by Kate Ryder
It’s hard to believe that Hunter’s Moon is only thirty miles from the centre of London, so peaceful and timeless is the scene he’s just witnessed. How fortunate they were to have found this substantial house with accompanying land so early on in their married life. Set on the edge of an affluent village in the Surrey Hills, close enough to the airports to enable him to continue his international career with ease, the property has provided a haven in which his family has led as normal a life as possible; one grounded in the countryside and away from the excesses surrounding his chosen career. But the children are growing up fast. What will it be like living here without them? He glances up at the ornate chimneys rising above the roofline, reaching to the clear blue sky. Will Deanna and he rattle around in it, only passing in hallways that resound with the haunting echoes of children who used to inhabit its spaces? As the ‘grey mist’ threatens to descend, with superhuman effort Oliver casts aside the seeping, nagging doubts. Stepping up onto the stone terrace, he takes one last look down to the lake before opening the back door. Sebastian and Jamie sit at the kitchen table.
‘Hey, Dad, is it you or Mum taking me to football practice this morning?’ asks Sebastian through a mouthful of cornflakes.
‘Probably me,’ says Oliver. ‘Your mother has a few things to do today.’
‘Can I come with you?’ asks Jamie.
‘Sure.’
The young lad beams.
‘Be ready in an hour,’ Oliver says, glancing up at the wall clock as he exits the kitchen.
He makes his way to his study and checks his emails. The most interesting one is from Zennor, saying she will be at the old coastguard cottages on Saturday to hand over the keys. He replies, advising that he expects to be on The Lizard around eleven, traffic permitting. She immediately responds with a large smiley face emoji. He glances up at Cara’s paintings, as he always does, before leaving his study. Checking the other downstairs rooms, he eventually discovers Deanna in the cinema room rifling through a number of DVDs.
‘What are you looking for?’ Oliver enquires.
She doesn’t immediately respond and a sickeningly familiar knot forms in his stomach.
Deanna focuses on the task in hand. ‘I’m looking for a film one of the actors has featured in.’
‘Oh, who’s that?’ Oliver asks with interest.
‘Just someone who’s recently joined the company,’ she replies without looking up. ‘Ah, here it is! I knew I’d seen it somewhere.’ Turning the DVD case over in her hand, Deanna studies the blurb on the back.
Oliver perches on the arm of a couch. The room is a glorious space, stylish and elegant, with floor-to-ceiling mullioned windows. They had the original wooden shutters painstakingly restored and these now frame a beautiful vista of the North Downs in the background. Deanna insisted the room was painted a Wedgwood blue, with the ornate detailing of the white coving and ceiling roses picked out in the same colour. A number of colour-coordinated couches, their cushions plump and inviting, are scattered around the room. A large cinema screen dominates the wall at the far end and lining one wall, row upon row, mahogany bookshelves are home to hundreds of DVDs and 35mm film reels.
‘I told Seb I’d take him to football practice,’ Oliver says. ‘I thought you’d have a lot on your plate today.’
‘What? Oh, yes,’ Deanna says, still absorbed in the DVD cover.
‘And Jamie’s coming too.’
‘That’s good. He never knows what to do with himself.’
Oliver frowns. There’s no need to be so dismissive of their youngest son. He stares at his wife. There’s something closed off about her this morning. She’s probably punishing him for last night. As Deanna turns to leave, Oliver catches hold of her arm. He will offer an olive branch.
She freezes.
‘Sorry I arrived after you last night, Dee.’
‘Sorry isn’t good enough, Oliver,’ Deanna says, making eye contact for the first time.
‘I was called away,’ he explains. ‘Anyway, there was no harm done. The boys told me they enjoyed their evening with Amy.’
Deanna coolly surveys her husband. ‘But I told you. You need to actively embrace this challenge and put some effort into making our new life work. It’s not as if I didn’t give you plenty of warning I’d be back late. I expected you to be here.’ Incredulously, she adds, ‘I didn’t dream for one minute you’d pass over responsibility of your sons to a babysitter and go out!’
