by May Peterson
Hei stood at the center, red and gold rays striping his face. His jacket was open, revealing a scant undershirt, and Kadzuhikhan was pacing a circle around him, as if inspecting him.
A detail stood out to me, as if suddenly, nauseatingly significant. Hei wasn’t wearing his pendant. If its blessing was meant to shield him from harm, then why—?
Hei’s voice rang, cool and tight, through the echoing room. “Are you really not going to search me for weapons?”
Kadzuhikhan trailed one palm over Hei’s head, cheek, down his neck. “Mm. Touching, that you think I’d care about your silvered dagger or whatever you’ve smuggled in here. But, no.” He tugged at the lapel of the jacket. “Off.”
I gulped. What the hell? Hei obeyed as if it were a matter of course, and began undoing his belt. Where the fuck was Umber?
As if plucking my thoughts from the air, Hei lifted his chin and said, “And your lord, great and feathery? When is he going to make his appearance?”
Kadzuhikhan’s chuckle sounded like metal being scraped. “He’s given me this honor.” His tongue lashed out, stroked his lips.
“Take me to him.” None of the stoniness had left Hei’s tone, but the flames seemed to be abating from him. “Please.”
“Heh.” Kadzuhikhan’s arms wound around his waist, pulled him closer. Hei appeared to tense, taking hold of his wrists, but he didn’t try to pull away. “Not yet. I wanted a chance to see what this is about myself. Especially given our...history.”
History? A gasp pried itself out of me, and Kadzuhikhan’s ear twitched. I hid my face, holding my breath. So I’d been right. Maybe Tamueji hadn’t caught Hei following the flock specifically as much as Kadzuhikhan. I already knew that meeting Kaiwan was not his only reason for being here—and whatever his final purpose was, it seemed to be more than simply shaking Umber from his tail.
“All right.” Hei sounded restrained, gritted. A peek over the edge revealed him now almost in Kadzuhikhan’s arms, a hand on the cat-soul’s chest creating space between them. “He knows my terms. I will deal with him directly, or not at all. I can always just leave Serenity.”
It felt like being kicked in the chest. The Hei that had been in my bed had seemed so determined to find the center of this labyrinth, stay here until he’d seen his quest through. Had it all been a lie? Some strange bargain with Umber?
“Awww.” Kadzuhikhan’s purr was almost palpable from here. “You do seem so married to the idea of your own importance. As if we couldn’t find another to do this anywhere in the world.”
Hei paused. “Then let go of me.”
“There, there.” Kadzuhikhan was nuzzling his cheek, tongue flashing out to touch his ear, chin, throat. “I figured I could show you that I know how to play nice. Very nice. And haste is not a good look for you.”
Hei wilted into Kadzuhikhan’s embrace, face buried against his collarbone. A deep sigh moved through him. “Fine.” Now, as Kadzuhikhan began plying him with kisses, he seemed to relax, melt under them. His head tilted back, revealing his throat.
My heart was laying siege to my rib cage. Visions seared into harsh substance—Hei and Kadzuhikhan, having staged the attack on the night I intervened. Hei’s stories about his past, contrived to evoke sympathy in me. Tamueji, feeding me clues to enmesh me in the illusion that I knew what was happening. Then why this? There seemed no purpose to this ruse except to entwine me more tightly in uncertainty.
A wail of pleasure rocked Hei, stirring images of him under me, staining the connection I’d thought we shared. He seized Kadzuhikhan by the hair, as if begging him to slow down. “Wait. There’s something...something I want. I’ve wanted it for a long time. Especially from you.”
Kadzuhikhan growled in his chest, yanking off the trousers clustered around Hei’s knees. “Mm. I’m all ears.”
“I...want you to drink my blood.” Hei sounded breathless. “I really like for a lot of it to be taken. Until I’m dizzy. Please.”
Kadzuhikhan laughed like victory, scouring my senses. I couldn’t watch this, but it seemed physically impossible to pull my eyes away. The thought burned through my mind that if I kept watching, I’d see Hei as he really was. See the root of my strange obsession with him, the secrets underneath his combination of sweetness and bitterness.
I remembered how he hadn’t wanted me to drink from him. I could no longer tell which perceptions were dreamlike and which ones were solid. But something—a sister to hope or fear—was gnawing at the pit of my gut. Why hadn’t he—?
