by Dani Lovell
"Well, we gotta move, then, because I need kissing, baby."
"You need something else too, judging by the bulge digging into my belly..." I say with a salacious grin on my face.
"That's always the case, when it comes to you, Beatrice."
"I'll take whatever you're offering. I can't get enough of you."
"Did you enjoy earlier? With the sauce?" he asks, and I think back to all of the licking and sucking from a couple of hours ago. Mmm, it was incredible.
"Oh, I more than enjoyed it."
"You're so shy when I do that," he says and I squirm.
"Well, you know..."
"No, I don't. Why are you shy?"
"Oh, Daniel, do we have to talk about this?" I grumble.
Daniel props himself up on his elbows and looks down at me, frowning. "Yes, we do, Bea. What's up?"
"Nothing's up, Daniel. I'm just shy when it comes to you looking down there. It's not the nicest part of a ladies body, is it?"
"Are you kidding me?" Daniel cries, "You're beautiful, I love it. It's one of my favourite parts of you, I could spend a week with my head between your legs." I flush scarlet. This is too embarrassing, my god. "People have told you that before, surely?"
"Look, to be honest, Daniel, Dylan was never really into it, he didn't like venturing 'down under' and we probably only did it a couple of times while we were together. After that, I always avoided it really. Whenever someone has done... that, I've just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over. It makes me really uncomfortable, vaginas are so ugly, Daniel, I don't know how you do it."
Daniel has a look of disbelief on his face as he strokes his chin with his fingers. "So, when I've been down there, loving every minute, you've been clenching your eyes shut, waiting for it to be over? It seemed, to me, like you were enjoying yourself."
"It's different with you, Daniel, you seem to be some sort of expert and it's amazing. I really do enjoy it, although I still wonder what you're thinking when you gaze at it the way you do. You can't call a vagina, pretty."
"Is a penis pretty? Hell, no! Yet you happily gaze at that, I can assure you, your bits are a hell of a lot prettier than mine. Baby, I love it, I really do. I could gaze at it all day. I wish I could!"
Oh god, I cover my face with my hands, this is so embarrassing.
"I mean it, please don't hide," he pleads, pulling my hands from my face, "you're beautiful, baby, everywhere. Whatever your ex said, forget it, he's an ass who obviously can't appreciate something special. I'm telling you, you're beautiful, believe me, please? You must understand that he is not normal, just because he didn't like it, it doesn't mean there's anything ugly about you. I mean seriously, a couple of times in five years? The guy was loco! But we know that already," he adds, under his breath.
My word, he really does like it. He 'loves' my va-j-j and wants to spend all day gazing at it. He desperately wants me to feel less self conscious, and is doing a pretty damn good job of it. "Thank you, Daniel. You're the only person I'd let spend a day in my lady garden. You're welcome back, anytime."
He laughs and tightens his arms around me. "God, you're incredible." He gazes at me, saying nothing. A few moments pass and I wonder what the hell he's thinking because he's just staring at me in total silence.
"So... shall I clean my teeth then?" I ask, breaking the silence as Daniel looks away and then back at me with a totally different expression. Now he's smiling, sweetly.
"Yes, baby. Then I'd like to kiss you non-stop until it's time to get some dinner."
"I'm up for that!" I reply as I slowly pull myself away from his warm, delectable body. I stretch and yawn before making my way to his en-suite, completely naked. Daniel joins me at the vanity, beautifully naked, and starts to brush his gorgeous, sparkly, white teeth. He smiles at me, mouth full of foam, and stands behind me with one hand resting on my belly. He pulls me close and closes his eyes, briefly. Butterflies flutter in my tummy. I love you.
We spit and rinse and make our way back into the living area. Daniel grabs me by the hand as we pass the kitchen and pulls me into a warm, muscular embrace, holding me firmly. He gazes into my eyes and kisses me, tenderly, his tongue slowly caressing mine. I rise onto tip toes and wrap my arms around his neck, returning every ounce of his affection. A small moan involuntarily escapes me, as Daniel presses his hand firmly at the small of my back, holding me against his muscular body.
