And she’d thought she was all right with that.
She’d thought she was used to going it alone, with the family support system she had.
She’d thought she was okay, taking it one day at a time.
She hadn’t thought she needed a man to love, or love her.
After last night, she knew differently.
Without Tyler in her life, she would never be this happy or feel this content. And yet, because she cared about him so much, she could not see herself saddling him with the fear she dealt with on a daily basis.
He was such a good man.
He deserved so much more than she could give him.
And she was just unselfish enough to want to see he had it.
“Okay, fess up,” Tyler demanded, rolling onto his side. He propped his head on his elbow and gazed deep into her eyes. “What’s on your mind now?”
Everything she had sworn she wouldn’t even consider, she thought with wistful irony.
Susie rolled toward him. “I’m thinking about that Thanksgiving prep party we’re supposed to attend at your parents’ ranch this afternoon,” she fibbed, not wanting anything to spoil the tenderness of this moment. Soon enough, they would have to talk about the limits she had imposed on herself. Limits that would now affect him, too.
Tyler stroked his fingers through her tousled curls, pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. He seemed to know intuitively that she was holding back every bit as much as she was saying.
“What about it?” he asked her softly. He flattened a hand over the small of her back and guided her lower half against his.
A shiver of need swept through her.
She swallowed self-consciously and pressed her hands to his chest, shifting away from him. “One look at us and everyone’s going to know—”
Half his mouth crooked up as he pulled her back into his arms. “That you love me?” he murmured sexily in her ear.
A flush started in the center of her chest, moved up into her neck, and face. “I didn’t say that,” she protested, embarrassed.
“You didn’t have to.” He shifted so she was beneath him and framed her face with his hands, his touch gentling even more. “It was in your kiss and the way you opened up to me, the way you snuggled against me all last night, the way you look at me when you think I don’t see. The thing is,” Tyler continued in a soft, straightforward voice that swiftly had her spirits soaring all the more. “I love you, too.”
“YOU’RE REALLY GLOWING TODAY,” Amy said.
Although Tyler and Susie had been busy since the moment they arrived at Annie and Travis McCabe’s ranch, introducing Emmaline and her parents to everyone and helping the group of high school students put together the Thanksgiving gratitude journals—Susie felt as if she had a sign on her chest announcing Fool In Love. There was no doubt from the permanent smile on Tyler’s face that he was gloriously content, too.
Amy walked with Susie across the Annie’s Homemade product testing room where all the Thanksgiving-prep activity was going on, to the table where Amy had been preparing place cards. “What have you been up to?” Amy continued.
Susie sat down opposite her hopelessly romantic younger sister. Not sure how much she should tell, Susie shrugged. “Work. Lots and lots of work.”
Amy handed Susie a list of names, a stack of cards and a calligraphy pen. “Uh-huh.”
Susie surveyed the room until she found Tyler. He was laughing and roughhousing with his cousin, Brad McCabe’s, preschoolers. It was hard to tell who looked happier, the children or Tyler.
Amy followed Susie’s glance. “Tyler is really great with kids, isn’t he?” Amy murmured.
Susie nodded. Funny, she had never really noticed how much Tyler enjoyed being around kids. Until now. But there was no denying it, he was as good with teenagers like Emmaline, and his younger brothers Kurt and Kyle, as he was with the three- and four-year-old set….
Aware Amy was still observing her carefully, trying to figure out what was different, Susie smiled and went back to writing names on place cards. Deciding to shift the attention to their newly married sister, Susie asked, “Where’s Rebecca? I thought she and Trevor were coming today.”
“Rebecca’s under the weather,” Amy said, as Tyler and Teddy sauntered over to join them.
“Likely story,” Teddy interjected with brotherly skepticism. He and Tyler sat down at the table with Susie and Amy. Seeming to have eyes only for his best friend in all the world, Teddy winked at Amy, and continued sagely, “I think they’re home honeymooning.”
