Jasmine made the sign of zippered lips. “Unknown artist, don’t even know how it got on the wall” she whispered.
“Okay. GAG it is.” Kit said back to her with a look of apprehension.
“Yay!” Jasmine jumped up and down. “I’ll go get the hammer” she added running towards the back room.
Letting out a long breath, Kit looked at her painting. She hoped she was doing the right thing and that Yoda, er Jasmine was guiding her in the right direction. All she knew was, she’d been happy painting this picture, and was happy with how it turned out. And, she supposed, if Jasmine liked it enough to hang it on her wall, then she was happy to let her friend do just that.
“Got the hammer; and some nails” Jasmine said triumphantly, heading towards the wall where she obviously intended to display it. “Of course, Vanilla Ice will have to come down” she said sadly. “But we can find somewhere else to put you cutie” she added placing a kiss on her fingers and touching it to the poster on the wall.
That’s comforting, Kit thought, swallowing hard the lump in her throat. Here she was, trusting the artistic opinion of a person who had Vanilla Ice circa 1991 gracing her wall in the way of art. What had she done?
CHAPTER 10 - A taste of your own medicine
“Happy Birthday Mr. Calder” Kit said, hugging the Birthday boy tightly. Jonas Calder had been a steadying fatherly influence over Kit during her teenage years, and she would be forever grateful to him and his wife for bringing a sense of normalcy into her crazy world. Her father had pretty much left the scene by the time Kit was a toddler, so she really had no-one she could relate to when it came to having a Dad.
“It’s so good to see you Kit. Have you seen Mary yet? She’s probably in the kitchen, if you want to check”
“Okay” Kit replied kissing her surrogate father on the cheek, “I’ll see you later.”
By becoming Barnaby’s friend at age ten, she’d also become the Calder’s adopted daughter in the process. Barnaby had been more than happy to share his parents with her; it meant that she was a constant visitor to the house, and therefore he got to spend even more time with her.
Where was Barnaby? Kit thought, as she walked around the home and greeted the few people who remembered her. He’d come to Brandon Bay especially for his father’s birthday, and yet he was nowhere in sight.
Kit didn’t stop to analyze why she wanted to see Barnaby so badly, but she highly suspected it had something to do with him giving her a severe case of the butterflies the other evening.
Getting a glass of wine from the Calder’s makeshift bar in their living room, Kit felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
Following the feeling, she looked over towards the door to the kitchen and noticed Barnaby, also glass of wine in hand, watching her with a contemplative mix of interest and just plain outright annoyance.
Kit dropped her eyes from his stare. What was his problem? He’d asked her to come to this shindig in the first place. She looked down at her shoes; her usual starting point when she felt she was drawing attention; no TP there. It couldn’t be what she was wearing, could it?
The dress that Jasmine had lent her was a soft tangerine chiffon creation that hugged all the good parts and disguised all the ones that Ben and Jerry found so attractive to cling to. She’d done her hair up in a high pony-tail, and left out wisps of hair to prettily frame her face. On the whole, Kit thought she looked pretty darn fetching. At least she looked better than the last time Barnaby had seen her. The difference was night a day.
Frowning, Kit looked up and found him gone from his observation post. Good, she thought crossly; if he was going to make her this uneasy, his absence would not be missed.
The new Barnaby was much more moody and complicated than the one she remembered. The old Barnaby couldn’t make her quiver in her shoes or produce sweaty palms. That was something that only Jeremy Atwell could do.
With that thought, Kit shook uncontrollably and almost spilled her wine all over her borrowed dress. She needed some air desperately. Things were getting all muddled up in her head. What she felt back then and what she felt now was skewed, and a little fuzzy.
Placing her wine glass on a nearby sideboard, Kit made her way outside to the barbeque area and took some deep breaths. She shouldn’t have come. There had been something brewing in the kitchen (other than tea) the other night between her and Barnaby and she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to find out what it was.
The air blowing in from the sea was cool and refreshing. Hopefully, it would blow all the confusion from Kit’s scrambled brain. Calm down, she told herself in no uncertain terms, everything was going to be okay; all you need is a few moments solitude to make some sense of all these bewildering new feelings.
“Nice dress” said a voice from the darkness. Kit peered into the night and instantly recognised the form relaxing on one of the chaise lounges, obscured by the dimness.
“Oh crap. You scared me Barn.” Kit gasped, her hand going to her chest.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” he said simply. “Here, take a load off” he added, indicating the vacant chaise beside him.
“Thanks” Kit mumbled, sitting by his side.
“I don’t recall ever having seen you in a dress before” he stated with a chuckle. “You almost look girly.”
“I wore one to Prom, remember” Kit said, but immediately back-peddled; mentioning Prom was not, repeat not a good idea. Laughing in her nervousness, Kit rambled on, “My friend Jasmine has so many beautiful dresses, that when she offers one to me I simply can’t refuse. Although the canary yellow one was not particularly my style, so I gave that one a pass. They’re all vintage, but in perfect condition …”
“Kit?”