He slows the kiss and gradually breaks away. His eyes closed, he runs his nose up and down mine. "Mmm," he murmurs.
"Mmm," I echo, grinning.
"Stay? Please, please stay? I need you here, I want you so much."
I look down, frowning, it would be so easy to say yes. But I just can't. "I want to say yes, so much. I need you too, Daniel, I want to stay with you, I want to stay here. I love it here."
Daniel's eyes remain passive. He lets out a long sigh and rests his forehead against mine. "I'm going to find a way, baby."
"I hope so, darling. I really do. I'd say I'd wait for you, but I don't think it's wise for us to make a commitment like that when we can't see any future."
"I wouldn't ask you to, baby. Although I can't bear to think of you out on a date with some schmuck. Promise me you won't let any assholes near you?"
I smile at him, he's just adorable. "Cross my heart. And the same goes for you, no gold-digging whores."
He grins at me. "Done. No one will be good enough after you, anyway."
I am starting to wonder if - maybe - he does love me. Many of the things he says point to it, but I'm probably looking into it too much, being over-optimistic. I mean, no one falls in love after a week. Except me. It'd be too much to hope that Daniel had done the same. I know he feels strongly for me, I believe everything he says and I don't think he acts like this with any old passing tourist, but I don't think he could have fallen in love, as much as I want him to. It's kind of irrelevant anyway, it's not like we can be together.
"What do you want to do, baby?" He asks, still holding me, leaning against the breakfast bar.
I don't hesitate with my answer. "I want to make love, baby." I kiss him softly on his neck, over and over.
I can hear the smile in his response, "You do? You don't want to 'fuck' now?"
I continue kissing his neck. "As much as I enjoyed 'fucking' earlier, because - let's face it - it was damned hot, now I want you to make love to me. Sweet, slow, Daniel love."
"Baby, I want nothing more," he says as he grasps my behind.
"Take me back to bed?" I ask and Daniel immediately sweeps me off my feet, carries me to his bed where he crawls on top of the mattress and gently lowers me. He leans over me and strokes my face with the backs of his fingers.
"You know, your asshole-ex had everything I could ever want. He had you, he had five whole years of you loving him, being faithful to him, making love to him. And he threw it all away. I bet he regrets what a dick he was every day of his life. I've only had you for a week or so and I can't bear to think what I'll do without you. He wants you back, doesn't he?"
"Well, we had the conversation a few times a while back, he still asks after me when he sees the girls out and stuff like that. They think he does but he has a girlfriend, who hates me - incidentally - so I don't think he still does."
"He does," Daniel says, sharply, his face serious, almost angry.
"Hey, what's the matter?" I stroke his face and he closes his eyes.
"I can't do it, Bea, thinking of you at home, of that mother fucker coming on to you, wanting you and begging you to go back to him. The thought makes me feel sick," he says, disgust is his expression. Oh my, where has this come from?
"Daniel, he's done all that already, I said no and I always will say no. I'll never get back with him. It wasn't right, and anyway, he has his girlfriend now, he won't ask again."
"And she hates you, baby, because she knows he wants you. More than her."
"I don't necessarily think that's true, darling, but either way, it's irrelevant. I have no feelings
for him. I feel for you, a gazillion times what I feel for him. I'm more likely to be with you, living over five thousand miles apart, than I ever am, to get back with Dylan. Ok?" I ask, running my fingertips down his cheek.
"I need you. I want you with me, every day."
"Look, Daniel, please don't do this. I want that so much, more than you know. You don't understand just how painful tomorrow is going to be for me, in fact, just talking about it now is making me want to cry," my voice wobbles as I speak, my eyes prickly as the tears begin to well above my lashes.
As one escapes, trickling down my cheek, Daniel closes his eyes briefly and frowns. "Oh, baby, please don't cry, I'm sorry. I... I just... I can't..."
"I know Daniel," I say through a sob, "it's ok, it's just hard to leave, you know? Leave you, leave all this..." I wave my hand around at his beautiful apartment, "leave Hollywood, I love it here. I love it all." And you, my darling Daniel, especially you, more than any of it.
