by Ramy Vance
While Stew and Suzuki butchered the chimera, Sandy and Beth went back over to the fire as Chip and Diana came out of their tents. “What’s with all the noise and warlike sounds?” Chip yawned.
Sandy laughed as she watched Diana stumble around, still obviously mostly asleep. “Did you guys really not hear any of that?” Sandy asked.
“I mean, there were noises, and I knew there were noises. That’s as close to an answer of gross negligence as you’re gonna get from me. I was also having a talk, though. Myrddin finally got back to us, and we got a problem.”
Suzuki, covered in chimera guts, came over and sat next to the fire. “I fucking hate meat,” he grumbled. “And what’s the problem?”
“Myrddin has intel that says another facility on the island is getting a delivery. Giants. The Dark One is going to see what happens when one of those angels pops out of them.”
“Guess we’re stopping it?”
“Yeppers. First thing in the morning. Next time something needs killing, y’all can wake us up. Maybe not Diana. She’s kinda on the heavy side.”
Diana was still looking around as if she were lost, murmuring to herself.
“It’s okay, Dee, you can go back to sleep,” Chip said as she walked Diana back to their tent.
Sandy laid down next to the fire and yawned. “You guys just wanna crash out here? It’s a nice night and we’ll be prepared if anything else comes for us?”
Suzuki flopped down on the ground. “That sounds like a great idea,” he said. He was asleep within seconds.
19
The Mundanes rose before the sun began to make its way over the horizon. Beth and Suzuki spent the morning listening to Stew and Sandy bicker over whether or not Sandy should just rock the bone bikini or invest in something that would accommodate her new powers. Chip and Diana talked quietly over their meal, quickly cleaning up their plates and stomping out the fire when they were done.
Diana stepped forward and cleared her throat. “There’s been a change of plans,” Diana explained. “Chip and I were emailed this morning about a second convoy on the other side of the island. We’re going to have to split up for this one. The convoy we’re going after isn’t too far from you and isn’t as large. We should be able to take care of it and then meet up with you at the angel facility without a problem. At most, this will just be a slight delay.”
Beth threw her arms up and pretended she was dismayed. “Who’s going to be the unflinching voice of reason for us, though?” she kidded.
“I’ll be back soon enough to suck the fun out of your quests. And trust me, you don’t want Chip on this mission with you.”
“Why not?”
Diana turned to Chip and asked, “Do you still have the footage?”
Chip smiled and rubbed her hands together like a child finally getting to perform a prank they’ve been dreaming up. She waved her hand and digital screen appeared in front of her, projecting from her eyes. “There are certain kinds of missions Chip tends to…get carried away with,” Diana said.
The video started. There was a small convoy of bandits on horses. It was hard to see what they were transporting, but it didn’t matter. Within a few seconds of the video playing, Chip came barreling through the horses, riding an elephant. The last shot of the video was Chip’s bright smile as she fired arrows into the bandits. “Where the hell did you get an elephant?” Stew asked, amazed.
“Trade secrets. Nothing like a good chase to get your heart a-pumping. Almost makes one a little, shall I say, interested between the legs if you get my drift, you filthy perverts. But I remind you to do as I say and not as I do. Even I got in trouble for that one. So, remember. Your little quest ain’t just kill the baddies. The giants are free of the Dark One’s control. Make sure you play nice with them. Any questions?”
“Elephant. How?” Stew repeated.
“Hush. I’ll send you guys the coordinates. Be safe enough. Lates.”
Chip and Diana mounted their battle cats and waved goodbye. Suzuki wondered in the back of his mind whether or not Chip and Diana had stayed inside during the fight to see if the younger Mundanes could handle themselves without the vets. He doubted it. The former Horsemen already had a large amount of respect for the Mundanes. He was probably just being insecure.
Stew was packing up the rest of the cooking supplies. “I can’t believe she got a fucking elephant. Even if she’s a little off her rocker, Chip is fucking cool,” Stew said. “I wish I had that kind of knack for destruction. She’s like you, Sandy, just not as creepy.”
