by Leanne Davis
The few spare hours she had were usually spent with Jacob and his wide swath of friends. Jacob knew people from Everett all the way down to Seattle. He partied hard. And even outdid her.
At one such party, Cami had to hold her hand over her glass to keep Jacob from refilling it. “No. I’m good.”
“Ah, Cami. It’s never good.” Jacob nearly fell over as he tried to stumble his way back towards the kitchen. He had no trouble hooking up with drugs: anything from pot to pills, and every once in a while, hard street drugs. The first few times Cami realized he was using something far more serious and having a much steeper high, she was really shocked. She remembered the days with her mother who was always under the influence of something. Seeing Jacob like that seemed almost a joke. The well-dressed, suburban, upper middle-class, young man named Jacob Starr got so high and sloppy, he often disgusted her.
“I don’t know, Charlie. Jacob takes partying to a level I can’t even describe. He’s going to be on probation after this quarter, I really doubt he’ll stay in school much longer,” she told Charlie in February.
“I wish you didn’t have to live there. Just be careful, Cams. Don’t get caught up in Jacob’s mistakes. You know I’ve never judged you for the dabbling here and there, but please don’t go any further.”
“Dabbling? Jacob’s a regular consumer. I swear, I think sometimes he must be selling it, but he denies it anytime I corner him.”
“At least he isn’t living there all the time. How’s Brett and Trinity towards you?”
“They are very nice. Besides, I pay the rent on time even if I’m so rarely here, and that has to help. Brianna is around a lot. Hanging out with her is fun. Plus, I’m mostly quiet and I never bring any guys home. Honestly? I’m so rarely here, they hardly see me.”
He sighed. “You think Brett knows what Jacob’s up to?”
“Probably not the full extent. He’s seen how his son parties and I think he tells himself it’s just the lifestyle at college and all that, but Jacob parties like there’s no tomorrow. He drinks more alcohol and uses more kinds of drugs than anyone I’ve ever done them with. His benders are pretty epic and the sheer volume of them makes me wonder how far he can take it.”
“Just don’t get too involved.”
“He’s still our friend. If I think he’s going too far, shouldn’t I get involved?”
“He’s got two parents, so you should stay out of it.”
“Charlie, that’s not very friend-like. You sound more like a jealous boyfriend.”
Charlie sighed heavily. “I am that.”
“Don’t be. I want nothing to do with Jacob. Besides, the snobby prick criticizes the kids who live at Shield Shelter and he lives far worse than most of them despite having all the greatest opportunities and two loving parents to constantly prop him up. What does he do? He squanders it all and then dares to look down his nose on the homeless youth? Ha. I have no time for such hypocrisy.”
“I can’t say I’m disappointed to hear you talk that way about him. Besides, I was thinking…”
“What?” Her tone was a half groan. Usually at this time year, Charlie added extra time to their separations, blaming it on some new thing he needed to do or conquer or some new place he wanted to see. She gripped her phone, steadying her breath and preparing herself. Whatever it was, she felt she could handle it. She’d handled everything he asked of her, or threw at her to date, so whatever this was, she would simply add it to the list. Who knew what he might come up with? Sailing solo around the world? Taking a photo safari through Africa? Backpacking in the outback of Australia? Whatever it was, Cami knew it would include a long time and a great distance, because that seemed to be Charlie’s way.
“Well, could you come here? Maybe for a vacation this summer? After you finish your camp activities? Fly here and stay for ten days or so? I can’t wait to show you around. It would be so much better than touring or sightseeing all by myself.”
“Charlie. Me? Vacation in freaking Europe? Are you nuts? I can’t afford anything like that.”
“My dad can and said he will. Don’t object. He already agreed to it. I really want to see you. This has been… really hard.”
To Cami, it just seemed normal. She bit her lip and did not give voice to the thought. Okay, maybe it was taking a little longer than normal. But still, it was very much the norm for Cami over the last five years. This time was so much better and easier for her, because she’d been so busy.
