She had no idea how to satisfy that, so she did her best to push aside such thoughts and try to sleep, though she was largely unsuccessful. She was awake enough throughout the night to realize Dante never returned to the tent, and she was certain it was because she was there. He seemed upset by what had occurred between them, and though it had been amazing to her, realizing it hurt him for whatever reason made her sorry they had done it. How could something so wonderful leave her feeling so conflicted?
Chapter Five
Mal woke early, as was his habit, rising slightly after dawn had finished streaking the sky, still seeing orange and purple on the horizon. It was perhaps his favorite time of day, and he was usually alone to enjoy it.
This morning, he noticed he wasn’t entirely sharing the space with himself and only himself as he exited his tent to find Dante sleeping in a hammock strung between two trees. His friend looked uncomfortable and not very rested, and Mal chuckled in spite of himself. He knew how much the kid hated a hammock, so he must have been feeling a real gentleman vibe to give up his tent.
As he went by, he deliberately twisted the rope, making the hammock jump and causing Dante to groan. “I thought you were sharing the tent with her.” He couldn’t bring himself to say her name or even really picture her, and he certainly wasn’t going to contemplate how he’d felt when he saw her disappearing into Dante’s tent the night before, and then Dante following a few hours later when she had that horrible nightmare. He told himself he’d been content to allow Dante to handle it, and he clung to that story.
“It didn’t seem like the best idea to share with her,” said Dante in a surly tone. He sounded more like Mal than himself this morning.
“Get up and make some coffee. It’ll wake you up.” He gave that advice as he went to fetch more wood, since what he’d gathered the night before had burned down to ash. He restarted the fire as Brax climbed out of his tent in time to see Dante taking down the hammock.
Brax seemed surprised to see that. “I thought you were sharing with Abby?”
“I gave her my tent. I didn’t say I was going to share with her,” said Dante in a crabby tone.
“No, I’m pretty sure you said you’d share with her,” said Brax with an air of innocence, though his eyes were gleaming. He was clearly enjoying teasing their friend.
Mal was enjoying it as well, but his amusement fled when Abby joined them a few minutes later. For some reason, he’d expected her to sleep much longer and had anticipated having to rouse her. Of course, he would’ve left that job to Dante or maybe Brax, because he wanted to avoid the little angel as much as possible. He wasn’t absolutely sure she was an angel, but she sure wasn’t human, and there was one thing he was certain of—she was trouble.
“Are you up for breakfast this morning, princess?” he asked with a hint of mockery in his tone as he laid the grate over the fire before adding the cast-iron skillet.
She nodded, seeming well-rested and at peace in a way she hadn’t yesterday. He was confused by it, but he sure wasn’t going to ask for information about her. He didn’t care anything about her, and he definitely wasn’t going to try to make small talk with her.
The sooner she was out of their lives, the better for all of them. He was convinced of that until he looked up and caught sight of her soft smile directed toward Dante. There was an edge to it that he didn’t like, and it set his insides turning. He refused to label his reaction, and he forced his attention back to the task of cooking bacon and frying eggs.
It was over breakfast plates as they ate that Abby really spoke for the first time besides a quiet good morning when she’d risen. She looked at Dante now, and there was a furrow in her brow, as though she were thinking heavily. “Were you upset with me because I didn’t reciprocate?”
His friend choked before looking at her as he coughed to clear his airway of the bite he’d taken. “What?”
She frowned. “You seemed angry with me last night after you had given me so much pleasure. I didn’t understand to start with, but I thought maybe later… I mean, I realize that maybe I should have reciprocated. Was I supposed to touch you as well?”
Dante went scarlet, and he started choking all over again despite not having another bite in his mouth. Mal didn’t help matters, because he started laughing even as he reached over to pound Dante on the back. It was difficult to tell if he was trying to help his friend or if he was just sharing his amusement.
Abby seemed confused, and Mal realized he was the only one who was irritated as he glared at Dante. “We all agreed we’d get her some place safe and walk away. What the hell were you thinking?”
His friend was still a little pale and seemed to be having trouble getting a deep breath, but he answered in a hoarse tone. “I didn’t plan anything. She had a bad dream, and I wanted to make her feel better.”
“You don’t owe us an explanation,” said Brax quickly.
“He sure as hell does. We all agreed—”
“It’s a shitty agreement,” said Dante with unexpected fire in his tone. “Sorry I couldn’t live up to it. I’m not as good as you are, Mal. I still have feelings and emotions.”
Mal recoiled at the accusation that suggested he didn’t. With a growl of irritation at all three of them, he got up to stride away, moving from their campsite and deeper into the wild woods around them. The park service didn’t keep this part groomed, and he was thankful for the primal feel as he stomped through the forest, surprised when he emerged into a clearing to find a creek rushing through.
A cold dip might do wonders to clear his thoughts, so he shed his clothes and stepped into the stream. It was only waist deep at its deepest point, but it was enough that when he bent down and fully submerged himself, he emerged from the water feeling clearer moments later.
Only after he started to exit did he realize Abby was standing there with her arms crossed, looking at him. She seemed perturbed, and he tried to pretend he didn’t care how she was feeling.