Sandy was playing with her necromantic powers a little bit by stretching her finger bone out of her skin and then pulling it out. “Oh, babe, you think I’m creepy? That’s so sweet,” she said, smiling.
Stew grimaced but still smiled. “Dude, you are hella creepy. Anyways, you guys ready to get started? I’ve never stopped a convoy before, not even in-game. Sounds kinda like a Wild, Wild West type of thing.”
Beth laughed as she gave Stew a hand getting everything packed up. “Really? It just reeks of military for me,” she said. “We used to stop convoys all the time. You know, an army has to eat. One of the easiest ways to force someone out of a spot they’re holed up in is to take out their food supply. The Dark One’s forces still need to eat and we used to regularly take out their food convoys. Glad Myrddin has the foresight to stop those giants from getting to the Dark One’s research facility. Can you imagine giant angels? No fucking thank you.”
The Mundanes tore down the rest of the camp and mounted their battle cats. Suzuki looked up the coordinates through his HUD. They still had a pretty hefty trek ahead of them. The coordinates Chip had sent also allowed him to look and see how far the convoy was from the research facility. As long as they didn’t get distracted by anything along the way, the Mundanes would easily overtake the convoy before it was anywhere near the facility.
It was a good thing Myrddin had gotten in contact with the Mundanes. Suzuki was starting to lose faith in the old man. He didn’t seem to have as strong a grasp on how the war with the Dark One was going, or he was overwhelmed with trying to keep the fight going. Either way, it was good to see that Myrddin was still invested in the fight.
The Mundanes took off toward the convoy as Suzuki let his mind wander. Beth and Stew took the lead. He was still trying to wrap his head around what it meant for the Dark One to be trying to convert all living beings to himself. It was a level of tyranny Suzuki thought might never have existed before. True, atrocities had happened throughout history, but there was something special about this—unprecedented extreme megalomania. And that ego was now part of Suzuki’s genetic material.
The battle cats were running flat-out, and the wind whipped past Suzuki as they crested the hill. He checked his HUD to see how far they were from the convoy, to find that they’d be intercepting them in a little under twenty minutes. “Beth, we need to find a place where we can get a good vantage point,” Suzuki shouted.
Beth pulled out her spyglass and surveyed the area. She pointed ahead a few clicks, a little out of the way from where the convoy was going. “Those hills!” she said. “We can head over there and get a better idea of what’s going on.”
Stew laughed as he spurred his battle cat forward, leaping ahead of the rest of the Mundanes. “Dude, this is so sick. It is going to be so Wild West. Call me Wyatt!”
“No, Stew. I am not going to call you Wyatt, or any other stupid-ass name you come up with.”
“What about ‘the lieutenant?’”
“Why the hell would you think I would call you that?”
“I don’t know. Might as well give it a try.”
The Mundanes raced toward the hill. It didn’t take long before they were atop it, looking down the valley, Beth searching for the convey through the spyglass. “All right, got them,” Beth said, pointing ahead and handing the spyglass to Suzuki.
Suzuki looked through the glass and saw the convoy. It was mostly orcs riding horses, but there was somethi
ng that looked like a tank. The body of the vehicle was steel and shaped like a truck, but there was a cannon attached to it. That surprised Suzuki. Outside of tech at the Dark One’s defense rings, Suzuki hadn’t seen anything that looked like modern technology, but it really didn’t matter. He was just glad the tank wasn’t as sophisticated as some of the stuff he’d seen in the defense rings. That would have been a lot more trouble than he wanted to deal with.
The spyglass was passed to Stew and Sandy as well so they could see what they were up against. “Is that a fucking tank?” Stew asked.
Suzuki nodded as he took the spyglass back and handed it to Beth. “Yeah, that’s what it looks like.”
“So, what’s the plan, dude?”
Suzuki thought it over for a few seconds. He was going to have to figure out what they were going to do fast before they lost the upper hand. If the convoy got too far, they would be stuck chasing it down, and that would put them in a shit situation. “All right,” Suzuki said, thinking aloud, “that tank changes things. We don’t know how much firepower it has, but it’s being used to transport the giants, so there’s a good chance they’re not going to want to use it in combat. I say we ride straight into them and cut them off. They won’t see it coming, and by the time they try to change routes, we’ll be too close and won’t have much of a fight on our hands. Stew and Sandy, that tank is your responsibility. I want you to take it down, make sure it’s out of the fight, and then come join up with us. That sound doable?”
