Jax hands over the scrap of paper with the next of kin number on it.
“Thanks,” Gregor says, taking it. When his fingers meet Jax’s, they’re ice cold.
The last time Jax saw Gregor look this worried, he was climbing into a van on the way to try save Luke’s mate from another pack. “I’ll call and try placate them. Maybe it won’t be a problem.”
“And if it is?”
“Let’s make sure it doesn’t get to that point.” Gregor gets to his feet reluctantly. “Best thing we can do is find out who did it and take them down. Was Bennett awake when you saw him?”
Jax shakes his head.
“Hmm. He was when I got to him, but he was hysterical. I’m not sure I got the gist of it. He said the fellow smelled like burned wood. That was the scent of the alpha who followed you last night, right?” At the expression on Jax’s face, Gregor continues, “Adam told me. Let me know when Bennett wakes up?”
“I will.”
He stops on in the doorway, as if he’s forgotten something, and looks back. “What about the wild wolf? Is he going to be a problem?”
Jax shakes his head. “Not a lot I can tell you. The wild wolf...His name is Gray by the way.” Jax searches for the right words to try and describe the bizarreness of Gray along with his sheer physical presence and lack of ability to make any sense.
Gregor waits patiently while Jax pulls faces and makes helpless hand gestures like a fool. Finally, Jax just throws up his hands. “I have no idea. He’s weird. I don’t know how his mind works or what happened to him, but whatever it was, he finds it distressing. I tried asking a couple of times, and he just went…”
“Weird?”
“Yeah. I don’t think he’s done a whole lot of talking in his life, and probably didn’t spend much time learning impulse control or emotional management either.”
Gray nods slowly. “Sounds like the wild ones. If you need help with him—”
“I’ll ask. I promise.”
Gregor nods, then leaves, closing the door behind him, leaving Jax with his thoughts.
Jax doesn’t know the Fort Gosford pack, but he knows alphas. Somewhere, someone will be gearing up for a fight for no reason other than they think they might be able to win.
A buzzer sounds. Jax glances at the notification that has popped up on his computer screen.
Room 3.
He’s got a patient.
The madness of the mating run is only just starting.
If it’s anything like last year, then he’s going to be run off his feet until past nightfall. Jax sighs, readjusts his coat, then heads for Room 3 to help in the best way he knows how.
It’s almost nine in the evening when he checks the appointment system, and then the waiting room to find that there’s no one else waiting.
They’ve got two alphas in one ward, and six omegas in the other, not including Cole Bennett who has been given his own room.
There’s nothing too serious about the alphas in Jax’s opinion. One has a sprained ankle. From what Jax can understand about the other, he was attempting to impress an omega with his foraging skills and managed to irritate an entire hive of bees. Both will be going home in the morning.
The omegas are a different story. All are nervous, scared and worried about being sent back into the run. The injuries they’ve taken are a lot more personal and to an omega, inflicted by alphas.
They’re the ones Jax has spent his time on: talking through what happened, giving them their options, taking swabs and just being there while they cry.
Two of them encountered and ran from an alpha who smelled like burned wood. Neither were attacked, but they’re both badly shaken.
Jax hands over to the night nurse, with a deep sense of worry. The omegas are going to be fine, Bennett too, but they’re not going to be the only ones. The burned wolf is still out there now, and God only knows what he is thinking or doing.
He leaves the clinic, hyper-alert to all scents and sounds, and it’s only when he’s safe in his truck with the doors locked, that he lets out a sigh of relief.
There are too many unknown factors. Adam’s called in every favor they have, and every alpha from the allied packs is out there now in bright yellow high-vis monitor vests.
It doesn’t feel like enough. It doesn’t help that he can feel Gray’s presence ahead of him on the road, as if Gray is a permanent weight inside his heart. He’s wound tight as a spring, and just as ready to suddenly snap.