Examining the hard set of his wife’s jaw and the steel in her eyes, Oliver is momentarily transported back to ‘little boy lost’ under the gaze of his mother’s disapproval. But he is no longer that boy, and Deanna is not his mother. Letting go of her arm, he rises to his feet.
‘Life doesn’t always revolve around you, Deanna,’ he says in a level voice. ‘If I have to be elsewhere and all bases are covered, then where’s the problem in that? As you well know, I have never been neglectful of my children. If anyone’s now guilty of that it is you.’
‘Me?’ Deanna splutters, as two angry red dots appear on her cheeks. ‘How dare you? You selfish, ungrateful, uncaring brute of a man!’
Oliver takes a step back from the full force of her animosity.
Deanna marches towards the door. Before exiting the room, she turns and looks back at her husband. ‘Are you really so jealous of me now that I have a career?’
Oliver sighs. ‘No, Deanna, not jealous. I’m pleased you’ve found something that fulfils you, but I am not your puppet and I will not be dictated to. If we can all learn to be flexible, this life you’ve presented us with will work. If you cannot agree to be flexible, then it won’t. It’s as simple as that.’
Deanna stares at Oliver. Life in the theatre is satisfying and rewarding, and she loves spending time in the company of Pins and his friends. They are fast becoming like family. In fact, during the week she hardly has time to think about her real family at all, so busy is she carving out a brand-new life for herself. She knows she has Pins to thank for that. He initially sowed the seed and suggested she revisited the career that was cut off before it had the chance to take root. Now her abilities can fully develop. No longer does she have to play second fiddle to Oliver’s fame. She can step up to the person she truly is.
‘You obviously haven’t noticed,’ she says in an ice-cool voice, ‘but I have been flexible throughout our marriage. Perhaps it’s you, Oliver, who needs to bend a bit more.’
With her head held high, Deanna sweeps imperiously from the room, leaving only a disturbance of disdain in her wake.
Oliver looks on in amazement. Who the hell is this woman, and what has she done with his wife?
Forty-five
‘Here you go,’ says Janine, placing a glass of elderflower on the table in front of Cara. She pulls out the chair opposite and sits down.
‘Thanks,’ says Cara.
Janine’s daughters, Milly and Molly, stand in the shallows. Holding on tightly to Toby’s chubby hands, they swing him over the incoming ripples. Bethany, up to her knees in the sea, jumps the larger waves, and Barnaby rushes into the water to join in the game.
‘He’s a bit of all right, isn’t he?’ comments Janine, as she watches the young American throwing a ball to Sky on the beach.
‘He’s great,’ agrees Cara.
‘No, Cara, I mean, he’s a bit of all right.’ Janine casts her friend a meaningful look.
Cara laughs. ‘Yes, Johnny’s nice.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, he’s much more than that. Just look at those muscles and that tight arse!’ exclaims Janine. ‘Haven’t you noticed? Honestly, Cara. Open your eyes!’
‘I don’t see him like that.’
Janine groans. ‘Don’t tell me you only see him as a younger brother!’
‘Well, yes!’
‘Cara Penhaligon, just look at him!’ Janine leans back in her chair. ‘And he’s so good with the kids,’ she adds, letting out a sigh.
‘I know you’d like to see me with someone, Janine,
but it’s all I can do to keep everything together from one day to the next. And, besides, what fit, intelligent, young man would want to be saddled with someone almost ten years his senior?’
‘What’s ten years?’ says Janine. ‘Many men like older women. We can teach them a thing or two.’ She winks at her friend.
Cara laughs again. ‘Anyway, Greg will be over soon for the exhibition.’
‘I hope that’s all he’s coming over for,’ Janine says. She’s never warmed to that man.
Involuntarily, a guilty look sweeps across Cara’s face.
‘Oh, please don’t tell me he’s made a move on you,’ Janine exclaims.