If she wanted to stare, she might as will get an eyeful. With that thought in mind, he straightened his shoulders and strode from the water, bare-ass naked as he stood in front of her. “What do you want?” He reached for his T-shirt and used it to dry his hair before he started drying his body. He could always fetch a clean one from his pack.
“I want to know why you don’t like me?” She spoke as though it didn’t bother her, but her expression betrayed her. She was clearly upset by the perceived dislike along with being confused by it.
“It’s nothing personal, but I think you’re dangerous.”
She frowned. “I’m not going to hurt you. I wouldn’t even know how.”
He tamped down the urge to roll his eyes. “I don’t think you’re any risk to us physically, princess, but you’re shrouded in a mystery wrapped in an enigma. I don’t like not knowing what’s happening, and you’re putting us all in danger.”
She flinched at that. “I had no idea. I would never want to do that. I’m sorry.” She started to turn away from him, clearly distraught.
Despite his conviction he didn’t care anything about her, he couldn’t still the compulsion to reach out to grasp her arm, turning her back to him. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Abby.” He spoke much kinder than he had before.
Her eyes widened, and she was clearly as surprised as he was. “I don’t want to hurt you either. I’ll leave right now.”
He sighed with impatience. “You can’t leave yet. You have no idea where you’re going or any way how to take care of yourself. Don’t be foolish.”
She shook her head. “It’s not being foolish to want to protect you. I want to take care of all of you after you’ve done so much for me.”
He snorted. “I haven’t done a thing for you, Abby. All I’ve done is be a right bastard since you joined us.”
She shrugged her shoulder. “Yes, but it’s because you’re worried about yourself and your friends. I can hardly find fault with that.”
He winced at the words
. They seemed to absolve him of everything, but it only underscored how selfish he’d been by worrying just about himself. Of course, he worried about Dante and Brax as well, but a large measure of not wanting her around was strictly personal.
He’d been there and done that with one woman before, and he was determined never to feel anything like that again. For the first time, he admitted he wasn’t worried so much about the physical risks she represented as much as he was about the emotional ones. He had a feeling Abby could get through the walls he kept tightly built and free from cracks, and he didn’t want that.
Nor could he allow her to rush off to do something foolish in a bid to save them though. With another sigh, he pulled her closer. “You need to stay with us for now. We can keep you safe until we find somewhere you’ll be safe for sure. You promise?”
She shook her head. “I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to—”
Before he could think better of it, he bent his head and kissed her. It was a hard, almost punishing kiss, because he was angry at her failure to agree just as he was angry at the way she made him feel. He liked not feeling much of anything, particularly on a romantic front.
Loving Brax and Dante like brothers was quite different from loving a woman like a partner as he had Lori. Losing her had convinced him he’d never go through that again, but all his determination and thoughts scattered like spores in the wind when he held her in his arms.
Her mouth was at first reluctant under his, but soon enough, she was matching his pace. It changed from a punishing kiss to one of intense passion, and he felt like he could pull her into his arms until they were one. He had the demonic urge to completely consume her essence, to possess her fully, and that was a slight wake-up call, at least enough for him to pull back, though he didn’t drop his arms from around her.
He rested his forehead against her as he stared into her eyes. They were glassy and wide, and she still seemed to be feeling the effects of desire. He was as well, though he wanted to resist it. He tried with all his might, but he still couldn’t force himself to step back from her.
“Do all men kiss all women?” she asked after a moment.
He frowned at the question. “What? Of course not.”
She tilted her head slightly, though her forehead was still pressed against his. “Do demons kiss all women then?”
He shook his head. “Why do you ask?”
“You have kissed me, and Dante kissed me. Only Brax has not kissed me yet, so will he kiss me as well?”
Mal’s fists tightened, and he managed to step away from her. “That’s up to him,” he answered in a gruff tone, making no effort to hide how much he disliked the idea. He wanted to avoid labeling it, but there was no denying he felt a surge of jealousy at the idea of Dante having already kissed her, or Brax doing the same. It was strange, because he’d never felt possessive before the times they had shared women. There was something different about Abby though.
“Is it common for friends to kiss the same woman?” She was clearly intrigued by the idea. “Or to touch her all at the same time?” There was a note of longing in her tone.
He growled, attempting to ignore her question as he turned away from her to jerk on his underpants and jeans, though his body was still slightly damp. He ignored the discomfort as he shoved his feet into his boots and grabbed his wet T-shirt before turning back to face her. “You need to stop thinking about such things. You’re an angel. You’re not meant for that sort of thing.”
She frowned, looking confused. “Would that not be my decision to make?”
It was almost heartbreaking that she was asking his permission to make a decision, and he wondered if it was true, what the other demons said. They acknowledged Infernum ran like a dictatorship, but it seemed like a paradise of free will when contrasted with Caelum. He’d heard enough about Iramiel, the angel in control of Caelum, to believe it. “It’s your choice, but it’s also at the judgment of the men you’re contemplating making that choice with.”
She tilted her head further. “So, you don’t share?”
He started to affirm that, but then he shifted awkwardly on his feet for a moment as he stared down at her. Damn her with her uncomfortable questions. “We have in the past.”
