“No, no,” I say, clutching it tight against my breast. “It’s fine.”
“It’s better than silence,” he says.
“What’s on it?”
“None of that rap or princess pop you city kids are used to,” he smiles, “but put it on shuffle and you should find something you like.”
“Tobias…” I twist my voice back into my awful southern impression. “Did you make me a mix tape?”
“I have to run,” he says, rolling his eyes. He shoves the key in and starts the motorbike. “Don’t let my dad see that.”
“Oh, Tobias! You’re so keen!” He revs the engine loudly to cover my voice. I drop the accent. “Tobias!” The engine falls back down to a dull rumble and he glances back at me. “Thank you,” I tell him.
“You’re welcome, Claire.” He slides the helmet over his head.
I take a step back and let him ride away. Gravel kicks up behind him, creating a white cloud of dust that follows him all the way down to the highway. I glance back at the house, suddenly feeling like I’m holding a nuclear bomb in my hands. I stuff the player in my jeans pocket as I quickly scan the house to make sure Charlie isn’t watching.
***
“Claire—”
I look up from my book. “What?” I ask.
Charlie stands in the kitchen doorway with the telephone against his ear. “It’s for you,” he says as he points it at me.
I set my book down on the table and stand up from my seat. “I get phone calls now?” I ask as I step closer.
“It’s your mother.”
“Oh.” I pause my stride. “Can you take a message? Tell her I’m out or something.”
Charlie furrows his brow and shoves the phone in my direction. “You don’t go out.”
I hold out my hand and reluctantly take the phone from him. As badly as I’d like to get out of this place, talking to my mother isn’t something I’ve longed to do since she abandoned me here. The long cable bounces around as I bring the old phone to my ear. “Hello?” I mutter.
“Claire, honey…” My mother speaks with a low voice, just above a whisper, almost as if she’s hiding in a closet. “How are you?”
“I’m alive,” I say, offering nothing more.
“Well…” she chuckles slightly. “I know that.”
“What do you want, Mom?” I catch Charlie watching me, so I step away, but I can’t get too far from him with a land line phone.
“I just wanted to know how my daughter is doing,” she says. “Is that so crazy?”
“I haven’t heard from you in two weeks…”
She’s quiet for a moment. “Your stepfather thought it’d be a good idea to give you some space—”
“Because he’s just so full of good ideas, right?” I bite.
“Claire—”
“Please don’t call here again, Mom. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Honey, please—”
“No,” I say. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? The bad seed is finally out of your hair.”
“That’s not true, Claire. I want what’s best for you. I want to keep you safe.”
I scoff. “I have to go. Charlie has another menial task for me to do.” I hold out the phone and drop it into Charlie’s extended hand. He stares at me for a moment before turning around and hanging it up.
“Menial?” he asks.
I drag my feet back across the room to the table. “Yeah, like a servant,” I explain.
“I know what it means,” he says. “I’m just surprised you do.”
I glare up at him. “Well, I’ve had plenty of time to read since I got here.”
“I’ve noticed.” He walks over to the table and sits down in the chair across from me. “Claire, nothing I have you doing here is menial.”
“I know,” I say. I pick up my book again. “Patience, responsibility. Work, reward. All that.”
“Why are you here?”
“What?” I ask.
“Why are you here?” he repeats.
“I’m here because my stepfather’s a dick.”
He chuckles. “My brother is many things, but this isn’t his fault. Watch your language and think again. Why are you here?”
I sit back in my seat. “Because the cop that picked me up knew him.”
“Getting warmer.” Charlie taps a finger on the table between us. “Why are you here?”
My eyes fall to my hands. “Because,” I sigh, “I screwed up.”
“That’s reason number one,” he says.
“And reason number two?”
“Well, there’s a banana peel out there somewhere that needs to be held accountable for a few things and you’re staying put until it does.” I stay silent. “Once we start taking responsibility for our actions, we can start fixing our mistakes. The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be, Mary.”
“My name is Claire,” I say with confusion.
He pauses and sits back. “Right, sorry,” he says quickly.
“Who’s Mary?” I ask.
He brushes a hand through the air, avoiding my eyes. “It’s not important.”
I lean forward, hating the awkward silence that’s fallen between us. “How many people have you helped?” I ask him, changing my tone. “People like me.”
He shrugs and reaches for his coffee mug. “More than I can count, over the years.”
“Where are they now?”
“Most are fine,” he answers. “They’re clean, living normal lives somewhere.”
“And the others?”
He pauses. “The others… not so much. Claire, you might feel angry with your mother right now, but that’s going to pass.”
“Doubt it,” I mutter.
“It will,” he argues. “And when it does, you’re gonna want to make amends and do it quick. Believe me when I tell you that the worst feeling in the world is not getting to say what you need to say to someone you care about before it’s too late.”
I fall silent as the words sink into my skin. Charlie’s obviously been through a lot, far more than I have. It’s probably not wise to argue against him, no matter how pissed off I am at my mother.
“How are you feeling lately?” he asks.
I cross my arms. “I still have trouble sleeping.”
“Do you think about using again?”
“Sometimes,” I answer. “But not as much as before. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to — unless I wanted to snort sugar or something.”