“Just imagine it. When will you have another chance? Think of the experience. It will be amazing. Please, Cami?”
She blinked, trying to remember the last time Charlie begged her to visit him. Then she realized he never begged her for anything. Charlie also never seriously missed her like this before, exactly what she longed to have happen. She recalled all the years and the first time when he was a freshman starting college. Now, an international student with a master’s degree and an internship, he should have been more focused on that. Like he usually was. What was so different?
“I guess so. I mean, I have to ask Kianna if I can get the time off.” Charlie was totally silent. “Charlie?”
“I thought you’d be excited. Not looking for excuses not to come. Forget I asked, you don’t have to come.”
She bit her lip when he sounded like a petulant child acting out because he didn’t get his way. She dismissed the attitude. “I want to come, I’m just busy here and it’s not easy to find someone to cover the night shift at Shield Shelter. Kianna always ends up doing it and she also works all day. It’s irresponsible, Charlie. I can’t just leave her in the lurch for an entire week to go freaking jet-setting.”
He snorted. “Jet-setting? Ha. Wait until you see the one-room dive I have to stay in.”
“Well, we’ll go see the sights and visit the museums to see old stuff, right?
“Yeah. We will. Sure. I just wish you sounded happier about it.”
Cami nearly screeched. “I’m not unhappy. I’m busy. I have serious obligations and I don’t intend to totally space out or flake on them. That would harm Kianna and the kids. I wouldn’t risk that after they’ve been so amazing to me in offering me the job opportunity and letting me grow into it. They also approve of my work and my presence, which is important.”
“I’m sorry.” His tone was apologetic. “It’s just… I miss you so much here. Maybe because everything’s so different and—”
“I’ll try to get away. I swear. It’ll be my next goal. And I’ll thank Jack for agreeing to it.”
“You don’t have to. He says all the work you’ve done on the camp rises far above and beyond what they’d have to pay anybody else. I could hear the joy in his voice when he spoke about you. You should be very proud of yourself, Cams.” Dropping his tone, he said it with candid sincerity and she felt it all across the miles. “I am. I really am so proud of you with the work you’re doing, the difference you’re making, and just who you are in general.”
She smiled. That was nice to hear. The rush of pleasure nearly burst her heart, but better still, it was nice to get the compliment from Charlie. Years ago, it might have triggered a crazy deep reaction of gratitude to hear those words, but it would have soothed her crippling insecurity. She wasn’t crippled anymore. Neither by her own insecurities, nor Charlie’s frequent absences. She stiffened her back. Damn, that was nice.
They said their goodbyes. Cami couldn’t count how many of those she said over the years. It was amazing what one could get used to.
****
Cami was assigned by Kianna to be the camp coordinator. That meant she could move back home for the duration of the camp to coordinate with Jack and Joey. They were her main contacts. Jack, naturally, because he ran the horse barn and Joey secured all the lodging and food. They used the arena’s grill to feed the campers and the resort to house them. For many of the kids, it would turn out to be the nicest place they ever stayed. The generosity and kindness of the Rydells by shutting down the resort to the other
vacationers and all the money they would have earned from people during the prime summer weeks amazed both Cami and Kianna. A multitude of teens and young adults that they supervised wanted to go to camp so they rented a bus to take them all to the Rydell River Ranch and Resort.
“Is this place for real?” Sammy asked as her head swung back and forth in awe when she first glimpsed it.
“It’s for real and it’s for all of you to enjoy for the next two weeks,” Cami said. She couldn’t stop grinning as she helped throw their bags and backpacks out of the cargo area, reuniting them with their owners. A total of forty kids, some of whom were staying at the many Shield Shelter locations or their affiliates, arrived. All of them were foster kids that signed up for the camp.
