by Zoe Dawson
“Yes, like learning multiplication.” I cleared my thick throat, setting the plate in front of her. “There are even special parts of your brain that help, too. Neurons.”
“What are newrons?”
“Neurons are cells. Pieces of your brain hooked together just like your skin. Only these special cells are mirror neurons.”
Kim gave me a dubious look as she reached for a thickly smeared cracker. “What do they do?”
“They’re responsible for some of the coolest functions. Whenever you watch someone doing something, you imagine yourself doing it, too. You learn to copy.”
“So watching you ollie sets my monkey-see, monkey-do cells to copy you?”
I laughed out loud. “Yeah, your monkey-see, monkey-do cells.” That was so like something Maddy would say, but Kim wasn’t Maddy, and our childhood was long gone. “That’s awesome, Kim.”
She grinned and laughed, biting into another peanut butter cracker. “You’re the best, Gunner.”
I ruffled her hair and said, “Nah, you are.”
And I ached to reconnect with my little sister. To hug her and talk to her. To see her all grown up from a gap-toothed little hellion to a grown woman. And to feel my mom’s arms around me again. It was the strongest memory, the memory that got me through the most terrible times, her arms holding me close, giving me comfort and making the world seem just that much safer than it was. It hurt to think how much of her life I’d missed, how much I missed them both.
Sacrifice on my part was necessary to protect them from my father’s wrath. Now I questioned if it had been worth it. If I had relied on my mom, would everything be different now? Fear was a natural reaction to the unknown. I feared not knowing what would happen and fear based on what had happened in the past. Did I have the courage to take what I wanted? A life that was my own.
—
Max’s barbecue was in full swing, but my mind wasn’t on the food or the crowd or the fact that it looked like Lena’s dad and Max’s skateboard artist, Keke, were now an item. They arrived together and the way he looked at her and touched her, it was the real deal.
Nope, my mind was on one scintillating redhead. I was coming off a high with another win in Los Angeles. And a low, because it had caused an even nastier disruption from my dad. He had actually shoved his way into the skater area, and I was worried I was going to get disqualified for disrupting the LSJ competition, but luckily, the security guards hauled him away again in another embarrassing moment, causing even more anger to pool. But for Lena’s sake, her eyes bolstering me again, I shoved it away and continued with the competition.
I couldn’t keep my hands off Lena. But everything was still under wraps, which I had to admit to myself was starting to chafe. I wanted to take her out on dates, show the world that we were together.
I wanted to be free with her as much as I wanted my own freedom.
Hiding our relationship felt too much like all the hiding I had done before I had broken away from my father. I wanted her to manage me, and I wanted to continue to see her.
But getting in deeper with her also only upped my need to make sure she would remain safe. It was exactly the way I felt about Maddy and my mother, if not more so, since Lena was front and center right now. She had been the catalyst for change and because of that had set herself right into my dad’s sights.
We had shown up late for this party because when she got to my house, and I saw her standing at my front door looking all summer-breezy cool with a short, flirty skirt and an off-the-shoulder, stretchy patterned top, passion drove everything from my mind. Her skin had looked amazing, so I had dragged her inside and pushed her up against the foyer wall. She slid her arms around my neck, giving in to the need pulsating through me. Lost and in deep, I bulldozed right over her we-have-to-get-going-or-we’ll-be-late talk.
Mostly because my hand went between her thighs and instead of talking, she was too busy gasping.
I felt primal and possessive and ravenous, burning up from the inside out, unable to get enough of this woman who affected me not only sexually, but on some more significant level I’d yet to fully define.
She came fast and hard, and we stripped just as fast. I rolled on a condom and then pressed her against the wall and thrust into her. She moaned and panted against my lips, her thighs locked along the back of mine as her hips rocked and gyrated against my cock. She shuddered, and I wrenched my mouth from hers. “Come again for me, babe,” I said, my voice as low and strained as my control.
