by Kasie West
“And you aren’t over him.”
“What?”
He lowered his voice more, even though the girl wasn’t listening. “Alana called in to the podcast that first episode.”
“How did you know that?”
“One, because I recognized her voice. She was trying to disguise it but she slipped toward the end. And two, because of the way you were responding to her.”
“I guess I was pretty obvious for those who know me.” I couldn’t remember the exact exchange on the podcast but I knew I gave advice like, maybe you should let your friend get over him. And I vaguely remembered saying something about eating new fish when I was ready. “But no. I am over him. I mean, I wasn’t, or I thought I wasn’t, but then he texted me a couple weeks ago and I realized there was nothing left but the idea of him. I wasn’t over the idea of him but I was completely over him. It took him texting me to realize that.”
“So then why …” Diego stopped himself, shook his head, and said, “Never mind.”
“No, what were you going to say?”
It was our turn at the window and we stepped up.
“Are you getting something for Frank, too?” Diego asked.
Right. Frank. I was here with Frank, even if it was just a formality. “Yes. Two Cokes, please.”
Diego ordered the same and we headed back with our hands full.
“What were you going to say a minute ago?” I asked.
“I was going to ask you why you hadn’t moved on, but then I remembered you were here with Frank.”
I let a sharp breath out. “I don’t think I’m going to move on with Frank. We just barely started tolerating each other.”
“Kat!” A boy who couldn’t have been more than twelve came running up to me. “Can I take a selfie with you?”
“Fair warning, I take really awkward pictures.”
“I know! I saw your pictures online. They’re awesome.”
I laughed and let him snap a picture of us and the two sodas I held.
“Thanks!” he said, running off.
“You’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with your role,” Diego said. “I remember that first week, how you came into tutoring and were so hard on yourself and talked about how you would’ve given back the job if you could’ve.”
“That has not changed.”
“But you’ve embraced it.”
“I guess I sort of have.” I wanted to get good at hosting the podcast, and I had. And I’d still choose the lake … right?
“It’s a good look on you,” Diego said.
My traitorous brain said, Maybe he’d like you if you told him how you felt. I took a drink and swallowed that thought right down.
Our team won and that put everyone in an even better mood. The carnival was almost as loud as the football game had been. As promised, three big rides took up half the parking lot, along with booth after booth of carnival games—dart balloon pop, ring toss, water gun horse race, bounce house, and on and on down the line. There were also food booths everywhere, mostly candy, but some fried food on sticks as well.
And then there was the podcast stage. It was set up on the far end, with a big clearing for an audience. In one hour, I was supposed to go up there and talk, live, in front of a bunch of people. I waited for my nerves to kick up a notch but they didn’t. Maybe I had embraced this new role.
Alana and Diego were walking side by side, taking in the sights. Frank and I trailed behind them.
“Do you want to go on the Ferris wheel?” Frank asked me.
“Sure.”
“I have front of the line privileges for all the rides.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m okay waiting in line.”
“Well, I’m not.” He said it with a smile but I knew he was serious. He took my hand. “We’re going on a ride,” he announced.
Alana and Diego turned around. My hand in Frank’s did not escape Alana’s notice. She wiggled her eyebrows at me. I took my hand back and walked toward the Ferris wheel.
Frank was indeed serious about cutting. And to my surprise, nobody cared. They all called out their thanks to him for providing the rides. Great. That would just encourage him.
Frank and I stepped forward and were strapped into the seat. Frank’s arm immediately went around my shoulder as the ride jerked into motion. The motion stopped after ten feet, letting the next people on below us.
“Do you ever think that these parking lot rides are one loose bolt away from falling apart?” he asked, patting a metal support beam.
“Yes, actually. That is my first thought, followed by fear the rest of the ride.”
He swung his feet as we moved forward again.
When we stopped at the very top, he leaned forward and looked around. I watched him locate Alana and Diego, who were throwing darts at balloons.
“How much will you give me if I can hit Diego with my gum from up here?”
“Gross,” I said. “Don’t throw your gum.”
“I wasn’t going to throw it. I was going to spit it.”
I made a face. “Nice.”
“Alana would’ve laughed at that,” he said.
“And?”
“You don’t find me funny.”
“Sometimes you are funny.”
Frank’s arm was still around me, and with one of his fingers, he began drawing patterns on my arm.
I thought about telling him to stop. Oh no. Maybe he did like me. Maybe I was leading him on. But as I watched Alana and Diego down below, seeing how much fun they were having, I kept my mouth shut.
After several more rotations on the Ferris wheel, we reached solid ground again. “The bolt hung on for us,” I said as Frank and I walked away from the ride.
“We are survivors for sure,” he said.
“My turn!” Alana said, running over to us. “I don’t want to wait in line either, so I’m stealing Frank for a second.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him back the way we’d come.
“You didn’t want to ride the Ferris wheel?” I asked Diego when he and I were left standing there.
“I do not have front of the line privileges.”
“The front of the line is overrated.”