His lips twitch. “Well, hold onto that thought. The urges will pass eventually. You just have to channel them into something more productive until you don’t want it at all anymore.”
“Like what?” I ask.
The front door opens and I hear Tobias’ boots enter the hall. I look up as he walks into the kitchen. He pauses, refusing to enter the doorway once he sees me sitting at the table.
“Like your chores,” Charlie answers. “Preferably.” He stands up and steps over to Tobias in the doorway. “Any changes?” he asks him.
Tobias shakes his head, his eyes briefly landing on mine.
“Well,” Charlie mutters. “Maybe next time.” He turns back to me. “How about we get the horses saddled up? Go for a ride.”
“Seriously?” I ask through a jolt of excitement.
“Why not? Still a bit of daylight left.” He looks at Tobias. “Wanna join us?”
Tobias hesitates. “I don’t want to intrude…”
“You’re not,” Charlie says. “And you’re the only one that devil horse will tolerate.” He steps around Tobias to leave room and Tobias’ eyes fall on me again.
Channel my urges into something more productive.
Easier said than done.
***
I grip the saddle and pull myself up with Charlie’s help. The brown horse, Leo, bucks beneath me and my stomach lurches as I dig my nails into the hard leather saddle.
“Shh, boy,” Tobias whispers into Leo’s ear. He gently strokes his head and the horse calms a
bit.
Charlie shakes his head. “Most temperamental horse I’ve ever seen,” he mutters.
“He just doesn’t like you,” Tobias jokes. “I’ve never had a problem with him.”
Charlie pulls himself up into Orion’s saddle. “Claire,” he says, looking at me, “you ever ridden before?”
I shake my head quickly. “No.” The horse bucks a little beneath me at the sound of my voice.
“Hmm… maybe I should take that one,” Charlie muses.
“I got him,” Tobias says, gripping Leo’s reins. “I’ll walk with them for a bit. See if I can calm him down. Besides, he’ll just kick you off. He really doesn’t like you.”
Charlie eyes the two of us for a moment before nodding. “All right,” he says. “Try and keep up.”
“Come on, Leo,” Tobias says, tugging the reins. He starts walking us towards the fields as Charlie takes Orion ahead. “Breathe, Claire.”
“What?” I squeak.
“You’re holding your breath,” he laughs.
“Oh.” I let the air out of my lungs. “I’m just a little…”
“Scared?”
“Terrified. It’s not every day there’s a powerful, unpredictable animal between my legs.”
He glances up at me and smiles. “Just hold on,” he says. “He won’t run off with me holding him like this. Try and relax. If you’re tense, he’s tense.”
“Okay…” I take a deep breath and let it wash through my body to release all my locked joints and muscles. We continue walking. Every few yards, Leo lurches slightly, but Tobias easily calms him down with the touch of his hand. “Tobias the Horse Whisperer,” I chuckle.
“Eh, animals are easy,” he says. “Humans are far more dangerous.”
I lick my lips and look around to locate Charlie. He’s far ahead of us, just outside of earshot distance. “So, when is your next fight?”
Tobias hesitates, his eyes darting in Charlie’s direction. “Tonight,” he answers.
I raise an eyebrow. “Can I come?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“It’s too dangerous, Claire.”
“I can take care of myself,” I say.
“I don’t mean for you.”
I pause. “What do you mean?”
He sighs and brushes his fingers along Leo’s neck. “I can’t have distractions,” he mutters.
“I’m distracting?” I ask.
“Yes.” He stops and looks up at me. “Claire, promise me you won’t be there.” His eyes, as intense and wild as this horse, stare up at me in desperation. He says nothing more about it, but he doesn’t need to. I realize that the reason he doesn’t want me around isn’t because he despises my company at all. It’s because he likes it.
“Okay.” My lips quiver. “I won’t be there.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Tobias nods. “Slide back.” He reaches up and grabs the front of the saddle. I push back to make room for him as he pulls himself up. “Hold onto me.”
I lay my trembling hands on his waist.
“Tighter,” he says, pivoting back to pull my wrists around his body. “Don’t even think about letting go—”
“Tobias, what are you doing?”
“Don’t panic, Claire.”
“Tobias—!”
He digs his ankle in Leo’s side, sending the horse into a fierce sprint. I scream and bury my face in his back as terror overwhelms me. My fingers interlock in front of him and I bind myself to his body as the gallop tosses us up and down in the saddle.
The initial shock bleeds from my system and I open my eyes to peak over Tobias’ shoulder. He’s led the horse out into the open fields. The sight steals the breath from my lungs as I scan this new world with wide eyes. I look over my shoulder to see Charlie riding behind us on the horizon, but he’s not going fast enough to keep up with us. Laughter attacks my chest and I hold Tobias a little tighter.
“You okay back there?” he shouts.
“I hate you so much…”
He laughs and urges Leo to bolt a little faster.
We circle back around and I watch the sun slowly falling down, casting the open world into a deep orange glow. I lay my head against him and listen to his heart thump with quick and steady beats as we ride back towards the farm.