Her hands slid down my chest, and she tossed her head back with a soft, dissolving kind of moan. Her body arched into me one last time before she went over.
Clenching my teeth, I lost it, coming so hard I thought my knees were going to buckle.
—
I would rather have been in bed with her for round two, but we couldn’t ditch Max’s party. Lena glanced over at me and almost turned away, but her glance swung immediately back to mine. Right now, my body was throbbing just thinking about what we had done. A sigh escaped her lips, and the languid, come-get-me green of her eyes looked incredibly sexy. I wanted her again, and I rose from the couch and headed in her direction. Surely there was an enclosed space around here we could use for a quickie.
Then her father snagged her arm, and he turned her away from me. He said something and she nodded. He looked intense, and the conversation seemed important. I couldn’t help but feel paranoid it might be about me.
Still semi-hard, and now curious what they were talking about, I gave Lena another long, lingering look. I loved making love to her. It was always so raw and mind-bending. I also loved the way she dug her nails or used her teeth on me when I did something just a little rough. It was such a turn-on.
“Hey, Gunner,” Az said from the doorway, a basketball in his hands, Max and Star right behind him. “Horse?”
With a sad sigh and a nod, I followed them around the house to the basketball hoop. Then I proceeded to use my pent-up sexual frustration to beat their asses.
Afterward, Star and Az went inside and got us some lemonade. As they challenged each other to another game, Max passed, and I went and sat in the grass with him.
He sipped his drink and smiled. “You have exceeded my expectations. I’ve seen an uptick in my business since you made such a splash. I want you to take a look at the designs Keke and Star have come up with for you and pick the one you like. I’ll make that a limited-edition board. You can sign it, and they’ll go like hotcakes when you win the championship.”
“I haven’t won yet. I still have the Sydney stop.”
“You are an exciting and consistent skater. I don’t want to pressure you, but I think you’ll win. All I’ve seen from you are eights and nines. I knew you had potential, and now I can see that all the years you’ve been skating, you’ve mastered it superbly. You have such a powerful, natural way of skating. I’m proud of you, Gunner.”
His words moved me, fed an aching hunger inside me, my heart lurching at his praise. Not once had I heard anything like it from my father. Not that I wanted my ego constantly stroked, but it would have been nice to hear that once in a while, when I did something right. “That means a lot to me, Max.”
There was silence between us. I had thought about Max’s son often since Lena had told me the story, and how Max overcame what had to be a terrible grief to remain this great, upbeat guy. Meanwhile, my father’s disappointment and resentment had forced him to the bottle and turned him into a man I didn’t recognize. I didn’t want to end up like that.
“I’m sorry about your wife…and your son.”
His face tightened, then relaxed, and he nodded. “It was four years ago. I’ve made peace with my grief and their loss, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and his mom. God rest their souls.”
I looked away and sipped the lemonade. “How did you…”
“Get over it?”
“Yeah. I struggle with my past all the time. It’s hard.”
/>
He reached out and clasped my shoulder. “Your situation is different, of course, but I can tell you’ve had loss in your life. It’s just something I recognize in the people I meet. A sixth sense since I lost my family. The only advice I can give you is always find your inner strength. It’s there. You have to draw on that courage and work through it as best you can.”
This was about overcoming my tendency to give in to the fear. I had to rise above that, or I would never get past this.
“Max, would you…would you autograph my skateboard?”
“What’s going on here?” My father’s voice intruded. “Your son is dead, so you’re trying to steal mine?”
My head jerked up, and I saw my dad, unsteady on his feet and standing only a few feet away.
The look on Max’s face made me mad as hell. My dad was such a callous bastard. There was no need to say such a mean-spirited thing in front of a good and decent guy. This was all about hurting me. God, I was sick of this! “Jeezus! Dad! Aren’t you ever going to give it a rest? I’m sorry, Max.”
Max had already jumped to his feet. “This isn’t about you, Gunner. I suspect your father hasn’t considered your feelings in this ever.” He gave my father a cold glance.