She tilted her head even more, and to the point he feared she might develop a permanent crick in it if she kept it that way. “So, you do share, but you have no desire to share me? I understand.” She sounded unemotional, but her eyes welled with tears, and she blinked rapidly as she turned and rushed back to camp.
He thought about calling after her to explain the situation and clarify his emotions and intent, but he decided against it. It was better all around if she thought he didn’t want to share her, and there was some truth to it. Part of him wanted to lock her way to keep her for himself, but that was the part he didn’t want to acknowledge. That was the same part that had allowed him to foolishly fall in love with a human woman, who was vulnerable to his enemies, far more vulnerable than another demon would’ve been, or an angel.
If he were going to share her, he would have no objection to doing so with Mal and Dante, but he found the idea unsettling, nonetheless. He wanted nothing to do with the ties his heart was trying to form with her, and it was best if she thought he had little interest in her. He wouldn’t be able to completely convince her he had none after the powerful kiss they’d shared, but the more distance between them, the better.
After a few minutes, he returned to camp, finding Abby was behind Brax this time, and they all seemed to be waiting for him. Camp was packed up, including his own tent. He’d dallied enough that he’d avoided most of the work, though that hadn’t been his intent. He started to apologize for that, but Dante didn’t give him a chance. The younger demon stood in front of him, looking angry as he poked him in the chest. Physically, Dante wasn’t a match for him, but Mal held himself in check. “What do you want, kid?”
“I don’t know what you did to her, but it’s clear you hurt her.”
He frowned. “I didn’t lay a hand on her, and I wouldn’t.”
“Not that kind of hurt. She came back with glittering eyes and was clearly lost in thought. She’s still upset. I can tell just by looking at her. What did you do to her?”
“Nothing.” He immediately thought about the kiss and banished the thought from his mind. “If you’re smart, you’ll do the same. Stay away from her before you get your heart broken, kid. She’s a risk you shouldn’t take.”
“I get that, but I think it’s too late. Don’t hurt her though. If you don’t want her, fine, but you don’t have to hurt her.” He seemed prepared to act on his words.
Mal was surprised to realize Dante was so worried for her, though he supposed he shouldn’t have been. Whatever had transpired last night had been clearly more than a kiss but less than full consummation. His friend was likely revved up on the mix of adrenaline and hormones, and Mal wondered if there might be some emotions in the mix as well.
He’d never seen Dante be so protective of a woman before, and he’d certainly never seemed to be interested in just one, at least not for long. He took a step back, aiming to de-escalate the situation. “I’m just trying to do the right thing here, kid.”
Dante scowled for a moment, but then his posture slowly changed from combative to defeated. “Me too, but I’m not sure what that is right now. I just know hurting her isn’t the answer, and I won’t turn away from her.”
Mal sighed and nodded, not bothering to argue. As Dante turned and walked away to mount his bike, Mal did the same. When he did so, he wondered if he would have the fortitude to turn her away again if she approached him, or if he could even fight the compulsion to approach her.
There was something about Abby that drew him in, and he couldn’t fault Dante for being unable to resist when he couldn’t either. He could only hope his discouragement of her emotions had worked, and Abby would steer clear of him in future. It was the only thing that might save him.
Chapter Si
x
Abby was riding with Brax that morning instead of Dante, and his sheer size made it more challenging to hold on to him. It required her to sit even closer to wrap her arms around him in a way that felt secure. He didn’t seem to mind her proximity, and she wasn’t complaining either. As they rode, she found herself imagining how it would be to kiss him as well. Were those normal thoughts? She had no idea, but it didn’t feel wrong, so she decided not to worry about it.
They had been riding for a while when Brax started to slow the motorcycle, lifting a hand in some sort of signal to Mal and Dante, who rode behind them. Abby clutched him as he maneuvered the bike to the side of the road, looking over her shoulder to see the other two dismounting their bikes to approach.
Brax had put a foot on the asphalt, but he didn’t seem inclined to ask her to move, so she stayed where she was. She supposed she could have scooted back a little or released her hold on him, but she didn’t want to.
“What is it?” asked Mal as he arrived, with Dante trailing behind.
“We have a call.”
Abby watched over his shoulder as he reached into his shirt and extracted what looked like a plain cylindrical crystal hanging from a chain. It was glowing in a pulsing pattern, and it continued to do so until Brax took it into his hand and spoke a word. She didn’t recognize the word, but somehow, she knew the language was Latin.
A disembodied voice with a gruff edge filled the area around them, loud enough that the cars continuing to pass by did nothing to drown out the communication. “Brax, how are you and your band of misfits?” asked the voice.
Brax winced at the sound, and he seemed reluctant when he said, “We’re fine, Zephael. We haven’t heard from you in fifty years or so.”
“I haven’t needed your skillset, have I?” There was a chuckle of amusement, though he didn’t sound truly amused.
“Like we told you last time you called on us to do something—we’re not part of the war and we’re not in service anymore. We just want to be left alone here on Earth.” Brax wore a scowl, though his voice sounded reasonably neutral as he said the words.
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