by Anna King
Rubbing his hand over his face, Bernard muttered, ‘I’m sorry, William. It seems to be your misfortune in life to be the bearer of bad news. Are you sure this woman will take Ruby on? I don’t want to tell her she has been found a place and then have to tell her that it’s fallen through. She’d think I was stalling for time.’
‘I think it’s safe to say that Lady Caldworthy will be agreeable to taking Ruby on. She’s a lonely old woman in spite of her sharp tongue, and with my recommendation I don’t foresee any difficulty.’
With a tremendous effort, Bernard slapped his knees in a jovial fashion and exclaimed, ‘Well, then, I think it’s time we had the person in question in here. I’m sure she’s waiting anxiously for my answer.’
Getting to his feet, he walked towards the door.
* * *
‘Lily, Lily, wake up!’
Lily jumped, then winced as the muscles in her neck sent a shooting pain up to her head. Rubbing the back of her neck gingerly, she carefully turned her head and peered through the dimness of the room to where Ruby was standing by the door.
‘Do you mind if I turn the lamp up, Lily?’ she asked, her hand already on its knob.
As the warm light flooded the room, Lily looked at Ruby’s flushed happy face and felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. So she’d got her own way, but she’d never supposed otherwise. Fighting down the sick feeling that was now creeping up into her throat, she forced a smile to her tight lips and said brightly, ‘Well, don’t stand there grinning like someone just let out of Bedlam! Tell me what happened.’
‘Will you come into my room, Lily? We can talk when I’m in bed. To tell the truth, I don’t know what’s hurting more at the moment, my corsets or my stump.’
Without a word, Lily followed Ruby past the bathroom and into her room, and when 15 minutes later Ruby had been divested of her clothes and jewellery, her face washed and her hair combed out and falling round her shoulders, she sat propped up on her pillows and, taking hold of Lily’s hand, began to talk. ‘It’s all settled. Well, nearly. Dr Benson has a woman patient who’s looking for a companion, and he’s going to make a special trip out to Islington tomorrow to see her and tell her about me. He’s certain she’ll give me the job, although he did warn me she’s a bit of a tartar; but who cares? I’ll be working for a living, doing a real job and getting paid for it. Oh, Lily, I can’t tell you what this means to me! It’s as if I’m about to be set free. I know that sounds ungrateful, and I’ll miss Mum, Dad, Bertie and George – and you, of course – but for years I’ve resented everyone in the house because every single one of you had something to do, while I just sat and watched and envied you all your normality. That’s all over now. Now I’ll be able to talk about what I did and the people I met. I’ll be just like anyone else – normal – and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.’
Lily could feel the lump settling in her throat as she continued to nod and smile, and knew she must speak and appear to be glad for Ruby. ‘A companion’ was it? Well, to her mind, the doctor and the master must have put their heads together to find Ruby a cushy job, and somewhere not too far from home either. The way she saw it, this so-called job had been created merely for the purpose of keeping Ruby happy, just as any doting parent would buy a new toy for their child, a toy the child had whined and cried for, only to watch the child tire of it and discard it before turning its attention to something else. Ruby obviously didn’t realise what her father had done, and she wasn’t about to enlighten her. Instead, she patted Ruby’s hand and said in what she hoped was an enthusiastic voice, ‘I’m glad for you, Ruby. I hope you get on with the old girl, whoever she is, but I’ll miss you.’
‘Oh, and I’ll miss you, Lily. But as soon as I get my first day off we’ll go up to the West End and I’ll treat you to the best meal you’ve ever had, even if it does take all my pay! I’ll enjoy it all the more because it’ll be my money: money I’ve earned.’
Now Lily was forced to pull her hand away. The smile slipped from her face as she said flatly, ‘I won’t be here. I’ll be long gone before you get the chance to come back home.’
Ruby’s face stretched wide in astonishment. ‘What do you mean – you won’t be here? Oh, Lily, I know you don’t want me to go, but surely you wouldn’t leave here just to spite me?’
Now it was Lily’s turn to look amazed. ‘Spite you? You think I’d leave my home, and it is my home, just to spite you? Good God, Ruby, don’t you realise that, once you’ve gone, there’ll be no need for my services? Your father isn’t going to pay my wages to sit around waiting for you to come back on your odd afternoons and days off.’ She was on her feet now, her face turned away so that Ruby couldn’t see the pain she was suffering.
