“Of course,” Dr. Chin chuckled. “You had some pretty serious trauma to the frontal lobe but because of your age, we expect for you to make a full recovery. The brain doesn’t stop growing until you’re twenty-five. Once the swelling went down and I was able to assess the damage, I didn’t see anything so serious that you would be severely damaged for life. I told your mother that the outburst you had when you first woke up was normal.
I know it was very scary for her and she didn’t think it would be smart for us to speak directly to you until you settled in with the tragic news about your brother.” He paused and looked from me to Solana. “She had to make a very hard decision to take Everett off life support.”
Everything came to a screeching halt.
My muscles tensed and my brows crashed together on my forehead.
“She did what?” I growled. I stood to my feet, eating up the office space around me.
“She…took your brother off life support after he showed no brain activity for forty-eight hours.”
“Everett was alive for two days before he died?” My words got stuck in my throat fighting for space with emotions. Solana looked up at me and I knew I needed to sit back down. I was on the verge of another outburst like the one I had when I first woke up.
“She didn’t tell you any of this? Ezra, I’m so sorry, son.”
“Did he have a chance? Did he ever have a chance to live?” I asked, my words wobbling from the immense gravity of my question.
“His brain damage was too extensive. There was no response. We could have waited a while longer but ultimately I think she made the right choice I’m just sorry she didn’t tell you about it.”
“Me too,” I said pulling back the urge to cry. I gripped the amethyst crystal Solana gave me and held her hand even tighter.
“You, on the other hand we knew would pull through. You had brain activity but there was a lot of swelling as I said before.”
“Doctor Chin, what are my limitations in everyday life? My mother led me to believe I would never be able to live on my own or make decisions for myself. She told me I’d always have violent outbursts and I wouldn’t be able to drive or have a relationship. Some of that has to be true, right?”
Dr. Chin looked at me totally stunned and shook his head. “Absolutely not, Ezra. You’re a normal young man. When you first went home, I explained there’d be some difficulty. Maybe some fuzzy logic and difficulty with decision-making but that it would clear up a little every day. Even quicker if you came for recovery therapy.” He pressed his lips into a tight line and grunted. “It’s clear to me that you’ve been done a great disservice. I’m not sure what your mother’s aim is but what she’s neglected to tell you about the accident is counterproductive. I have another appointment in a few minutes but please take my card. We can set up sessions to help you even further and I can check your head to see how well you’re healing. Does that sound good?”
“Yeah, that sounds great. Thanks, Dr. Chin.” I shook his hand and he smiled at me.
“And thank your lucky stars that you have a girlfriend who loves you as much as Miss Monroe does. If she hadn’t brought you in here to speak to me, you would have lived your entire life stunted for no reason.” He shook Solana’s hand too and she thanked him profusely for meeting with us on such short notice.
Dr. Chin left the office and left us alone.
I was alone with a lot of heavy emotions and I didn’t know what to do with them.
“Ezra, are you okay?” Solana asked. Her voice was quiet and still. It was what I needed. I hung my head low and shrugged my shoulders.
“How can I be okay knowing my mother didn’t tell me that Everett lived for two days before she decided to kill him?”
“Dr. Chin said…”
“I don’t give a fuck what the Dr. said. Two days isn’t enough time. What if all he needed was me? We’ll never fucking know and I can’t forgive her for that.” I stood up and walked to the door. “Let’s go,” I said to Solana.
We headed back to her car and I opened the door for her then I walked around and got in. “Let’s go somewhere and get breakfast, Ezra.” She touched my leg gently and looked at me. Even though I was consumed with anger, Solana made me feel at peace.
Since we were in Inglewood, I knew exactly where to take her for breakfast. Every time we stopped, I looked at Solana to remind myself of how lucky I was even though life dealt me a momentary shitty hand. I made my mind up right then that I would never let go of her no matter what came our way.
I didn’t know anything about kids but I knew the kind of person I wished my mother was. I knew the kind of person I wanted to be and if Malachi were lucky enough to live with Solana I’d be that kind of person.
I pulled into a diner not too far from my old house. I saw a few guys I went to school with hanging outside and my back tensed when I walked past them with Solana. I saw every single one of them turn their heads when we approached.
“What’s up, Ezra?” One of them called out. I nodded and kept walking. Solana tucked her hand inside of mine and I squeezed it a little letting her know she was okay as long as she was with me.
“Yo, is that your girl, cuz?” Another one asked moving closer.
“Yeah, why?” I was tired of the bullshit already. I squared my shoulders and stared every one of them down. I never let go of Solo’s hand though.
“She’s bad as fuck. How the hell did you pull her?”
“Wow, is that how we talk about people who are standing right here?” Solana said with a frown.
“Yeah, bad bitches shouldn’t talk. Just stand there and look good.”
I dropped Solo’s hand and stepped chest to chest with the disrespectful motherfucker. “What the fuck did you say?” I fisted my hands at my side. Solana tugged on my shirt trying to pull me backward but she was too tiny to budge me.
“It’s a compliment. Chill out, Defect.”
