She shrugged. Most of the time she couldn’t even afford real meat, and made do with soy substitutes. Going without now wouldn’t be too much of a hardship. “That’s not a problem.”
His expression brightened. “Good. Then there’s a place within walking distance that promises the best eggplant parmesan this side of Naples.”
* * *
Having never eaten in Italy, Derek couldn’t really vouch for the authenticity of the food, but it was surprisingly good…especially when you considered it was in a cramped establishment on a side street in Triton’s dome city. There were only six tables, and five of them were occupied when he and Cassidy entered. The host, who also seemed to be the owner, smiled and led them to their seats, tapped a button, and left them to peruse the menu the table displayed on the wall next to them.
“They can’t have real wine out here, can they?” she asked, inspecting the bill of fare with some incredulity. “I mean, the rotgut in that one bar was one thing, but….”
He shrugged. “I’ve never heard of anyone being successful with growing wine grapes hydroponically, but maybe they import it. The prices would suggest that.” It was true, too; he didn’t pretend to be any kind of connoisseur, but he’d gone out to eat in enough establishments on Gaia and on the Moon as well that he knew the owner here was charging approximately five times what a similar bottle would cost on one of the inner planets. “So we don’t have to have any, if you think it’s too much.”
A flash of a grin, one that lit up her hazel eyes even in the dimly lit restaurant. “I’m feeling flush right now. And I think we’ve earned the right to a little celebration, don’t you?”
That was an understatement. The two of them should be dead, but by some miracle they weren’t. If Cassidy didn’t mind being severely gouged for that celebratory bottle of chianti, far be it from him to protest. “Yes, I do think we’ve earned that.”
The owner came back, and they asked for the wine, along with eggplant parmesan and vegetable lasagna. He seemed pleased with their choices…or maybe he was just thrilled someone had been a sucker enough to purchase that overpriced wine…and disappeared back into the kitchen.
“Who knew Triton would be so civilized?” Cassidy remarked, and Derek shook his head.
“Not I, that’s for certain. Everything I’d heard made it sound like the worst of Iradia and the Detroit slums rolled into one.”
“Have you been there?”
“Where? Iradia, or Detroit?”
“Either.”
“Neither,” he told her, realizing that he’d gone to the Moon and back multiple times, and back and forth from Normerica to the Asian continent, but he’d never gone farther east than the Colorado River. Had never really seen the point at the time — immersed in his studies at first, and then volunteering for GARP after he got his doctorate and realized he wanted to do something with it, rather than stay safely in Tucson, teaching bored undergraduates. “How about you?”
She made a face. “I told you — I’ve never even set foot on Gaia.”
The wine made its appearance in that moment, and she fell silent while the owner uncorked the bottle at the table, then poured a measure each for them. After promising a basket of bread, he went back to the kitchen, and Derek lifted a glass, which of course was plastic and not actually glass.
“Well, here’s to seeing new places, then,” he said.
Cassidy raised her glass as well, and they both drank. To his surprise, the wine was good, so it appeared to have survived its journey to Triton unscathed. She nodded, then told him, “I’ll drink to that. I’d just prefer those new places to be something exciting, like Nova Angeles or Paris.”
Her remark sobered him a bit. They’d needed some time to take their bearings, but at some point they would have to decide what to do next, where to go. Or at least, she needed to make that decision. He knew he had to do something to clear his name, to prove he was no murderer. That meant going back to Gaia, an idea he was sure would find no favor with her.
And she looked so beautiful, sitting across the table from him, her dark hair loose over her shoulders, the deep red of the tunic making her skin look like cream and her hazel eyes almost green, that he was loath to say anything that would disturb their current cozy tête-à-tête. “I’m sure either one of those places must be fascinating.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “But….”
“But nothing.”
She wasn’t buying it. Her fingers tightened around the stem of her wine glass, and she took a sip, but Derek could tell her thoughts were elsewhere. “But you don’t have any intention of seeing the galaxy.”
“Not at first,” he admitted. Avoiding the subject was one thing, but he wouldn’t lie to her.
“So what’s your plan?”
Your plan. Apparently she was back to you and me, not us. Really, what else could it be? They were practically strangers. She’d saved his life, and somehow he’d figure out a way to repay her, but he was a fool for thinking even for a second that there might be anything else between them but that.
“I need to go back to Gaia, get some real legal representation, get this thing cleared up so I can go on with my life.”
“Are you nuts?” This was delivered in a harsh whisper. Clearly she didn’t want anyone overhearing their conversation, although no one else seemed to be paying much attention to the two of them, or what they were saying. “If you go back, they’ll kill you.”
He’d been expecting that response. The owner came by with the basket of bread at exactly that moment, so Derek couldn’t do anything except smile his thanks, then wait for the man to go away. Cassidy was looking at him expectantly, so he knew he’d have to give her some kind of answer. “I guess that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Her eyes glittered with anger. “That’s some thanks for saving your ass.”
