But Lexie didn’t seem like she wanted to stop and just pressed her lips against his while staying determinedly silent. Her hand slipped around to his front, her fingers hooking into the top of his briefs and pulling them down to expose his cock, and he couldn’t have stopped, even if he’d wanted to.
Connor yanked his underwear the rest of the way off, and then they were both naked, apart from Lexie’s top. He slid his hard length against her slick core, the feeling so exquisite he shuddered against her. Lexie finally let out a slight whimper, then so quietly he could barely hear her, she whispered. “I want you inside me.”
Fuck.
He wanted it so fucking badly, but he didn’t have a condom. Hadn’t expected things to go this far, which considering the sexual chemistry between them, had been sheer stupidity on his part.
“I don’t have a condom, baby,” he whispered back to her, just as quietly, while he continued grinding himself against her softness. He’d already told her he’d never gone bareback with any of the women he’d slept with and got tested regularly just to be safe, but there was no way he wanted to knock her up. She felt so good against him though; he could easily get both of them off, just doing this.
Lexie’s breathing became shallow, and then she tipped her head forward so that her lips were right by his ear and whispered so quietly he almost didn’t catch what she said, “I’m on birth control. I can’t wait until the hotel; I need you now.”
Connor’s fingers tightened on her hip to stop her rubbing up against him; the thought of sinking into her with nothing between them had him teetering on the edge of control. If the whiplash of lust that surged through him had been anything but funny, he’d have almost laughed at himself. The playboy rock star ready to blow his load just at the thought of having her with nothing between them.
His breathing was ragged as he pressed his forehead against hers. “Are you sure?” It almost killed him to say it, but he didn’t want her to have any regrets.
“I’m sure,” she breathed and then reached down to guide his cock to her entrance. He drew a deep breath in through his nose as he began a long, slow glide into her tight, wet heat. Fuck, the feel of her stretching around him was incredible, and by the time he was fully sheathed in her, they were both holding themselves almost rigid with the restraint needed to stay quiet.
Lexie had her top leg hooked over his hip and her face against his chest. Her hot, shuddering breaths washed over his skin as he held himself still, trying to grapple back some level of control.
When he felt the tension in her body relax slightly, he pulled almost all the way out of her in another long, slow glide before pushing back in. In order not to make too much noise, he was forced to slide slowly in and out of her, which was both frustrating and incredibly erotic. A long, slow build toward something incredible.
Keeping quiet in the dark, the primary senses in play were touch and taste, and Connor wanted to touch and taste all of her. Raising his hand, he gripped Lexie’s hair and tugged her head back so that her body arched slightly away from him. He pushed her top up over her breasts and dropped his head, licking her nipple before sucking it into his mouth, reveling in the salty-sweet taste of her skin. He bit down lightly, the sensation causing her hips to jerk against him.
With nothing between them, he could feel Lexie’s body, getting slicker, hotter, and tighter with every long, deliberate stroke, and his orgasm built with shocking intensity. Sweat broke out on his skin at the control he was exerting to not just give in and thrust hard into her so he could feel her explode around him.
Lexie’s breathing was becoming more and more rapid, Suddenly, she tightened even more, her internal muscles fluttering around his cock as her climax neared. With one last long, slow, almost agonizing thrust into her, she arched her back and came hard. He covered her mouth with his, muffling the low cry she unsuccessfully tried to restrain. His muscles tightened almost to the point of pain before the feel of her clenching around him drove him over the edge. Connor had to suppress his own deep groan at a release that seemed to just keep on going. It was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before.
When it finally eased, he could feel Lexie quivering against him, the strength of her orgasm having obviously matched his. He bent his head and feathered soft kisses over her face and lips as he tried to compose himself.
“Lexie…” he whispered, but didn’t finish, not knowing what it was he wanted to say.
She didn’t reply, just pressed herself against him, and tipped her head back to place a long, slow kiss against his lips.
Christ, she killed him. Sex with her was beyond amazing.
Every. Fucking. Time.
As his heartbeat slowly returned to normal, he pulled out of her. Reluctantly, he smoothed her top back down and felt around for her shorts, helping her pull them back on, then did the same for himself.
Still not having said anything, he turned her so her back was against his chest. While he could feel sleep tugging at him, he waited until her breathing slowed and evened out before kissing her gently on the head and rolling out of the bunk. He wouldn’t embarrass Lexie by risking the others seeing him climb out of her bed in the morning.
Returning to his bunk, he lay in the dark with one arm thrown over his eyes, his mind working overtime.
What the hell was he doing? He kept waiting for his attraction to Lexie to wane, both expecting it to happen and dreading when it did. But instead of lessening, it seemed to keep growing stronger. Even worse, he couldn’t seem to get enough of her as a person: her passion for life, the way she used her camera to share that passion, the way the sound of her laugh made him smile, the way one look from her could make him forget everything but his need to be inside her...
She was becoming an addiction, and for the first time, he realized that while he’d spent so long worrying if she’d be hurt when this was over, he’d never considered he might not get out unscathed either.
