“I’d like you to go out with me,” Cody said. It all came out in a rush. Even he looked surprised as he said it, a dazed look in his eye. He shut his mouth and frowned, glancing away.
Oh no...
“I can’t,” she said. “I-I’d like to but-”
“No no no.” He waved a hand. “Forget I said anything. Wasn’t thinking. Really.”
“I’d like to,” she said. “Just-”
“You don’t have to explain.” Cody let her hand go and she wished he hadn’t. “Anyway, enjoy the book, yeah? We’ll talk about it.”
“Alright.” She watched him go and sighed and it was another minute before she willed herself to walk out the door and make her way home.
3
Tobin
Tracking down the cubs had not been as easy as Tobin had originally expected.
The sleuth had been spitting mad to find their children gone. Although, the way they talked about them made Tobin think it was more a matter of pride than actual care for their children.
Not that it was any of his business.
Tobin considered himself a mercenary. The sleuth had hired him to do a job; track down the escaped cubs. They were paying him his fee and that’s all that mattered. What happened to the cubs beyond that was none of his business.
His first discovery had angered the sleuth yet more: The cubs had not escaped. They had been taken. He supposed he could say they had been freed. He had seen the chain and bucket of water. The sleuth had kept their children locked up like prisoners. But that was all semantics to him.
The problem after that was following seven different bears. It should have been easy except that the tracks kept confusing him. They would go one way and then stop or beeline in confusing trails and then he’d lose the tracks altogether. It almost seemed like the cubs and their kidnapper kept shifting back into their human forms, at which point Tobin would lose them. Tracking humans was not his strong suit. But that made no sense. Why shift into human form on the run when it was so much easier to travel the woods as a bear?
Maybe they’d done it deliberately to throw off trackers like him. If so, he was a little impressed.
On a Tuesday morning in summer, Tobin had lost the track once again. He had been on the trail of the cubs for three weeks and got nowhere. It was frustrating, and the sleuth was starting to lose patience.
“Goddamn stupid... ” He grumbled to himself, stabbing a french fry into his ketchup.
He normally ate on the trail, his bear happy to sustain itself with fish from the rivers or whatever he could find. But that day, having found himself foiled yet again, he’d been in the mood for a burger and a shake, if only to cheer himself up.
Tobin ran a hand through his scraggly salt and pepper gray hair and grunted before taking a bite of his double-cheeseburger.
He was sitting at a small table on the patio of Moose Burger , the burgers were not made from real moose, with a map laid out before him. He’d drawn out the tracks and trails he’d already gone over in colored pencil and now he was left with a scribbled mess.
“When I get my hands on these bears,” Tobin muttered. “There’s gonna be hell to pay.”
4
Cody
“JEREMY!” Cody grimaced as he shouted, tossing a grimy pan into a sink full of soapy water with a particular amount of hostility. Two dishwashers exchanged nervous expressions before brushing by him to get to the sink and he growled under his breath before again shouting, “Where the hell is Jeremy? This Béchamel is bullshit!”
Everyone kept scattering out of his way, disappearing into the pantry or out into the dining hall or scooting around him to cower by the ovens rather than face his wrath. His saucier, Jeremy, was nowhere to be found and it was really pissing Cody off.
It was possible, he supposed, that his anger was a little displaced.
“Hey!” Nathan blew through the doors, glowing at Cody, and he stopped short, crossing his arms. His brother gave him a gentle shove. “Can you chill just maybe for a second? We can hear you out in the dining hall, for crying out loud.”
“I will chill when I find my saucier!” Cody hissed, his eyes blazing.
“Damn, what got up your ass?” Nathan said.
He looked entirely too happy. Ever since he’d become a father he was nothing but happy even when he was exhausted and stressed out. It was annoying and it was annoying to Cody now, the heat in his blood bubbling up within him.
He was pissed. His bear was even more pissed.
He hated to think about why.
