by Anna King
‘I want to go home, Mum! Let’s go home, please,’ wailed Danny, clutching at her arm.
‘Me too, Mum! I wanter go home to Dad!’ Florrie echoed, her normally happy face beginning to crumple.
‘There now, you two, what’s all the rumpus?’ Lily cried, trying to ease the tension. ‘Don’t you want to see your nan?’
Ruby’s nerves were by now stretched to breaking-point. It would be so easy to take the children and leave, but if she did, she knew she’d never have the courage to come again. Grasping the children’s hands tightly, she said, ‘Will you tell them I’m here, Lily?’
Lily looked anxiously at her friend, and swallowed hard before answering, ‘Yes, of course.’ Then, bending down to the children, she added, ‘Do you want to take your coats off?’
‘No, leave them as they are, Lily. I don’t know how long we’ll be stopping.’
Lily, hearing the tremor in Ruby’s voice, turned to walk away, then stopped. Looking over her shoulder, she asked gently, ‘You’re sure you know what you’re doing, Ruby?’
The look of grim determination on Ruby’s face was answer enough.
Shaking her head, Lily walked over to the parlour and knocked on the door. She waited a moment before entering, and then, in a voice that was far from steady, announced, ‘Miss Ruby and the children, Mr Chadwick,’ then moved aside to let the unexpected visitors enter.
If the king himself had been announced, the effect could not have been more startling. Daisy stared at the trio as if not believing the evidence of her own eyes. Then, throwing an anxious look in Bernard’s direction, she laid down her embroidery and held out her arms. ‘Danny, Florrie, come to Nan,’ she cried to the children.
Their eyes darted to their nan and then to the stern-looking man who had risen from his chair and was now standing, his hands clasped behind his back, his face showing no emotion. Ruby pushed them gently, and, sidling carefully past the man they knew to be their grandfather, they made a concerted dash to the safety of their nan’s outstretched arms.
‘May I sit down, Father? Unless of course you would prefer us to leave.’
Ruby’s words were stilted, and Bernard’s heart jumped at her unfamiliar address. He saw a young woman clothed in black, with a mass of auburn hair piled high at the back of her head, and felt as if he were in the presence of a stranger. But when he saw the silent pleading in her eyes, suddenly the years were swept away. He tried to speak, and found he couldn’t utter a word. Bowing his head in confusion, he gestured to a nearby chair, and when she was seated, he still stood, unsure what to do next.
‘Come, children, let Nan have your coats,’ Daisy said, her voice assuming a cheerful note, but the pretence did not deceive either child.
‘Don’t want to take our coats off. We want to go home,’ Danny wailed.
His cry was suddenly cut off as Ruby said angrily, ‘That’s enough, both of you! Now give your nan your coats and behave yourselves.’
At the children’s crying, Bernard looked to where Daisy sat, a child on either side, their wide eyes showing their fear, and felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Completely at a loss, he walked back to his chair and, safely seated, he continued to stare at the children, his chest churning with emotion.
Nine years, nine long soul-destroying years he had been suffering the torment of the damned, and now she was back, and with her his grandchildren. How many nights had he lain awake praying for this moment? He knew he could have ended the feud at any time over those years, but he couldn’t swallow his pride so easily. Now the nightmare was over, and he silently vowed that nothing and no one would ever come between them again. He was painfully aware of the tension in the room and strained to say something, but he seemed to have been deprived of the power of speech.
It was Florrie who saved the day. Her voice trembling, she pointed over at him and asked Daisy, ‘Is that man my granddad, Nan?’
Daisy held her tighter, then answered shakily, ‘Yes, dear, that man is your granddad.’
Florrie’s tears miraculously vanished, to be replaced by a look of awe. Leaving the safety of her nan’s side, she walked over to Bernard, whose body was taut as he waited for the child to speak.
‘Hello, Granddad. My name’s Florrie. How do you do?’ she said gravely, her face now showing no sign of any fear.
Bernard stared hard at her as though trying to find some resemblance to himself. He saw the blue eyes and long shiny blonde hair that spilled out from under the straw hat, and caught his breath. How like Ruby she was at the same age! It was only the hair colouring that was different. As if in a dream, his hands came out and pulled her closer, and then she was sitting on his lap, her eyes staring trustingly up into his.