Chapter 35
The next morning when Connor got out of his bunk, he saw the curtain across Lexie’s had been drawn back and the bed was empty. The sight of the rumpled sheets brought flashbacks of the night before, and he needed to adjust himself before wandering out to the living area. As soon as he got out there, his gaze zeroed in on Lexie having breakfast with Noah sitting next to her. The drummer looked slightly the worse for wear with bloodshot eyes but nowhere near as bad as he had the night before.
Lexie glanced up at him as he approached the table, her gaze dropping to his bare chest before meeting his eyes with a slight smile. The red tinge that spread across her cheekbones told him she was having the same flashbacks he’d had. The thought of her reliving the memory of what they’d done the night before made him start to harden again, so he quickly turned away and casually stood looking out the window while he got himself under control. This girl could do things to him just with the look in her eyes.
When he’d recovered, he wandered back over to the table and slid into the seat opposite Noah. “How are you feeling?”
“Yeah, mostly better. Thanks for looking after me last night.”
“Of course. Though I don’t know why the hell you didn’t say you were feeling shit. You didn’t need to come out with us.”
Noah shrugged. “I didn’t want to let you guys down, and you know the label doesn’t like it when we skip PR events. I hoped a few drinks might sort me out.”
Connor shook his head. “The only way you could let us down is by not looking after yourself. And fuck the label. We’d have to do a lot more than missing a few PR events for them to drop us.”
Noah sighed and rubbed his temples. “Yeah, you’re right, it was stupid. Anyway, I should be good for tonight, but I might lie back down for a bit.”
“No problem. Just rest up and see how you feel later. We can always get a substitute drummer for tonight if we need to.”
That got a reaction. “Over my dead body,” Noah growled.
Connor smirked at that. He was feeling bett
er.
As Noah got up to leave, he turned to Lexie. “Thanks for swapping out with me last night. Were you all right in my bunk?”
Lexie flushed slightly at Noah’s innocent question, but she kept her eyes fixed on him as she answered. “Um, the bunk was surprisingly enjoyable. If you need to keep using the bed for a while, that’s fine.”
Connor’s heart rate sped up at the thought of a repeat of last night, and he was disappointed when Noah replied, “If you don’t mind me just using the bedroom again this morning, I’ll be good to be back in the bunk tonight.”
“That’s no problem.” She hid her disappointment well enough to not let on to Noah, but Connor could hear it in her voice.
Noah nodded, then headed back to bed. Connor slid over so he was sitting opposite Lexie. Since none of the others were around, he let himself reach over and pick up her hand where it rested on the table. She looked up at him through her lashes, a smile flickering over her lips at his touch.
“Nice try.” He grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes at him and laughed softly. “It makes me crazy not being able to touch you when you’re only a few feet away from me all night.”
He knew how she felt. It was infuriating having her so close but not be able to do anything about it. Part of him wanted to say to hell with it and just tell the others. Tex already seemed to have his suspicions. Not having to sneak around anymore would have its advantages. The thought of sharing the bedroom with her every night caused him to shift in his seat.
The downside was that everyone would assume it was some kind of relationship. And if he made it clear that it wasn’t, the others would probably kick his ass for taking advantage of Lexie.
Not that he was. Well, he didn’t think he was, anyway.
Looking at her now, with a soft smile on her face as he stroked his thumb over the back of her hand, confusion overtook him. She’d said nothing to him about wanting more and had seemed happy enough with their temporary arrangement. Was there a chance she did want more from him? Did he want that? He had to admit that he didn’t feel anywhere near done with her yet. In fact, he spent most of his time these days just looking forward to when he could be alone with her.
Fuck.
Anger, sudden and heated, coursed through him. What the hell was he thinking? This was supposed to be a short-term thing, just to get him through the tour, nothing more. He didn’t want it to be anything more. He pulled his hand away and rubbed the back of his neck. When Lexie looked at him curiously, he gave her a stiff smile.
“What’s wrong?” A crease appeared between her brows as she searched his face. Now he felt even worse. It was himself he was angry at. He didn’t want to take it out on her.
“Nothing, just tired. Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” He’d meant it as a joke, but the tension in his voice made it ring with accusation.
He gritted his teeth when she flinched. Shit, he was an asshole. But the concern that he’d got too involved with her, too reliant on her being around, made his skin prickle as if he was about to break out in a cold sweat. This kind of shit was why he avoided getting attached. Who needed this kind of emotional roller-coaster ride? The confusion he was feeling now meant he’d already gotten too invested in whatever this was between them.
He met Lexie’s gaze again, his chest tightening at her wounded expression. Pissed at himself for overthinking everything and hurting her, he reached across the table again and took her hand.
“I’m sorry, Lexie. I was kidding. Terrible joke I know; I’m an asshole. I was the one that started it last night, and it was fucking amazing.”
She smiled, but it didn’t quite erase the guarded look in her eyes. “Well, just over a week left before the end of the tour, so you won’t have to worry about me keeping you awake much longer.”
Connor hated the reminder that he only had a few more nights with her. And here he was wasting that time being a dick.
