by Romy Sommer
“Dance?” Cassie looked around. His friends were behind him but she didn't give them any more attention than anyone else in the room. Ben could only imagine them all falling about laughing at him. “With you?”
“Yes.” Ben forced the word out between gritted teeth. He couldn't give up now otherwise he would never hear the end of it. “Me and you. Dance together.”
“No,” she said so softly, he strained to hear her over the vibrating disco music. “I don't think that's a great idea.”
He leant down, putting his lips near her ear. “It's not a great idea, no. But if you don't dance with me I'll be forced to see if Little Ed has got a photo of you in those handcuffs he can put on the front page of next week's paper.”
Cassie gasped. “You wouldn't.”
“I would,” he assured her. “We need to dance together.”
He put out his hand. Her eyes narrowed, her confusion showing even as she took his hand and allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor.
“Why are you doing this?” She whispered.
“I have to.” He wished she wasn't so close all he could smell was the fruity shampoo she still used. The sweet smell tantalised him even after he drew himself up to his full height.
The music changed and the soft strains of a popular love song filled the room. Ben tried to hold in a heartfelt groan. Could this get any worse? It was bad enough he was there in the middle of the room with the whole village looking on with barely disguised interest without the music demanding he hold Cassie close.
“Let's get it over with,” Cassie said with a lack of enthusiasm that matched his own. “Then I expect both you and Little Ed to promise to destroy any pictorial evidence there may be.”
“Gladly,” Ben agreed while hoping his body didn't do anything to betray how much he would like to keep a photo of Cassie in handcuffs.
Her arms looped around his back, settling at the top of his belt. He reluctantly put his around her, the material of her dress smooth and satiny against his fingers.
Three minutes. Three minutes the song would last. He could do this.
Ben closed his eyes hoping his hands wouldn't slide down the soft fabric. He was barely holding it together while his hands were splayed over her back. If they slid down then he would definitely be in trouble. Every fibre of his being wanted to let his hands cup her round bottom and pull her hips in to nestle against his.
Right at that moment, Ben couldn't remember why sending her off to follow her dream had been such a great idea when he didn't want the song to ever end. He never wanted to let her go again.
Chapter Four
Cassie's hands rested lightly on Ben's belt, his large hands warm against her back. She wished she hadn't worn such a blatantly sexy dress—dungarees would’ve been better. Though, if she was honest with herself, she'd worn it because she wanted to show Ben what he'd lost.
The long buried desire to find out why exactly he'd dumped her surfaced. The old hurt and sense of betrayal burned in her gut. Over the years, she'd never been able to work it out. Ben had simply told her that he didn't love her any more but intuition told her there was a lot more to it than that. It was long past time to find out the truth.
She wiggled a little nearer. A muscle in Ben's back stiffened and he tried to pull away but Cassie tightened her grip on his belt. Although he'd said his feelings for her were gone, sexually there had been nothing wrong in their relationship. And judging by the bulge in his pants he was still attracted to her.
Cassie swayed her hips in time to the music, watching the tell-tale muscle in his jaw jump as he tried to keep himself under control.
“Something wrong?” she asked, blinking innocently.
“What the hell are you doing?” he responded through gritted teeth.
“Dancing.”
“You're gyrating.”
“Am not,” Cassie grinned up at him, moving her hips in a circle against his erection. “That's gyrating.”
“Crap!”
“You know,” she continued. “We could probably carry on with this later.”
“Later?”
“Yes, later,” she purred. “Just me and you. For old time's sake.”
“Not a good idea.”
“Why not?” Cassie slid one hand under his T-shirt and trailed a finger across his waist. “I can see you haven't brought a plus one with you, so there's no girlfriend to stop you.”
“I...”
“And I can tell you want to.” She would find out why he sent her off to London if it killed her. But making love with Ben, reviving all the feelings she'd tried so hard to forget, just might finish her off.
“We can't.” Ben shook his head, clearly trying to regain control of himself while his body told her a different story. “It would be an awful idea.”
“I think I have a spare set of handcuffs. Maybe we could put those to some use?”
He closed his eyes and Cassie knew exactly what was going through his mind. And it certainly wasn't him using industrial strength cutters to get her free from underneath her work desk.
“Walk out,” he hissed, pulling her in front of him and giving her a little shove in the back. “Get outside.”
His tone wasn't exactly friendly and a small frisson of unease skittered up her spine. Maybe getting him all overheated hadn't been such a great idea.
She smiled as she left the village hall, trying not to look intimidated or aware of the knowing glances of her friends and neighbours as they left together.
Ben took hold of her hand and they walked to the rear of the building.
He pointed at the wooden bench. “Sit.”
Cassie followed his demands even as her heart squeezed painfully. How could it be that after all this time she still loved him?
“Why?”
Even in the dim light, Cassie could see the tortured look in his grey eyes. Anger kicked in and overrode her upset.
“Why what? Dancing together was your idea, remember?”
