by Romy Sommer
A chill swept through him. “So were you even going to look me up, or have you consigned me so far in your past I don’t even warrant a hello? And since when do you care about people’s opinion?”
She bit her lip. “You didn’t come to Grandpa’s funeral. I thought…you didn’t…” She shrugged.
“I was out of town. I only got back earlier this evening.”
Surprise lit her soft hazel eyes. “Oh.”
“And about tongues wagging, I think you’ll find they’ll wag whether you want them to or not, especially if Mrs C is the ring leader. So you can either sleep on the bench, or stay with me.”
She seemed to waver and the chill receded. He ignored the voice that warned him to be cautious.
Tugging off his gloves, he curled his hand over her arm. “Come on. I can’t let you in on your own so I’ll come with you to get your things, then we can head over to my place.”
She blew out another sigh, the one he'd always associated with her capitulation. Deep down he felt a tiny hint of pleasure that some things hadn’t changed.
“Okay…umm, are you sure I can stay with you?”
“I’m sure.”
The remaining crew were coming out of the blackened kitchen as he escorted her in. Ben nodded a greeting at Ellie, then glancing at Jake’s hand on her arm, his gaze cooled.
“I’ve updated Ellie on the damage and she knows she can’t stay here. Is there any way to secure the kitchen? We don’t want any teenagers to break in.”
Ken Philips, the newest fire recruit spoke up. “I have a few plywood sheets left over from renovating my house. I can board up the windows with those if you like.”
“That would be much appreciated,” Ellie replied with a smile. “Please let me know how much it costs and I’ll reimburse you.”
Ken returned her smile, interest firing up in his eyes as his gaze wandered over her. “No, don’t worry. I was going to throw them away anyway.”
“That’s very kind of you, thank you.” She handed over her keys with another smile, and Jake had to bite back a growl.
“Off you go, then, Ken. Make sure you lock up tight when you’re done.” He steered Ellie towards the stairs, conscious of being the cynosure of several eyes.
Jake told himself he didn’t care. Nope. Not one little bit.
#
Ten minutes later, Ellie sat in Jake's oak and granite styled kitchen. She took the mug of tea he held out and curled her chilled hands around the welcome heat. “Ben still doesn’t like me.”
Jake shrugged. “He’s a grown man. Besides you didn’t care what he thought of you when we were kids. Don’t tell me you care now.”
She glanced away and took a careful sip. “Childhood was a long time ago, Jake. In some ways it’s easier not to care when you’re young. I may not care what Ben thinks of me, but I’m not oblivious to the tension between you two when I’m around. Which was why I didn’t want…” she waved her hand around his vast kitchen.
“He’ll get over it.” He brought his own mug to the centre isle and sat across from her. “So, how’s—”
“How long—”
Jake waved her first.
“How long have you lived here? This place was just a crumbling old barn when I …twelve years ago.” The conversion was stunning. Situated right at the end of Prince Lane on a slight incline, the large wooden-framed windows looked out onto Coombe Forest. It was too dark to see much, but the view would be spectacular in the day. Inside, the high beams and lovingly polished wood gave the whole space comfort and an enveloping warmth that just oozed home and hearth.
The perfect place to bring up a family…
“It was built eight years ago. I bought it from the previous owners three years ago when they decided to move closer to the Lakes.”
“It’s a lovely place.”
“Thanks.” Jake took sip of his tea, then leaned forward. “My turn. How’s the big, bad cutthroat world of film critiquing?”
“I get to indulge my three passions – laying about, eating popcorn, and watching movies. Nothing cutthroat about it at all.”
“Come on. Some of the two star ratings you give make my eyes water. I’m surprised there isn’t a Hollywood hit-squad breaking down your door.”
She glanced up in surprise. “You read my column?”
His gaze met hers in a frank assessment and the barest hint of challenge. “Why are you surprised? Just because you erased me out of your life when you left twelve years ago doesn’t mean I’ve done the same.”
“I didn’t—”
“Yes, you did. You knew how I felt about you.” He set his mug aside and the friendly neighbourhood fireman persona disappeared. "You’ve always known how I felt about you. I thought we had a future together. One minute you were in my arms, telling me how much you wanted me…wanted for us to be together. The next minute, you were boarding a train to London. I swore I’d never ask, but I’ve changed my mind, Ellie. I need to know why you left me.”
Chapter Four
Ellie closed her eyes and tried to breathe past the rock of pain lodged in her chest. “Jake, don’t do this.”
She heard him move and knew the moment he stood at her side.
“Look at me, Ellie.”
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and turned in her seat. He’d discarded his heavy fireman jacket when they got to his house but he still wore the fire retardant trousers with the suspenders hooked over his powerful shoulders. She didn’t want to feel attracted to the whole package, but heat nevertheless spiked through the pain and sadness welling inside her.
“I told myself a million times that what happened didn’t matter; that you had a right to change your mind about us. We were both young and foolish, after all. But I’ve realised that it does matter. I need to know what happened, so I can move on.”
Her belly somersaulted. “What do you mean move on?”