Ruby watched the small scenario and felt the tension drain from her. Thank God she had brought them today, for with the simplicity of a child, Florrie had unwittingly broken down the barricades. Even though Danny still clung to his grandmother’s side, it was a start. She could feel the tears pricking behind her eyes and her nose began to tingle alarmingly. She said hoarsely, ‘It’s good to be home, Fa— I mean Dad.’
Bernard looked across at her, his eyes suspiciously bright as he answered awkwardly, ‘It’s good to have you back, Ruby. I’ve m— missed you… very much, my dear.’
Daisy looked on delightedly, and reaching for the service bell, she shook it vigorously. The last chimes had hardly died away before Lily appeared, looking anxiously from one face to the other.
‘Ah, Lily, could you fetch some tea, please, and some cakes for the children, if Cook has made any today?’
‘Yes, Mrs Chadwick. Right away, Mrs Chadwick,’ Lily babbled happily, her face splitting into a huge grin before she hurried from the room.
When the door closed behind her, an uneasy silence settled on the room again until Ruby said nervously, ‘I’m sorry, Dad.’
Bernard’s head jerked as he heard the humility in his proud daughter’s voice. Pulling Florrie further up on his lap, he answered gruffly, ‘Sorry? You have nothing to reproach yourself for, Ruby. I have only myself to blame for the unnecessary suffering I’ve caused over the years. I— I never meant to hurt you…’ He broke off as Lily reappeared, and thankfully turned his attention to the matter of refreshments.
‘Thank you, Lily. Set the tray down, will you? We’ll help ourselves,’ Daisy said breathlessly, her voice unsteady as she rejoiced at this miracle. Gently disentangling Danny’s arms from her waist, she said softly, ‘Bernard, aren’t you going to say hello to your grandson?’
Bernard raised his eyes warily. He had avoided looking at the boy, but now he must take courage and face the Irishman’s son. He had taken to the girl child immediately, but the boy? Nobody knew that Bernard had ever seen Michael, but he had been there on the day they had married, hiding behind a broken wall like a common thief as he’d watched his beloved daughter come from the church, her face radiant as she looked up at her dark-haired husband. And now his son was in this room, a miniature replica of the man he had hated for nine years! He looked at the small sturdy boy, dressed in a navy and white sailor suit, regarding him fearfully from beneath his straw boater, and drew a deep breath. If he were going to make his peace with Ruby, he must rid himself of this unreasonable hatred he felt for her husband. He must remember also that the child was Ruby’s son, too. Let him think of the boy in that way: Danny was his daughter’s son. He extended his hand, saying, ‘Come, Danny. Come and stand by me.’
But the child turned and buried his face further into the folds of Daisy’s skirt, and he felt a stab of guilt run through his body. Shamefaced, he stared at Daisy, his eyes mirroring his silent pain. It was disturbingly obvious that the boy knew something about the situation that existed between the two families. He had probably heard his parents talking when he should have been elsewhere. Still, some children were naturally shy with strangers. Easing himself out of the chair, he set Florrie down and, ignoring her protests, walked over to Daisy. Squatting down on his haunches, he tentative
ly put a hand on the boy’s unyielding shoulder. When he didn’t pull away, he carefully moved it onto his plump arm, and turned the child round to face him.
After a long moment, Danny, his face still swollen from crying, said in a high voice, ‘My dad doesn’t like you.’
The words were like a slap in the face for Bernard, and he heard Ruby gasp in horror and sensed Daisy’s body stiffen in alarm. Bowing his head, he thought desperately, ‘I must go very carefully here; very carefully.’ Clearing his throat noisily, he said, ‘I’m sorry your father feels like that, but your mother likes me, and so does your grandmother. Do you think you could learn to like me too?’
Danny appraised Bernard for another heart-stopping moment, then, with a small lift of his chin, he replied shakily, ‘I suppose so.’ Extending his hand, he took hold of Bernard’s and began to pump it vigorously, as he’d been taught to do when meeting a strange gentleman. The feel of the tiny hand engulfed in his own caused the final pieces of ice to melt around Bernard’s heart, and with a loud laugh he lifted Danny under the armpits and threw him high in the air.