“Nothing’s up my ass, Nathan.”
“You always get like this when you’re really upset about something else.” Nathan had grown a beard and he stroked it, leaning on the kitchen island. He grabbed an almond from a charcuterie board waiting to be served and popped it into his mouth and just that set Cody off again.
“Don’t eat my charcuterie!”
“Cody.” Nathan frowned and looked eerily like Connor when he was being very serious. It brought Cody up short and he sighed, running a hand through his hair and wishing he could skip out on work and just go for a run in the woods to vent his frustration. It usually made him feel better. “What’s up?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Cody snarled and crossed his arms.
“Okay well, I think everything’s taken care of here even if you’re pretending to have a problem with the Béchamel,” Nathan said. “So why don’t you go cool off? Breakfast just ended. You’re fine.”
He wanted to resist on principle. But he did want to get out for a bit.
“Fine,” Cody snapped. “But not because you’re telling me too.”
“Oh, have it your way,” Nathan said, shrugging.
Cody sighed and hung up his apron, stomping out of the kitchen and catching more nervous glances from his staff. It almost made him feel bad. He knew he could be well, a bit of a bear, so to speak, when he was in the wrong mood.
He marched through the hall, out to the lobby, and through the front doors, sighing in relief when he breathed the summer air outside. He walked down the veranda and all the way around to an elevated patio that looked out on the lake beyond the bunny slopes. He supposed he didn’t need to go on a run. He’d just needed some air.
He was upset about Jessie. Obviously. He could admit as much to himself, at least.
The thing was, he had not dated much. Before he’d found happiness with Lydia, his brother Eric had dated plenty. Women were always chasing Nathan before he’d met Alanna. And Connor. Connor was a bit of a mystery. He disappeared into town from time to time and they all assumed he was on the hunt for a future mate. But he refused to talk about his conquests.
But Cody had never been much of a dater, and more than that, he’d never felt so strongly about anyone before.
“You’re being an asswipe,” he muttered to himself. “Be a man.”
It was true and he felt like a real jerk. He’d avoided Jessie all day, feeling a little pathetic after she’d rejected him.
It was time to clear the air. This was usually how things went with Cody if he was honest with himself. He got pissed off and projected his feelings all over the place, and then eventually came around to common sense.
Cody took one more cleansing breath of the crisp air of the cool summer day and went back inside, checking his watch. It was ten in the morning. He’d had a whole night of grumbling and feeling weird about what had happened with Jessie and now it was time to man up.
It took him awhile to find her after asking around, especially since people kept running in the opposite direction since word had gotten out that Cody was in “one of his moods.”
He found Jessie making up a bed in a honeymoon suite on the fifth floor and he sighed, hovering in the doorway and watching her work for a moment before knocking softly on the door jamb.
Jessie spun around with a start and he considered it a good sign that she smiled when she saw him. “Oh! Hey. Hi, Cody.”
“Hey.” Cody st
ayed where he was and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I thought I should uh, clear the air? For a second?”
He saw her expression shift. Her dark brow furrowed and straightened again and she looked down, tucking a bright white sheet neatly under the mattress, not looking at him. “Clear the air?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to apologize,” she shrugged, sheepish. “Really. I misunderstood things. And it was inappropriate with me being your boss-”
“You’re just a quarter my boss.” She smiled and he sighed a little.
Why must she be so cute?
“Well, regardless-”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Jessie interrupted. She looked up at Cody with big pleading doe eyes and his heart melted. “Really. You didn’t... The truth is, you didn’t misunderstand anything.”
He raised a skeptical eyebrow and resisted the urge to argue.
“I like you,” Jessie said softly. “I really do. I mean, I think that’s pretty obvious. I read The Great Gatsby just because you talked about it and it was really sad and I still liked it because I knew we could talk about it! You think I’d do that for just anyone?” She laughed a little and he found himself smiling in spite of himself.