He shrugged, and her gaze was drawn once again to the wide shoulders underneath the black T-shirt. Her fingers tightened around her mug.
“It took me a long time to realise I was measuring every relationship against what we had twelve years ago. I’d start out wanting it to be just as perfect, then when it didn’t turn out that way, I’d wonder if it was my fault…if I’d done anything to screw it up, the way I did with you.”
The hurt in his voice touched deep inside her. “Jake, you can’t live your life like that.”
His laugh was full of bitterness. “Trust me, I know, which is why I want you to tell me. Did I screw us up? Did I do something to drive you away?”
She reached out and touched his arm, and tried not to react outwardly to the sensation of his warm muscles moving under her fingers. “No. It was never you. What drove me away started long before you and I became friends and eventually, lovers.”
He frowned. “What was it, then? What was so bad you left and never returned?”
She swallowed, wanting to keep the secret she’d kept for so long from spilling out. But she owed Jake an explanation. She’d had no idea he felt so strongly about her leaving. Everyone else, her grandfather included, had been more than happy to see the back of her. To see the stain of the otherwise pure reputation of Coombethwaite Village removed once and for all.
“Ellie?”
“It was my mother, Jake. She turned up two weeks before my eighteenth birthday. She wanted me in her life. My grandfather told me I had to choose—him or her. I chose her.”
#
Jake reeled under the shocking revelation. “Your mother? But I thought…didn’t you tell me she’d died?”
Ellie nodded. “I thought she had. Turns out my grandfather made a deal with her. She was a struggling actress when she met my father. Some of the films she starred in were a bit…risqué. After he died, she couldn’t cope with her career and me. She asked my grandfather for help. He didn't approve of her profession but with my father gone, he only had me. He told her the only way he’d help was if she gave me up.”
“A
nd she did?”
“I don’t blame her. She honestly believed she was doing what was best. She had no idea Grandpa and I would clash from the day she left me with him. Or that I would end up being such a disappointment to him.”
“I don’t think you were…”
His heart twisted when the sad smile made a reappearance. “Of course I was. He told me that over and over again. He was expecting a biddable child. I had opinions, strong ones, which I was never afraid to act upon.” She gave a bitter laugh. “I actually fooled myself into thinking it would change when I got older but he only got worse. By the time my mother turned up, the weight of his disappointment had become so crushing, I had no choice but to leave.”
“You never said anything. Sure, I knew you were butting heads with the old man but all that time we were together, you never once said anything.”
“Being with you was my only escape. When I was with you, I could leave my troubles behind, pretend everything was fine.”
Her gaze slid away. Jake wanted to catch hold of her chin and tug it back to his. His hurt hadn’t abated. Despite everything she’d said, he still felt a hole inside him. “You still could’ve told me all of this later. You could’ve written or called and explained all of it instead of letting me think I’d failed you somehow.”
Her head bent forward and her shoulders slumped. “I know, and I’m sorry, Jake.”
The hurt intensified. “That’s it? I’m sorry, Jake is all I get?”
Her head jerked up. The thick lashes surrounding her beautiful eyes were damp with blinked back tears. But her face was set in determined lines meant to shut him out.
“That’s all I have to say. You wanted to know what happened so you can move on. And I’ve explained.” She stepped back from his grasp. He immediately berated himself for feeling the loss of her touch. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s been a long, hellish day, and I’d really like to get some sleep.”
Jake wanted to catch her back to him, to keep her talking until the tight band of pain around his chest was gone. But, looking down into her face, he saw the lines of strain and fatigue. Finding closure would have to wait a little while longer.
Gritting his teeth, he nodded. “I’ll show you to your room.”
The case she’d packed stood in the hallway. He picked it up and indicated she precede him up the stairs. The seductive shape of her pert backside told him he hadn’t quite lost all brain-to-groin communication when it came to the opposite sex, unlike Ben’s earlier allusion. By the time he showed her into the larger of the two guest bedrooms, he was thankful he still wore the lower half of his fire gear.
He set the case down at the bottom of the bed and watched Ellie turn around in full circle in the neatly decorated room. For the first time since he’d moved in, Jake looked at his house through another’s eyes and felt a sense of pride in what he’d achieved.
“This looks really lovely, Jake.” Her smile looked strained and he had the feeling she was trying to make amends for the abrupt end to their discussion. “In fact your whole house seems like the perfect place to bring up a family.”
Pride was swiftly replaced by bitterness. “Funny, that was my intention too when I got this place. But I’m beginning to wonder if that’ll ever happen. Sleep tight, Ellie.”
#
Sleep tight. Yeah, right.
Ellie stifled a yawn and followed the fire inspector into the fire-damaged cottage two days later. Behind her, Jake lurked in brooding silence.
He’d been polite but distant since the first night at his house. He hadn’t brought up the subject of their past and neither had she for fear of hurting him more than she already had. Her whole plan when she’d returned to bury her grandfather had been to let sleeping dogs lie.
Shame she had to go and cause a great big ruckus.
“So how long before I can get the workmen in?” she asked.
