by Ramy Vance
“Didn’t the Smuggles leave you with any kind of…instructions?”
Sandy shook her head. “Diana said they don’t use magic like the rest of Middang3ard. It’s more like ancestral magic. So, I just gotta feel it out.”
“Basically, you’re upset you can’t just read about it to figure this shit out, huh?”
Sandy smirked and shrugged as the flames lit her face. “Fuck off, it’s a lot more than that,” she said. “But, yeah, all right. You got me. Reading shit is a lot easier than having to be all touchy feeling and weird about performing magic. Like when I picked up that troll head, dude, I fucking saw shit. And, I mean, I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff over the last however long but that was something fucking new and fucking intense.”
“What was it?”
“Hard to put into words. But it was like I saw all of the troll’s life. Like every moment. In a flash. And then it was gone.”
“What exactly did you do? We saw the troll heads reacting to you.”
“Honestly, I have no idea what I did. No idea what happened. Or even why I felt so positive about everything earlier. It was weird.”
Suzuki shoved Sandy playfully, almost knocking her over. “You’ll figure it out. Plus, you were going on and on for so long about how you wanted to learn necromancy. It’s kinda like a monkey’s paw. Isn’t that a magic thing?”
“Shut up, Suz, you’re not cute,” Sandy said as she laughed. “And thanks for cheering me up.”
“No prob.”
Stew came over to Sandy and Suzuki and shoved his head in between their shoulders. He eyes Suzuki suspiciously. “Whatcha guys talking about?” Stew asked.
Sandy kissed Stew on the cheek and said, “Suzuki was just telling me how it’s perfectly normal to want to bring in a little corpse play into the tent. Just a little bit.”
Stew’s narrowed on Suzuki’s as he stood up. “Not cool, dude. Not cool,” he muttered as he backed away into the shadows. “Foods up!”
The Mundanes rose, Suzuki laughing to himself as Sandy giggled, noticeably pleased with herself. They all grabbed the small clay bowls Stew had provided and spooned chili in. The chili was hot, even by Beth’s standards. It was filled with vegetables Suzuki had never seen before, things that grew only in Middang3ard, and the meat was soft and flavorful, reminiscent of goat. The Mundanes ate in silence, thoroughly enjoying their meal.
Beth’s belch broke the silence. “What?” she asked. “I’m pretty sure in some places, that’s considered a compliment.”
As Beth and the rest of the Mundanes were finishing their food, the battle cats returned. All but one went to the Mundane who rode them, curled up, and quickly went to sleep. Azrael, Sandy’s battle cat, slowly crept toward her. It held a massive bird in its jaws and laid it at Sandy’s feet.
Sandy was elated. She grabbed the bird, which was almost her size, and held it close. “Oh, my God, thank you so much,” Sandy exclaimed as she snuggled Azrael’s face. “This is so sweet.”
Stew leaned away from Sandy, not taking his eyes off the dead bird. “You know that when cats bring you shit, it’s because they don’t think you can take care of yourself, right?”
Sandy glared at Stew before rubbing her face against Azrael’s nose again. “That is anti-cat propaganda, Stew,” she said. “Cats give you presents when they respect you, and who doesn’t like dead things?” Sandy cast her eyes against the flames, smiled, and laughed to herself. “Dead things…huh…”
The Mundanes continued to talk long into the night, the battle cats snoring through their conversation. Chip dipped into their store of ale and passed around tankards for everyone to enjoy. The night was filled with their conversation and laughter. The moon hung in the middle of the sky by the time they all retired to their tents.
Suzuki lay in his sleeping bag as Beth got herself ready for bed. He watched her cast away her armor in a fluid, effortless movement. Beth crouched and looked at it, then looked over her shoulder at Suzuki. “You’re pretty good at enchanting, right?” she asked.
Suzuki sat up and grabbed his axe. He tossed it to Beth. “Yeah, I think I’m all right,” he explained. “Still learning, though.”