“Okay,” Cody said. He bit his lip. He felt like that nervous teenager again. “So-”
“It’s not because I don’t like you and it’s not even because you’re a quarter my boss,” Jessie said slowly. “The truth is, I just can’t date right now. Anyone. Not just you. It’s... I... It’s a bad time. Right now. And I don’t know when it will be a good time.”
“Is there a guy?” Cody said. “It’s okay if there is, of course. And I know it’s none of my business-”
“Cody-”
“But if something’s wrong like he’s, ya know, mistreating you I’d hope you’d tell me. I could help you. I know it would be scary-”
“Cody!”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she said firmly. “It would be easier if I did. I just need you to... I have responsibilities, they... ” She stopped herself, shutting her mouth abruptly. He frowned, watching the way she clenched her fists at her side, her gaze flitting around the room.
It seemed to him like she wanted very badly to tell him what was holding her back. But she wouldn’t. And he wasn’t going to force the issue.
“Hey,” he said softly. He took a deep breath. “Like I said, it’s none of my business. If you want to make it my business sometimes? I’m all ears. I’m here for you, okay? That’s all I’m trying to say.”
She nodded mutely and her eyes were shining with tears that made him want to hold her in his arms. But he kept his hands in his pocket and stayed right where he was.
“Thank you,” she said. “Thanks, Cody. Really.”
“Sure.” He made a move to leave and let her work and stopped. “Come down and get some dinner after your shift, why don’t you? You still gotta let me play favorites, alright?”
“Okay.” She smiled at him in that warm, kind way of hers that made him feel like maybe he wasn’t good enough for her anyway. “I will.”
Cody had enough time to head back downstairs to the kitchens and organize everything for lunch. He felt a little better having talked things over with Jessie, but at the same time if anything, he was even more frustrated.
Jessie was into him. She’d made that much clear. It seemed impossible that anything should get between them. He knew that was the giddy lunacy of infatuation telling him that. But he couldn’t imagine what could be holding Jessie back unless she was already taken and she wasn’t.
“Are you cool now?” Jeremy stood in front of him, glaring.
Cody’s saucier was the best in five states and he had been an asshole, taking his frustration out on him. Cody cleared his throat and nodded once. “Yeah. You’re fine. Sorry, man.”
“My Béchamel is the best in the nation!” Jeremy said, pursing his lips.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Cody muttered. “But it’s perfectly good, yeah. You can take off early if you want.”
Jeremy straightened his crisp, white chef’s hat and sniffed. “That won’t be necessary.
He turned on his heel and strode away and Cody couldn’t help but roll his eyes.
“Sauciers,” he said under his breath. “They always have an attitude.”
Once things were tight as a drum in the kitchen for lunch, Cody impulsively decided to pay a visit to Nathan and let him know he’d managed to be an adult. Besides, it would probably cheer him up to see his niece, Baby Emily. Considering she lived right there in the lodge and right down the hall from him, he felt like he hadn’t gone to visit quite enough and she was still such a sensitive little newborn that Nathan and Alanna were not yet willing to take her out amongst a constantly rotating population of visiting guests with all their potential germs.
Cody jogged through the dining hall, dodging guests, some of whom recognized him as head chef and yelped their compliments as he beelined around them. He nodded his thanks and crossed the lobby to the wide stairway, taking the right staircase up to an elevator that would take him to the top floor and the wing where he and his brothers all lived.
Cody wrapped on the door and thanked the fates above and below that he didn’t hear a baby crying through the wall. Nathan answered with baby Emily in his arms. She was fussing just a little bit, softly whimpering as he rocked her. He had his big, square palm carefully cupping the back of her fuzzy little head as she clutched his chest, wrapped in a blanket
Cody couldn’t help cracking a smile. “Man, you’re a natural.”
“Who knew, right?” Nathan said. He stepped back and nodded for Cody to come in. “Nice to see you up here, bro. What’s up? Alanna’s asleep for about the first time in two days or something. I was gonna have some coffee while I chill with Em here. You want some?”
