by Zoe Dawson
“You’ve gotten yourself some backbone.” He leaned against the doorjamb. “You been talking to your mother? Maybe I need to have a conversation with her. My long-lost ex-wife and daughter. I miss them so.” His tone was flat and menacing.
I stiffened. He couldn’t possibly know about the burner phone I kept concealed. It had to be an empty threat.
“You fishing, Dad?” I made sure that my contact with them was always brief and secret. I refused to let my mom tell me where they were living. What I didn’t know was best for all of us. “I have had no contact with them.”
His brows rose and his chin jutted out. I could tell he was sizing me up, his kid, the one who had always done what he was told. “Oh, is that so? Maybe I need to make an effort to reach them, then. You know it might be time for a family reunion.”
“You do that, Dad,” I said. I had long ago accepted the fact that my family was fractured, my dad a controlling monster, and I was caught in between. Madison was of age, and no judge was going to do anything about it. “You make all the effort you want, but you’re not holding them over me anymore.”
I braced myself for his derision, but instead he said, “You’re going to throw your life away because you lost one sponsor. We can get another one. You’ll rise in rankings. You’ll see.”
His voice was actually cajoling in a way I had never heard. Right then and there I realized he no longer had any power over me.
I knew he’d been drinking. There was an open bottle of whiskey on the table with one glass. A fixture in this house. I eyed him warily, but I wasn’t going to back down.
“I don’t want another sponsor. I don’t want to surf. You don’t get it. I hate surfing.” I delivered this bomb with more emphasis.
“Goddamn it!” he screamed. His hands balled into fists. “You will do as I say!” he shouted and bobbed his fist as if he was cocking it.
Adrenaline shot through me. As he came toward me, I dropped the ice, and my hands flew up, fists clenched. For the first time in my life, fury completely replaced fear and left me with an eerie clarity as I stared him down. It was as though every smothered ember of rage reignited and exploded out of me.
“I have never been what you wanted. Don’t ever come at me again. I’m done, Dad. I mean it,” I said, my voice so guttural and unlike my own that it unsettled even me. “I’m leaving. Now.”
“You can’t do this on your own! You’ll see! You only have me to rely on!”
“I’ve never relied on you.”
“This isn’t over!” he yelled as I turned and went through the back door. “You’ll be back!” Out of the house that I had paid for with my winnings. Away from everything I’d known. “You’ll change your mind!” he screamed, following me. I got into my car and my stomach pinwheeled like I had been thrown up into the air with no anchor, not even gravity, to keep me in check. He hit the hood. “I’ll make sure of it.”
I ignored him and pulled out of the driveway, my tires squealing, my dad’s threats ringing in my ears. Could he make good on them? Would he go after my mom and sister? What could he do to them? How could I keep them safe and not lose even more of myself?
I had no job, no home, no comfort. Nowhere to go. No prospects and no effing clue.
Didn’t matter.
I drove to the closest skate park. So many emotions were whirling around inside me; I had to find a way to get them out, or they would consume me, destroy me.
I grabbed my board and hammered the concrete, skating for hours. That was my domain, the place where I felt safe, the place where I ruled. Then I hit the streets and came to a plaza. I rolled toward the edge of a fifteen-step staircase flanked by a waist-high angled concrete ledge. A few feet from the threshold, I snapped the tail of my board onto the cement and in one fluid movement ollied three feet into the air, the board seemingly glued to my feet. Floating almost halfway down the ledge, I landed solid, my forward momentum ballistic, the two trucks of my board screeching as I ground down the edge to the bottom. Until my wheels slipped out and I catapulted off my board onto the pavement.
My body landed with a jarring that rattled my teeth, but it felt good in a twisted sort of way. Shaking off the effects of the fall, I picked myself up and climbed the stairs to try again. The pain was part of this process. My mind was telling me, Do that again, but do it better.
I went airborne and ground off the end of the ledge onto the sidewalk, and I rode away coolly.