Beth looked over Suzuki’s work, running her hands across the runes Suzuki had etched into the hilt. “I’ve seen it in action—really good work. I was wondering if you would take a look at my gear. The older shit, mostly the armor. Really, all of the armor. The military doesn’t get as many loot perks as you MERCs seem to. All the shit I have is just fucking terrible. But, you know, I saw the basic-ass shit you started with and how you kind of made it your own thing, and, honestly, I’m a little jealous.”
“I could teach you how to—”
“No, I mean I want you to work on my gear. Just you.”
Beth grabbed her leather chest piece and brought it over to the sleeping bag. She handed it to Suzuki. “How do you, you know… Actually, just show me.”
Suzuki took the armor from Beth as she politely looked away. He pulled up his inventory and selected the chisel he had used on his armor, which had multiple buffs, and on his axe. It felt comfortable in his hand as it materialized. “So, the first thing you need to do,” he started, “is figure out what you want to enchant an item with. What are you looking to do?”
Beth smiled coyly.
Suzuki saw now that she was flirting. Most of the time when Beth was being flirtatious, it went over his head. It was only in hindsight he figured it out.
Tonight, that was not the case.
Suzuki could see her watching each of his movements, and she had scooted closer when he had started talking about the methodology of enchanting. Usually, he would feel extremely uncomfortable in situations like this, even though he was in love with Beth. But tonight, something clicked. He wasn’t sure if it was the ale or if it was the way Beth’s hair caught the sparse light in the tent. Whatever it was, it was making a difference.
Suzuki scooted closer to Beth and laid her armor on her lap. “What do you want?” he asked.
Beth bit her lip and screwed her face up as if she were deep in thought. “Well, I guess if I’m going to roll with the whole class change, I should probably get something that helps with being a rogue or assassin. So, I have that SD card that makes me invisible, but I still have to deal with being heard. How about we do an enchantment that makes me quieter? You know I’m a little loud sometimes.”
“All right. I can work with that.”
Suzuki pulled out his notebook. It was one of the few things he didn’t store in his inventory. He liked to keep it on him, all the time. He had been journaling since he got to Middang3ard. Once he had started enchanting and doing research into magic, he had written it down in his notebook. He had collected hundreds of runes, most of them from books Sandy had given him. “All right, so let’s get started,” Suzuki said.
The leather would be easy to work with. The chisel could easily engrave the material. All he had to do was find the right rune. He knew there was something in the book that would be able to give Beth what she wanted. He had a faint memory of jotting down a rune that had to do with silence. He wasn’t sure if it was a rune about the general concept of silence or if it was more practical. It took him nearly ten minutes to find it. He wasn’t complaining, though. In the time it took him to find the reference, Beth had moved even closer, practically sitting in his lap while he was flipping through his notebook, her skin warm against his.
“Got it.”
Suzuki worked the armor, chiseling in the rune slowly, cutting into the leather, occasionally stopping to check on the progress of his work. He and Beth sat in silence as he worked. Finally, after he was satisfied with his enchantment, he handed the armor back to Beth. “That was really hot,” Beth said before she flung herself onto Suzuki, covering his lips with her own.
18
The Mundanes rose early and breakfasted, then broke down their camp and continued East. Chip let them know they weren’t too far away from the coordinates of the enemy ca
mp. It would be less than a day’s ride, especially since the battle cats were so fast. The Mundanes arrived at the camp before they even realized it.
Beth glassed the coordinates with her spyglass. She saw there was a deep groove in the ground, the earth sloping forward into something like a massive ditch. It looked as if a lot of earth had been cleared away for construction. “Guess that’s the place,” Beth said. “You guys ready to take care of this?”
Stew pointed up toward the sky at something that was approaching the facility. It looked like one of those old science-fiction flying saucers. The saucer was remarkably flat and had a dome at the top. It moved quickly and seemed to have an erratic flight path. “So, now we got UFOs to deal with as well?” Stew sighed.