“Ezra, fuck him. Fuck all of them. I’m not with them. I’m with you.” I was ready to throw my fist through his face but Solana stood in front of me wedging herself between the vortex of negative energy.
She was right but I hated hearing anyone disrespect her. “Solo, move. Now.”
“We don’t want any trouble after the way you fucked Toni up.” He held
His hands up and backed away then Solana pulled me inside the diner. “Ezra you don’t have to defend me.” She frowned once we were tucked away inside a booth.
“Are you mine?” I asked, my jaw flexing. I was still riled up on adrenaline from almost knocking that motherfuckers head off.
“I am.” She nodded.
“Then I’m going to protect you no matter what. That’s something you have to understand.” I sighed and touched the ends of her hair. “Solana, you’re all I have right now. I feel like I don’t know my own mother anymore and Everett is gone. I’d die to protect you and I know that’s some heavy shit but it’s true.”
“I understand, Ezra. I’m not mad at it. I just don’t want you to ever do anything that could get you taken away from me. What if you started a fight with those ignorant assholes? What if you got locked up or hurt?” Tears shimmered in her brandy pools and it hit me in the gut. She was scared of losing me.
Me.
The fucked up broken kid.
Someone cared about losing me.
“If I lost you, it would kill me.”
I nodded quietly and leaned over to kiss her lips. “I didn’t know you were afraid of something happening to me.”
“I didn’t either until right now. You mean the world to me.”
“I’ll keep my temper in check,” I said rubbing her cheek.
“Good. If you keep yours in check, I’ll keep mine in check.” I noticed her eyes trailing over to the counter where I saw Sierra Gellar staring at me. This had to be the worst fucking day to ride around Inglewood. “Does she know you too?” Solana asked.
“Yeah, that’s Sierra. Remember the girl I told you about?” I rubbed
my forehead and waved at her since she wouldn’t stop staring. She sucked on her straw like it was something else and waved back at me wiggling her fingers.
“Oh, yeah. I remember,” Solana laughed a little and looked at the menu. Sierra hopped off the stool and swayed her hips over to our table while Solo leaned against me, flipping through the laminated menu pages.
“Hi, Ezra,” she purred. “I’m so glad to see you’re feeling better. I’m sorry about Ev.”
“Thank you, Sierra.”
“So where did you move after those guys jumped you?” She moved a little closer and looked directly into my eyes while she sucked on her drink.
“Radcliff,” I said. I needed to take a page out of Solana’s book because she wasn’t bothered by Sierra’s presence at all. She had a silent confidence about her that refused to be rattled. I kept stealing glances at her, amazed that she was mine.
“Damn, I don’t even know where that is,” she laughed.
“It’s a super small town about forty-five minutes from here,” Solana said with her usual bright smile. Sierra looked at her then narrowed her eyes before turning back to me.
“Anyway, Ezra. You know there’s a rumor going around that those boys were paid to jump you? It wasn’t even Toni who sent them. Nobody wanted any smoke with you after what you did to him. Some people will do anything for money though.”
“Did you say someone paid for him to be jumped?” Solo had been the picture of peace during my entire interaction with Sierra but hearing that shit ruffled her feathers in a way I’d never seen before.
She pulled her shoulders back and raised her eyebrows waiting to hear more from Sierra. “I was talking to Ezra. Not you.” That was probably the wrong thing to say. I opened my mouth to jump in but Solo spoke before me.
“And I was talking to you. So either answer me or move along because your attempt at getting his attention is pointless.” Sierra opened her mouth and closed it then cleared her throat.
“Yeah. The rumor is somebody paid Toni’s boys to jump you so it would look like he had something to do with it. I don’t know how true it is but some guys who hang with Toni are right outside.”
“Yeah. We saw them coming in. Assholes,” I grumbled.
“Can I talk to you for a minute, Ezra?” Sierra asked, looking at Solana. Hell, I looked at her too but she didn’t say anything. She looked at the menu and crossed her chocolate legs under the table. I gave her thigh a squeeze then slid out of the booth and walked over to the counter with Sierra.
“What’s up? I’m trying to eat breakfast with my girl.”
“Oh, well I guess that answers my question. So you two are together?”
“Yeah. We’re together. That’s all me.” I looked over my shoulder at her and noticed all the other men in the diner were looking with me.
She was bad as fuck.
I had to keep my cool because I wanted to tell every man in there to stop staring at her.
“Damn. I thought we were going to have a chance together. I guess I was wrong.”
“I really did like you, Sierra but after the crash and losing Ev a lot of shit changed. I’m not the same anymore. It has nothing to do with you though. You’re awesome.”
“Is there a chance you and your girlfriend won’t make it? You think she’ll let you have friends? I mean she’s pretty, I’m sure the guys at her college are all over her. She can’t be mad if you have a friend.”
“You think she’s in college?” I laughed, holding my stomach. Solana didn’t look a day over twenty-one, to be honest. The fact that she was ten years older than me still fucked with my head.
“Yeah, isn’t she? She looks like she’s in college.”
“Nah. She’s not and I don’t need any female friends. Solana is all the friend I need right now.” I sighed a little and waved at Sierra. “I’ll see you around.”