"I know, baby. I'm sorry for bringing it all up. I just..." he shakes his head and gazes into my eyes, his beautiful eyes look pained and exhausted.
"I know," I respond, caressing his stubble with my fingertips. I move my fingers slowly around the back of his neck, pulling his face down to meet mine. Instead of kissing my mouth, he gently presses his lips against my wet cheek, slowly caressing away my tears with his beautiful mouth. It's so intimate, so close, so loving.
He moves slowly, gradually moving down to my throat - soft, gentle open-mouth kisses. I moan quietly, running my fingers through his hair, his touch so soothing, kissing away my sadness, making me want him, love him even more.
"Daniel," I whisper, "I..." Tell him... tell him!
"Mmm, baby?"
"I will miss you so much." I can't.
"Me too, baby," his voice warm and calming, "you mean so much to me."
"I'll never forget you."
"I won't let you. I told you, I'm going to find a way."
I close my eyes and smile, letting myself believe, for a moment, that he will come up with a plan. "Yes. We'll be together, like this. We'll kiss every day, I'll see your smile every day, you can make love to me..."
"Every day, baby." He moves one of his hands slowly down my body, over my breast, making me gasp, and down over my hip to my thigh. He skims over to my inner thigh before slowly gliding his fingers back up to hover over me, I can feel the heat from his hand before his fingers gently stroke me, there. I arch my back and groan.
"Mmm, Daniel..." I murmur as I hold his face with my hands.
He lowers to lay a soft kiss on my lips, still lightly circling my clitoris. He kisses me so gently, so slowly, matching the movement of his fingers. I raise my knees either side of his body and wrap my legs around him, inviting him, I want him. "Bea, baby," he murmurs as he pushes his fingers inside me.
"Oh god!" I cry, throwing my head back into the pillow, "Please, make love to me."
He moves his fingers away and I feel the tip of his erection. I grab his neck and press my mouth against his, forcefully, my tongue fervently searching his. He groans loudly and slowly eases himself into me, deeper and deeper.
He moves gently, kissing me intensely, passionately. I close my eyes, savouring the feel of him deep inside me, the feel of his tongue on mine, his body moving against my skin. My hands explore his sculptured back, my fingertips rippling over his taut muscles.
"All I want to do is make love to you, baby," he says, his voice strained, full of emotion.
"We are, we're making love, Daniel." My eyes search for his. "Look at me," I whisper, and his stunning turquoise eyes gaze into mine, I can see the longing, he needs me too.
I hold his darling face. "Daniel, we're making love. I am making love... with you." I'm telling him. Maybe not outright 'I love you'', but I'm telling him in my own way. Yet another tear escapes over my lashes, telling him I love him, in not so many words. I can't help the tidal wave of emotion crashing through me.
He gazes at me and smiles a beautiful, sad, Daniel smile. "Me too, baby. With you."
Daniel makes slow, meaningful, incredible love to me and it's beautiful. I've never experienced feelings like this before, I think this is my first time, truly making love. And quite possibly, my last. We lay in each other's arms, gazing at each other, I don't want to let go of him, I don't want to stop touching. I make the decision to try not to cry anymore, I'll do enough of that when I'm gone.
I stroke my fingers up and down his impressive bicep as he lays on his side, facing me, his hand over my waist, gently circling my lower vertebrae. "Are you cold, baby? Shall I get the comforter from the sofa?" He asks.
"I'm fine, thank you, sexy. You can cuddle me if I get cold."
"We should grab some dinner soon, if you're hungry, it's almost eight thirty."
"I'm not hungry, lunch filled me up. I could forego dinner."
"Ok, we can always get a snack later. What would you like to do?"
"Lay here. Cuddle you. Make the most of you."
Daniel smiles at me and pulls me against his body, and I wrap my leg over his. "That's fine by me, baby."
I wrap my arm around his torso tightly and squeeze him. "Mmm, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel." I breath against his chest. He smells wonderful. "Daniel...?" I look up to his face.
"Yes, baby?"
"Can you spray some of your aftershave on something of mine so that I can smell it when I miss you?"
He grins and kisses my nose. "Of course, baby. But what am I going to smell when I miss you?"