Suzuki motioned for Beth to hand him the spyglass. He peered through it to get a better look at the UFO flying toward the ditch. He saw it stop in midair and suddenly descend into where the Mundanes assumed the facility was. “It looks like its dropping something off,” Suzuki thought aloud as the UFO suddenly rose back into the sky and sped off. “We should probably take our time with this one. There’s a lot of shit I don’t quite get yet. Don’t want any surprises.”
Beth nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right. It would be better not to be caught off guard.”
Chip nudged her battle cat forward, and they started toward the facility. “Oh, come on, where’s your sense of adventure?” she chided.
Suzuki and the rest of the Mundanes followed her, each of them trying to rein in their battle cats’ innate desire to run as fast as possible. “I’d rather not die again,” Suzuki said. “It’s kind of losing its novelty.”
“Fair enough, fair enough.”
The Mundanes closed in on the facility site and peered over the side of the wall erected in front of the cleared away earth. The facility was partially underground, explaining why the dirt had been cleared, but it could still be seen. Suzuki was reminded of going to the library near his home and seeing construction workers clearing out dirt and laying the foundations of a new building. It looked very similar to the state this facility was in.
There was a sound like a whirring buzz saw from above. Suzuki looked up and saw another UFO approaching at a ludicrous speed. The UFO flew straight above the facility and then stopped. After a few seconds, it lowered itself down into something that looked like a docking bay. It remained there for a few moments before rising up and jetting out of sight. “Looks like they’re transporting something,” Suzuki mused aloud. “They aren’t staying for very long, but they’re making routine drops. Maybe those are just transportation rigs or delivery drivers. What the hell would they need delivery drivers for?”
Chip pointed up at the sky as another UFO flew by. Her finger morphed into what looked to be a satellite dish. The dish spun as Chip tracked the saucer. As it rose and flew again, Chip continued to follow it. “This might shed a little light on our dark plight,” Chip offered. “Quick scan shows that the UFO is empty of life, except for one of our little friends.”
“So, it's automated? Like a remote-controlled delivery driver?”
“Not even the best part. Remote-controlled single angel delivery driver is the best part.”
“Only one?”
“Yeah, but you saw how quickly the second craft came by. Maybe it’s nonstop.”
Suzuki crouched and passed the spyglass back to Beth. He really wasn’t looking forward to stepping into another facility like the one he’d lost his life in. All the Zen thoughts he had earlier about coming to grips with death and danger were gone. They were replaced with something very akin to tiredness. This was going to be an experience, but this time, they had a better idea of what they were up against. Still, they could have an even better idea.
Diana knelt beside Suzuki. “What are you thinking?”
“Last time we walked into a shitty situation because we didn’t know what we were up against. That wasn’t our fault. José didn’t or couldn’t give us any information. Now we have a little bit more. We should keep from making the same mistake. I say we make camp for the day. Do some recon. Then we’ll move in on the facility. How’s that sound?”
Sandy was the only person who had a problem with the plan. “How exactly are we going to do recon?” she asked. “Send someone in there? I know we’ve used the whole magical cloaking spell thing before, but that was never someone just by themselves. And that place looks too small to have a couple of us sleuthing around.”
Suzuki pointed up to the sky. “First, we need to figure out how many of these things are being shipped. We won’t be able to get an exact number, but I’d like to know if we’re up against something that gets delivered every fifteen minutes like a bus schedule. Secondly, call it a hunch, but I’m thinking if these angels are so dangerous they can’t be transported in groups, there’s a good chance they’re too dangerous for anyone to be working around. I mean, they killed everyone at the last facility. Maybe the Dark One’s learned from his mistake, and the facility is automated as well. Or it could just be a holding pen. Either way, I’ll be the one to go check it out. I don’t want to put anyone at risk. Besides, I have that alien upgrade.”