Sandy and Stew nodded in unison. “Yeah, we can take it down,” Stew said.
Suzuki turned to Beth. “You’re nimbler than I am. I’m going to need you to deal with the majority of the orcs. I’ll be there to back you up, but I think you’re going to be the one doing the most damage. Reasonable?”
Beth turned one of her daggers and flipped it in the air before catching it. “Suzy, that’s not so much a plan as you saying something obvious,” she teased.
“Yeah, well, I just wanted you to know.”
“Oh, trust me, I know how good I am.”
“All right, Mundanes. Let’s go free us some giants.”
20
The Mundanes took off over the edge of the cliff toward the convoy, the battle cats racing along the open plain. It would not take long for the Mundanes to overtake their prey. Still, Suzuki did not want to congratulate himself too quickly. Just because they looked like they were evenly matched with the orcs ahead, didn’t make it true. These were the Dark One’s forces. Anything could, and often did, happen.
They cut across the plain in a horizontal fashion, heading to cut off the convoy a few feet ahead of their destination, hopefully forcing the convoy to change direction and lose speed. The Mundanes split apart as they got closer.
Beth glassed the formation and pointed ahead, signaling to Suzuki she was ready to press in closer to attack. Behind Suzuki, Sandy and Stew were changing course to head straight for the tank.
Suzuki sped up. In a few moments, they would be coming over another hill, and either the tank or orcs would be within striking distance. Suzuki felt his guts up in his heart. He’d been in fights before but very few fights while riding. And even then, most of the fights had been trying to flee and avoid combat. This was the first time he’d be leading a strike on the offense. It was more than a little nerve-wracking, and he tried to control his breathing so his nervousness wouldn’t get the best of him. He drew his axe and shakily stood atop his battle cat as they crested the hill.
The orcs were moving at a steady, fast speed. Their horses were huge, their nostrils flaring as if they could have snorted flames. The orcs were larger than most of the orcs Suzuki had seen. Their bodies were covered in a variety of tribal tattoos. They must have all been tribe leaders. The orcs moved along with the tank in the back with the efficiency of a machine. They hadn’t taken any notice of the Mundanes.
In the back of his head, Suzuki couldn’t help but feel bad for what he was about to do. The longer the Mundanes had been fighting the Dark One, the harder it was getting to do their job, every few weeks finding out just how little control any of the Dark One’s forces actually had. These orcs didn’t want to kill the Mundanes. They didn’t want to be taking over the realm. But here they were, not even aware they no longer had a will.
Beth rode up to Suzuki’s side. “Are you ready to do this?” Beth asked.
Suzuki motioned for the spyglass and glassed behind the tank to see if Sandy and Stew had gotten into position. Stew raised his hand to signal to Suzuki he was ready. “Yeah, let’s do this,” Suzuki finally said. He and Beth sped up, heading for the front of the convoy. As they closed in, Beth pulled off her short bow, got to her feet, and took aim. She fired a shot. The arrow landed in the head of the orc in the lead. Suzuki took aim with his axe as well and sent it flying at the next orc. The axe hit him in the arm and sent him flying off his horse. Suzuki recalled his axe.
Beth grabbed the fur of her battle cat and kicked it in the sides. “Come on, we have to close the gap!” she shouted.
The two sped toward the convoy as the orcs snapped the reins of their steeds and increased their speed, the horses’ hooves digging into the ground. The orcs leaned over, their muscles twitching together with those of their horses as they turned their course to the right, attempting to put distance between the two Mundanes coming up on them from the side.
Suzuki noted the orcs didn’t turn to fight. That wasn’t common for orcs, especially orcs under the Dark One’s control. Getting the giants to their destination was obviously the priority, and a big enough one for the orcs to try to avoid a fight. Suzuki was curious to know what was going to happen if Sandy and Stew were able to get the tank away from the rest of the convoy. That might be enough to get the convoy to stop completely. Then they could have a stand-up fight and see if they were strong enough to best a group nearly three times their size.
