by Allison Lane
Nicholas drew in a deep breath. Had he driven her into Langley’s arms? Sliding to the ground, he laid his head on his knees and swallowed the hot tickle in his throat. He had lost control by the stream. She had responded, hotter than ever before, though retaining a hint of the sweet innocence that had always driven him wild – so despite her love, Bounty must have used her sparingly, he realized in a pleased aside.
But he had pushed her too hard. Her own response had shocked her. She had been unwilling to give up her anger – and probably hatred; in ten years, she would have convinced herself that she hated him.
Damn! Why did he always cease thinking when he was with her – at least with his head; his groin was doing just fine, devil take it. He shifted to ease its discomfort. He knew he should have moved slower. Yet even after losing control of what should have been a simple kiss, he had made things worse with that parting shot.
This isn’t over. None of it.
A threat. That’s what she would have heard. A bloody threat to force her into his bed.
Her resistance arose from pride, but discovering that she still responded to his touch would have horrified her, impelling her to find a way to avoid him.
Why hadn’t he seen it earlier? Preferably before finding her in the clearing. She had loved him once, but he had behaved like an insensitive brute. Now that he had proven that she remained susceptible, she would fear him. And so she had sought protection from Langley, who would offer honor rather than dishonor.
Idiot! All of them were idiots. But he took the prize.
If he had held off until they were back in London, she could at least have found someone respectable. Langley was no good – certainly not for Diana. She deserved so much more than a glib-tongued libertine in desperate need of cash. After a loving marriage with Bounty – he suppressed another surge of guilt over pushing her into that one, never mind that she had come to love him – how would she survive life with a womanizing scoundrel?
And it was all his fault. He was no good, ruining her life and stripping her of any hope for happiness. She would be stuck with Langley forever. He was far too young to be sticking his spoon into the wall any time soon.
Nicholas suppressed a stronger twinge of pain as he pictured Langley making love to her. It should be him in that bed! And if he had only controlled himself a little better, it would have been. Where had his finesse gone? Two years away from town should not have destroyed his technique. But he had behaved even worse this time than he had as a young man.
Logic finally began working again. Perhaps Langley had not forced her. His own vanity preferred that she was blindly walking into an intolerable situation, but that did her an injustice. She was smart enough to know Langley needed cash. Aside from his own warnings, she had recognized Graffington’s penury before anyone else even suspected he was floundering in debt.
Yet he also hoped Langley had trapped her. Nicholas sighed. He did not want to admit that she preferred a man who was even younger than herself. He did not want to admit that her youthful love had been reduced to hatred and lust. And he never wanted to admit that her vow of eternal love had been what he had claimed – a passing tendre.
Her words had warmed him for years, though he had never consciously recalled them. But even as he had hurled her proffered heart back at her feet, he had grasped the words and tucked them safely away. When he had met her again, he had remembered that vow and expected her to fall into his arms. But she hadn’t.
He climbed to his feet. There was nothing he could do now. Diana had made her choice. And she deserved the permanence of marriage. Hopefully, that was what Langley had offered, but even if she had only meant to use Langley to avoid his own attentions this week, she could never escape him now. Not if she wanted to remain in London. The Parkers and Harrisons would make sure that the wedding took place – soon. One of the servants was probably already riding to London for a special license. Backing out would destroy her.
Dusting himself off, he set his face in a proper social mask and headed for the house, ready to offer congratulations to the happy couple. Once he managed that, he would visit the village and drink himself into oblivion.
He should never have come to this house party. He knew betrothals were binding. If he had not tried to interfere with Eastbrook’s, this would not have happened. He would not inquire into her true feelings, for discovering that she was trapped might tempt him into interfering yet again. And that could only lead to new trouble.
At least Sophia had part of her wish. Langley couldn’t marry her now. She could drift through yet another Season unwed. He no longer cared. And perhaps by next year, she would have come to her senses and be ready to settle down.
For himself, he had had enough of society for now. He could wind up his business within the week. Then he would embark on a tour of all his properties. By the time he returned to the Abbey, he would have decided what to do with his mother. Only then would he consider his own future.
CHAPTER NINE
By the time Nicholas washed, changed clothes, and finished some correspondence, he was calm enough to face Langley and Diana. He found them in the drawing room, still accepting congratulations from house guests.
“Have you set the date?” Lady Weymouth was asking as he entered the room.
“Autumn,” said Langley.
“We need to check with St. George’s before we’ll know the exact date,” explained Diana, naming the most fashionable church in London. “But it will probably be in October. Will you be in town?”
Nicholas ignored the response, his eyes narrowing as he stared at Langley. Though the man was gazing rapturously at Diana, his eyes were cool. Was he seeing Diana, the educated hostess, fascinating conversationalist, and most seductive woman alive? Or was he seeing Lady Bounty’s bottomless coffers?
Red mist obscured his vision. Diana deserved more than life with a dishonorable rogue. But he would not question her betrothal, he reminded himself strongly. He would play the role of gracious loser. Since he had never offered her more than a lusty affair, it should be easy. Only he knew how much he still wanted her.