He’s desperate to see him, even as his head is telling him it’s a bad idea and that he should just sleep at the clinic, or check into the Grand Hotel until Gray is well enough to leave the packhouse and Jax’s medical care.
Every single existing emotion is warring inside him: fear, lust, anger, guilt, worry, desperation. It’s turning his insides to mush and making his head hurt.
By the time that Jax takes the turning into the packhouse grounds, all he can think about is seeing Gray’s face and picking up his scent again. He’s not going to do anything stupid. He promised Adam he wouldn’t but that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy being in Gray’s presence.
The lot is empty of cars, which doesn’t help. He doesn’t think that being home alone with Gray is a good idea.
He tells himself that they’re both adults. They can be sensible about this.
Despite everything, and despite his actions this morning, and the pure wildness of the man, Jax doesn’t feel in any danger from him. He can’t imagine Gray forcing himself on him. It’s possible that Jax is being a fool, but his instincts have always been right so far when it comes to alphas.
A sense of longing has him picking up his steps and walking faster. The prospect of seeing his alpha is hitting every reward center in his brain. He catalogues the knowledge as he recognizes it, but it doesn’t slow his pace.
There’s no sign of the wild wolf in the common room, although his scent is intoxicating.
Jax tells himself that he’s just going to see him. That’s all. He’s going to check that his injuries are healing, and that the wolf has been taking his medication. That is all.
But first, he needs to shower and wash off the scents of the day. He’s not going to meet his alpha smelling like he’s been cleaning wounds all day.
Jax heads down the corridor towards his bedroom and pushes open his bedroom door.
What the hell?
His bedroom is chaos. Jax stands, jaw dropped, trying to make sense of the mess. It takes him a few minutes to take it all in.
Every surface is covered in flowers: from tiny mountain daisies to Gregor’s hothouse orchids to great boughs of bougainvillea.
And in the middle of his bed, surrounded by waterlilies, are two dead rabbits.
GRAY
small choices and big towels
Gray stands in the shower, letting hot water stream over his head.
He’s got his arm in a plastic bag again, and he’s now looking forward to having the cast off so that he can shower completely naked.
The things he likes about humans are starting to stack up faster. First is Jax, of course. Then there’s the painkillers and the way the doctors fixed his arm. And there’s this.
He hadn’t appreciated it properly the first time. It had been too strange, but now that he’s under it again, with heat trickling down his hair and down his back, massaging his muscles, he doesn’t think he ever wants to get out.
There’s also something about the water and the confined space that makes his thoughts come rushing out in a stream almost as if he’d turned on his thoughts at the same time that he turned on the water.
Did he do it right? Were there too many flowers? Too few?
Collecting the flowers had been quick. Catching the rabbits had been a nightmare without wolf feet or wolf teeth. It had taken hours and made his human skin filthy. His clumsy human feet kept slipping, and the rabbits hadn’t seemed that scared of him either. If anything, they seemed bemused.
That was another thing that wasn’t a problem for w
olves.
Gray is the first to admit to himself that he’s never been a big thinker. He never had the need. First, his father took the lead and always made the right choices, but they’d never seemed that complicated. Chase that deer. Choose that cave for their winter den. Stop here to get a drink.
Their choices weren’t complicated, and they were limited. If he’d thought about it — which he hadn’t — he would have assumed that he’d have simply continued to lead the pack the same way his father did: chasing humans off their land, chasing the descendants of the deer they brought down last summer and sleeping in the same dens and caves until his own son took over and made those exact same choices over again.
Now, there are choices everywhere: small ones, like which of the multitude of soaps to choose to wash himself with, and big ones, like trying to work out what he was going to do about the ash-scented wolf.
That was just as complicated. There were too many ‘what ifs’. And every time he tries to think about him, bloody images start flashing through his mind, making his heart race and his throat close up as if he were back there again.
A loud bang sounds on the door and Gray jumps.
“We need to talk,” Jax’s says through the door.
As if Jax’s voice summoned cold water, the shower starts running cold.
