by Mari Carr
Josie had never turned down a dare in her life. She unbuttoned her blouse and slid it off her shoulders, making the disrobing a peep show for his enjoyment.
Once the shirt hit the floor, he gave her an appreciative wolf whistle. “Damn is an understatement in your case.”
She’d anticipated the evening would be awkward, uncomfortable. After all, they were virtual strangers. Instead, Josie was having the time of her life. She put her fingers at the fastening of her jeans. “Should we go for broke?”
Jake followed suit, hastily unbuttoning his jeans. He slid the zipper down, then paused when he noticed she hadn’t moved. She’d forgotten what she was doing, too excited about seeing if what he was packing beneath that skin-tight denim was as promising as it felt.
“Don’t leave me hanging, Josie.”
Her gaze returned to his face and she rolled her eyes when he gave her a cocky wink. Then she gave him exactly what he was asking for. She unfastened her pants. Without pausing, she shimmied her jeans over her hips, kicking them off until she stood before him in nothing but her lacy bra and thong.
She giggled when she realized it was Jake’s turn to forget what he was doing. “Jesus,” he mumbled reverently.
“You’re awfully good for the ego, Mr.—” She paused. “Shit. I don’t even know your last name.”
He started to tell her, but she quickly cut him off. “No! Don’t tell me. It’s sex-with-a-stranger night. If you tell me your whole name, it diminishes the fun of that.”
He tilted his head. “Is this a fantasy thing?”
She shrugged lightly. “Something like that.” She had no intention of telling him about her Howl List. She’d shared her goals with the wine girls and that was as far as she planned to go with the information.
Jake was simply helping her mark off number one on her list. If the rest of her full moons were as perfect as tonight, she was about to have one hell of a year.
“I don’t mind being a fantasy, Josie.” As he spoke, he pressed her back until her legs hit his bed. She sank down onto the mattress.
Jake didn’t join her. Instead, he knelt in front of her, his gaze landing on her breasts. One of the perks of motherhood was she actually had some now. She’d been rather small-chested all through high school, but since Tommy’s birth, her barely B cup had developed into a healthy C.
Jake reached behind her to undo the snaps while Josie ran her fingers through his hair. It was as soft as it looked. She dragged her hand along his face, stroking the rough feel of his beard.
He gave her a lopsided grin, accentuating the laugh lines by his blue eyes. Their appearance proved he was no stranger to smiling. She liked that.
Then he pulled her bra away.
Josie let her hands rest on his shoulders, her fingers tightening in the muscles there when he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the top of each breast. His hands entered the play, cupping her, holding her up so he could suck her tight nipple into his mouth.
She didn’t bother to hold back the quiet “Oh” when he increased the suction, his ministrations the perfect mixture of pleasure tinged with the slightest discomfort. So much for Jake’s easygoing nature. His increasingly rougher touches told Josie he’d be a potent lover.
The thought made her giddy. Sex with Tony had been easy, predictable, and—once the newness of it had worn off—passionless.
Jake’s grip on her breasts tightened and she cried out. He didn’t bother to slacken his hold. If anything, her small whimpers drove him further.
She reached out to grip his hair, clasping him to her breasts when she sensed he might let go. This felt too good and she didn’t want it to stop. Jake continued to suckle, nip, squeeze.
Josie tried to press her legs together, to seek some sort of relief, but Jake was stationed firmly between them. She squirmed restlessly, her pussy seeking, clenching the air.
“Jake,” she finally said, when the desire grew too painful. He released her and glanced up. She wasn’t sure what he saw there, but it convinced him to take pity on her.
Rising, Jake stripped off his jeans and boxers.
Josie licked her lips when she got her first look at his cock. Jake was long and thick and definitely ready to roll. He caught sight of her hungry stare, but shook his head when she started to lean forward to take him into her mouth.
“Not tonight, Josie. You put those pretty lips of yours anywhere near my dick and this game will be over before it starts.” He bent over to retrieve his wallet from his pants, digging out a condom. “Take off that thong.”
She lifted her hips and shed the final piece of clothing as Jake donned the rubber.
Moment of truth.
She lifted her arms as Jake approached, lying back on the mattress as he came over her. She parted her legs and he was there. He touched her briefly, found her wet. Then his cock nudged at the entrance to her body. He didn’t pause as he slowly drove inside.
It had been too long since she’d had sex. Though she was wet and ready for him, it was still a tight fit. Her fingers dug into his upper arms and he stopped, buried to the hilt.
“Okay?” His eyes were concerned, kind.
She was so glad she’d found him. That Jake was the man to bring her out of hibernation and back into the world of sex. She nodded, surprised by the tear that escaped. She tried to bat it away before he could see, but Jake caught her wrist, held it away from her face.
“Crying?”
“It’s been a long time and this feels really good.”
He considered her answer for a moment, then he bent over to kiss her cheek, his lips absorbing the wetness there. “You’re beautiful, Josie. I’m glad you picked me.”
She turned her face, finding his lips with hers. Jake accepted her kiss, then lifted his hips and helped her find her rhythm again. She’d been out of synch with the world for too long. As he moved in and out, he showed her exactly how much she’d been missing.