Ruby stared at the stiff back of her best friend, her thoughts galloping wildly. Lord, what a fool she’d been! So wrapped up in her own private thoughts and desires that she hadn’t realised that if she left, Lily would automatically be put out of a job. She couldn’t let that happen. ‘Lily, I’m sorry I’ve been selfish. I always assumed you’d be here for me. But don’t worry, I’ll have a word with Mum, you’ll see! She’ll find another position for you, I know she will. She’s as fond of you as I am, as we all are. You’re like one of the family, Lily, nobody’s going to make you leave!’
Lily heard the earnest appeal in Ruby’s voice, and shuddered. Would she really be kept on? She’d do anything, anything at all as long as she was allowed to stay here. Although for now she must put her best face on, she mustn’t spoil this evening for Ruby. ‘We’ll see, Ruby. But don’t you worry about me. I can look after myself, so you just concentrate on getting that job, eh?’ Tucking the bedclothes in round Ruby, she turned down the lamp and left the room hurriedly.
As she watched the door close, Ruby felt the air leave her body. She felt deflated now, all the excitement of the day had gone. Lying against her pillows, she stared into the darkness and thought fiercely, ‘If Mum won’t keep Lily on, then I’ll stay. I will! I’ll stay here rather than see Lily thrown out of her home.’ Then, turning her face into the pillows, she wept.
* * *
Ten days later Ruby stood beside Daisy, two suitcases on the ground in front of them as they stared up at the four-storey house that was to be Ruby’s new home. Ruby could feel her body trembling with excitement and apprehension, and for a wild, brief moment she was tempted to take her mum’s hand and say, ‘I’ve changed my mind, Mum, take me home’, but of course she would do no such thing. She wasn’t going to give in before she’d even started. Swallowing the sick feeling in her throat, she turned to Daisy and said brightly, ‘Well, this is it, Mum! Now don’t forget what you promised. You’ll keep Lily on for at least six months, just in case I don’t like the job or Lady Caldworthy doesn’t take to me.’
Daisy looked at the dear face before her, and nodded reassuringly. ‘I have no intention of letting Lily go, she’s far too valuable. There’s plenty for her to do around the house, so you just worry about yourself. Dr Benson will fetch you home on your first afternoon off, and he’s promised to take you back again in the evening. If for any reason he can’t, then Bertie will hire a cab and see you safely back here. And, Ruby, if at any time you feel you want to come home, don’t let pride stand in your way. Promise me.’
‘I promise, Mum. Look, you’d better go, the cabbie is waiting. I can manage from here.’ The next minute, she was in her mother’s arms, both of them fighting to hold back their tears. Then Ruby felt herself being pushed gently away and watched as Daisy climbed into the carriage, her handkerchief dabbing at her eyes.
Ruby watched until the cab had disappeared from sight before returning her gaze to the house. The words of Dr Benson came back to her, words he had said last night when he’d found her alone in the library selecting a few books to take with her to her new employment.
‘I know you don’t like your handicap being referred to,’ he had started awkwardly, ‘but you must realise that here, in this house, you’ve been shelter
ed and loved. It will be different once you leave. People can be cruel, Ruby. You must prepare yourself for unsavoury curiosity and unpleasant comments. Just remember, you are a beautiful and intelligent young woman, and your strength of character will stand you in good stead. Remember that the majority of people are ignorant and treat them as such; it’s the only way you’ll survive.’ She paused for a moment longer, then, jutting out her chin, she picked up her cases and began to walk towards the house.