Florrie, seeing her brother receive so much attention, moved quickly away from her mother, and pulling at the bottom of Bernard’s jacket, cried out, ‘Me too! Me too!’
Ruby looked at the trio and felt her eyes begin to blur, but when her father attempted to lift Florrie, she cried, ‘Be careful, Dad! They’ll have you over in a minute.’
Still laughing, Bernard said ruefully, ‘You’re right, I’m not as young as I used to be.’ Then, looking from Danny to Florrie, he added, ‘How would you like it if we took our tea in the garden? I’m sure your mother and grandmother would like the chance to have a talk.’
‘Oh, yes, please, Grandad,’ Florrie squealed delightedly.
‘That’s settled, then,’ Bernard said as he rang the bell. Once again, Lily appeared in the room within seconds. ‘Ah, Lily, the children and I are going to take our tea in the garden. Would you carry the tray for us, please?’
Daisy and Ruby watched wordlessly as the three of them left the room. Lily quickly moved away from the door to let them pass, then she picked up the plate of cakes and the jug of lemonade, and with a quick bob in Daisy’s direction, hurried after the trio, the grin still wide on her face.
Left alone, the two women looked at each other, then as if at a given signal they both burst into tears. When the paroxysm finally abated, Ruby wiped her eyes, and hiccupping loudly said, ‘If I’d known it would be so easy, I would have come back years ago. It’s as though I’d never been away. He seems to have wiped from his mind all that’s happened, but I don’t mind. I’ve been dreading having to cover all the old ground and reopen old wounds, but if Dad would rather not talk about the past, that’s fine by me. Did you see how he took to the children?’ She beamed, her face blotchy from crying.
Daisy smiled happily. ‘He looks ten years younger! Oh, Ruby, I can’t tell you what this means to me… to both of us. I’ve been dreaming of this day for so long: to have my grandchildren around me in my own home. Oh dear…’ Her voice dropped, but quickly recovering herself she went on, ‘Dear me, this is one of the happiest days of my life, yet I can’t seem to stop crying! It’s the relief, I suppose. But tell me, did you have any trouble with Michael about coming here today?’
Ruby’s feeling of happiness vanished as she thought back to that morning and the repetition of an argument that had been going on for years. She sighed deeply. ‘He didn’t want me to come. We had words, and from what Danny said to Dad, he must have been listening in his bedroom. Oh, Mum, what am I going to do? It was bad enough before, because, as you know, Michael has never forgiven Dad for condemning him without a hearing. But now I’ve come back, how is he going to react when I come visiting, knowing that he is still barred from the house. Unless…’ She leaned forward, her eyes asking the question, but Daisy shook her head.
‘Give him time, Ruby. I know it’s unreasonable, this feeling of antagonism your father has against Michael, but be patient. Who knows but he may change his mind…’ Her words trailed off miserably as she saw the look of hopelessness on Ruby’s face. In an effort to change the painful subject, she pulled herself upright, and exclaimed, ‘I nearly forgot! With all the excitement of seeing you and the children, I didn’t ask you about the will. Would it be too nosy of me to ask how much Mabel left you?’
For a wild moment Ruby was tempted to tell her the truth, but just as quickly the feeling vanished. The fewer people who knew about the money, the better. Besides, it wasn’t hers, it was for the children, and once she’d been to see the bank manager and settled the matter, she intended to forget all about it. ‘Three hundred pounds.’ The words came out breathlessly, and when she saw the look of stunned surprise on Daisy’s face, she quickly averted her eyes. This was the first time she had ever lied to her mother, and an uncomfortable feeling of guilt settled heavily upon her.
‘Three hundred pounds?’ Daisy echoed, her eyes and mouth stretched wide in disbelief. ‘But that’s impossible! Mabel told me not long ago that she intended to see that you were provided for. There must be some mistake, dear.’
‘There’s been no mistake, Mum. Anyway, as I told Michael, £500 between the two of us is more than enough to give us a new start.’ The words came tumbling out in confusion.
Daisy, still staring at her daughter, noted the high colour that had sprung to her cheeks, and frowned. ‘Is there something you’re not telling me, Ruby?’