“Whoa—”
Tobias pulls slowly on the reins, signaling for Leo to slow down. I raise my head to find that we’ve already made it to the stables.
Charlie lingers on the black horse, his face stern as ever as we draw near. “And just what was that?” he asks, staring daggers at Tobias.
“He got antsy,” Tobias answers. “Needed a good run.”
“Claire, you look like you’re about to hurl,” Charlie notes. “You all right?”
“Nah,” Tobias says. He looks back at me. “See? She’s fine.”
I catch my breath. “Let’s go again,” I joke. Tobias pats my hands and I release him to feel my fingers have gone stiff from holding onto him too tightly.
“Let’s not,” Charlie says with a soft chuckle and dismounts his horse. “Go ahead and get inside, Claire. Dinner’s in twenty.” He yanks on the reins and starts to lead Orion inside the stables.
Tobias throws a leg over and hops off our horse. I smile at him, lamenting how he makes it looks so easy while I sit here, temporarily unable to remember how to move. He spins around and extends his arms out to me to help me down. I move to sit side-saddle and slowly slide towards him. His hands glide up my body, holding me steady as if I weighed nothing at all. My feet find the ground, but my knees quickly buckle beneath me.
“Whoa—” he whispers, keeping a firm grip on me to keep me standing.
“Sorry,” I say, forcing a laugh. “Never ridden before…”
He smiles. “You’ll be all right.”
I look up at him and I suddenly realize how close we are. Our lips sit just inches apart. His breath grazes my cheeks. I bite my tongue in a futile attempt to distract myself from the beauty in his green eyes.
“Claire…” he says my name, his voice low.
“Yeah?”
“Promise me again.”
I force my feet flat against the earth to stand on my own. “I promise, Tobias,” I say. “I won’t be there.”
His hands drop and he steps away from me.
Chapter 8
Get The Blood Off
I keep my promises.
I lay here now, staring at the ceiling above my bed, wishing that I didn’t. Part of me wants to run downstairs, grab Charlie’s keys, and take off into town. Damn the consequences. I don’t care how angry Tobias will be. I don’t care what Charlie will do if he finds out. None of that matters right now.
I can’t stop thinking about those fights. Tobias is strong — mighty, even. He took the Brute down so fast, no one was even sure what happened until it was already done. Even the Menace couldn’t take him down and the odds were stacked against him. I’ve never known a man like Tobias before and I want to know more of him. Even if it feels like a betrayal to the man I thought I wanted before.
I slide the volume up a little louder and let Tobias’ music drown out the thoughts in my head. It’s a surprising mix of 80’s glam rock and classic country hits. The more I listen to it, the more I feel like I understand a little bit more about Tobias the Untouchable.
Light scans the corners of my vision. I jolt out of bed and look out the window to see Tobias’ bike riding up the driveway. A smile touches my lips. I pull the headphones off my ears. He rolls to a stop in front of the barn and my smile slowly falls.
He’s hurt.
Tobias clutches his side. He just barely makes it off the bike before he tumbles to the ground outside the barn. My heart stops in my chest, but I force myself to take action. I grab my shoes, slip them on, and bolt out of my room. My feet creak the stairs, but I don’t care. There’s only one thought on my mind, the only driving force I have, and that’s him.
“Get back—!”
I pull away from him, too scared to touch him. He’s wearing his jacket, so I can’t see what damage has been done. “Let me help you…” I beg. He pauses and looks up at me. Once again, his face is clean of marks or bruises, but my eyes quickly fall to the purple and red mark along his neck. “What did they do to you?” I ask, scanning his bloodshot eyes.
“Help me push this…” He grips one handlebar and waits for me to swing around the bike and take the other.
We push the bike into the barn together and let it tip against the wall. Tobias turns around and sits backward to lean against a hay bale in the corner. I push the barn door closed before returning to him.
“Tobias…”
He’s breathing hard, struggling to sit up. “I’m fine…”
“You’re not fine,” I argue. I turn back to the door. “I’m gonna get Charlie—”
“No!” he hisses, stopping me in my tracks. “Claire, don’t.”
“You need a hospital,” I cry.
“No, I don’t. I just…” He pauses and reaches out to me. “I just need you to sit with me for a bit.”
I keep on my toes, still eager to run for help. “But…”
“Claire, please…”
Tears sting my eyes, but I do as he asks. I walk over to him and sit down on the ground beside him. “I don’t know what to do, Tobias,” I mutter.
“Trust me,” he smiles. “I’ve had worse.”
“What happened?” I ask again.
He hesitates for a moment before pushing his jacket aside and raising his shirt. I gasp, covering my mouth, as he shows me the deep red markings along his side. “Got paired up with that guy from Springfield.”
“The Devil guy?”
He nods. “He got in a few cheap shots,” he says. “Knocked me down and beat on me before putting me in a headlock.”
“Did you lose the fight?” I ask.
His eyes drop and he shakes his head.
“How the hell did you get out of a headlock?” I lean forward, raise the shirt to look again, and I see the red splatter staining his inked abdomen. “Is this blood?”
“Yeah,” he says, “but it’s not mine.”
Love and Wargames: A Bad Boy Hacker Romance Page 25