The first rule of order was assigning all the rooms. Then they allowed a few hours for the kids to get acclimated. They agreed to meet at four o’clock to discuss the rules, policies and procedures, as well as the times for meals. Horseback riding and all the other planned activities were listed. There was also swimming, beach days, and full use of the resort pool. The basketball and tennis courts were open and available, along with indoor gaming rooms that were recently added to the resort. The schedule for all the different activities and events was posted and the kids rushed to sign up for them as well as the various levels of horseback riding lessons.
It was organized chaos. Cami took note of several things to change or do differently next year, but overall, they accomplished quite a decent job between the planning and the funding for this many kids to attend the camp. Providing an extended stay with no blueprint to do so was truly a feat. Kids ran everywhere on the ranch and swam and enjoyed the river and the beach. Some of them had never played in real sand on a beach, just the sandboxes at parks. They built bonfires at night and many of the kids made s’mores for the first time in their lives. The older ones rolled their eyes at the occasional sing-a-longs, but most of them joined in eventually, Cami noted. The brutal sun was tempered by the excessive application of lotion and sunscreen to combat and soothe any sunburns. Maintaining constant supervision of the younger teens, as well as the older ones, Cami had to make sure no underage drinking or sex games went on. Cami knew exactly what those games were and where they’d sneak off to play them. She was revered as the “Queen of Prevention” on the ranch. No one dared to trick her or hide from her or try to get away with anything.
“Who knew all those years that I tested the limits would have so much value later on?” she quipped to Charlie on the phone. He laughed and added he was glad she could finally take advantage of it.
All the Rydells took turns getting involved with the kids. Erin and Jack, with Ben and Jocelyn’s help, handled the horses and riding. But Ian, Kailynn, Joey, Hailey, Shane, Allison, Kate and AJ all took turns showing them how to saddle the horses, as well as helping out in general. They all enjoyed pitching in with the supervision duties. Many hands were required to make everything safe and sane, yet fun and functional for the large group. They even hired additional help to assist in the meal preparations three times a day.
Her dad wrapped his arm around Cami’s shoulders, squeezing her. “You did something amazing here, Cami. I am so proud of you. It’s… like you know how these kids feel. The experience of this has also filled me with hope and shown me a whole different way of life and a new way to live.”
Cami beamed. “That’s exactly what I hoped would happen, and if it changes only one person’s life and attitude, I would be satisfied.”
“It’ll be more than one, I guarantee it. They will never forget this experience or the unconditional love and care shown by so many, when so few have done anything nice for them. These kinds of kids, as you know…”
She nodded. “Yeah, they need it the most. They haven’t been on the receiving end of too many good things.”
“Exactly. I’m so proud of you for giving back. I can’t say I ever did, even though I hated foster care and I feel sorry for any kid stuck there. I never tried to help another or pay it forward. I just got out. Maybe I should have done more.”
“It’s never too late.” Cami grinned. “You could always foster another kid. Especially with me being gone…”
AJ stared at her, his mouth dropping open. “I never considered that… I guess we could. I mean, we have no other kids to raise and plenty of money… wow…”
Cami barely contained her amazement when she realized how much she inspired others. She stirred up the imaginations of these kids as well as her own father and even Jack.
“Cami, this is exactly what I have been dreaming of doing my entire adult life. I just didn’t know how to make it happen. It’s like something so much bigger than us orchestrated everything and put you at Shield Shelter after you connected here.”
“That’s a really beautiful thought, Jack.”
“It is a beautiful thing…” Jack swept his hand to incorporate the view before them, and several kids who were riding in the arena. Other kids laughed and joked as they ran through the pastures and played to their hearts’ content. Some were getting snacks in the café and watching the kids ride the horses. “We always had so much, I always wondered how to give back. This is it. I want to keep doing this and expanding this.”
“I think we could. Now that we have a model to build from. There would be all kinds of ways to raise the public’s awareness, as well as the funds.”
“I haven’t felt so excited about the ranch and my work here in more than a decade. Yes, let’s plan on it.” His eyes glowed with delight and his grin was huge.