“It’s really not,” he said, and I laughed. He gestured to the row of games behind us. “Can I challenge you to a carnival game?”
I checked my phone. “Yes, I have time.” I pointed to the booth that was called Gone Fishing. Plastic fish went around a track, and the goal was to cast a magnet attached to a fishing line and catch a fish with its mouth open. “I believe you promised to take me fishing once.”
“Did I?” he asked as we walked over.
“No, but you should’ve.”
He chuckled. “Yes, I should’ve.”
We were each handed a pole when we arrived.
“Okay, master, show me the ways,” I said.
“You do realize this is nothing like—”
“Shhhh. Let me live in my delusion.”
“Okay. It’s all in the wrist.” He stepped back from the counter and demonstrated how to cast. I followed his example. “Now, I will catch a fish,” he said.
He did not catch a fish. His magnet bounced off a closed mouth and shot back toward the counter.
“Wow. That was impressive. I’m beginning to see a pattern here with you and fishing.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, and I laughed and pushed him aside. “Let me show you how it’s done.” I watched the fish along the track and timed their movements. Then I cast my line and much to my own surprise, because I hadn’t actually figured out a pattern, my magnet sailed directly into the mouth of a green fish. I threw my hands in the air with a cheer.
“You did not just do that,” Diego said.
“I totally did. I beat the fisher!”
He laughed. “You are humble in victory, aren’t you?”
The operator handed me a small stuffed fish, and we handed back our poles.
“Turns out there are plenty of fish in the sea,�
� I said, showing Diego my toy. “Who knew I just had to literally catch one?”
He bumped my shoulder with his. “You’re a dork.”
“Maybe I should teach you some techniques for next time you go out fishing. If you come by the marina, I’ll give you a lesson. I have actually fished before, you know. When I was a kid. Apparently it’s all stored up in my muscle memory.”
He shook his head but his lips were curved up into a smile he couldn’t contain. Then he stopped at a food cart and bought a stick of pink cotton candy. I snagged a piece of the puffy sugar and let it melt in my mouth.
“Now here’s something I need to learn to make,” I said as we kept walking. “You think there is some cotton candy chef out there somewhere who can teach me?”
“I’m sure.”
“Maybe when you go on your world food travels, you can send me a postcard from wherever you are when you find this person.”
Diego tilted his head to one side. “You know, I was thinking about my impractical dream the other day.”
“You can leave out the word impractical when you’re with me if you want.”
He paused for a moment, met my eyes, then nodded. “Thank you.”
“What about the dream?” I asked.
We had reached the end of the line of games and were now at the fence at the edge of the parking lot that surrounded the baseball field. He leaned up against it. “Before my grandma died, she’d want to spend time with me in the kitchen and I’d be too busy or just had no desire. I mean, I obviously spent some time there, learning, but not nearly enough. I thought I had all the time in the world.”
“Until you didn’t.”
“Exactly. And now, I feel …”
“Guilty?”
“Yes. Like I should’ve done more, learned more, soaked it all up while I had the chance. Maybe this is where this dream of mine comes from. This need to somehow replace the knowledge she would’ve given me.”
“Guilt isn’t necessarily a great reason to do something.”
“Look at you with your expert advice again.”
He’d just needed someone to listen, and I’d felt the need to put my opinion into it. “I’m sorry.”
“What? No, don’t be. I appreciate it.”
“But guilt isn’t the only reason, right? I mean, you do love it, too.”
“Absolutely.”
We started walking back the other way, slowly. “It’s not like you have to decide your entire future right now. What’s the rush?” I said.
“I’ve been told before I need to have patience.”
My eyes shot to the ground, unable to meet his. I’d told him that on the podcast. Did he know that I knew? Was he trying to give me a hint that he was the caller?
“Right …” I said. I needed to tell him. What kind of friend was I if I couldn’t tell him that I knew he’d been calling in? “About that …”
I glanced up at the Ferris wheel but couldn’t see Frank or Alana. Maybe they were at the very top, which I couldn’t see … Oh, wait, it was coming around now and, yes, those were Alana’s green Vans and blue tank top and … I gasped. As the Ferris wheel rounded the bend, I could see that Alana’s lips were very much attached to Frank’s. Not just a small peck but a full-on make-out session.
My head whipped back around to Diego, but he was looking at me, his brows furrowed, probably wondering why I gasped. It felt like everything had turned into slow motion because I could see Diego’s eyes shift, moving to look at what had caused my reaction. I grabbed his hand and tugged him around, pulling him in the opposite direction.
“Let’s play another game!”
Why had I done that? I should’ve let him see. Alana was the one who just kissed Frank. She kissed Frank! What was she thinking? Maybe that should’ve made me happy, but it only made me angry. This was going to hurt Diego. He liked her and she was going to hurt him.
Before we made it another step, Victoria appeared in front of us, a big smile on her face. “You ready to do this?”
I checked the time on my phone. “I thought we weren’t starting for another thirty minutes.”