Hei squirmed against Kadzuhikhan’s bulk for a stretch of time, rough animal noises consuming the sounds of breath and kissing. Hei had been stripped almost completely above the waist, his shirt torn down the side. He bared the side of his shoulder, as if beckoning Kadzuhikhan there. The cat-soul rumbled a trail of amusement, snaking up the lines of Hei’s body and bringing his fangs to rest between throat and collarbone. “There,” Hei gasped.
The next seconds blurred together, the details of Kadzuhikhan penetrating his flesh hazy. Hei spasmed, breath rising, and Kadzuhikhan seemed almost to be eating him, chewing through to his heart. But the motions remained confined to that place under his neck, a bright flare of red slashing down the side of Hei’s torso. Their rhythm was almost erotic—
—until Kadzuhikhan reeled back, hissing and shouting. He shoved Hei away as if he’d been burned, but Hei alighted easily on the balls of his feet. Kadzuhikhan swabbed at his mouth, snarling. “Holy fuck. What the hell did you—?”
Kadzuhikhan paused to hack into his hands. Hei stood within his perfect stillness once more, the diamond aura of the mountain pulsing from him. Now the minutes ground to a trickle, gathering with urgency around Hei. He took hold of the tear in his shirt, ripped the fabric from him. There, as gold and candy-red bars of light fell on his chest, as the blood at the bite mark glowed—it was like he was emerging from behind a mask. I might have expected him to shift shape, for all a new person seemed to be glaring from behind his eyes.
It clicked together, the whir and snap of memory. Mortals filling up with silver-lined water to intoxicate those who drank from them. Hei downing a whole bottle of water before entering. The stone no longer at his neck, the aura of virtue that stone exuded.
He’d poisoned himself—with a substance harmless to mortals. He might have been suffusing his bloodstream with it the entire time he’d been here, and thus hadn’t wanted me to taste it. And Kadzuhikhan had just taken a deep draught.
My eyes widened, absorbing the sight of him. Arms slick with that shocking beauty, muscles trembling with energy. And a sheaf of bandages wrapped tightly around his midsection—they looked slightly damp in the gem-glow, and an ephemeral blue radiance seeped from them.
Oh, god. The water.
Kadzuhikhan roused himself, having spit a pool on the floor. “You arrogant, throw-away little bitch. And here I was going to let it be good for you.”
He thrust a claw forward with such speed the air seemed to crack. But Hei moved like he was made of fire, flipping backward onto his hands, the blow grazing his side—and hitting right into the dampened wrap. The hiss of silver-burn announced the contact, and Kadzuhikhan recoiled with a yelp.
Shit. What was that?
Hei completed his arc in the air, swirling agilely to pitch forward—and crush the heel of his boot into Kadzuhikhan’s forehead.
Time regained its fluidity, my mind catching up to the turn in reality. Kadzuhikhan doubled back, slipping to his hands and knees, and Hei tangled himself around the cat-soul’s shoulders. They became a knot of clenched movement, Kadzuhikhan’s strokes blistering with force, but unable to seize a hold that wasn’t hot with poison. Hei smeared hands over his bloody shoulder, jabbed crimson-stained fingers into the bigger man’s eye.
A shriek echoed in the warehouse before Hei rolled off, skidding back on his heels. Kadzuhikhan was sluggish, teetering, the dose Hei
had given him apparently enough to dull his reflexes. But even in light of that, I had never seen a mortal challenger match a living-again foe with such agility and grace. Nor the absolute purity of fury that plumed from Hei like steam.
I stood, no longer caring if I was seen. Realizations were mounting in my belly, behind my thoughts. Hei had come here for this—not just to this meeting, but to Serenity.
I am well on my way to my task being complete.
Hei dropped into a fighting stance, quickly unspooling some of the fabric from his abdomen and spiraling it around his fists. Bruises decorated his delicate skin, along with the still fresh smears of his own blood. But somehow he looked untouchable, invincible, squaring off there against a moon-soul double his size.
Kadzuhikhan was breathing heavy, but he righted himself; from here, I could see the damage Hei had done to his eye, far deeper than a mere poke. Blood oozed from the socket, and the wound was visibly healing...but slower than I’d expected. Whatever essence sung now in Hei’s blood, it had potency beyond any silver draught.