He pulled a hand through his hair. “It was to settle a score.”
“Really?” Cassie injected as much scorn into the word as she could manage. “Some sort of stupid macho bet?”
Ben sighed. “Something like that.”
She blinked as hurt won the battle of her emotions. “That's all I'm worth to you?”
“No!” He sat beside her, pulling one of her hands into both of his. His thumb trailed a lazy pattern over the delicate bones in her wrist. “You're everything to me.”
His words stunned her and for a moment she was certain she'd heard him wrongly.
“I'm everything to you?”
He looked skywards as though he regretted saying the telling words. Finally he looked back at her, the way he'd always looked at her before he broke things off between them, the love evident on his face.
His head dipped. He was going to kiss her. She shivered slightly as his lips touched hers, despite it being a warm summer evening. The kiss was familiar, yet new, and her body reacted immediately. She'd told herself she hadn't missed him. He was simply her first love, the only boy to have kissed her and that was why she'd pined for him.
After she'd left, she'd kissed a good few more men before she'd admitted to herself that no one kissed quite like Ben. And he wasn't simply her teenage crush all grown up—he was the only man she was ever going to love with such fervour it sometimes scared her.
Even now, as she kissed him back, those scary feelings were returning. She shouldn't have come back because she looked set to let history repeat itself. He'd told her he didn't want her once. Why was she putting herself through it all over again?
Cassie pulled away, putting a hand on the broad expanse of his chest. “I can't do this again. You broke my heart once and I left because I couldn't bear to stay. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I need to ...”
“You left because I finished things between us?” He sounded as though that was the first time he'd ever considered such a notion. Of course that's why she left. She'd been
expecting him to propose when she came back from Uni, but instead he'd broken things off.
“Why else, Ben?”
“You had that job offer. You were going to leave anyway.”
“Wait.” Cassie pulled her hand away and stood up, putting as much distance between them as she could. “I told you about that job offer because we shared everything. I was never going to take it.”
“But it was your dream, you were so excited.” He shook his head as though trying to clear his ears. “You wanted to be a journalist at a national paper in London. That's what you worked for.”
“I can write stories anywhere,” Cassie turned away as whoops and shouts of joy came from the village hall. Inside, Lizzie and Nick were starting their lives together while hers was shattering all over again. “I wanted to stay and help you on the farm more than I ever wanted to leave.”
“You don't belong here.” His voice was harsh but Cassie heard the thread of despair laced through his words.
“So you sent me away?” She hardly dared ask the question but she needed to know the answer.
“Yes.” The single word seemed to be ripped from his throat.
“That wasn't your decision to make. We should have made it together.”
“I thought if you stayed you would regret it. Farm life is hardly easy. You needed to follow your dream.”
“And you needed to treat me as though I was capable of making my own decisions.” Cassie whirled around, pointing a finger at him. “This is the twenty first century. How dare you presume to tell me how to live my life?”
“It wasn't like that.” Ben pushed up from the bench and walked towards her. “I did it because I love you. I wanted you to be free.”
“Don't,” she held out a hand and he stopped. Cassie closed herself off to the devastation obvious in Ben's face. “Your nobility broke my heart.”
“Cassie, please, I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“If you'd ever known me at all, you would've known that what you did was the wrong thing. The most wrong thing.” Tears fell down her cheeks but she tried to hold back the wracking sobs threatening to break loose. “Stay away from me.”
She took off her high heels and ran towards the lane. How dare he make a decision for her that had changed the course of her life? They should be married now with a couple of babies. She definitely shouldn't be running home with her shoes in her hand like a teenager caught out after curfew.
Chapter Five
Ben headed towards the newspaper office. It was the middle of the day and people were milling about, doing their shopping and stopping to chat on the narrow pavements.
His stomach knotted as he noticed Mrs Cromaty across the road. She raised a hand in greeting and a knowing eyebrow. The whole of the village would know in two minutes flat that after their spat the previous evening Ben was going to smooth things over. Or so they thought.
Ben had actually watched and waited until Cassie left the newspaper office before he’d approached. What he was about to do was something he didn’t want her to have any knowledge of until he was ready.
He took a folded sheet of paper out of his jeans pocket as he entered the building. She was either going to think he was certifiable or love him forever. Whichever way it went, he was going to be the laughing stock of the village for goodness only knew how long.
“I’d like to place an advertisement in this week’s paper.” Ben announced.
“What type of advert?”
Ben was glad the owner of the paper stood the other side of the counter and not his irritating son. He wasn’t sure he could handle going through with his plan if he had to face Little Ed.
“Um ...” Ben gulped down his nerves. Faint heart never won fair maid. If he wanted Cassie in his life, permanently, he had to do this. He had to show her how sorry he was and the only way he could think to do that was humiliate himself. Completely. But she was totally worth it. “I guess in the lonely hearts column. Do you have one of those?”
Mr Swales eyed him suspiciously. “I would think a box of chocolates and a bunch of nice flowers would sort things out with Cassie. Has to be simpler than a lonely hearts advert.”