Beth shook her head and chuckled. “You literally just promised me you weren’t going to do something stupid and get yourself killed, and now you’re talking about this? Suzy, you’re supposed to be a good tactician, remember? And here you are forgetting the obvious choice. I’m the one with the new invisibility SD card. And you just enchanted my armor last night to make me more silent. If anyone is going, it should be me.”
“Beth, it’s really fucking dangerous. You saw how those things are.”
“Yeah, I know it’s really fucking dangerous, I’m not an idiot. That’s why it makes more sense to have someone go who has a chance of actually making it out alive. I know you love me and are probably just looking out for me and all, but you need to remember we’re here on a job. We are all going to be taking risks. Don’t jeopardize the fate of the party because of me. You’re better than that.”
An awkward silence settled over the Mundanes as Suzuki mulled over what Beth said. She was right. He hadn’t really thought about it, but she was right. If he tried, he could probably remember a couple of situations where he had put Beth’s safety over everyone else’s, and here he was getting called out in front of everyone. It was fucking humiliating, but it needed to happen. There was no need for it to be a secret conversation. If Suzuki was going to be making calls that could end up with someone dead, every conversation needed to be in an open forum. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes Chip and Diana had by trying to protect everyone by withholding information for a more appropriate time. Beth’s method was harsh, brutal, and quick. Just like her. And it worked.
Finally, Suzuki cleared his throat and conceded, “You’re right, I didn't think that through. You’re the one going in. We’ll maintain contact through our familiars, and I want you to do a quick, thorough sweep. Use your HUD to take pictures, and we’ll meet back up here. No longer than two hours, okay? If you get in a compromised situation, you radio us immediately. Understood?”
Beth saluted Suzuki and gave him her mischievous, playful smirk. “Yes, sir! When am I shipping out?”
“Immediately. Good luck.”
“Thanks, Suzy. Love you.”
Beth went over to where the earth sloped forward and pulled out her daggers. She jumped off the cliff, throwing her daggers upward so that they connected with the rock and tethered her to the side of the cliff as she lowered herself down, shimmering out of sight. Goddamn, she is beautiful, Suzuki thought.
Stew shoved Suzuki, almost knocking him over. “Earth to Suzuki,” Stew teased. “What are the rest of us supposed to do?”
Suzuki managed to regain his balance. “You are on UFO duty.”
“Are you fucking serious? Beth gets to go be all badass, and I have to pull some X-files shit?”
“Stew, being quiet isn’t your strong suit. But counting is.”
Stew crossed his arms, pouting like a child as he accepted the role he was going to play. “Guess that’s number one right there.” He sat down in the grass and pointed at one of the crafts that flew overhead.
“That’s what I’m talking about Stew. You count those UFOs.”
“I fucking hate you.”
“The truth is out there.”
“I hate you so much.”
The rest of the Mundanes got to making their stakeout more comfortable. Chip, Sandy, and Suzuki built a fire while Stew continued to keep track of the number of crafts coming and going. While the fire was being built, Diana went about the task of cooking. She built a meal off the dried jerky they had and disappeared to search for herbs. After some time, she returned, her hands full of tons of native vegetation from the island. She used these to garnish and flavor the jerky and they all sat around the fire afterward next to Stew, counting the ships that passed, snacking on the flavorful and sour strips of meat.
Beth continued to stay in contact with Suzuki. She reported in every ten minutes or so. It dawned on Suzuki one of the other reasons Beth was obviously the right choice for scouting was she obviously had experience from her time in the military. He really appreciated the routine and systematic way she held herself during quests. It was something he wished Stew would pick up on. It was doubtful, though. The most it seemed Stew had grown was when he was infected by a mood-altering leech.
Beth’s reports were straightforward, and she didn’t waste any time going into details that weren’t important. The facility didn’t seem to have anyone in it other than angels, which were kept behind glass windows. The angels didn’t seem to take any notice of her. That might mean there was a chance their only mode of hunting was eyesight. From what Beth could tell, the craft was dropping the angels off directly into the glass rooms. She still couldn’t find a reason for why they were being stored, but there were hundreds of them—a small army.