“The damage isn’t as extensive as I thought, so they can start right away. None of the support beams have been affected, so the repairs should be pretty straightforward. I’ll need to inspect after the wiring has been done and conduct a final inspection when everything’s completed.”
“I won’t be here by the time it’s all done, but I’ll make sure the estate agent allows you access.”
Jake gave a sharp intake of breath. Unable to resist, she glanced over her shoulder. Grey eyes bore into hers with an intensity that set her stomach fluttering.
She barely heard the rest of the inspector’s words as he finished his report and left.
“So you’re not even sticking around to see the repairs done?” Jake threw at her the moment they were alone.
“I have a job to return to, responsibilities to fulfil.”
His hands fisted in his pockets. “Of course. And a guy whose bed you're missing, no doubt?”
“Is that your way of asking if I have a boyfriend?”
His jaw tightened. “Do you?”
“No, I don’t.” She tried to get past him. His hands shot out of his pockets and restrained her in the doorway to the kitchen.
“Let me go.”
“Tell me what you meant by you won’t be around when the works are done. How long exactly were you intending to stay?” His probing gaze demanded an answer.
“My return ticket is for Saturday. I’m needed at work on Monday.”
He drew closer. His scent filled her nostrils, rushing to her head like a new and exhilarating drug.
“That's just five days from now. Christ, Ellie, if the fire hadn’t happened, would you have looked me up at all?”
“Jake, please…”
“Tell me. I need to know that you’d have come to see me, just for old times’ sake.”
“The old times didn’t end well for us, did they?”
His arms went around her and pulled her closer until her breasts touched his chest. Before she could stop herself, her hands slid around his shoulders.
“That depends on whether you choose to remember the bad times or the good times.” His lips descended.
Ellie held her breath. “Jake…”
“Right now, I’m choosing to remember the good times.”
His kiss shot fire straight through her. From the tips of her fingers to her toes, sensation engulfed her as Jake’s tongue plunged into her mouth with forceful demand.
A groan echoed around the smoke-singed room. She wasn’t sure whether it came from her or Jake. All she knew was the pleasure that washed over her, escalating until she felt liquid heat ooze between her thighs.
Jake cupped one breast in his hand as he propelled her back to trap her between the lintel and his hard-packed body. One hand plunged into her hair, stilling her for the further invasion of his mouth as his thumb teased her nipple. He swallowed her cry, his hips rocking into hers so she couldn’t mistake the evidence of his arousal.
Her fingers dug into his shoulder and with every atom of her being, Ellie wanted to experience the magic she’d felt once upon a time with Jake. He tweaked her nipple once more. A shudder raked through her body.
Jake froze. Slowly, he lifted his head, his gaze locked onto hers. The only sound in the room was of their harsh breathing as they stared at each other.
“We were friends long before we became lovers, Ellie,” Jake rasped. “I could seduce you into spending the next five days in my bed so we can relive the lovers’ part of our history. But I don’t think I can survive you walking away again if I let that happen.”
“I don’t want us to fight, Jake.”
“I know you don’t. Neither do I. Which is why I'm choosing the friendship route.” He dropped his hand from her breast and stepped away.
From the look in his eyes, Ellie had the feeling he was missing the contact just as much as she was. She licked her lips and forced herself not to reach for him. “What’s your plan?”
He took a deep breath and started out of the cottage. “The wedding party are hiking up the Black Coombe tomorrow, followed by a barbeque at the King'
s Head in the evening. Would you like to come with me?”
The chance to spend time with Jake instead of wallowing in a well of regret was very welcome. She summoned a smile “I’d love to.”
Chapter Five
“Keep up, slacker.”
“Shut up. Just because you eat mountains for breakfast doesn’t mean the rest of us feel inclined to rush up them at breakneck speed.”
Jake laughed and slowed his pace to match hers. Up ahead, about twenty-five members of Nick and Lizzie's wedding party were making their way towards the halfway point of Coombethwaite's famous mountain.
“You don't really lie about all day watching films, do you?"
“I wish. Each film I review requires a huge amount of research so I spend most of my time hunched over a computer or on the phone to studio contacts. One wrong piece of information and I’m toast.”
“But don’t you also attend movie premieres and interview celebrities?”
Ellie grimaced. “After the first few red carpets, it gets a bit tedious to be honest. And aside from the rare celebrity, they’re all as absorbed and diva-like as they try to pretend they’re not.”
Jake glanced her way when she sighed. “You sound like you're fed up with it all.”
She shrugged. “Not fed up, exactly. I just wish I could do my job without all the extra baggage that comes with it. But in a place like London, you have to go with the flow or sink. What about you? I never thought you’d make a career out of playing fireman to my damsel in distress. You’re very good at it by the way, Mr. Deputy Fire Chief.” She bumped shoulders with him.
He grinned down at her, flashing white teeth in the early morning sun. Something tugged hard in her chest. Jake Spencer’s dimples had always possessed the power to reduce her insides to putty. She tried to steel herself against them but found she couldn't look away.
“Hah, I loved it so much because back then, getting you to play dead was the only time I could get you to shut up.”