“I’m not sure chocolate and flowers are the way to Cassie’s heart.”
Mr Swales snorted through his nose. “And advertising for a girlfriend in the paper she works at is?”
“Maybe if you read what I’d like you to print you can decide where it should be best placed?” Ben had agonised for hours over the words he’d scrawled on the paper he handed to Mr Swales. They would decide his future—his and Cassie’s.
Mr Swales looked at the words, then back to Ben, his shaggy eyebrows rising to meet his receding hairline. “Really? You really want me to put exactly this into the paper?”
“Yes, I really do.” He spoke quickly before he could change his mind. “You think it will work?”
“Who knows, son. But it will certainly give everyone a laugh.”
“Great, you’ll send me the bill?” Ben backed out of the office, Mr Swales’s reply lost in the cacophony of laughter that followed him as he hurried away.
Oh God. What had he done?
Chapter Six
A week later, four days after the newspaper had been printed and distributed throughout the village, Ben had about given up on hearing from Cassie. His master plan at gaining her forgiveness had failed.
He picked up the folded paper from the counter in the milking shed. His own words stared back at him:
Lonely farmer seeks journalist who holds the key to his heart with a view to a permanent relationship. Apologises unreservedly for past arrogance and promises to have learnt from mistake.
He couldn’t go anywhere without fingers pointed at him and people sniggering behind their hands. And that was just the polite ones. He’d achieved utter humiliation but Cassie remained silent.
“Ben!”
He looked up at the shout of his name, taking time to let the cow he’d milked loose into the main pen. He would let her back out to the field when he'd dealt with the interruption.
Cassie strode through the milking shed, the heels of her boots clipping against the concrete floor.
“You’ve seen the paper then?”
He deserved whatever she wanted to throw at him. She was right. He'd been a high handed arrogant fool. His only defence was he'd been young then. Young and incredibly stupid. He'd never make that mistake now.
“Yes, I have. And I have an advert of my own.” Her eyes were bright as she smiled directly at him. The nervous swirling in his gut dissipated somewhat. “Read this.”
He took the paper she offered and scanned the headline before looking back to her.
“Read it!” She urged.
Ben's eyes followed the words but he couldn't make sense of it. He understood that she'd written an article she hoped would go into the local newspaper but what she'd written wasn't right.
“Cassie, I don't ...”
“What do you think?” She smiled, her enthusiasm infectious even as his brain struggled to process the information.
“I'm not sure you being here all the time would be such a great idea.” Ben searched for the right thing to say. “You'd be a distraction.”
“I would bloody well hope so!”
“But why would you want to do this?”
“Because I love you, you stupid man.” She stepped forward and took the sheet of paper from his hand. “Your mum and I talked about using the old barn as a bed and breakfast cottage for holidaying families. I guess she always thought I would do it when we got married.”
“She never said.” Ben looked away from Cassie towards the village and the graveyard in St Peter’s Church where his mother rested next to his father. “Why didn't she tell me your plans?”
“I think everyone simply expected us to get married and maybe she never thought she had to tell you about every single conversation we ever had. Maybe she meant to but there was never enough time?”
Cassi
e rubbed a hand over his forearm, the gesture comforting but her nearness robbed him of his ability to think logically. His mother had died after a three month struggle against a particularly aggressive form of cancer. He hated that he hadn't known his mother's plans before she died.
“She told me I should follow my heart.” Ben swept an arm around the farm. “And I did. I stayed on the farm. I've done everything I can to keep it going.”
She faltered at his words, taking a small step backwards. “You've done a good job. Your parents would be proud.”
“But I've been too proud to see exactly what my mum meant. I'd already sent you away when she died. I thought I needed to make a success of myself before I could ever think of coming after you and begging you to come back. I wanted there to be something for you to come back to.”
“There was you,” she whispered. “I would’ve come back for you.”
“But you've lived in a big city, had a great salary.” He looked at her clothes. He could probably keep the farm going for a month with the money her outfit had cost. “I couldn't expect you to come home to nothing.”
“Then you underestimate me.” She waved the paper in his face. “Again.”
“It takes money to get a business up and running. I don't have that kind of money.” He hardly dared hope there was a chance of them making it work. And yet, he would do anything to ensure she never left his side again.
“I do. It's called a redundancy package. And as your wife, my money would be your money. Your struggles would be mine.”
“My wife?” Ben repeated the words as a denial sprang to his lips. “But you're not ...”
“Ben,” she said patiently as though she were talking to a particularly difficult child. “I'm not your wife because you haven't asked me.”
“You'd want to marry me even after I've acted like such an idiot?” He indicated the paper she still held. “And you'd really run a bed and breakfast here to help the farm stay afloat?”
“Haven't I already written the article to let people know that's what we'll be doing here? Haven't I already contacted some of my old colleagues to make sure they'll write a nice Sunday feature about the popularity of farm holidays for families?”