As I pumped back to my car, my cell rang, muffled, but jolting all the same. I didn’t pull it out or pick it up. I expected that it was my dad, and I didn’t want to talk to him ever again.
Hours later, I was just driving aimlessly. The beach stretched the whole of the California coast, and anywhere you stopped on the Pacific Coast Highway, there was an ocean view.
I pulled over to the shoulder and stepped out, smelled the salt of the ocean. It brought back memories of floating in those waves, cold and alone. I tightened the grip on my second phone, the burner phone, and pressed the only number stored in it.
“Gunner.”
“Mom.”
“I’ve been so worried about you. You haven’t called in so long.”
“It’s been dicey with Dad, so I didn’t want to upset you.”
“Damn him,” she said, her voice teary.
I took a deep breath. “I left for good, lost my sponsor and agent today, and blew off the competition. Quit surfing. Dad was pissed.”
“Oh, Gunner. I’m so glad. Come here to me. We’ll figure things out.” There was happiness, relief, and conviction in her voice, and a touch of fear.
“I can’t do that. He isn’t ready to let go. He’ll find me and then he’ll find you. No, not happening. Nothing’s changed, Mom. And, it’s worse now.” I shook my head. “I don’t know how he’s going to react. He might be even more motivated to find you and do something terrible. I’ve got to cut all ties. There can be no more conversation between us.” I didn’t want to be tempted to see them. It could only lead to trouble.
“Gunner, no! Don’t,” she pleaded, and it hurt more than I would ever admit to her or anyone. “It’s time for us to be together. No one can injure us again.” Her voice grew quieter. “Your sister is graduating from college.”
“When?” I couldn’t help it. I had to ask. She told me the date, and it was only a month away. My cell vibrated in my back pocket. I pulled it out. It was my dad. Any hope I harbored in thinking that I could really, truly be free of him dissipated.
“She would love for you to be there. You have suffered enough, sacrificed enough. Come home, Gunner. I’ll give you the address.”
My baby sister graduating, my mom happy. I wasn’t going to jeopardize any of that. I couldn’t take any chances with them. “No,” I said quickly. “I’ll be okay, Mom. There’s no way I’m giving him any chance of finding you. He’s unpredictable. I just wanted you to know that he made threats against you and Maddy.”
“Oh God. I should never have left you. I should never—”
Then why did you? I wanted to yell. But I knew the answer to that. She had no choice. Not really. Still, deep down inside, I wanted her to fight for me. “I’ve got to go. I love you, Mom. Tell Maddy I love her too, and congratulations on her success. I’m proud of her.”
“Please, Gunner, don’t do this,” she begged, and the memory flooded back to me.
I was ready when my mom woke me up. Prepared for what I was going to do.
“Gunner, quickly, sweetheart.”
I had already dressed. I threw back the covers.
She was going to take us away. I didn’t know the particulars, but my mom had been desperate when all of a sudden he’d changed the locks, thrown her out, and divorced her. The only thing I knew was she’d been trying to get us away from my dad. I wanted that so much.
I followed her orders, and we were soon on the porch. She took my sister’s hand, and they started toward the car. It wasn’t until she was halfway down the walk that she realized I
wasn’t with them.
“Gunner,” she whispered. “Come on.”
I shook my head.
A terrible look settled over her face. She came back, walking briskly, and held out her hand. “What are you doing? Come with me. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”
Sadly, she couldn’t keep us all safe. But I could keep them safe. All I had to do was lose them completely. My dad wasn’t going to let me go. I knew it in my bones. “You go. Take Maddy. Dad will never stop looking for us if I go. It’ll be just like last time.”
“Gunner, don’t argue with me.” She was scared. She tried not to show it, but she was. Maddy was terrified. I was sick of seeing that fear in her eyes.
“I’m fourteen, Mom. I’m bigger now, and I’m telling you to disappear.” I put up a good front, but I was trembling inside. “I don’t want you hurt anymore.”
Tears streamed down her face. “How can I leave you with him?”