“Yeah, sure. I can hang out for a minute.” He made a vague gesture to Nathan’s plush red couch and headed to the kitchen. All the residential suites had a similar layout and anyway, he’d spent enough time in Nathan’s place before to have run of the place. “Sit down with Em. I’ll make the coffee.”
“Thanks, dude.” Nathan sat down with a sigh. He looked like it must be the first time he’d sat down all day. Emily started to fuss again and Nathan kissed her little head, trying to calm her. “You alright?”
“Yeah!” Cody filled up the carafe with tap water and poured it into the coffeemaker. “I mean I wanted to visit anyway. But I was a dick before. Thought I should apologize. I’m doing that a lot today.”
“No sweat,” Nathan with a shrug. “We know how you get.”
He sounded just a little too gleeful about it and Cody shot him a look. “You were right. I was pissed about something else and I took it out on everybody. I got some air, cleared my head... ”
“You should go on a run when you get like that,” Nathan said knowingly.
“Who has time to go on a run in the middle of a workday?” Cody said, a bit incredulous.
“Tell Connor you said that. He’ll laugh. Listen, Alanna and I have a deal. When one of us gets all tensed up we go shift in the woods and get our bear out, you know what I mean? No matter what’s happening. We cover for each other and there’s always someone to cover work. Otherwise, your bear comes roaring out and you don’t want that.”
“I guess,” Cody muttered. He was probably right. “Anyway. The thing I was actually upset about was this girl, Jessie.”
“Oooh.” Nathan cooed, rocking Emily in his arms. “Connor told me about this. The maid you’re crushing on, right?”
“It’s not a crush.” Cody frowned and flicked on the coffeemaker. “I’m not twelve. I was interested and we talked a lot and yesterday I asked her out and she shut me down.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah well, I talked to her after I blew up at you in the kitchen and actually, she is interested too. But... She says she can’t date.” He shrugged. “Won’t tell me why but she says it’s not a boyfriend.”
&
nbsp; “Huh. That’s mysterious.”
“Yeah.” He leaned on the counter and eyed Nathan. He’d gained a few pounds since getting together with Alanna but it looked good on him. It seemed to have only added some muscle and he seemed like even more of a man than he had before, if it were possible, especially with his infant daughter in his arms. He looked happy. He looked happier than Cody had ever seen him. Eric was the same way nowadays too.
It made Cody wonder if that’s how things could be with Jessie. He imagined them reading the same books, laughing together, and waking up with her in his arms... It was the stuff of dreams.
“Any advice?” Cody said.
“From me?” Nathan snorted. “You’ve never asked my advice.”
“Yeah, but look at you.” Cody shrugged. “You got it all, man. I hate to admit it but... I’m jealous, alright? Of both you and Eric. I think Connor is too. Sometimes I feel like maybe Jessie is the one, ya know?”
“Wow. Your mate?” Nathan gaped at him. “Really? Do you get the feeling in your chest?”
Cody chewed his lip. It was an overwhelming thought and he hadn’t voiced it before.
“What feeling in my chest?” He said softly.
“Just like... this desperate yearning,” Nathan said, looking somewhere far away. “Like if you don’t spend nearly every minute with this person, you can’t go on. Like you’ve already known them for a hundred years and yet there’s so much left to discover. This deep connection goes beyond all that too. That’s the fates. You feel it right here.” He pointed to his own heart. “It feels hot and tight. It hurts and it also feels good. You feel that?”
Yes, Cody thought. No question.
But he only shrugged and said, “I don’t know. Maybe.”
5
Jessie
Jessie told herself that it didn’t mean anything that she stopped in the employee washroom to let down her hair and brush it out and style it, and put on a little makeup before heading down to the kitchen for Cody’s dinner.
Cody (Strauss Bear Shifter Brothers 0f Colorado Book 3) Page 3