They stopped talking as Josie let herself be swept away by the moment, the magic. Jake pressed into her, each return going deeper, stroking places inside her she didn’t know existed. When his fingers grazed her clit, she gasped. Then she came.
Jake didn’t stop as she writhed beneath him, crying out her pleasure. Instead, he continued to push her on, forcing her higher.
His pace increased, his motions growing harder, hungrier. Josie struggled to come down, fought for more. It was too much, not enough.
He stroked her clit once more, pressing harder on the tight nub, and she saw stars, screaming as she came again.
This time, Jake was with her. His voice was gruff as he tensed up with his release. “Fuck. God. Yeah. Jesus, Josie. So fucking good.”
She closed her eyes, too tired to smile, though his praise certainly made her happier than she’d been in a very long time.
Jake slowly withdrew, leaving the bed for only a moment to dispose of the condom. When he returned, he dropped down next to her. They were lying sideways on his bed, their legs hanging off the edge. They hadn’t even bothered to pull down the covers.
Josie allowed herself to lie still for several quiet moments as she tried to calm her racing heart, soften her breathing and revel in the beauty of the moment.
Then she forced herself to sit up.
Jake didn’t move, though he watched her motions as she rose from the bed and started to get dressed.
“Nothing I can say will convince you to stay, will it?”
She gave him a regretful look. “No. I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“Will you give me your phone number?”
His tone told her he already knew the answer to that question too. “Jake, I—”
“Forget it, Josie. I knew going in what you wanted. Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
She smiled, touched by his kind understanding.
He stood and started to dress as well.
“I can walk back by myself.”
He dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand and sat to pull o
n his shoes. “Nope, you’re not going out there alone. It’s dark and I promised.”
Grasping her hand, Jake walked Josie back to where she’d left her car. The bar had closed, but a few drunks hovered outside, talking and laughing loudly, waiting for rides and attempting to keep the party going a few minutes more.
Josie unlocked her car and turned to face him.
Jake cupped her cheeks, giving her a soft, sweet kiss. Her body—dammit—reacted to it, to him, too easily.
He pulled away first. “Thank you for a fun night, Josie.”
Those words—coming from him—felt wrong. She was the one who wanted to thank him. “I had a great time, Jake.”
“If you ever feel the need to fulfill another fantasy, you know where to find me.”
She laughed. Oh man. If only he knew what he was offering. Part of her wanted to take him up on it. Tell him about her list and see what he was doing on the next full moon.
Instead, she said, “Good night, Jake.”
He stepped away from the car and watched her pull out onto the street. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she caught sight of him waving once before stuffing his hands in his pockets and turning back for home.
It had been three weeks since Zoey proposed they all take a second chance at finding happiness, and it was the first time Josie felt a spark of hope that she might succeed.
Turning on the radio, she sang along with Janis Joplin, belting out “Me and Bobby McGee” at full volume.
Best. Night. Ever. She couldn’t wait to see what next month would bring.
Chapter Two
Josie’s Howl List—February
1. Sex with a stranger
2. Sex in public
Shelly appeared in her yard as Josie waved goodbye to Tommy. Miracle of miracles, Tony had shown up on time to pick up their son. Apparently she truly had sparked a bit of jealousy in her ex-husband when he saw her dressed up for her night out last month. Since then, he’d been arriving on time and feigning nonchalance while asking about her week, her plans. She’d shut him down every time, making obscure comments and leaving him to wonder what she was getting up to. She was sort of ashamed of the petty part of her that liked tweaking her ex.
Of course, sadly, since her full moon with Jake, all she’d really been up to was work, wine nights with the girls and building Lego models with Tommy. But Tony didn’t need to know that.
And while doing all those mundane things, she constantly relived her night with Jake. Twice, she thought she’d seen him on the street, but she’d been mistaken. She had even driven by Blue Moon on three occasions, somehow convincing herself she was taking a quicker route to the grocery store. Each time, she slowed down, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
Had she built him up in her mind? Made him seem hotter than he really was?
Did it matter?
She was still grinning when Shelly climbed the three stairs to her small front porch. “What’s that smile about?”
Josie laughed and led Shelly into the house. It was full-moon weekend and Shelly was coming along for the ride. Josie decided her friend needed a night out. Shelly had been working too many hours overtime at the bank. Apparently the powers that be had decided to revamp their entire software program and since Shelly was part of the IT department, a lot of the work was falling to her.
Besides, Josie was hoping for some moral support as she attempted to mark another item off her Howl List. She’d been very fortunate on the first go-round and she was praying that luck held. It was that good fortune that convinced her to return to Blue Moon even though she knew it was probably a bad idea.
Josie tried to tell herself she was simply returning because it was a nice place that catered to patrons around her age, but that reason was a lie. She wanted to see Jake again.
“New shirt?” Josie asked.
Shelly nodded. “Yep. Mine were starting to hang a bit. Thank God.”
“You look fantastic, by the way. How much weight have you lost?”
Shelly was working hard on her second-chance goal. She’d stuck to her diet and joined a local gym. The crazy woman had even signed up for a kickboxing class.