Tyler shook his head, his expression suddenly one of concern. “I don’t think so.” In response to all the raised eyebrows, Tyler continued, “I saw Rebecca at the pharmacy yesterday afternoon. She looked a little green around the gills. She thought she was coming down with something.”
It was the season for it, Susie thought.
“She was lamenting not having gotten a flu shot,” Tyler continued.
“That explains where Rebecca is. But where’s Trev?” Teddy said.
“Home taking care of Rebecca, like any good husband would,” Amy explained.
Teddy grinned and planted both hands on his thighs. “I still say they’re honeymooning. Have you seen those two lately? They’re like a walking billboard for the advisability of marriage.” He tilted his head to one side. “Should true happiness interest you, anyway.”
Susie flushed as her emotions rose. “You don’t have to be married to be happy,” she disagreed, even though she thought that marriage was exactly what someone as family-oriented as Tyler needed to be truly blissful.
“Actually, I think you do,” Annie McCabe interrupted, with a pointed look at her two single sons. She pointed at Tyler and Teddy with a merry twinkle in her eyes. “Which is why I’m on these two to find the women of their dreams and settle down, pronto.”
Teddy groaned in a comic display of aggravation at the motherly advice.
Tyler, Susie couldn’t help but note, merely looked thoughtful.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL your mother how you feel about marriage this afternoon?” Susie asked later, when she and Tyler were on their way over to Healing Meadow so he could check on Catastrophe and Smokey and the four kittens.
Tyler shrugged. “She knows how I’ve always felt. I’ve made no secret of that. Although,” he said slowly with a telling glance at Susie, “I’m beginning to wonder if my attitude was a mistake. Just because I ran away from stuff that was hard to deal with emotionally when I was a kid doesn’t mean I’d do it now with you. In fact,” he said as his big hands gripped the steering wheel purposefully, “I’m certain I wouldn’t.”
Susie wished he didn’t look so handsome in profile. She wished her body didn’t react to his nearness. “What’s changed?”
He gave her a look as if wondering that she even felt she had to ask. “Everything, in the last few days.”
Susie looked out the window, at the scenery passing by. Desperate to move the conversation to safer ground, she said, “Emmaline sure seemed to hit it off with your cousins Kurt and Kyle, and Shane and Greta McCabe’s four daughters.”
Tyler nodded. “I think Emmaline’s going to like being at Laramie Senior High School, once she’s done with her chemo.”
Susie thought so, too. She rubbed at the knee of her jeans with the flat of her palm, wondering if the subject of cancer would ever be less painful for her. Or if it would always carry with it the memory of the past and the fear of the future. “Emmaline’s supposed to find out next week if she has to have any more treatments or if this last one was it.”
“We’ll hope for the best. In the meantime, you and I have the rest of the weekend to do whatever we’d like.” Tyler planted a warm hand on her thigh and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “So, what’s your preference?”
Glad to have the conversation back in territory she could deal with, Susie sent him a saucy smile. Already heating from his touch, she said, “Guess…”
To their mutual pleasure
, the next five days passed quickly.
Tyler and Susie both had a lot of work to do, but they still managed to spend every night together, wrapped in each other’s arms.
By the time Wednesday evening arrived, Tyler McCabe had become an essential part of her life. A fact, she knew, that was going to make it all the harder to let him go when the time came. Meanwhile, she intended to savor the present and enjoy every second they had together.
“I hope you’re ready for this.” Susie breezed into his kitchen, carrying two bags of ingredients she knew they would need.
A perplexed furrow formed between his brows. “I thought you were baking the pies.”
Susie threw back her head and laughed, mentally chalking up the joy flowing through her to building holiday spirit. “You only wish.” She batted her lashes at him flirtatiously. “We’re doing it together while I teach you how to make them.”
“Only one problem with that.” Tyler set the three glass pie dishes onto the counter. “We didn’t get any of those frozen crusts.”