"You'll have to hop on a plane and come and smell me."
"Is that allowed?"
"Hmm, I suppose not. But if you happen to be in the UK on business, I think it'd be ok for you to come and smell me."
"And if you've moved on by then?"
"I can't see that happening for quite some time, darling, but I think I'd still want you to come and see me. I'd have to be unfaithful to whoever the new bloke is."
"You couldn't resist me, huh?"
"Definitely not," I say as I run my fingers up and down his gorgeous back, "you're always going to be the one that I compare new men to. If I date someone and you turn up... poor them."
He grins. "Just don't date anyone. Then I'll be happy."
"I didn't date you and look what happened."
"Hmm. Ok, just don't flirt with, hold hands with, press up against, kiss, pash, fuck, make love to... anyone other than me."
I giggle. "Ok, if the same goes for you and any other girls, then we have a deal."
"Done."
We both laugh and he kisses me, softly. "If I could really make you agree to that, I'd be happier."
We continue to hold each other and talk 'what ifs' for much of the night. Daniel fetches the duvet from the lounge and we fall asleep underneath it, wrapped in each other.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
SUNDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER
Daniel kisses my face as I stir. I'm sad, my chest convulses with a small sob. "It's ok, baby. Shh."
I open my eyes and look straight at his concerned face.
"Are you ok, sweetheart? What were you dreaming about?"
I pause for a moment, frowning. I'm not sure. "I don't know... but I can probably guess." I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. "Good morning," I smile and squeeze him, pulling closer.
"Good morning, baby," he smiles, "you were really whimpering, it took a while to wake you."
"I'm ok." I reach my hand to his face and stroke his cheek. "I love waking up next to you."
"Me too," he says, kissing my nose.
"I'm so glad my flight isn't until tonight. I'll need to go back to pack at some point."
"Ok, should we do that first? Then we can have the day together, knowing it's done."
"Good idea but I don't want to get out of bed just yet, I want to make the most of it."
"Ok, baby," he says softly, holding me close, "let's lie here for a while, then have a bath and get ready." He looks over to the alarm clock on the bedside table. "I
t's early, only seven thirty. We have plenty of time."
"Mmm, good. Let's do that, and then you can take me out for brunch."
"Sounds good, baby. I know just the place."
I nuzzle into his chest, remembering that I, sort of, told him last night, and if I recall correctly, he said the same back. I wonder if he was talking in code too, he probably didn't even realise what I meant.
"Baby..." Daniel murmurs in his terribly sexy, deep morning voice.
"Sexy?"
"I miss you already."
I look up into his face and smile. "I'm still here, darling. Enjoy it, I am."
"I'm trying, baby," he says as he runs his fingers down my cheek and kisses my forehead, "you're so special to me."
"So are you, to me, Daniel."
I realise that this is the calm before the storm, I'm in heaven now, wrapped in his arms, listening to his lovely voice, but tonight, I will be in hell, desperately needing him but knowing I can't have him. God, I really love him so much. How is this even possible? It's fucking sods law. I meet the man of my dreams, who happens to think I'm amazing, I manage to fall in love with him in a week and now I have to leave him, forever.
"I'm going to clean my teeth so we can have a little pash fest. Sound good?"
Daniel chuckles and squeezes me tightly. "Sounds perfect, baby. Would you like tea?"
"I'd love tea, thank you." We tear ourselves away from each other and Daniel strolls out of the bedroom, totally naked, to put the kettle on. I admire the view of his gorgeous behind before I head to the bathroom.
He joins me in there shortly after, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me against his chest. I look in the mirror at our naked bodies touching, Daniel's hand holding onto me, my spare hand wrapped around his bicep near my face, and think just how well we mesh together. We're really made for each other.
I wonder what he's thinking as he gazes at me in the mirror, his eyes warm and affectionate, full of... lust? Longing? Love? I don't know, but whatever it is, he could look at me like that for the rest of my life and I'd be the happiest woman in the world. He makes me so happy, but at the same time, so very sad, because I love him so much. I love him and I can't have him. Who'd have thought that falling in love could be such a sad thing.