“I’m down another five. Brings me to twenty-two total. It’s a drop in the bucket in terms of how much I need to lose, but at least the scale’s going down, not up. Now, no more dodging. Why were you grinning like the Cheshire Cat when I got here?”
Josie gestured to the second floor. “Come upstairs with me while I finish doing my makeup and I’ll tell you.”
Shelly nodded and followed her up, then put the lid down on the toilet and made herself comfortable.
Josie picked up her mascara. “I don’t think Tony likes the idea of me going out.”
Shelly tilted her head in annoyance. “So what? He gave up the right to give a shit when he signed his name on those divorce papers.”
“Oh, I know that. It just feels good to get under his skin. I really think that arrogant idiot thought I was going to spend the rest of my life sitting in this townhouse, crying over him.”
Shelly picked up a tube of lipstick, testing the color on her hand. “Then good. I’m glad he’s irritated. Serves him right.”
Josie brushed some blush on her cheeks. She’d wanted to talk to Shelly since her last night out, but between Shelly’s long hours and the fact that Tommy was almost always within earshot, she hadn’t had a chance.
“I’m feeling better than I have in a long time.”
Shelly frowned. “I didn’t know you were feeling bad.”
Josie lifted one shoulder dismissively. “I don’t mean I was depressed or anything. I just mean I’m feeling more hopeful about my future.”
“What was wrong with your future?”
Shelly had always sort of idolized Josie. And Josie had never bothered to correct her friend’s mistaken assumptions because Shelly’s belief in her made her feel stronger than she really was.
Problem was, lately, she was tired of hiding, of pretending to be something she wasn’t.
“I didn’t leave Tony.”
Shelly stopped putting on the lipstick and stared at her. “What do you mean?”
“He left me.”
“But I thought you said after you found out he was having an affair, you filed for divorce.”
Josie looked down at the sink and forced herself to tell a truth she’d hidden from her friend for nearly two years. Shame had kept her quiet. “No. He confessed to the affair and moved out. And I actually fought with him, asked him to stay. I thought maybe we could work things out. I figured we’d go to counseling, I’d forgive him for the affair, he’d swear to never see that woman again and all would be well.”
“Why would you do that?”
Josie bit her lower lip. “Tommy. My parents divorced when I was young and I swore I’d never put my kid through that.”
“So you’d put up with a cheating husband?”
“No. Hell no. The affair would have had to stop. I couldn’t live with that, but…” Josie paused, trying to figure out how she could explain. Shelly’s parents were still married—happily married—after thirty years.
“But what?” Shelly prodded.
“It’s different when there’s a child involved. If it had just been me and Tony, and he’d cheated on me, I would have kicked his ass out in a New York minute. I would have tossed all his shit out on the lawn, changed the locks and never looked back. But I couldn’t do that because of Tommy.”
“Tommy loves his dad.”
Josie nodded. “So much. And Tony, for all his faults—and believe me, he has a ton—loves Tommy. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my son.”
“Even if it meant living with a philandering husband?”
Josie rubbed her forehead. “I hope to God I would have been strong enough to dump him if the affair continued.”
“You don’t think you would have?”
“I don’t think he only had one affair.”
Shelly frowned. “What?”
&nb
sp; “There were other women. I never caught him and he never confessed as much, but…yeah, I’m sure there were others.”
“I’m sorry, but I still don’t think you would have put up with the cheating forever. You have too much self-respect for that.”
Josie glanced at her reflection in the mirror, then looked away, not liking the woman looking back at her. “I never got the chance to find out, did I? Tony packed up. He left us. Despite the fact I begged him to stay.”
Shelly stood up. “You are tough, Josie. I’m not sure what’s shaken you up lately, caused you to doubt yourself, but I hope you figure out the truth soon.”
“What truth?”
“That you’re one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met.”
Josie swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, touched by her friend’s love and loyalty. “I’m not sure why I told you all that. Or I guess I should say I don’t know why I didn’t tell you before.”
Shelly smiled. “No one likes to admit weakness. And I think it’s worse for you because you are so strong. You went against everything you believed in because you thought it was in Tommy’s best interest. You were willing to swallow your pride because of your love for your son. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. God, every child should be so lucky.”
Josie hugged Shelly, trying not to cry. While her friend’s words had smoothed some rough edges, Josie still couldn’t dismiss the idea that she’d been wrong. Even so, she said, “Thank you.”
Shelly pulled away first and pointed to the lipstick. “Does this look okay?”
“It looks great. Ready to go?” Josie asked.
Shelly nodded.
Josie was grateful for Shelly’s company. She was able to hold the nervousness she’d felt when they left her house at bay. Without Shelly in the car, she would have turned around and returned home, hating herself for being a coward.
“You still on for Thursday’s wine night? I think poor Zoey’s going to need a couple bottles all to herself.” Shelly said.
Josie nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it.” They talked about Zoey’s recent, unexpected breast cancer diagnosis as they drove to the bar. Then they came up with a list of ways they could help their friend as she went through chemo. Shelly helped Josie finish composing a poem for her friend—one she hoped would make Zoey laugh. God knew the woman could use some humor these days. By the time they reached their destination, Josie was ready for a drink.