“We’re going to make them from scratch.”
Tyler looked apprehensive. He planted his hands on his waist and rocked forward. “Well, then I’m glad you know what you’re doing,” he drawled, just as playfully, “because I sure don’t.”
“Relax. It’s really not that difficult.”
“If you say so.”
He watched Susie measure four and a half cups of flour into the bottom of a big mixing bowl, add two teaspoons of salt, and a cup and a half of shortening.
Savoring his nearness, she thrust a pastry blender into his large hand. Tightening her fingers over his, she showed him how to use it to cut the ingredients together.
While he mixed, she measured out ice water.
“You’re right. This is kind of easy,” he said, after a while.
Susie smiled.
Together, they added the water to the mixture until it formed a ball.
“Okay, now break that up into four equal pieces, and we’ll be ready to roll the dough out,” she explained, already sprinkling flour onto the wooden cutting board and rolling pin.
Tyler looked doubtfully at both.
“How about you do that while I peel the apples?” he suggested.
“Sure?”
“Positive. I’m a lot handier with a paring knife than a rolling pin.”
“All you have to do is peel and quarter them. We can slice them in the food processor. It’ll save time.”
“I’m all for that.” He gave her a sexy wink. “I don’t want to spend all of this evening slaving over a hot stove.”
Susie slapped the dough onto the cutting board. “Got a poetry reading in mind?”
“Something romantic,” he affirmed.
Susie’s heartbeat picked up. These days, it seemed they could not keep their hands off each other. Eyes still locked with his, she patted the dough flat with her hands. “Such as…”
“We’ll have to finish this to find out,” he declared with exaggerated seriousness.
“I’m sure we will,” she countered drily, picking up the rolling pin.
“Then I plan to show you my…etchings.”
Susie chuckled as she began to roll out the pastry. Tyler smiled, watching. Every inch of her felt vibrant, alive and healthy as all get-out.
Trying not to get used to this kind of hope-infused euphoria, she tore her eyes from his and looked past Tyler, into the laundry room. The door was open, the room quiet. Realizing what was amiss, she asked curiously, “Where are Smokey and her kittens?”
“One of the vet techs took ’em all home,” Tyler said. “She’s going to adopt Smokey and one of the kittens and find homes for the other three. It shouldn’t be hard to do since Christmas is coming up.”
Given how hard he had worked to find the missing felines, and how he had fussed over them since, Susie had thought—erroneously, she saw now—that he had developed a fondness for them that would spur him to keep at least some of them in his life. Instead, he had fallen back into old habits, doing what needed to be done to help an animal—or person—in need, and then moving on without a backward glance.
That should have been a comfort to her. Knowing he would bounce back when they inevitably had to part, and go their separate ways once again.
Instead, it left her feeling incredibly lonely and bereft.
Tyler set a peeled, quartered apple into the bowl Susie had provided. He paused, studying her face, obviously misunderstanding the reason for her concern. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think to ask. Did you want one of the kittens?”
Pets were a big responsibility, and a commitment of many, many years. In the past Susie hadn’t had to think twice about whether or not to undertake something like that. With the exception of her business, which she had already arranged to leave to her sister Amy should anything happen to her, she had not pledged anything that would require time commitments that stretched into the future. For the first time, she was beginning to regret that attitude. And it was all because of Tyler. Because of all he made her long for now. All he still deserved.
Aware he was waiting for her answer, unwilling to spoil the mood with any talk about the future, she shook her head in reply. “I think I have my hands full, teaching you how to bake.”
“No kidding.” Tyler watched her fit one sheet of pastry into the dish, and pick up another pastry ball. He came closer, a studious look on his handsome face. “On second thought, maybe this is a skill I should learn. Mind if I try rolling out the dough?”
She smiled and stepped aside, her arm brushing his in the process. Aware she was tingling warmly from the small contact, she conceded graciously, “Not at all.”