He was in the middle of trying to figure out how to make it up to her when footsteps sounded from behind him. Releasing Lexie’s hand, he turned to see Tex wandering into the room wearing jeans and nothing else. When he saw them sitting at the table, he ran his hand through his shoulder-length hair and gave Lexie a warm smile.
Connor gritted his teeth and turned back around. It still galled him knowing Tex had kissed Lexie before he had. Hell, that he’d kissed her at all pissed him off. Seeing Lexie smiling back at Tex annoyed him too. Deep down he knew there was nothing but friendliness in her expression—it wasn’t anything like the smiles she gave him in private—but it still made him crazy. Because in just over a week she would be gone, he’d never see her again, and some other man would be on the receiving end of all those gorgeous smiles.
It shouldn’t fucking bother him, but it did.
He slid out of the seat, keeping as close to a normal expression on his face as he could, before turning and leaving the room. He needed to get himself under control and soon. He only had a short amount of time left with her, and he didn’t want to ruin it now.
Chapter 36
The weeks had gone past so quickly. Too quickly—it was less than a week before the tour ended. Lexie’s camera felt heavy in her hands as she held it up to take photos of the packed stadium. The music and the screams of the crowd reverberated through her chest, but that wasn’t what was making it feel so tight.
Lexie knew she’d let herself get in too deep with Connor, but hadn’t known how to stop herself; had known almost from the start anyway that it would happen. She’d been so conflicted over the last few weeks. Drawn to him like a moth to a flame, all the while knowing she’d end up burned.
Over the last few days, Lexie had noticed a change in his behavior too. It was subtle, and at first, she thought she was imagining it. In private he still acted as if he couldn’t get enough of her. But in public, he seemed to be slowly but surely drawing away. Everything was just a little bit less. Less talking, less flirting, less just being near her for the sake of it. It was obvious to her that he was preparing to walk away in a few days.
It wasn’t like she didn’t know it was coming. He’d been clear about his expectations from the start and had been nothing other than open and honest about what he wanted from her. He’d laid it all out, and like every other woman in the world would have, she’d rushed to sign on the dotted line.
As painful as it was, she knew it was for the best. Knew there was no future where the two of them would end up together. Knew it, even as her heart cracked a little more every time he looked away from her. So, she would keep her head held high, keep a smile on her face, and never let him know how much it hurt.
Tonight, she was photographing the concert from the pit—the area in front of the stage behind the security barrier. She was shooting the crowd, focusing on the reaching hands, the combination of ecstasy and desperation on the faces of the fans.
Knowing the song list off by heart by now, she knew the song coming up next. It was her favorite, almost guaranteed to make her eyes well up with tears whenever she heard it. It was one of only a couple of acoustic songs during the concert, where Connor sat on a stool and played his guitar, just him alone in the spotlight.
The song, “What Could Have Been,” was about a missed chance at love, and the soulful words, sung in Connor’s velvety, dark tones, were like an emotional sucker punch. When she’d first heard it, her thoughts had been of Damien. Now she couldn’t help but think of Connor, and how it would feel to walk away in a few days when the tour finished.
As she heard the familiar chords from behind her and saw the emotions on the fans’ faces, she couldn’t stop herself from turning around to watch. If she only had a few days left, she wanted to make as many memories as she could.
Sighing in appreciation, she took in the scene. The rest of the stage was dark, and Connor was sitting on a stool lit up by the spotlight. His muscular arms cradled his acoustic guitar as his fingers strummed the chords of the song intro. He tipped his head back slig
htly so he could sing into the microphone, but kept his eyes closed. As the song approached the chorus, Lexie felt the stinging at the back of her eyes heralding the tears she couldn’t seem to hold back whenever she heard this song.
When the chorus kicked in, he finally opened his eyes, but rather than looking out over the crowd as he normally did, his eyes found her. They stayed on her for the whole song. Even though the two of them were in a stadium filled to bursting with tens of thousands of fans, the moment felt intimate, as if they were alone and he was singing just to her.
She tried to hold back the tears, but they were already so close to the surface that despite her best efforts, they overflowed, trickling down her cheeks. She wanted to turn away, to compose herself, but she felt pinned to the ground by the intensity of his gaze. Instead, she subtly tried to wipe the tears away and saw him narrow his eyes as she did. When the last notes of the song faded, the crowd went berserk. And so did her heart. Damn it. Walking away in a few days was going to kill her.
Later, during the after-party, she felt Connor’s presence behind her while she was taking a photo of Tex talking animatedly to a fan. Turning slightly toward him to acknowledge his presence, she shivered as his fingers skated up the bare skin of her arm. Leaning down, he murmured in her ear. “Let’s go.”
She turned to him, surprised since the band had only arrived about twenty minutes before. He usually liked to stay for a while since people had paid money or even won competitions to meet the band. By the determined look on his face, he wasn’t asking.
When she didn’t respond straight away, he grabbed her hand and started pulling her along behind him. That was even more surprising since they usually tried not to do anything too suspicious in public. But his urgency was thrilling, and she could feel her body reacting in anticipation of the night ahead.
Fractured Hearts: A Fractured Rock Star Romance Page 21