“Huh?”
“Shut up”
“Did you just tell me to shut up, Barnaby Calder?” Stifling an ill-timed giggle, she cleared her throat.
“You heard what I said” he replied calmly. “Just stop the verbal diarrhea Kit, before it becomes full blown dysentery”
Kit swallowed and calmed down a notch. “You’re right. I was blathering”
Barnaby grinned at her. “Yes, you were.” After a moment he added, “You see, I still know you pretty well. Enough to know when you’re nervous as hell; you can’t stop talking and you laugh like a hyena.”
Narrowing her eyes at him, Kit was a little indignant. “You think I’m nervous around you?” she asked with a caustic look. “Ha, that’s rich.”
“It’s funny though” he said, scratching his chin in thought, “Used to be you only got nervous with guys you liked –like … Jeremy Atwell” he added pointedly.
Kit feigned ignorance. “Who?”
Shaking his head, Barnaby smiled at her knowingly. “You know, the guy in high school you worshipped, pined for, dreamed of and generally bent my ear talking about for what seemed like an eternity. The guy you loved so much that you couldn’t see straight, let alone breathe when he walked in the room. The guy you swore you wanted to be the father of your children. The guy you wanted to lose your virginity to…”
“Oh, him” Kit cut in, discontinuing the embarrassing tirade.
“Oh, you remember him now?”
“Yeah. It was all pretty juvenile in retrospect, huh?”
Barnaby ran his hand through his thick brown hair, and Kit’s fingers suddenly had the urge to do the same. “Oh, I don’t know” he said seriously, “It certainly seemed to pack a wallop at the time”
“Funny thing is; I ran into Jeremy the other night.” Kit revealed with a small laugh. “He didn’t even remember me from high school. Can you believe that?”
“You saw Atwell?” Barnaby asked solemnly.
“Yeah. At Gillman’s” Now Kit was truly laughing; she wasn’t sure if she found it truly amusing or if it was nerves. From the look on Barnaby’s face the latter was a distinct possibility. “Get this, Jeremy actually hit on me.”
Barnaby’s face was a mask of stone. “He what?”
<
br /> Giggling, Kit continued. “He hit on me.”
Looking away, Barnaby was quiet a moment, then turned to face her once again and asked, “So, what did you do?”
“What do you think I did?” she asked shakily, his intensity rattling what she had thought would be an amusing story.
“I don’t know Kit. And maybe I don’t want to know” he replied, getting up from the chaise and striding back towards the house.
Kit yelled out to him, “I turned him down.”
He was back by her side in an instant. “What did you say?”
“I turned him down. Seems that finally getting what I wanted cured me of my obsession with Jeremy Atwell once and for all.” Kit hoped that her answer would stop all the tension that had inexplicably appeared on the patio with the mention of Jeremy’s name.
“That’s nice to hear” Barnaby answered and visibly relaxed. But the aloofness remained. Kit was mystified. Standing up and facing him, she touched his arm gingerly. “I’m sorry I put you through so much in high school Barn. I must have been a real pain in your ass. I hope I’m a little older and wiser now. Back then I didn’t drink from the fountain of knowledge, I only gargled”
With that, Kit finally got a smile out of him and she felt an enormous sense of relief. She also felt an enormous urge to kiss him engulf her and wondered if she should give in to it. All signs pointed to no, really bad idea, but then her GAG reflex kicked in, and she decided to go for it.
Entwining her arms around Barnaby’s neck, she got up on tiptoe and went in unrepentant.
“Don’t Kit” he uttered pulling her arms from around his neck. “I don’t want to kiss you” he added, plunging the dagger a little further.
Kit went red-faced and couldn’t look him in the eye. “I don’t believe this” she sighed incredulously, looking at the ground. How humiliating!
“What don’t you believe?” he asked angrily.
“I think I should go!” she replied, turning to leave the patio and the scene of yet another embarrassment.
“Wait a second” he said, grabbing her arm and spinning her to face him. “What don’t you believe? Did you think that after all this time; good old Barnaby would still be aching with everlasting love for you? That my feelings wouldn’t have changed? Yours did, you admitted it. Jeremy Atwell means nothing to you now. Is it so hard to believe that you now mean nothing to me?”
Kit controlled herself; she wouldn’t cry, she wouldn’t cry. Damn it! The tears were rolling down her cheeks and she couldn’t stop them. What a stupid idiot she was. Damn GAG, damn Barnaby Calder; damn it all!
Wrenching her arm from his grasp, she fled through the backyard gate. She certainly couldn’t run through the party in the state she was in.
Was this how Barnaby had felt all those years ago when she’d rejected him? No. For him it had been much worse; he’d loved her and she’d stomped on his heart and told him he could never mean anything to her. Karma was a bitch! No, she was the bitch!