He took over with typical gusto, mimicking her actions right down to the sprinkling of flour over board, pin and dough. “This isn’t as hard as I thought.” He settled the flattened disc onto the center of the board, pushed the pin over the crust with masculine force, then frowned as the middle stuck to the pin and pulled all the way up, off the board. “On second thought, yes it is.”
Susie stepped in and helped him disengage the pin and dough. “Just add a little more flour. Sprinkle it right there. And roll a little less forcefully.” Susie put her hands over his and guided the rolling pin just so, moving it back and forth in a slow rhythm.
Tyler rocked with her, totally getting into the task.
“First time anyone’s told me to do that,” he teased.
Flushing at the unmistakable innuendo in his low tone, Susie replied with mock sternness, “Well, get used to it. Unless you’re pounding out meat, a heavy touch is seldom required in the kitchen.”
His brow lifted.
The heat inside her increased.
“What about the bedroom? What kind of touch is required there?”
“Oh, I think you’ve got the moves there down pat.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
He smiled, and kept rolling, back and forth, back and forth.
In and out, in and out.
Honestly, she had to stop thinking like that….
Had to stop wanting him like that.
Had to stop thinking that a life without him wouldn’t be much of a life at all.
She’d been alone before.
She could—and would—be alone again.
Forcing her attention back to the task, she stepped away from him. Adapting the attitude of teacher, she observed as her “student” achieved the desired result, and clumsily transferred the flat disc to the glass pie pan. “See?” she praised, pleased and impressed. “You can do it.”
Tyler turned and gave her one of his “Aw shucks, ma’am” grins. “I can do anything when I’m with you. You make me feel like a superhero.” He inclined his head to one side in a parody of thoughtfulness.
She couldn’t help but smile, he looked so darn cute, standing there with flour all over him.
Seeming to know just how attractive he was to her at that moment, he waggled his brows
at her teasingly. “Or is it…Supercook?”
She rubbed at a smudge on his shirt. “We better stay focused or we’ll never get this done.”
He caught her hand and touched his lips to the inside of her wrist. Sensuality simmered between them, as potent and evocative as the fragrance of sugar and spice wafting up from the counters. “And we definitely want to get our work done so we can go play,” he murmured, reeling her in for a long, heartfelt kiss.
Emotions in turmoil, she kissed him back. Then pushed at his chest. “Peel.”
He sighed loudly and went back to the apples. “Slave driver.”
“Yeah, well, you’ll thank me later.”
He waggled his eyebrows at her, giving an entirely new meaning to her words. “I imagine I will.”
Fifteen minutes later, all the crusts were rolled out, the pumpkin pie was already in the oven, the pecan was ready to be put in, and Tyler was nearly done peeling the bag of crisp Granny Smith apples. Making short work of what could have been an arduous job, Susie ran them through the slicing blade of the food processor, then dumped them back into the bowl.
Tyler paused to taste a slice. He moaned appreciatively. “These apples are really good.”
“They look good.”
“Taste.” He lifted one to her lips.
“Don’t—” Susie started to say. Too late, he had popped apple in her mouth.
The flavor exploded on her tongue.
He laughed at the face she made.
“Wow, that’s tart,” she managed as soon as she finished chewing.
Grinning, he let his glance drift to the hollow of her throat, before returning to her lips, and then her eyes. Cupping her cheek with the flat of his palm, he ran his fingers through the hair at her temples. His eyes glimmered mischievously and his voice dropped another husky notch. “As long as you’re puckered up…” He bent his head once again, and fit his lips over hers.
The sweet-tart flavor of apple mingled with the hotter, masculine taste of his mouth. Before Susie knew it, her arms were laced about his neck. They were kissing and kissing and kissing. Only the sound of the oven buzzer, signaling it was time to lower the temperature from 425 to 350, broke them apart.
The Rancher's Family Thanksgiving Page 16