Cami felt high, unlike she ever expected. The kids were all smiling and laughing, joking and playing, and she remembered how she and Charlie, Jacob, and Brianna enjoyed the ranch together during the summers. It warmed her heart to see and made her nostalgic for all those wonderful summers. But this would be better. She had given the kids something to cling to as happy and fun as what she always enjoyed. It gave them a break, a vacation, a chance to rest and relax and just be kids. To see something new that also provided a source of hope.
“It’s a pretty powerful feeling,” Cami told Charlie on the very last day. She helped everyone pack and they loaded up the bus before they drove across the state to Shield Shelter, at the Seattle campus. That was where many of the foster parents met them to pick up the kids and take them back to their homes. Some stayed at that campus house and others went with Cami and Kianna to Everett. A little further north was the last house and drop-off point.
“I wish I could see it. Next year maybe, when we’ll both be there. We’ll make it a date.”
“Yes. We will. I have so many great ideas for this.”
“I love hearing your excitement and I am so proud of you. Nothing but rave reviews about you from Dad, Erin, Ben, and Jocelyn, well, from all my aunts and uncles actually, and especially my Aunt Kate,” he teased. She gripped the phone and tilted her head down.
“I am pretty proud of me, I’ll admit. It was even better than I hoped for or could have dreamed of. You know what else?”
“What?”
“It reminded me of all those things you said over the last few years, remember? Talking about how young we are and all the things you’d still like to do and you were right. There are so many things I might want to do now and the dumb part is I don’t know exactly what they are. I can’t articulate it. But I see now that the older I get, the younger I feel. Isn’t that backasswards? I shouldn’t have a baby so young, and I don’t think I want to anymore. I mean, definitely not now. I feel even younger today than I was at twenty. I feel there is so much I have to see and do. I didn’t know I could do this, but it feels better than anything else I’ve ever done. What if there is something more?”
He sighed over the phone. “There is so much more. That’s exactly how I always felt and what I was trying to explain to you. It wasn’t about not loving you or not wanting to be with you or even having a baby with you.”
“You weren’t ready yet. You had too many things left to do, e
ven if you don’t know exactly what or when. You just want to explore and see.”
“That’s exactly it.”
She shut her eyes and smiled with contentment. “I think we stumbled over the same timeline. We’re not faking it. We can do it now without giving other things up. And without being disingenuous.”
“I must say I never expected us to agree on this.”
“It feels pretty wonderful too, not only for what I just did, but because I’m coming to see you. A week from now. Then we’ll be together.”
His tone over the phone sounded almost reverent. “I can’t wait, Cami. You have no idea. More than ever before, Cams. I can’t wait to see you.”
“All right. I have to go unpack and chill with Sammy and the others for a while. I also have some more goodbyes to make. They are pissed at me for leaving, but overjoyed with me for starting the camp. You should listen to them talk. They constantly reminisce and kid each other. They took lots of pictures and are planning to fill a scrapbook and Jack asked Kailynn to figure out how to do a website. It’s just the beginning, Charlie.”
“For them and us. I feel like this is a new start for us too.”
“It’s always a start or an end because we have to separate. But that’s okay now. I think I finally get it all.”
“I finally get how it was for you too, that’s the funny part.” He said softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how you felt about me and I’m so sorry for not getting that sooner.”
“I’m not. We became the people we are because our relationship progressed slowly, and in a way, we both grew stronger and better for it. Something I never saw at the start. I had a lot of growing up to do and soul-searching before I could find myself. The oddest part is that I only now realize what I want to do. I have tons of work still. But I finally see what I want to do.”
“Well, I’ll be waiting here for you. One week. Don’t leave me hanging.”
She grinned into the phone. “Never. One week.”
Hanging up, she nearly laughed. It all felt different. So much better. A lot like the wave of collective hope she seemed to spread throughout the camp.