“You can, Mom. It’s all right. I know you love me.” My voice broke, but I cleared it and said, “I don’t doubt it for one minute.” I was her son, and she loved me. I loved her and Maddy. Staying with him was the mature thing to do. Saving them was the only thing that would save me.
“He’ll be better if it’s just the two of us.” He said that constantly, like I was the only thing he cared about in the world. But I knew my words held no conviction because my dad was a monster.
She stepped forward, and I stepped back. My throat was thick and I was about to lose it, but I had to protect them because there was no one else.
“I won’t hate you, Mom.” My words came out strained and gruff. “I promise I won’t. No matter what.”
“Please, Gunner. Don’t do this.”
“Please, Gunner. Don’t do this,” she said again, openly crying, and it tore me up.
I pulled the phone away from my ear even as she pleaded with me, but it was for the best. To keep her safe as I had been doing since I made the unspoken pact with my dad. Me for them. Now that it was broken, there was no way for me to hold him at bay. I dropped the phone and brought my foot up. Gathering all the power I could muster, I smashed the only lifeline I had under my heel.
The moisture on my face I chalked up to mist from the ocean. My cell started ringing again, and I tossed it into my bag.
Fuck you, Dad!
Old fears died hard. Legitimate old fears didn’t die at all, hard or otherwise.
—
The babe standing on the edge of the deck watching me for the last half an hour was no ramp tramp. She wasn’t a skater either. She had no board. Could she be a beach bunny? That seemed far-fetched and I’d never seen her before. I’d remember her.
She had unforgettable long auburn hair that caught the light every time she moved, every time she breathed.
Yeah, I was watching her, too.
She was wearing a navy skirt that hugged her hips sexy tight and should have come with a warning label. Her legs were bare all the way down to the black patent-leather heels that probably had a brand name on the sole. The belt that cinched the waist of her gray sweater, layered over a white shirt open at her throat, matched her shoes. She held a briefcase in one hand and a prissy little purse was hanging off her wrist. I was sure that ridiculous purse had a name attached to it, too. She had on sunglasses so I couldn’t see her eyes, but the glimpse of that face was worth a broken neck.
She wasn’t that big, that tall, but she radiated power. She was five feet five inches of pure, unadulterated heartbreaker. I liked the distraction even though I had never allowed girls into my life. Sure, I had plenty of sex. Surfers didn’t have a hard time finding groupies, and that had worked just fine until now.
She had a go-ahead-and-try-to-kiss-me mouth.
She pushed my buttons.
All of them.
All at once.
That sweet eye candy was giving me whiplash. She looked like she was more trouble than she was worth, not to mention out of my league. A sweaty skater’s deck was no place for this beauty with her tight skirt and no-nonsense stance.
I executed a transition from the flat ground into the curved part of the bowl at top speed, intending to do a complicated trick at vert, the height of the curve. I knew what I was doing, and it wasn’t like me, but for some reason, the way she watched me made me want to make it all about the show-off. I flipped up on my board, held it with one hand, and set my other hand on the vert and held it. Then I flipped back down on one set of wheels, nosing the coping, a thin rail of steel at the height of the vert, before I flipped off and skated down the transition back to the bowl. Then, just for good measure and because she was now smiling at me with that sassy mouth, I did a few spins, dancer-style, just to show her my grace.
I knew what girls thought about athletes. I’d been doing this since I was old enough to step on a board. Women liked the way a guy looked when he was performing, the movement and the athleticism it took to manipulate a surfboard or the eight inches underneath my kicks. I was not beneath using that to get me something that sweet. She’d be a great distraction, and I needed that right now. I got hard just looking at her.
With a push off from my right foot, I skated up the ramp to where she was standing and circled her.
“I got other tricks I can show you, babe.” I smirked.
She pulled down those pricey sunglasses, and the intense green of her eyes hit me like a physical blow over the frame. I was instantly calculating how far away the nearest hotel was. One corner of that sexy mouth hiked up. “I bet you do, but I’m not interested in tricks as much as I’m interested in the skill in performing them.”