Chapter Fourteen
Lady Mabel Caldworthy had been a legend in her day. She had been married four times, each of her husbands younger than his predecessor. There had even, at one time, been talk concerning the Prince of Wales – whether there had been any truth in it, no one knew for sure – but it was interesting to note that her second husband had petitioned for divorce shortly after the rumours had started flying. Now in her 70th year, she no longer bore any resemblance to the young beautiful woman who had set London alight with speculation. The once raven-black hair was now pure white and twisted up into a wispy knot at the back of her head, and the beautiful face that had driven men mad with desire was now buried forever beneath a morass of deep lines and wrinkles. But if time had been cruel to her outward appearance, it had compensated by leaving her remarkably shrewd brain intact. Shifting slightly in her favourite armchair, she settled her large bulk into a more comfortable position as she continued to appraise the young girl standing awkwardly in front of her. William had said she was a beauty, and he was right – not that it would do the poor girl any good saddled as she was by a peg-leg. If she were entertaining any thoughts of finding a husband, she would have to seek one from the lower classes; but then, one never knew, men were strange creatures, as she herself knew only too well. Clearing her throat loudly, she addressed the girl.
‘I trust Dr Benson has acquainted you with your duties?’
Ruby jerked nervously at the sound of the strident voice. ‘Yes, Lady Caldworthy. I hope you will find me satisfactory.’
Twisting the top of her gilt-topped walking-stick, Lady Caldworthy reflected for a moment before answering. ‘That remains to be seen, young woman. Now, let me go over your duties so there will be no misunderstanding. You will be required to be at hand whenever I need you, day or night. For that purpose, I have arranged for the room adjoining this bedroom to be prepared for you.’ Ruby’s eyes followed the wavering hand in the direction of the dosed door over in the far left corner. ‘Furthermore, you will be required to attend to the running of the household. My staff are loyal and trustworthy and many of them have been with me for many years, but, like most servants, they tend to become lazy if the opportunity presents itself. I would expect you to keep an eye on them, make yourself known. It won’t make you very popular, but then I’m not paying you to make yourself agreeable. The last young woman I employed was totally inadequate – boring, futile, creature that she was, she nearly drove me mad with her inanity, as did her two predecessors! Of course, most ladies’ companions seek this type of employment only because they are fit for nothing better. It needs a certain type of woman to run a household smoothly: she must be able to keep the servants happy, to eliminate the everyday petty quarrels and grievances, while at the same time commanding respect. Servants expect to be given orders; it is the manner in which they are given that is important.’
Closing her eyes, she reflected on what William had told her about the girl who stood nervously before her. She had been fascinated by the story of a young girl bravely battling to adjust to the horror that had befallen her, and had silently applauded her decision to seek employment rather than live out her days always dependent upon others. Mabel Caldworthy had always had a great deal of respect for courage, and it was this reason, and a certain amount of curiosity, that had prompted her to offer the girl the chance to prove herself. But now she was suffering severe misgivings. Servants stayed with their employers for only one of two reasons: money, or loyalty. Since the monetary aspect was of no importance, the girl would be free to walk out of the house at any time knowing she had a secure and comfortable home to return to. Maybe she was sincere in her thinking, but words were cheap. Deeds were what mattered. Settling herself deeper into the armchair she thought about the course of action she should take, leaving Ruby to stare self-consciously around the large overcrowded bedroom cum drawing room.
It reminded her somewhat of the bedroom her parents had shared over the King’s Arms. It contained an enormous four-poster bed, the head of which was piled high with pillows. The heavy damask curtains that surrounded it were tied back and fastened with wide sashes to the bed-posts. Ruby took in the walnut dressing table covered with trinkets and velvet boxes, and the jewels scattered carelessly over its surface that were reflected brilliantly in the brass-framed bevelled mirror. Beside the dressing table stood a mahogany bureau, much the same as her dad had in the library, but this one was much older and not nearly as tidy as her dad kept his. The flap had been pulled down to reveal the pigeon-holes crammed with letters and documents, some of which had spilled over onto the wooden flap. Over to the right hand side of the room stood an oval table, the white chenille tablecloth that covered it beautifully embroidered with tiny coloured flowers. Arranged round the table were four sturdy chairs, their high backs covered with antimacassars to protect them from the sunlight that streamed into the room from the large bay window that seemed to take up most of the right-hand wall. A few feet away was an old horsehair sofa with two matching armchairs that had at one time been a deep green but were now faded with the years, leaving it at variance with the brightly patterned carpet that covered the whole of the floor. Her curiosity sated, Ruby turned to the old woman again, noting with annoyance and dismay that her heavy eyelids remained closed, and wondered if she should waken her: she might sleep for hours. Almost immediately she rejected the idea and, carefully shifting her position, leaned her weight on her right leg to relieve the pressure on her stump and propped her hand on the back of an armchair to steady herself. Then, taking a deep breath, she resigned herself for a long wait.