Hei’s grin was like a slash of lightning. “You can still make it good for me, old friend. Put up a fight.” He gestured with one hand.
Grimly, Kadzuhikhan pulled his sword from its sheath. The silver cut the dimness of the room. Poising the blade, he lunged.
Hei either had to draw another trick from thin air, or be driven back to avoid being cut in two. He couldn’t dodge a deadly weapon indefinitely, no matter how skilled he was at confusing his opponent. But he slid into Kadzuhikhan’s assault, and only the fineness of my vision allowed me to catch it—pulling one bandage loose, catching it in the other hand.
Hei dropped to a roll, the cloth looping up and snaring the dull side of the blade mid motion. I barely traced the movement, it was so precise. But it allowed him to hunch just to Kadzuhikhan’s side, and snap the sword from his grip as the distance between them increased. Kadzuhikhan gasped. Two more swipes shunted the blade a meter or so off, and brought the tightened fabric exactly where Hei had wanted—right against Kadzuhikhan’s feet. The elaborate arc had resulted in a loose knot, seizing around Kadzuhikhan’s bared ankle.
I leaned through the window’s broken pane, fixated on the dance between them. Tripping Kadzuhikhan led to another frenzied attack, which Hei took with a groan, then answered with a volley of blows to the face. It drove the cat-soul back enough to detach them, and the next steps began. Kadzuhikhan wasn’t a wild-swinging brute, but some combination of poisoning, surprise, and Hei’s sheer skill had him wavering and on the defensive. The impossibility of it staggered me.
Hei might win.
And that thought turned the wind, cut a divide in the mist. Images of Hei’s face burned through, spotting my consciousness with fragile stars. I’d so desperately wanted to see him for who he was, because I was exhausted with not having anyone to trust. And I wanted proof that it was possible, that someone could descend into this abyss and remain whole. The tender, shameful hope I nurtured in the core of my emptiness: that he could lead me out. That I would have someone to give my afterlife meaning. This was him, shining before me at last, this vengeful, heartbroken angel. And I was—I was...
The tide of battle shifted while I watched. Kadzuhikhan was recovering his senses, adapting to Hei’s tactics. He ignored the sword, waited for Hei’s forward motions and grabbed him. Hei wriggled free, the burn of his blessed cloth acting like spined armor, but Kadzuhikhan’s repeated grappling attempts grew harder to avoid. He snared his legs, binding them together with one arm. Hei spat blood, as if he’d bit down on his own tongue, and Kadzuhikhan was forced to swipe at his eyes.
He could make it, if Kadzuhikhan lost his upper hand. But the cat-soul must win in a contest of strength. Unless...
It didn’t matter what or who I’d been. Not anymore. I had mourned too long for an Ari that I would never get back.
This was who I was now.
I kicked in the glass, shouting into the resulting storm of notes—“Kadzuhikhan!”
It dragged both of their gazes to me, stunning them mid-struggle. Hei’s face was washed with shock that bordered on awe. Kadzuhikhan’s was gnarled with outrage. But Hei shook his reaction first—and pulled one arm free enough to stab a bloody thumb into Kadzuhikhan’s wounded eye.
I didn’t wait for him to free himself before hurtling down into the fray. Kadzuhikhan recouped more quickly this time—possibly the poisoning wearing off—but not soon enough to avoid me colliding with his bulk. I glided on retracted wings, hitting so suddenly that we instantly careened over the dusty floor, my grip tight around his neck. His snarls radiated rage more than pain, and claws ravaged my arms and back. He found purchase there and began shredding my outer feathers, as if trying to yank my wings off. We rolled to a stop with him poised on top of me, pinning one wing under a claw. He bellowed, Hei’s blood in his eye. I was too slow to prevent the blizzard of scratches to my face, but I pulled one wing up in defense, muscling him to the side and slipping out from under him.
He was stronger than me, but I was slightly bigger, and I would always heal faster. And I could heal Hei—which had to be my first priority. Kadzuhikhan crouched paces away from me, growling as if we were two beasts who’d come across each other in a wood. His posture resonated cat, and the gaze he fixed on me was hungry.
