’re doing all the flowers.” Mary-Beth added to the list before everyone gave her the sorrowful glance of lost loves and hopeless romantic notions.
“How you dealing with being on the farm?” Stella asked.
The table jolted, telling Mary-Beth someone had kicked Stella into submission.
“Stop. All of you, that was forever ago. I’ve moved on.” Mary-Beth looked across the table. “Now Jackie, though…”
Jackie held up her hand, as if trying to win a fly-swatting competition. “No. I’m not on trial here. We’re not having Ms. Horton’s wedding on my ex-boyfriend’s farm.” Jackie adjusted the leaves that Carissa had added and made them even more beautiful. That was her gift. Making things pretty.
“Please, he won’t even be there.” Mary-Beth lifted her own cup to her lips. “He’s been gone forever and a month.” Even as the words left her lips, she wondered how she’d make it through watching someone else marry on the spot she’d thought would be her wedding venue one day.
“A farm you thought you’d be living at for the rest of your life,” Jackie shot back.
Mary-Beth felt her hackles rise. “Maybe you’d be less prickly if you were to try dating.”
“Maybe you should take your own advice.”
Felicia cleared her throat. “You know, Declan took me to a great place in Creekside a few weeks ago.”
Poor girl tried to keep the peace, but she was going to develop an ulcer if she wasn’t careful, always negotiating the Fabulous Five drama. “Sounds nice. Maybe I’ll ask my date tonight if we can go there next time,” Mary-Beth announced to let Jackie know how wrong she was.
“This is date three tonight, right?” Jackie asked.
Mary-Beth eyed the cups. “Yeah, so?”
“We chipped in for a three-date gift.” Jackie’s expression morphed from combative to pleasant way too fast.
Mary-Beth’s hair stood on the back of her neck in warning of a friendship ambush. “That’s sweet of you, but I don’t need anything.”
“Oh, I think you’ll need these.”
Jackie opened the shoebox to unveil two pink, bedazzled, bejeweled, bewilderingly decorated tennis shoes. “Ah…thanks?”
“She figured you’d need these since you always run after the third date,” Stella said in an abrupt, I’m-not-sure-you-got-the-joke tone.
“I understand the purpose.”
“I tell you what. Let’s make this interesting.” Jackie’s evil grin made Mary-Beth stiffen. “You run from Seth, a guy you said after date one you thought you liked, then you have to wear these for one entire day in public.”
“And if I go on a fourth date, you have to go on one date with someone here in Sugar Maple of our choice.”
“Please, you’ll never go on a fourth date with anyone.”
“At least I go on dates. Unlike some people, I’ve moved on.”
“Ouch, southern girl’s been taking some lessons from me,” Stella mumbled under her breath but loud enough for all to hear.
Jackie shoved the shoes across the table and snagged her purse. “I don’t date because I’m not staying. I have plans for my life. But it’s a deal. That’s how confident I am you won’t make it through a fourth date.”
“It’s been over a year. When will you admit you’re not returning to the big city?” Mary-Beth asked but instantly wished she could pull her words back. They’d been friends without fail. Mary-Beth had even stayed by her side during the epic Judas Jackie man-stealing incident.
Jackie stiffened, her chin shot high, and she gathered her things.
Mary-Beth twirled her earring, trying to think of something witty to change the subject but decided on humble words instead. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I know it’s got to be harder to get over a divorce than a high school sweetheart running off for a college scholarship.”
Jackie pointed at the garland. “Make sure to finish that before you leave. I need to get to an appointment with a distributor for my new winter line.”
“Jackie, come on. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Guilt ravished Mary-Beth, so she followed Jackie to the door.
Jackie paused, her gaze fixed out the front windows.
Mary-Beth yearned to make everything better for Jackie, but how do you repair a marriage that took down Jackie’s business and her heart all before she knew what was happening?
“I know that,” Jackie said. “I’m sorry, too.”
“For what?” Mary-Beth eyed Jackie, feeling a hint of warning creeping up from inside.
The roar of a bike echoed through the town square, and Jackie faced Mary-Beth with a questioning gaze. “I guess we’re about to see how well you’re really over Tanner McCadden.”
Mary-Beth’s muscles tightened, twisted, and turned her inside out. “What do you mean?”
Jackie pointed to a man unsaddling his Harley. He turned with the unmistakable football God, crowd pleasing, I’m-going-to-own-your-heart, sexy, haunting, lopsided grin.
Chapter Two
Leaves canopied the town square in rich crimson and yellow. Tanner had forgotten how beautiful Sugar Maple could be, with its rich vegetation and small-town charm. He removed his helmet, set it on the seat, and ran his hands through his disheveled, sweaty hair from the last four hours of driving.
The square looked familiar
yet foreign, with new storefronts, more businesses, and new residents he didn’t recognize. That’s what happened when you avoided home for over a decade. Townspeople fluttered around the area, some gossiping about the dangerous stranger invading their territory, others pointing with a hint of recognition in their eyes. If he could’ve entered town incognito and ghosted away in the night, he would have, but that wasn’t going to be an option. Not with his brother deployed, his father gone, and his mom alone to run the entire farm.
He rubbed the pain in his chest. The one that reared up each time he thought of his father’s death. They’d been close once, before the man practically threw Tanner out of the tree house before he’d learned to fly. Sure, he’d come to his college football games until Tanner lost his scholarship and his father’s dream of Tanner making it to the NFL. After that, Dad had turned his back on his biggest disappointment, his eldest son.
“Well, if it isn’t Tanner, as we live, breathe, and I thought we’d probably die before he’d ever bless us with his presence again.” None other than Jaqueline Raynor strutted out the door of a coffeehouse with all the drama of a superstar attending an awards ceremony, and he had a feeling that he was about to witness a grand performance.
“Heya, Jackie.” He unzipped his jacket and slid it from his shoulders, buying himself a minute to prepare for whatever she was about to sling his way. His brother had filled him in on some stuff before he’d been shipped out, shortly after Tanner had left for college, and it sounded like the Fabulous Five had declared war on him. Well, the four since Mary-Beth had left for college before he could even pack for his own new life. Somehow, some way, he was labeled the bad guy, despite the fact that after they quarreled one time over his choice to attend Notre Dame instead of the University of Tennessee, she’d taken off without a word or phone call, and cut him out of her life forever. He’d been the one to try to patch things up, but she’d never answered any of his calls, text messages, notes. Nothing. She had ghosted him.