“Shut your trap,” my dad shouted, and people started to look out the window, some coming out onto the lawn. “You know nothing about us. You just try to take him over with your namby-pamby, touchy-feely crap.”
I went to grab my dad’s arm, but he reeled away, his flailing arm smacking me hard in the face. There was a collective gasp, and I shook off the blow and managed to get ahold of his arm. “Stop this! Stop it now!” I dragged him none too gently to my car. “Get in!”
He looked at me with bleary eyes and, for the first time, shock. “Get in, Dad. Now!”
“I can—”
“Are you shitting me? You can barely stand. You’re not driving.” He went to pull out his keys and staggered when I snatched them out of his hands. He lunged at me, and I wrestled him back. “You’re not getting them. Now get in the damn car.”
I opened the door and shoved him inside, slamming it closed before he could say anything else.
Lena and her father came down to the curb. “Gunner, this has to stop. I was just talking to my dad. He wants to get our lawyers involved. Get a restraining order for the harassment.”
I shook my head. “No, not yet. I’ll talk to him. I promise, Mr. Mavrick. I’ll get him to stop.”
“Gunner, this is a tough situation. I understand that, but this is about your reputation and standing in the media. Helena, Max, and I are completely behind you. I want you to know that.”
“I appreciate that, sir. I do. Thank you.” I wanted to touch Lena so badly, but I couldn’t and I hated it. “Can you get a ride from your dad?”
She nodded, and I could see she wanted to hug me. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay,” I said and got into the car with my dad. He was asleep and snoring, his mouth open and his jaw slack. I drove home, helped him into the house, and got him to one of the guest bedrooms. I managed to get his shoes and socks off, but he started to fight me when I tried to get his pants off. After that, I let him roll up in the quilt and go back to sleep.
I had a brief conversation with Lena early in the evening, and then I sat in his room all night and thought about his influence on me. Thought about how I had given up everything I wanted and loved to placate him.
In the morning, when he woke up, I was still in the chair. He looked around, his bloodshot eyes falling on me.
“Where am I?” he croaked.
“My house. You made another scene last night, and I’m telling you, that is the last one. I am not going to tolerate this anymore.”
“Look who grew some,” he sneered.
I didn’t react. “I’ve always had them. I chose not to use them. But now I’m stone-cold serious. You’ve stolen a lot from me because you wanted to live through me. You’re not going to take anything else. Forget about me surfing again. Forget about making scenes and insulting people. I’m not going to back down or agree. That Gunner’s gone and there’s a new person here. I’ve found something I love, people I care about. Dad, you have to move on.”
“Oh yeah? What if I don’t care what you have to say? What if I don’t want to give up what I’ve spent so many years hoping for? You’re not the only one here who had dreams.”
“I get that. I hear what you’re saying. But your dream is not my dream. It never was, and I had to sacrifice for it. Just…leave me alone. Let me follow my own interests. This is my life, not yours. So promise me you’ll stop.”
“What are you going to do about it if I don’t?”
“I’m going to take Mr. Mavrick up on his offer to get a restraining order against you, Dad. If you continue to harass me, you give me no choice. This is my life, and I’m going to live it the way I choose. I can’t be more crystal clear. Do not bother me or anyone close to me ever again.”
He studied me, and his face went just a bit whiter. “You mean this.”
“I couldn’t be more serious. Get dressed. I’ll call you a cab.”
“Gunner. Please, don’t do this.” His face contorted and he grabbed at my arm, but I shook him off. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to succeed. I was just trying to be a good father.”
I gritted my teeth. “Well, you failed. Miserably, Dad. Now get dressed.”
I walked out of the room and for the first time in my life, I pushed the fear back and took control of my life without it crowding me. I did it without violence, remaining calm and controlled.