Ruby’s head snapped up, and with a supreme effort she returned her mother’s shrewd gaze. ‘Of course not!’ she replied indignantly, all the while thinking, ‘I’m not lying, not really. I don’t intend to use the money for myself. And if I tell her, then she’ll tell Dad, and he’ll insist on investing it for me, and I don’t want it invested; I just want a nest-egg for the children. Oh dear, how does that old saying from Shakespeare go? “Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive.”’ Forcing a smile to her stiff lips, she said firmly, ‘Let’s forget about the money, Mum. As I’ve already said, it’s enough to see us through until Michael gets himself another post, and I might try to get a job myself once Florrie starts school.’
‘But what would you do, dear? There’s not many places that would take you on with two young children, and you’re not trained for anything else.’
‘Look, forget about my problems for today, will you, Mum? I’ll think of something,’ Ruby said impatiently. ‘I might even start a small business of my own. I’ll have to wait until we’re settled and see how much money is left after buying a house.’
Daisy’s mouth dropped in alarm. ‘Start your own business? Oh, Ruby, you can’t be serious! Look, if you need help, your father would be only too…’
‘No.’ The word sounded like the crack of a whip, and Daisy flinched as though she’d been struck. Ruby saw the stricken look, and cried, ‘Oh, Mum, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to shout, but you must try to understand that I need to make my own way in life. Although I’m grateful for your offer, I couldn’t possibly accept. I’m quite capable of working, even with my handicap, but if ever I needed help I would come to you. My pride isn’t so great that I would let the children starve rather than admit defeat.’
Daisy surveyed her daughter, wondering why she was so surprised at what she’d said. She had always known that Ruby would never sit idle when she could be doing something productive, and although she still felt worried about her future, secretly she was proud of her daughter’s indomitable spirit. If only her husband possessed the same quality! And yet, despite knowing the kind of man Michael was, she couldn’t help liking him. He was always courteous to her, and often made her laugh out loud with his humorous stories about the ‘auld country’, as he referred to Ireland, even though he could only have been a boy when he’d left his native land. But beneath his cheerful countenance Daisy sensed a restless man, a man who wanted things from life that he was, and always would be, unable to achieve for himself. She had watched them together o
ver the years, and was as sure as she could be that he loved her daughter, and he idolised his children. Just seeing them together frolicking in the large garden of Mabel’s home had been proof enough of that. But the suspicion that he had married Ruby in the hope of being taken into the family and lining his pockets in some humdrum job alongside Bernard and George still remained firmly rooted in her mind. It was a fear she shared silently with Bernard, and while she might possibly give him the benefit of the doubt, she knew that Bernard would always be distrustful of his son-in-law, no matter what.
Hearing the children returning, she said quickly, ‘Will you bring them again, dear? Next week for tea, perhaps? Sunday would be best, as George will be at home and I know he’d love to see them. He’s out with some friends at the moment, but if I tell him you’re coming next week, I know he’ll make a point of being home.’
Ruby looked into her mother’s pleading eyes and fought down the panic that suddenly assailed her. She would have to be very careful how she told Michael. He was going to be put out, and when he was in one of his resentful moods, the tension in the small lodge was unbearable. It would be even worse now that there was no Mabel to go to for comfort.
She was about to answer, when her father walked into the room with Florrie tucked securely under his arm and Danny sitting astride his neck, both of them squealing with delight. He must have caught the tail-end of the conversation, and was waiting for an answer. When she saw the look of hope in his eyes, she bent her head and said, ‘Of course I will! Next Sunday, it is then?’
The look of joy on her parents’ faces was reward enough for the price she would have to pay when she returned home.
* * *
Michael watched as the three of them crossed the garden, heading for the lodge. It was obvious from the happy expressions on the children’s faces that the visit had gone well. Dropping the net curtain, he went into the bedroom to give himself time to compose himself before they came through the door. His mind was in a turmoil: half of him had been hoping that they would return within the hour, having found the door shut in their faces, but the other side of him – the side that still desperately wanted to belong to Ruby’s family, to be welcomed into the large villa in Brixton and to mingle with important men from the City – was overriding the deep resentment he felt towards the man who, to his mind, had treated him so shabbily.