My heart stalled. She had one of those damned sexy, sultry voices. I laughed. Charmed. I like a girl with ’tude. “Oh, dangerous curves ahead,” I said, crowding her.
She tilted her head, and an auburn tendril of hair cascaded and slid down the side of her neck to curl in the hollow above her collarbone. The way it tickled that creamy V was tantalizing.
This was the kind of woman in which a man got entwined. Twisted the fuck up. I’d avoided this kind of woman all my life, and if I had any sense, I would have moved in the other direction. But, just looking at her, I could tell it would hurt so good.
“Yep. So you might want to slow down, Mr. Smith.”
I stepped even closer to her, more turned on now. “Nah, I like speed. It’s a rush, and I know how to handle dangerous curves.”
“I have no doubt,” she said. “It’s exactly what I’m looking for.”
I wanted to get lost in all this hotness. Forget about everything while I played with her for the rest of the day. “Why don’t we go somewhere more private?”
Her nipples went hard, so I knew I was having an effect, but she was playing her sexy cards close to those beautiful breasts. I wondered if her nipples would be raspberry dark or a dusky pink. She pulled off her sunglasses, folding them and tucking them unhurriedly into her classy purse like she had all the time in the world. She then slanted her head to look up at me. Without the glasses, I got the full force of her face. Fuck me. She had one of those little, freaking pixie faces that were designed to bust a guy down.
Plus, I was a sucker for a green-eyed redhead.
She chuckled, and the challenge turned me on even more. Damn.
“Exactly what I had in mind,” she said. “But, I think we’re not exactly on the same page.”
“You weren’t looking for me?” I made a sad, puppy-dog face. “Too bad.”
“No, you’re exactly who I came for, Mr. Smith.”
“Sounds like a James Bond line and you’re hot enough to be a Bond babe, so what gives?” I looked at her warily and flipped up my board, catching it by the nose.
“I’m Helena Mavrick—”
Mavrick! I knew that name. Mavrick Allstars. Everyone in sports had heard it. My heart stalled again but for entirely different reasons. Mavrick wasn’t just big. It was mega-huge. The pinnacle of sports representation. I was immediately confused about why she was here
…for me. I huffed a laugh. “You must have gotten me mixed up with someone else.”
“No,” she said, the tip of her enticing tongue sliding along the pink of her lips. “I’m in the right place with the right person. It’s you I’ve come to speak with.”
Here I was prowling for a good time with this babe, and she just spun my world around like a globe on jet fuel. My dick still hurt, but it didn’t look like this was a pleasure visit.
“How did you find me?” I asked. I had just lost both my sponsor and my agent yesterday, and here she was tracking me down.
“An unpleasant man at your house threw me off the porch, but your neighbor said you often skate here. I’ve been waiting for you to show up.”
“That would be my pissed-off dad,” I said. “He’s not happy with me right now.”
“Why is that?”
I turned away and started for my car. It didn’t matter to me if Mavrick Allstars was interested in me. I wasn’t surfing competitively anymore. Nothing could make me want to, not even this hot babe.
“You’re a day late.” My harsh voice cut into the suddenly tense silence. I had been humping for recognition in surfing since I was ten and now the big guns showed up the day after I quit? That was a bitter-irony pill to swallow. The recognition I had been searching for had been empty for a long time. I just wanted to prove myself to my dad. Now, it was all about me and what I wanted.
“I would like to sit down and talk to you about this in a more private place. There’s a coffee shop not far from here.”
I turned around, and she was so close to me, she rammed right into my chest, plastered up against me with those tantalizing globes shoving up over the top. Her hips mashed to mine, her other V right against my junk. I caught her, dropping my board as she wobbled. I didn’t want to be an asshole to this beauty, especially because what I wanted to do involved getting much closer to her, but irrational anger surfaced anyway. I was going to be at the top of her shit list for sure.