Oh, hell. “I didn’t mean it that way. You think I don’t know everything you’ve done for me? But I don’t want to live my life on the run, always looking over my shoulder.”
“It’s still better than being shot on sight.” Mouth tight, she took a piece of bread from the basket, broke off a tiny piece, and put it in her mouth without bothering to butter it. Not that the “butter” sitting on the dish in the middle of the table was actually the real thing.
He floundered for something to say. Confrontations had never been his forte, whether they were with his father or the few women he’d attempted to have relationships with over the years. “Maybe. But I guess I’m still enough of an idealist that I want to believe there’s some way to set this right. Bring the guilty parties to justice. And I can’t do that while hiding out in some far-flung section of the galaxy.”
“You think you can take on the entire Consortium?” She didn’t bother to hide the incredulity in her voice.
“No, of course not. But if I can meet up with the underground, utilize their resources — ”
“Because that worked out so well the first time,” she retorted. “In case you hadn’t noticed, your friends blew up my ship and nearly took us with it. So I don’t know who these ‘contacts’ of yours are, but you might want to reevaluate your relationship with them. I don’t think it’s working out.”
He couldn’t argue with her there. However, he was fairly certain that whoever had broken him out of MaxSec had been genuine, had wanted him to expose the scandal of what GARP was actually doing in Hunan Province. Somewhere along the way, there had been a leak, or the Consortium had managed to catch wind of the planned rendezvous near Europa. But just because that had all gone disastrously wrong, it didn’t mean there weren’t good people in the underground, people who would help him…if he could only get in touch with them.
“All right,” he said, settling back in his seat and picking up his glass of wine. “You think my plan’s crazy. So what’s yours?”
“Buy a ship,” she said promptly. “With what we have, we could get a decent used passenger vessel. Not a Sirocco, of course, but somethi
ng serviceable. And with that we could go anywhere we wanted.”
“And then do what?”
Her brow creased. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, let’s say we have a ship. And let’s say I agree that it’s nuts to try to fix things on Gaia. So we fly away and leave all this mess behind. What happens after that?”
Something in her expression hardened, although her tone was cool enough as she replied, “Whatever you want. You tell me where you want to go, and I’ll drop you off. I’ll even give you a little of what’s left on this voucher to get yourself started. Probably the first thing to do would be to buy a new identity.”
That wasn’t what he’d meant. Or rather, maybe it was, but he hadn’t intended for her to think that he’d want nothing more to do with her. Despite all the insanity that had surrounded them during their time together, he liked her, liked the way she thought on her feet and her hard-nosed way of looking at the galaxy. It was so refreshingly different from the women he’d known back on Gaia, all members of academia like him, all of them worried about their particular place on the professional totem pole, little birds scheming to knock someone else off their perch so they could move up another rung.
It would probably also have helped if she weren’t so damn beautiful.
He cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to give that impression, Cassidy. I only meant — ”
“Here we are!” broke in the owner, who approached their table, his hands laden with large white plates overflowing with food.
Despite his hunger earlier, Derek found he didn’t have much of an appetite. He managed a smile, though, while Cassidy did the same, saying,
“It all smells great.”
Luckily, the man didn’t seem to notice the tension between the couple seated at the table…or, being a professional, chose to ignore it. Either way, he departed, leaving them alone again.
Cassidy picked up her fork and cut herself a bite of her eggplant parmesan. From the expression on her face, it seemed she suddenly wasn’t all that hungry, either, but knew she needed to force something down.
“Look,” Derek said, lowering his voice. “I know we’re in…kind of a strange place.”
“Triton?” she replied, her tone all innocence.
He stabbed a forkful of his lasagna. “And here I was just thinking one of the reasons I liked you was because you didn’t play games.”
That seemed to get to her. She paused, her gaze fixed on her plate, fork pushing into the food but not actually retrieving any. “Okay. No games. I don’t know what to say, Derek. Part of me is thinking I shouldn’t care, but part of me does.” Another hesitation, and she added, “I mean, care about what happens to you. If you go back to Gaia, they’re going to chew you up and spit you out. Some people would probably call me crazy for trusting you, but I do. I think everything you’ve told me is true, and it sucks, but I can’t help thinking the galaxy would be a better place if you kept on breathing, even if you had to do it very far away from here and using a different name.”
“Thank you,” he said, and her eyebrows went up in surprise. “No, I mean it. Thank you for trusting me.” He sounded a little rattled, even to himself, and he reached for his wine and took a sip in an attempt to regain his composure. It had been so very long since anyone had believed anything he said, had thought of him as anything except a murderer. Well, he supposed the people who’d been trying to kill him knew the truth, but that was cold comfort.
“So…can’t you think it over for a bit? I’m not even sure how easy it’s going to be to find a ship, so we might not be doing anything for a few days.” Her eyes seemed to be pleading with him, and he gave a slow nod.
“I can do that,” he replied, and although he didn’t say the words aloud, for you echoed in his mind.