But he couldn’t stop his mind from asking questions. Why were they waiting so long? Langley needed money now. Was Diana hoping to wiggle out of the affair? His heart pounded. But she would never get away with it – especially in the country. She lived too close to the Parkers.
It was not his affair, he reminded himself again as Lady Weymouth left to change for dinner. He was a minor acquaintance of both bride and groom. Touring his estates would give his groin time to remember that. All he had to do was maintain his dignity for a few more days.
“I hear congratulations are in order,” he said lightly.
“Thank you, my lord.” Diana’s voice was calm, but pain flashed deep in her eyes. It resonated in his chest, robbing him of breath. Raising her hand for a brief kiss covered his inability to speak.
“Langley,” he managed finally, shaking hands with her intended even as the man’s voice echoed in his mind. You might want to cultivate Lady Forester. She’s worth it. Langley’s mouth had been curled in a reminiscent smile that any libertine would recognize. And now his eyes looked at Diana with false affection. And hers hid pain – and determination.
Oh, God, Diana! What have you gotten yourself into? Had Langley taken a page from Lady Forester’s book and set her up?
Excusing himself, he called for his horse and went in search of an inn with a well-stocked taproom.
Diana finally escaped the drawing room. Chloe must have heard by now. Everyone else had.
Nicholas’s eyes had been the worst. Other guests had wished them well. Some believed the betrothal was planned; others suspected she had been caught in an indiscretion. But none really cared.
Except Nicholas. His eyes had bored into her head, searching for the truth. And he had found it. He had blinked when he registered that she did not want this match, and blinked again when he noted that Charles’s enthusiasm was an act. Her only s
uccess had been convincing him that she would make the best of it. But she feared what he might do with his knowledge. And knowing that they could still communicate without words was terrifying.
She had never been sure whether the mind-reading was real – especially after he repudiated her love. Over the years she had convinced herself that it had been imagination – a few coincidences born of similar tastes coupled with the deliberate deceit he had employed to seduce her. Now she had to wonder.
They shared no experiences these days. Not even friendship. They had not seen or heard from each other in ten years. Yet he had looked into her mind and been furious at what he found. And hurt.
She pushed that impression aside. Later. For now she had to concentrate on Chloe.
What a mess! If it had been difficult to help Chloe and Charles before, it was worse now that they had two betrothals to undo. She would release Charles as soon as possible, of course, but how were they to escape with everyone’s reputation intact?
“How could you?” demanded Chloe, admitting Diana to her room. Her eyes were puffy from the tears that still rolled down her cheeks. “Traitor! Did you plan this so you could have him yourself?”
“That is utter nonsense. I don’t want him.”
“Then why are you now betrothed to him?” Her voice cracked.
“I could not refuse without destroying my reputation. Is that what you want?”
“So you will wed a man you don’t love just to keep up appearances. For heaven’s sake, you’re nearly thirty! How could Charles even consider marrying someone older than he is?”
“That is quite enough, Chloe,” snapped Diana, tamping down her own anger with difficulty. “Sit down. This is as much your fault as anyone’s. Instead of wasting time spewing insults, why don’t you pull yourself together so we can figure out what to do?”
“My fault?” Shock dried her tears.
“In part. I warned you to stay away from Charles this week. You knew what would happen if your parents suspected your intentions. You chose to ignore that warning and allow a moment of pleasure to jeopardize your future. Now we have a bigger imbroglio on our hands than before. You are lucky it is no worse.”
Chloe sighed. “What happened?”
Diana sat on the couch. “As near as I can figure, Lady Sophia spotted you and Charles in the folly. She is a very priggish high-stickler who wouldn’t dream of ignoring anything she considers improper. This is not the first time she has exposed someone’s indiscretions.” Nor was it the first time she had precipitated a betrothal. At least one scheming fortune hunter had already used her to trap a lord into marriage – not that Sophia would ever admit to being a pawn for an unscrupulous, greedy mushroom. But she had appointed herself guardian of public morality, and no voices to the contrary would dissuade her.
“So she told my parents.”
“Of course not. Carrying tales is bad ton. Her code of conduct is far too rigid to allow such gauche behavior. She simply led them to the folly so they could discover your sins for themselves. If you had not made your escape before they arrived, you would now be meeting George in church. And don’t think you could have escaped. Your parents would have locked you up under guard until the license arrived.”
Chloe shuddered.
“Charles was not so lucky. He made the mistake of pausing to thank me. Thus your parents and Lady Sophia found us together. If we had not immediately announced a betrothal, I would have been ruined. He would have been forgiven, of course, for rakes are expected to seduce widows. I can only be thankful that he is gentlemanly enough to protect me.” His response had not been quite that altruistic, of course. Confirming his rakish reputation would never win the Parkers’ approval.
“So he will marry you, which leaves me no choice but to wed George.” New tears trickled down Chloe’s cheeks.