Cara pulls a small face. ‘He’s tried…’
Extending her arm across the table, Janine takes hold of Cara’s hand. ‘No, no, no! He’s at least twenty years older than you!’
‘I’m aware of that. Anyway, by your calculations, that means I could learn a lot from him!’
‘Don’t go there, kiddo. There’s nothing that man can teach you.’
Cara blanches. ‘That’s very harsh, Janine. What Greg doesn’t know about art isn’t worth knowing and I respect him a great deal. He stretches my mind.’
‘That’s as may be, but you can only talk about art for so long. Please don’t give yourself to someone like him. You deserve so much more, my beautiful friend.’ She squeezes Cara’s hand and then lets it go.
Cara smiles sadly. ‘I had so much more,’ she says quietly. ‘Growing up, Christo was everything to me, and then Oliver…’ She shakes her head, trying to dislodge the lingering emotions from her dream.
Janine frowns. Should she tell Cara that Oliver recently visited the cove? He told her not to say anything, but they are so right for each other. Against her better judgement she bites her tongue.
‘Anyway, life has moved on,’ Cara says with a sigh, ‘and Greg offers a future.’
‘But just look, Cara.’ Janine sweeps her hand in the direction of Johnny on the beach. ‘He loves being with your kids. How can you even contemplate that older man when there’s this gorgeous, hot-blooded, young male hanging around?’
‘Janine, you are incorrigible! It must have something to do with that husband of yours being away far too long and far too often. He needs to come home now!’
Janine grins wickedly. ‘The upside of that is when he returns from the rigs we can hardly keep our hands off each other!’ She chuckles. ‘We’ve been caught out a few times and it’s made for some very athletic moves when the twins walk in unannounced.’
Cara laughs.
‘More customers,’ Janine says, looking towards the entrance door and rising to her feet. ‘Guess I’d better get into gear.’
Cara sips her elderflower cordial. Janine’s right. Johnny is pleasing to the eye and easy company, but he’s way too young for her! Placing the glass on the table, she walks to the edge of the decking and watches Toby bouncing excitedly at the approaching ripples. Having moved into the shallows, Bethany now jumps the ripples beside him. As the twins lift the little boy out of the sea, he tucks his legs up high and laughs gleefully. Cara smiles. Such a happy, easy-going child. They are so lucky to have him in their lives, and she can’t believe they are already celebrating his first birthday.
‘Cara,’ shouts Johnny, ‘come and join us.’
She steps down onto the sand and for the next twenty minutes participates in the game. After a particularly tricky catch, not least because both she and Barnaby leap for the ball at the same time, she says, ‘That’s me done. I’m all puffed out!’
Bethany approaches across the sand with Toby in her arms. The little boy squirms and reaches out to his mother.
‘Well, haven’t you had fun?’ Cara says, taking the little boy and balancing him on her hip. She wraps her hand around a chubby foot. ‘Time to get you warmed up, I think.’ She turns back to Johnny, throwing the ball to Sky. ‘Drinks anyone?’
‘Apple juice, please,’ Johnny says.
‘Orange for me, ple-e-ease!’ shouts Sky.
‘What about you, Beth?’ She glances at her daughter who is waving at someone along the beach, a wide smile adorning her face.
‘Look, Mum, it’s Morwenna.’ Bethany points towards the decking.
Cara turns. Sure enough, Morwenna stands at the edge of the decking with a large cuddly blue rabbit in her arms. Beside her is Tas. Without warning, her heart leaps. Is Oliver with him? Don’t be foolish, of course he’s not! Harnessing her emotions, Cara smiles and waves.
‘I’m just going to see Mo and Tas,’ she says, setting off towards the café.
‘I’m coming too,’ says Bethany.
‘Mo, you’ve ventured out!’ Cara says, as she steps up onto the decking.
‘Of course,’ Morwenna says sheepishly, giving her a hug. ‘I wouldn’t miss Toby’s first birthday. And how are you, precious little man?’ She tickles the little boy’s tummy and holds out the large cuddly toy to him. Toby grabs it with delight.