Mabel Caldworthy peered through half-closed lids, noting the slight movement before closing her eyes once more. Dear! Oh, dear, this wasn’t going to work. The girl had been standing only a short while, and already she seemed tired. Whatever had she been thinking of when she had allowed William to talk her into offering a time-consuming, responsible position to this inexperienced young girl? Even without her handicap, the work would prove too much for her, but with a peg-leg to contend with – well, the situation was impossible. The problem now was how to tell the girl her services would not after all be required. William would be furious, for it was obvious he was very fond of Ruby. Maybe she could force her into leaving of her own accord – but how?
A germ of an idea began to form in her mind, and opening her eyes slowly, she said sharply, ‘Well, girl, I dare say Dr Benson has painted you a rosy picture about a companion’s life. But as I’ve already explained, it’s not simply a question of reading a few books to an old lady in her dotage – which I am far from being yet, I may add. It’s hard work with very little time for yourself, so do you honestly think you are up to the work? If not, then speak up now. It will save us both a lot of time.’
Ruby stared into the bright gimlet eyes and fought to hold down the rising feeling of panic that was making her limbs weak. She hadn’t expected this catalogue of work. The duties described seemed more in keeping with a housekeeper’s than a companion’s, but maybe the two were combined. Dr Benson should have prepared her, but perhaps he hadn’t known. Well, she wasn’t about to give up before she’d even started, and so, wetting her lips nervously, she answered with a confidence she was far from feeling, ‘I’m sure, if you give me a chance, I will be able to be of service to you, ma’am.’
‘That’s as may be, girl,’ Lady Caldworthy snapped back, her gnarled fingers gripping her walking-cane tighter. It was obvious that the girl wasn’t going to be frightened off easily, so she would have to try othe
r tactics. She didn’t like having to resort to this measure, but it would be kinder in the long run. Clearing her throat noisily, she said, ‘I’m sorry to have to say this, but I’m a blunt woman. I speak my mind, always have done. I agreed to take you on because I felt sorry for you, but now you are here, I’m experiencing grave misgivings for my hasty decision. The plain truth of the matter is that you are severely handicapped, and with the best will in the world you would find it extremely difficult to cope with the day-to-day work routine of a normal person. Furthermore, I need someone to converse with on an intellectual level: not to read from books and newspapers in a parrot-like fashion, but to be able to understand what she’s reading and be prepared to discuss current events in an intelligent and articulate manner. Well, I’ve had my say. If you still wish to accept the post, I shall give you a month’s trial. I can’t say fairer than that, so, girl, what’s your answer to be?’
Ruby felt the blood rush to her face as she heard the disparaging tone of the old lady’s voice. She felt sick with disappointment and fear. How could anyone be so cruel as to offer employment and then to snatch it away again on a whim? For that’s what the old lady wanted. She’d deliberately spoken in the way she had in the hope that she, Ruby, would burst into a flood of tears and rush back home! Any other young girl in her position would have reacted in such a manner, but not Ruby Chadwick. Removing her hand from the back of the chair, she stood up straight and, looking down on the waiting Lady Caldworthy, she said coolly, ‘You were already aware of my condition when you agreed to employ me. That being the case, I see no reason why you should change your mind at this late stage.’ Ruby’s voice remained steady as she battled to control the anger she was feeling. ‘You have painted a dismal picture of a companion’s duties, but the prospect of hard work doesn’t alarm me; it never has. As for my intellect, I think you will find me reasonably intelligent. Fortunately I had an excellent surgeon who was able to remove my leg without tampering with my brain. You have said that you are prepared to give me a month’s trial, and I accept. There is one point that worries me, however, and that is you don’t appear to know my name. It’s “Ruby”, not “girl”, and I would appreciate being addressed as such in the future.’ She finished speaking, her breaths coming in small gasps as she realised what she had said, but she wasn’t sorry. No, her temperament wouldn’t allow her to be ridiculed without hitting back in some form. Now she stood stiffly, her gaze directed unwaveringly upon the old woman, awaiting the result of her outburst.