Chapter 14
Helena
The ocean stretched out in front of us like a gorgeous shining sapphire. My ponytail whipped around me like the flags flying on the 147-foot catamaran that looked like a cruise ship on speed. The water below the hull crashed against the white fiberglass in whipped-cream foam.
I stood at the bow with Gunner, his naked chest against my practically bare back. His hands were on either side of me, boxing me in. It was cozy and intimate, and I never wanted to move.
We were still in Australia, just off the coast of Port Douglas, a coastal town in Queensland. We’d flown from Sydney, where Gunner had competed in Stop Two of the Nitor SB World Tour, beating out the competition to roaring crowds. I’d already gotten several offers for sponsorship and was in the process of fielding more calls. We’d decided to go to Cairns and then drive to this area for a mini-vacation. It was home to some of the best Great Barrier Reef snorkeling.
“I’ve been to Australia so many times,” Gunner said. “But I never got to see any of the country. I’m glad that the first time I’m going to see it is with you.”
“Do you think he’s given up trying to get you to go back to surfing? I was relieved he didn’t show up in Sydney. But I’m still skeptical, Gunner. I’m not sure we have heard the last from him.”
“I am, too. But I hope we have. I don’t want to have to follow through on my threat.”
“Mostly because you want to get on with your life and put the past in the past. Even after all he’s put you through. I love your optimism.”
“Whatever he did, he also helped temper me into a competitive athlete.”
“You’re downplaying his abuse, Gunner, but I understand. He’s still your dad.”
He buried his head into the curve of my neck, his warm breath against my skin. “You just get me. I hardly ever have to explain it to you.”
“I get that you want to move on, and I think that’s so strong and brave of you. And—can I gush for a second?”
“Sure, if you have to,” he said with a soft chuckle.
“You were amazing. That 360 triple flip down the stairs on the Impact section was incredible. You brought people to their feet. I was as blown away as they were. I’ve never seen a ten before in competition.”
“It felt right to do it. It was spur of the moment. Go big or go home, right?”
“When we get back,
we can go over all the offers you’ve gotten, and we’ll see which ones you like the best.”
“We can talk about business…later.” His voice grew husky.
“But it puts you into the final in New York. Madison Square Garden.” Gunner’s win solidified his slot as one of eight who would compete for the one-million-dollar prize. And it would most likely lock him in with Nitor. Charlie Powell was a close runner-up; he had performed almost as well, but fell short of Gunner’s scores by almost five points. A representative had contacted me a couple of times to feel us out, but so far no firm offer. A win in New York would bring it all to culmination.
Maybe then I could think about how to work it out so Gunner and I could see each other without having to sneak around. “What do you think about that?”
He breathed deep and said, “I think that’s pretty freaking awesome. You’ve been absolutely true to your word. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”
“You had a little to do with it, too.”
He turned me around, his rich brown eyes shining. “No more business, Lena.”
“All right. This ocean view is stunning.”
“I think what I’m holding right now is much more stunning.”
“Oh, I have to disagree.” He was the stunning one. Heat and tenderness filled Gunner’s eyes, and he dropped his head and I couldn’t think clearly. We really shouldn’t have engaged in this kind of PDA out here in public. I went up on tiptoes—I was so much shorter than him without my heels—and met him halfway. He dragged me hard against him and kissed me sweetly.
He snuggled against me, and I couldn’t help but think that he was not only the sexiest man alive, but that this was the best relationship I’d ever had with a guy. But we still had a serious problem when it came to Mavrick’s rules, my position in the company in breaking those rules, the reaction of my dad when he found out, and the huge possibility of unwanted public exposure. Stubbornly, I didn’t want to give up Gunner as a client. We were a team, and I promised him I would be with him all the way. He’d lost so much, had so little support, that I didn’t want to jerk the rug out from under him now. So I just pushed it to the back of my mind for our wonderful day at the very edge of Australia’s continental shelf and the underwater world that was a kaleidoscope of color and brilliance. We’d soon be back in San Diego, and when we were there, I’d figure out how to face our situation head-on.