Sandy and Stew were working on getting the tank separated from the rest of the convoy. It looked as if they were still trying to figure out the best way to stop the tank. Stew obviously was strong enough to tip the thing over, but he was at a disadvantage due to being restricted to his battle cat. He and Sandy still hadn’t gotten close enough for him to get his hands on the tank, and it would be damn near impossible if they were still moving.
Usually Sandy would have called down lightning or hit the tank with a fireball, but that was out of the question now. She was noticeably frustrated, trying to figure out how she could stop the tank. There was the option of her recently realized bone-based attacks, but none of that seemed strong enough to take out the tank.
The tank didn’t have any visible signs of entry other than the cannon, but it would be an obvious mistake to try to climb down the barrel of what was in essence a huge gun.
Suzuki and Beth raced after the head of the convey, which had managed to change their course to the right. They were moving at roughly the same speed as the Mundanes’ battle cats. This was going to be fight of attrition. If the orcs lost enough of their riders, there would be a good chance they would risk a fight. Or the horses, Suzuki thought.
Suzuki turned to Beth and shouted, “Take out the horses!”
Beth took aim with her short bow and let loose shot after shot, her arrows hitting the legs of one of the horses toward the back of the convoy, the horse’s legs going out from beneath it before pitching it forward, and tossing its rider. The rider’s face slammed into the ground, and he slid across the grass, dead.
As Beth prepared to take aim again, one of the orcs turned in his seat with a plasma rifle in his hand. He fired and a large bolt of burning hot plasma arched over the plains, scorching the grass beneath it, heading straight for Suzuki and Beth.
Suzuki and Beth broke apart, Suzuki going to the right and Beth going to the left. The bolt of plasma ripped up the ground they had stood on. “We gotta close the distance!” Suzuki shouted. “We can’t compete with that kind of firepower. Get in close and do it fast.”
Both Suzuki and Beth grabbed their battle cats’ fur and kicked them in the sides. The cats were fast, and they could go faster still.
Ahead, the orc who fired the rifle took aim and fired again.
The bolt of plasma came straight for Suzuki. There was enough distance that Suzuki was able to dodge the attack.
That was going to be the risk.
If they remained at a distance, they would have space to maneuver around the attacks, but that would reduce them to sitting ducks. If Suzuki and Beth got closer to the convoy, it would make it easier for them to launch their own offense, but the tradeoff would be they would have much less room to maneuver away from the orc’s superior firepower.
Stew and Sandy were still trying to close the gap between them and the tank. Stew turned to Sandy and asked, “Okay, so do we got anything?”
Sandy’s forehead was still screwed up as she tried to figure out how she was going to get Stew and her closer. Then something clicked. She pointed her arm, reaching out toward the orc who lay dead beside its horse. Her eyes turned black and her skin paled as a row of bones protruded from her spine.
The dead orc rose slowly, picking itself up off the ground and reaching down to grab its axe as its horse rose beside him, their eyes white in death. The orc climbed onto the dead horse, and they took off toward the tank.
Sandy wasn’t done yet. She grabbed one of the longer bones coming from her spine and pulled it out, screaming in pain as she ripped it from her skin and sending a trail of blood flying after her. She reached for another and ripped it out, then slammed the two pieces together, fusing them into an even longer bone, almost like a vaulting pole. She took the sharper ends and thrust it into her palm, the bone growing over her hands and fusing to her, protruding and running up her arm, then clasping down and reinforcing her strength. “Get hard, Stew,” Sandy shouted.
Stew’s body started to bulge as his muscles swelled and he grew. Sandy waved her bone pole in front of Stew, kicking her battle cat to increase its speed and catch up to the tank. Stew took hold of the pole and Sandy leaned back, and with all her strength, aided by Stew jumping in the same direction, swung Stew into the side of the tank. Stew tucked his body as well as he could, effectively becoming a giant wrecking ball. The bones along Sandy’s arms started to crack and she screamed in pain, but the bone pole held, and Stew slammed into the side of the tank.