When I slid back into the booth beside Solo, she looked at me and I started talking. She didn’t even have to say anything. “She wanted to know if I was going to break up with you any time soon and if I wasn’t would you let me have friends.” Saying it out loud was ridiculous and I laughed a little. “Let’s order some damn food. I’m starving.”
“I already ordered for us while you were over there talking to your fan.” She sucked in a breath and said, “Ezra, how are you handling all this information being thrown at you?”
“I feel betrayed. I feel confused. I can’t wait to confront my mother. I want to know what the fuck she thought she was doing by not telling me that I would heal and be fine. I want to know why the didn’t tell me Ev was alive for two days. I want to know why she didn’t wait for me to wake up before she took him off life support.” The more I talked, the higher my voice elevated. My muscles ached with anger and the need to release it.
Solana rubbed the back of my hand and feeling her warmth took the edge off the pain in my chest. “Can I make a suggestion, Ezra?”
“Of course. What’s the suggestion?” Before she could tell me what it was, the server brought our food. Solana ordered me eggs, bacon, and toast and she had grits, fruit and a multi-grain bagel.
“I don’t think you should confront your mother when she gets home. You need time to sleep on everything. You have to let it sink in.”
“I don’t need it to sink in. She’s been lying to me this entire time and for what? She wanted to keep me dependent on her for the rest of my life. That’s fucked up.”
“It is. I’m not saying she’s right. I don’t agree with anything she did or how she handled it. I don’t want you to fly off the handle without grounding yourself first. Don’t go home tonight. Come stay with me. My mattress is on the floor because someone broke it,” she glared at me. “I’ll make you some mushroom risotto and rolls though.”
“I didn’t hear you mention dessert.” I said, eyeing her.
“What do you want for dessert?” She asked. I didn’t say anything I only slipped my hand under her dress under the cover of the table and cupped her warm pussy.
“That’s my dessert,” I told her with a smirk.
“Oh…well, okay then,” she stammered. When she tipped her head down I could see the deep red blush scattering across her cheeks. “Ezra, we’re in public.”
“I know. It’s mine in public and in private. Right?” I found her clit through the silky fabric of her panties and she squirmed beside me, trying to act interested in her breakfast. She didn’t give a damn about food once my thumb was massaging her plump clit under the table.
“Right,” she nodded.
“Good girl.” I kissed her cheek then moved my hand and she pushed out a relieved breath.
“You are so bad.”
“Me? Nah. I’m good.” I winked at her and started eating my food. I really wanted to eat her though. It would definitely help me forget about the fact that my mother had been lying to me since the car crash. I didn’t know how to process any of that shit.
How could she do that to me?
How could she do that to Ev?
I forced my brain to stop chewing on it by talking to Solana. Every time she tried to gauge how I felt about things, I dodged the topic. “Ezra, can you at least tell me if you’re going to sleep at home tonight or if you’re staying at my place.”
“Do you have to ask? Of course, I’m staying with you tonight.” A part of me was still nervous about openly not coming home. All the other times, I snuck out and locked my door so that my mother thought I was being an anti-social dick. If she knew I wasn’t there all night she would have lost her shit.
Why did I care what she thought after hearing what Dr. Chin said though? Had she wormed her way that deep into my psyche? Even though I heard straight from the neurologist’s mouth that I would heal, I still worried about pissing Mom off. I still worried that my brain was broken.
“Solo, what if the doctor was wrong?” I asked, clearing my throat.
“Wrong?” She laughed. “Ezra, don’t let your mother live that deep inside your head
. You have to know you’re okay. She was lying to you.”
“I guess so. I’m just…so mad I don’t know how to unpack all the different ways it’s making me feel.”
“And that’s why I don’t want you to go home and confront her tonight. I want you to get your thoughts together.” There was nothing that would help me get my thoughts together more than being around Solana. I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles. The fourth finger on her left hand still bothered me. Eventually, I wanted to fix that problem.
Across the diner, I saw Sierra staring at us while her friends laughed and talked around her. Looking at her made me realize what I told her was true. I absolutely wasn’t the same kid I was before the accident.
“Let’s go,” I said, waving for the server. “I want to see if those guys I went to school with are still out front.”
“Ugh, they’re disgusting. They make my skin crawl. I can’t believe you went to school with them.”
“Yeah. Even before the accident, I was never like them.” The server came over and put the check on the table. I pulled out my wallet and paid then we left.
All but two of the guys from school were still hanging around outside. “Go ahead to the car. I’ll be over there in a minute,” I told her.
“No, I’m going wherever you go. I don’t trust them.” Once she folded her arms across her chest and tipped her nose in the air I knew there was no making her leave.
We walked over to the guys together. One was lounging against the side of the diner, looking down at his phone when I approached. It was the same asshole that disrespected Solana and called me Defect.
“Yo, I need to ask you a question,” I said. He looked up from his phone and took a step away from me. Fear rippled across his irises.
“I told you, Ezra, I don’t want any trouble.”
“Good then answer my question. What’s the rumor about somebody paying Toni’s boys to jump me?” His gaze shifted over to his boy and they both looked at me with uneasy expressions.
Defect Page 19