‘Well, hello again, oh, fairest of maidens,’ says Tas, kissing Cara on both cheeks.
He’s as she remembers: dark mop of hair, big face, twinkling eyes. A bear of a man.
‘How lovely to see you again,’ she says.
‘It’s been far too long.’ His gaze falls on Toby. ‘And what a mighty fine fella!’
Briefly Cara falters. She glances sharply at Morwenna. Has she explained to her lover exactly who her son is? Imperceptibly, Morwenna shakes her head.
‘And, my, haven’t you turned into a beautiful young lady?’ says Tas expansively, turning his attention to Bethany.
Bethany smiles shyly.
Running across the sand, Sky suddenly arrives at the steps. ‘Hello, Tas,’ he says, panting heavily. ‘Where have you been?’
‘Ah, young Sky. On an adventure, sailing the high seas. And how are you?’
‘Fine, thanks,’ the young boy answers, in his best adult voice.
‘And, let me see, is this Barnaby?’ Tas asks, as the Labrador skids to a halt beside the boy.
Sky pats the dog affectionately. ‘Yep! We’ve been playing catch with Johnny.’
Tas looks up at the approaching young man.
‘Johnny, this is the Tasmanian Devil,’ says Sky, by way of introduction.
Cara laughs. ‘His name is Tas,’ she explains.
‘Oh, right, hi!’ says Johnny.
‘An American! And what brings you over to dear old Blighty?’ Tas asks.
‘First stop on a European tour,’ Johnny explains.
Pulling out chairs, they all sit at the table Janine and Cara previously occupied. Molly and Milly join them.
‘What would you all like to drink?’ asks Janine, approaching the table.
As they place their orders, Cara is aware of Tas’s keen scrutiny of Toby. Their eyes meet and Tas smiles, but not before she’s caught the extent of his curiosity.
‘So, what’s with the Tasmanian Devil?’ Johnny asks.
‘My company,’ explains Tas. ‘The Tasmanian Devil Theatre Company. It’s had a bit of a hiatus but we’re getting back to business now.’
‘What kind of theatre do you do?’ asks Johnny with interest.
As Tas and Johnny engage in conversation, Cara glances at Morwenna. Her friend looks the happiest she’s seen her in a long time.
‘Everything going well, Mo?’ Cara asks discreetly. ‘Taking things slowly?’ She bounces Toby on her lap.
Morwenna raises her eyebrows, managing to look both embarrassed and apologetic at the same time. Cara smiles and shakes her head, recalling how full-on Tas and Morwenna were during that special summer. She so envied their easy way with each other; in sharp contrast to her and Oliver’s body language at that time. She cringes, remembering how stilted and awkward they were with each other. But that was only at the very start. They soon found their rhythm. Cara brings herself up short. Why is she doing this to herself? Don’t go there!
The afternoon sun filters onto the café’s glass-enclosed decked area, and
for the next couple of hours they celebrate Toby’s first birthday. Janine has baked a cake in the shape of a number ‘1’. With the help of his older brother, Toby manages to blow out the multi-coloured candle on top.
‘This young fella is a bonny little lad,’ says Tas, chucking Toby under the chin.
‘Yes. He’s a great little character,’ says Cara.
Tas lifts his gaze to her. ‘I didn’t know you’d had another child.’
Cara shifts in her seat. ‘Oh, full of surprises, me,’ she says non-committally.
Under Tas’s close observation, Cara busies herself changing Toby’s position on her lap.
‘Oh, give him to me, Cara,’ pleads Morwenna. ‘I need my Toby fix.’
She passes the little boy to Morwenna and glances over to Johnny. He is so natural with them all. It feels as if they’ve known him for years. Rising from her seat, she moves around the table to Sky and Johnny and joins in with their animated discussion, not daring to catch Tas’s eye.
Soon after, the party disperses.
‘Don’t hide away,’ Cara says to Morwenna, as they stand in the car park next to Tas’s American Jeep.