Kit got to her car in record time. Barnaby didn’t come after her. He’d made his feelings, or rather lack thereof, completely known. Their friendship was dead; she’d mortally wounded it ten years ago at Prom. She finished the job off tonight. And all the remorse and guilt she felt couldn’t resuscitate it.
It was a good thing Barnaby lived in Silicon Valley, so she wouldn’t have to endure the pain and humiliation of seeing him around town. After tonight’s turn of events, Kit couldn’t help but consider that perhaps her whole purpose in life was simply to serve as a warning to others.
Tomorrow she would go see Jasmine, hopefully for some words of wisdom, and a sympathetic, albeit pink, shoulder to cry on. She’d been so happy the last few days. To think it could all come crashing down so easily.
CHAPTER 11 - A fool and his money are easily parted
The moment Kit entered the shop the next morning Jasmine knew something had gone very wrong at the party she’d attended. Her face was so puffy and her eyes so red, that Jasmine immediately dropped everything to rush to the convenience store down the street for a tub of Kit’s medicine of choice –Chunky Monkey.
After Kit got out the whole story of the Barnaby debacle, with multiple intermissions for copious amounts of ice-cream; Jasmine voiced her opinion on the whole affair.
“He’s still in love with you”
“Jas, you’re crazy” Kit replied, still sniffling from her bout of crying, but starting to buck up.
“Number one, the guy can’t keep his eyes off you; number two, he’s flitting from sweet to sour, happy to angry in moments; number three, he doesn’t want to kiss you …”
“Wait a second, why exactly does he not want to kiss me, if he’s in love with me, like you say?”
“He’s afraid of getting hurt. You hurt him once; he doesn’t want his affections trifled with and get his heart broken again” Jasmine declared with an air of authority.
“What you say makes sense, I guess. So what do I do?” Kit asked, blowing her nose for the umpteenth time.
“You do nothing”
“Nothing?”
Jasmine closed up the tub of Ben and Jerry’s and went to the back of the store and deposited it into the freezer. When she came back, Kit was still waiting to hear with bated breath what she meant by “nothing”.
“Just go and paint Kit” she said at last.
“Paint? What do you mean “paint”?”
“Just move on with your life. If Barnaby is going to re-enter it, he will. Have you learned nothing from the Jeremy incident?”
“Which one?” Kit asked densely with a smirk.
“High school Jeremy” Jasmine explained. “You did everything you could to be noticed, to be loved, to be visible. And in the end, it didn’t matter one iota”
Kit looked uncomfortable. “Thanks for reminding me.”
Jasmine grinned at her. “Just go about your business and let what happens, happen. Don’t wonder about, or hope, or pine for things that are beyond your control. You can only control what you do and feel; not what others do and feel.”
“So you’re saying I should just let Barnaby walk out of my life without even a “sorry for trying to kiss you”?” Kit asked miserably. The whole GAG theory had completely backfired, and she was now severely doubting everything she’d done up to now.
“If you see him, what will you say?” Jasmine questioned with a hand on her hip.
“Well, I’ll tell him I’m sorry I did what I did and that I really want us to be friends again.” Kit replied sincerely.
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I do” Kit said indignantly.
Jasmine let out a frustrated breath, and continued her cross-examination. “What I mean is, are you sorry you wanted to kiss him, and do you only want to be friends, or do you want more than that, romantically speaking?”
Kit felt a little on the spot. Jasmine’s interrogation was unearthing a whole treasure trove of uncertainties with regard to her feelings. “I’m not sure” she replied timidly.
“Well, then. I’d say I have to side with Barnaby. There’s no way in the world you should have kissed him. Not if you don’t want to take it any further. If I were you, I wouldn’t be going near him any time in the near future.”
“Ya think?”
“No way, Jose. You either have to be able to say “Barnaby, I’m not sorry I wanted to kiss you, and I want to be more than friends” or you have to really apologize for what you’ve done and try and make amends. Until you’re sure of your feelings, I think you should stay well clear of Mr. Barnaby Calder”
“Once again, you’re right Jas” Kit said in agreement, getting up off her stool and hugging her tightly. ”I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re a life-saver.”
“Eh” Jasmine shrugged.
Kit giggled at her modesty. Trust Jasmine to tell it like it is and be able to make her feel better; if not totally ready to join the human race again. She was right, of course. If Barnaby was still in l
ove with her, he’d hate her forever if she pursued him with what would be, for her, just a bit of fun. And she just couldn’t do that to him. She’d hurt him too much in the past.
“So are you ready for some good news?” Jasmine said with a big smile.
“Well I could use some” Kit retorted smartly.
“Notice anything different around here since Friday?” she said cryptically.
Kit’s eyes wandered around the shop and fell on the wall that previously held her painting. “Where is it?” she whispered. “What have you done?”
Back to Square One (Brandon Bay Babes) Page 6