“Ms. Lyon just wants to go over a few things with us. Talk about the ways this live recording will be different and give us some tips.”
My blood was still boiling and I knew I needed to get over this Alana thing quick so I could do the podcast. Live. “I don’t know why she’d think we need tips,” I said, trying to be sarcastic. But my voice sounded tight with anger.
Diego must’ve heard my tone because he said, “You’ll do great.”
“Thanks.”
“Come on,” Victoria said. “Bring your boy if you want. Brian is already over there.”
“Oh, he’s not my … He came with … This is Diego.”
“Hi, Diego. You’re very pretty,” Victoria said with a wink.
Diego reached out and grabbed my hand. He gave it a squeeze. “I’ll see you from the audience. Good luck.”
I started to walk away but then turned back and stepped in front of him. “Diego …”
“Yes?”
“After the podcast, I need to tell you something.”
I still needed to tell Diego that I knew he’d been calling in. I just hoped he wouldn’t be too angry.
I saw my parents standing toward the back of the already-full audience. They’d come. My nerves, which had finally kicked in as more and more people filled up the roped-off area in front of us, ramped up another degree. My mom waved. Victoria and I would start in ten minutes. I took a deep breath and waved back.
Victoria and I were sitting side by side on the makeshift stage, behind a long table set up with microphones and headphones. Ms. Lyon and a couple of kids from the production crew stood off to the side, preparing the equipment.
Alana rushed around the stage and to the backside of the table to join me, her eyes wide. I bit the insides of my cheeks. Now wasn’t the time to say anything. But Alana apparently thought now was the perfect time because she leaned close to my ear and whispered, “I need to talk to you.”
“After” was all I could say.
“Please. I need my best friend.”
I sighed and stood, walking off the back of the stage with her. She dragged me behind the row of carnival games forty feet away. It was darker and quieter. I was about to open my mouth to tell her I saw what had happened when she said, “Frank kissed me.”
I wasn’t sure what to say back. The kiss had looked very much mutual to me.
“I’m sorry,” she added.
“What? Why are you apologizing to me?” I asked. Diego was the person she needed to be talking to right now.
Her face was flushed. “Because Frank was your date tonight and I thought you liked him and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“You know I don’t like him.”
“I thought he liked you and that he was going to charm his way into your heart.”
“So you don’t like Frank?” I asked.
“I like Diego. You know that.”
“I saw you and Frank kissing. On the Ferris wheel. You were into it, Alana.”
Her mouth dropped open. “I was not into it. I was surprised! Did Diego see?”
I wished he had. “No,” I said softly. “I need to go. We can talk more about this later.”
Alana grabbed my arm before I could turn away. “Are you mad at me?”
Yes. “I don’t know.”
“So you do like Frank?”
“This has nothing to do with Frank.”
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. “It has everything to do with Frank.”
“Later, Alana.” I walked away and back to my seat.
Victoria took one look at my face and said, “You better get past whatever drama is happening in your life right now and get your head into this.” She nodded toward the crowd.
She was right. I had to try and forget about everything right now. I needed to focus.
“Kate! Kate!”
I
turned at the sound of my name. My cousin Liza was weaving her way through the standing crowd, dragging a girl and boy behind her.
“Hi,” I said with a smile.
“You remember my friend Chloe.” Liza raised her left hand, which held Chloe’s hand.
I nodded. “Yes, hi again.”
“We’re excited to listen tonight. It’s fun to see this live,” Chloe said.
Liza raised her right hand, which held the boy’s hand, and said, “And this is my friend from school, Kurt.”
“Hello,” Kurt said shyly.
“We just wanted to say hi and wish you luck,” Liza said.
“Thanks, cousin.”
“Okay, bye.” She turned. I watched as she and her friends found a spot to stand toward the center.
Victoria leaned over. “Ready?” she asked me under her breath.
“Yep.”
“Hello, Sequoia High!” she said into her microphone, and the audience cheered. “Okay, so this is how this will work. Kat and I have a podcast to record. You are our live audience.” She picked up the box full of questions that had been collected. “These are the anonymously submitted questions we’ve been gathering this week. But first dibs goes to people willing to out themselves. So if you are in the audience tonight and want to ask a question, please come up to the front and speak into the microphone right there.” She pointed to a separate microphone that had been set up for audience questions. “Are you ready to get started?” The crowd cheered again and Victoria turned to me. “What about you, Kat? Are you ready to get started?”
I swallowed all my nerves and anger and whatever else was lodged in my chest, leaned toward the mic, and said with a straight face, “Am I ever ready to start?”
The audience laughed.
“No,” Victoria said.
“But you’re going to push that record button anyway,” I said.
My cohost shot me a smile, raised her finger in the air, and lowered it dramatically down to the RECORD button.
“Hello, Oak Court, and welcome to our one—”
“And only,” I inserted.
“Recording with a live audience. We’re here at Sequoia High’s Fall Festival. Say hello, everyone.” At her prompt, the audience let out cheers and applause.