She seemed to pick up on that echo, because she nodded, then returned her attention to her meal.
In that moment, he wondered if he’d just made a promise he couldn’t possibly keep.
CHAPTER SEVEN
So just how close had she come to giving herself away?
Way too close.
Maybe it had been the wine, the mood of cozy intimacy in the restaurant. Her surroundings made it too easy for her to relax, to not guard every word she was saying. Whatever it was, she’d almost admitted that she cared more than she wanted to admit. She didn’t want him to go back to Gaia and get his damn fool ass killed. She wanted….
What did she want?
That was a question she’d stopped asking herself years ago. What did it matter what she wanted, when it was pretty clear she’d never actually get it? She hadn’t wanted to be raised on that freighter, basically teaching herself to read and write, because even before he got the Titan gig, her father was shuttling cargo all over the Gaian system, and there was no way she could go to a proper school. She hadn’t wanted to be stuck with the Avalon and the MaxSec contract after her father died, but it was the only thing she knew, and she didn’t know what else to do with herself.
And now her father was gone, and the Avalon was gone, and she really didn’t know what she should do. Maybe she was clinging to Derek, trying to keep him from going back to Gaia, because then she would be alone, truly alone, and the spurious security of his presence was better than nothing.
No, she didn’t want to believe that about herself. Hadn’t she made it these last three years all on her own? She didn’t need a man around, especially some crazy idealist like Derek Tagawa. The only reason she didn’t want him to go was that she didn’t want to think all of this — helping him get away from Titan, losing her ship — would end up meaning absolutely nothing in the end.
That sounded like a very good reason. Too bad it wasn’t even close to the truth.
Attraction she could deal with. She’d met men over the years she was attracted to, and either things happened, or they didn’t. With each of those men, though, she’d known there was no chance of a future, and most of the time it didn’t bother her that much. They were people to spend a day or a weekend or — in a few very rare cases — a few weeks with, nothing more.
But Derek was so very different from all of them, in ways she couldn’t begin to quantify. He was…decent. Thoughtful. Intelligent.
Way above your pay grade.
The remainder of their dinner had been conducted mainly in silence, with only a few comments on the food. He seemed to realize that she wanted to leave the subject alone, and, unlike most of the men she’d known, he’d respected her wishes, hadn’t attempted to poke or prod any further. And then they’d walked back to the hotel, gone up to the suite, and retired to their respective sleeping quarters after taking turns in the restroom.
But she couldn’t help thinking about how he was right there, just on the other side of the bathroom. Was he asleep already? Or was he as preoccupied as she was, lying awake when he should be getting his rest?
She rolled over once again, cursing her brain, which didn’t seem to want to leave her alone. Maybe it had been a mistake to try to sleep, since she’d only been up for about three hours since that marathon twelve-hour coma. But the wine had made her feel tired, and she knew the best thing she could do for herself was get back on something of a normal schedule.
Normal. There was a joke.
After punching the pillow to get it to lie flatter, she let out a breath, then drew in another. That was it. Deep, soothing breaths, the kind that would bring the oblivion she craved. Her body needed sleep, her brain even more so. Breathe…breathe….
Her handheld beeped into the silence. Cassidy froze, mentally scrambling to figure out who in the world could be calling her. Derek? No, that was silly. He didn’t even have her code, and besides, if he wanted to talk to her, he’d just come and knock on her door.
The beep came again. She knew it would automatically go to voicemail if she left it alone, but her curiosity got the better of her. Pushing back the covers, she climbed out of bed and picked up the device, then squinted at the screen.
No identifying image, no code. No nothing. Just five terrifying words.
We know where you are.
* * *
Derek had just drifted off into blessed blackness when he heard Cassidy’s harsh whisper.
“Derek. Derek.”
He sat up, blinking, and realized she stood in the open door of his bedroom, her figure vaguely outlined by the soft illumination of the one lamp he’d left on in the main sitting area. The second thought that struck him was that she wore only a sleep shirt, and her long, slim legs were visible from approximately mid-thigh down.
Somehow he managed to shift his attention away from those legs and up to her face. Now that his eyes were adjusting, he could see the strain in her features, how pale she was.
“What’s the matter?”
Wordlessly, she crossed the room to him and extended her handheld. He took it from her, then froze as he read the words glowing pale blue against the dark gray of the screen.
His heartbeat sped up, but he made sure his voice remained calm as he asked, “When did you get this?”
“Just now. I heard it beep and wondered who it might be, since not many people have my code.”
God damn it. He should have known this bit of breathing space couldn’t possibly last.
“When you say ‘not many people,’ how many is that actually?”
She went over to a chair placed up against the wall and sank down into it. “I don’t know — that is, of course it’s in the Corrections system database, since I had a contract with them, and because I’m a contractor, I assume that any other government agency would have access to that information as well. So that’s a pretty big pool to choose from. But other than that? Not many. The company that leases me hangar space on the Moon. The health clinic I go to. Things like that.”
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