“You’re easy as fuck to play, friend.” He spat blood into the dust. I saw, with stunning urgency, that Lightray was near his back-stretched paw. And his tail nudged the scabbard closer. “Umber figured you’d lose your shit over this pup. Guess we have our one stone for two birds.”
The admission filtered through the rest of the chaos, something I’d have to massage into meaning later. Hei was gathering himself at an angle to us, more of his blessed cord loose in his hand. Kadzuhikhan had his weapon raised, and I tensed for a strike—except he didn’t move forward. Instead, he tipped back, as if ducking—and vanished.
“Watch your back.” My voice echoed hoarsely. His cat-step was fast, though my understanding was that it took effort to trigger it. He may not be able to slip back into space instantly. Hei circled closer to me, limbs pulled in defensively.
“Where did he go?” Hei’s breath was coming fast. As he approached, I yanked him into an embrace. The ambiguity between made the closeness a bit frightening, but I needed physical contact.
And my mind went blank for a moment as I seized the damp cloth around him. The sensations of hot silver and sunlight, full strength, ran up my arm. I retreated instinctively, but kept my hand on his wounded shoulder. There’d only be a second to heal him, but that hurt. He stared up at me, stunned, but I didn’t let go. A wave of cool energy lapped up my arm, and before my next breath, his wounds began to close.
“To the Deep; don’t drop your guard. What the fuck is that?”
He might have answered—but then, sound overcame me. A whistle like the air was being shredded. I hit the floor on reflex, shoving Hei away. And the flash of a blade clove between us, grazing my outstretched arm. The speed of my reaction was all that’d kept me, and maybe Hei, from being skewered.
Kadzuhikhan glared down at me from his bloodstained eyes, lifting the sword for a downward stroke. Hei was almost as quick—a barrage of cloth bands swarmed over Kadzuhikhan, catching his arm and neck. Now that I’d felt the sting of that substance, I understood why his eyes blew wide, and he dropped Lightray before slipping back into oblivion.
I was still reeling from my brush with Hei’s weapon, but I snagged the silver weapon as it thudded to the floor. Its burn was less severe in my palm. But it would make the difference of advantage. A surprise puncture wound could kill Hei before I got to him.
No time remained to marshal a formation. It was a game of don’t-blink—Kadzuhikhan rushed out of the nothingness, a vicious black streak that congealed into a catlike paw, knocking me to the floor. I prepared for a continued assault to attempt at the sword, but he v
anished as quickly as he appeared. Hei was more vulnerable than me if he couldn’t snare Kadzuhikhan. I jumped to my feet, raised the sword by its blade—and swung it across the gap between me and Hei.
“Hei!” I waited until his eyes met mine before letting go. “Catch!”
The next second was like the swing of an axe. Hei stretched to his full height, leaping to catch the scabbard. As he did, shadows tore at his back, Kadzuhikhan emerging like quicksilver. An arm shot out like a battering ram—
—and Hei whirled midair, the arc of the blade meeting the incoming blow. The contact was like thunder cracking. In a spray of light and blood, Hei shouted, and Kadzuhikhan’s severed arm flew from his body.
Shadows devoured him on a muffled scream. The sight dazed me. He could regrow the arm, but a wound like that was usually a fight-ender. It still hadn’t stopped his escape.
Hei heaved with exertion, but he pounced on the arm, raising it in his free hand. Blood slicked his skin. “You want this back, you ridiculous fuck?”
If a way existed to track a cat-stepper, I didn’t know it. The entire atmosphere of the room tasted like ash, ready to catch black fire at any moment. The emotional weight of what I was doing was making my limbs heavy, numbing my senses. Kadzuhikhan. This was it. He’d never forgive me for this betrayal, and it would be impossible to hide it.
Then the air split again, Deep-substance taking shape against the wall. In the natural shadows, Kadzuhikhan’s silhouette was hardening—and missing an arm. Pure venom gleamed from the pits of his eyes.
I thought he might rail at me, mock me, punitively narrate the delightful web he and Umber had woven for me. Or that he would fly at Hei with vengeance. Instead, he stood where he was—but the shadows condensed around him, as if he were growing. And the rumble of animal pain that ripped from him confirmed that was exactly what he was doing.