“Fiddle-faddle. I have no intention of wedding anyone. If we cannot find an acceptable way to dissolve both these betrothals, you and Charles can elope. Being jilted will harm me less than it would an innocent. I can cope with being thought fast, though it would be better if I didn’t have to. A temporary betrothal will allow the immediate scandal to die. By the time you and Charles sail, most people will have left London. Next Season’s scandals will push memory of this aside.”
She did not address the problem of country memories. The Parkers would not let her perfidy rest – they would know that she had encouraged Chloe and Charles. Since their estate ran with hers, she would have to live with their animosity for a long time.
Chloe dried her tears and blew her nose. “I should have known you would not abandon me. Few people would risk their place in society for a relative, let alone a neighbor, but you have always helped me.”
“Enough.” Embarrassed, she made her voice brisker. “This may actually be a blessing. Since Charles is tied to me – he is quite good at acting the besotted suitor, by the way, so don’t be shocked by his demeanor – you will be able to speak with him in company. He is no longer a threat, so your parents should not object. Just remember to control your face and keep the meetings brief. You must continue spending time with George, but this gives us time to convince everyone that you and he are not suited. Work on him and your parents. Forget the Weymouths. The are not in a position to release you, and they don’t really care who he weds. Once we break your betrothal, I will gracefully step aside so you and Charles can be together.”
Leaving Chloe to erase all signs of tears, Diana retired to her room to prepare for dinner. Going into battle could not be more nerve-racking.
She and Charles were again the focus of attention in the drawing room. But this would be the last time. By morning their sudden betrothal would be old news. Talk would shift to tomorrow’s christening and grand ball.
This time they separated, speaking individually with the other guests. Chloe and the Parkers arrived. When Chloe approached Charles to apparently offer her congratulations, her parents showed no concern. But when she remained with Charles for a full five minutes, a line appeared in Lady Parker’s forehead.
“That’s long enough for now,” murmured Diana, joining the couple. “Congratulate me, Chloe. Your mother is watching.”
“Is she upset?” She complied.
“Just anxious. Be very careful. If you show undue interest in each other, this whole scheme could fall apart. Talk to George, Chloe. Charles, look like you’re glad to see me.” His face had fallen into a frown.
He turned his adoring admiration in her direction, but his eyes were looking at Chloe.
“Clever,” Diana murmured. No one else could see his eyes. “Just don’t outsmart yourself.”
“Relax,” Charles advised her once Chloe had left. “You look like you are ready to swoon.”
“I will be fine. After tonight, people won’t watch so closely.”
He nodded, escorting her to dinner. And she did relax – as soon as she confirmed that Nicholas was absent. Curse the man. He affected her even when he wasn’t there.
* * * *
Nicholas leaned against the wall of Harrison’s ballroom and let his gaze wander over the other guests. Thank God he could return to London in the morning.
He had gotten just as drunk as he had intended last night – and had paid for it with a pounding head and churning stomach. He had forgotten just how rotten the aftermath always felt. Even Stubbs’s magic elixir hadn’t done much good. Thus the morning’s christening had seemed interminable. He had skipped the drawing room afterward, choosing to sleep until he felt slightly more human. But he was unable to skip the ball without insulting his host.
So here he was. Harrison had greeted him, so his presence had been duly noted. He would prop up this wall for another set or two, then leave.
Diana and Langley stepped into the first set together. That gaze of false adoration was looking a trifle pinched.
Nicholas swore. Time to go. But the door was across the room. Lady Bankleigh accosted him, then Lord Warfarin, and Mrs. Beasley.
/> Two sets later he led Diana out for a waltz.
Why was he doing this? Her touch raised heat far more intense than the last time they had waltzed. But only because he acknowledged his lust, he assured himself. He couldn’t help but react when he wanted her so badly.
But he would never have her now. And not just because custom put matrons off limits until they had produced an heir. He had done some serious thinking while drowning himself in wine. Diana’s loyalty was one of her attractions, but it would prevent her from even considering infidelity. So she was lost to him.
Accepting that had been bad enough, but his reflections had been brutally honest for once. Until now his entire life had been sordid. He had used people for years – always for selfish purposes. While it was true that he had never accepted a wager his opponent couldn’t afford to lose, he had often misled men into placing bets – and had taken advantage of inebriation more than once. He had seduced any number of women merely for the sport of it. But the most ignoble act of all had been trying to seduce Diana.
He couldn’t get that flash of pain out of his mind. She did not want this marriage, but she would make the best of it, turning all her warmth, her caring, and her loyalty on Langley. Never mind that the man didn’t deserve it and wouldn’t appreciate it. He would continue living as before, with mistresses and affairs at every turn. But she would smile and make the best of it.
And he would have to bite his tongue at every insult, swallowing the knowledge that it was all his fault.
So why was he torturing himself even more by dancing with her? And why had he chosen a waltz? Idiot! He should have asked for an innocuous country dance or a sprightly reel. Holding her was weakening his control. Again.