Gray jumps out, careful to not slip on the tiled floor. He’s learned that one the hard way too.
He opens the door to find Jax still standing there. Jax’s brown eyes widen.
“Towel,” Jax murmurs, looking away.
Gray is still trying to work out why Jax stops looking at him when he’s aroused, but he’s learning more and more about human ways every day. It’s only a matter of time before he figures it out.
He takes the opportunity to look at Jax instead. When he first saw Jax, he took Gray’s breath away. A full day later and nothing has changed, and Gray wonders how it is that a single ordinary person can somehow seem like they’re lit by the sun even after sunset.
“What are you looking at?”
“You are so beautiful.”
Jax stares back at him like no one has ever said it to him before. Someone must have done. Jax is beautiful. It’s impossible not to see.
“Okay,” Jax says suddenly. “Please put a towel on.”
“On what?”
Jax’s eyes widen and Gray realizes that this is another human thing and he’s said something stupid. Again.
“Here,” Jax says. He reaches past Gray for the towel, and somehow wraps him in it, tucking it around him and bending it in at the top so it doesn’t fall down. Gray has to admit it’s a clever system.
Jax’s fingertips brushing across the bare skin at his waist sends a shiver up his spine, and flushes blood right to his dick. It stands to attention, making the towel stand up straight.
Jax’s face reddens. The scent of slick fills the air. Gray breathes it in greedily, not pretending to do anything else but try get in as much of Jax’s omega scent as he can.
Oh god. There’s another scent beneath it, one just as good. Gray can scent it. Jax’s heat is not long off. Gray should have known it was coming. Omegas always go into heat soon after an imprinting.
Gray can’t wait.
Jax has his eyes shut tight. His lips are pursed together. The scents haven’t gone away, but Jax looks like he’s about to.
He’s going to leave. They’re supposed to be mates and Jax is going to leave. Jax doesn’t want this.
The knowledge hits Gray like a punch to the stomach, and he lets out an involuntary whine. He brushes past Jax, needing to get away from his scent before he says or does something even more stupid.
Jax’s eyes shoot open at the contact, but Gray is already moving up the steep stairs, feeling the towel slip as it goes.
He closes the door behind him and stands in the middle of the room, panting and horny, feeling tears form at the corners of his eyes.
A softer knock sounds at the door, not as loud or sudden as the one before.
“Can I come in?”
“Yes.”
Gray has worn clothes exactly twice in his life, but this is the first time he’s ever actually felt naked. He’s starting to feel cold too. He’s not completely dry and the breeze coming through the open window makes him shiver as it hits his still-wet skin.
Jax doesn’t look at him when he sidles inside. He stays close to the door, his eyes on the floor. “Look. This whole thing? It’s complicated. Really complicated.”
Gray can’t argue with that. He doesn’t know what’s going on, and he doesn’t like it. There’s only one thing that isn’t complicated. Only one thing that he is absolutely sure of. He wants Jax to be his mate. Nothing else is important.
Jax is still staring at the floor, unwilling to even look at Gray. That hurts.
Gray crosses the floor. He needs to see Jax’s eyes when he asks the question.
Jax startles at the movement. Deep brown eyes meet Gray’s own, and Gray realizes something. Jax is scared. He asks the question anyway.
“Do you want to be my mate?”
“Yes!” The word shoots out so fast that Gray knows it’s true, but Jax claps his hand over his mouth and shuts his eyes tight again. When he opens them again, he looks sad. “Sometimes wanting something isn’t enough. Life is complicated. You know that, right?”
“Yes.” Gray wants his father back. He wants his brother back. He wants to be part of his pack again. He wants Jax. He thinks he’s not going to get any of those things.
The thoughts of his pack make the images start flashing through his head again.
It’s as if what happened is stuck in his head and making his body think it was still happening. He can’t stop them.
There are too many emotions swirling about his body, and he’s struggling to keep them from spilling out.
He needs to make it stop. Gray grits his teeth and tries to think of something else.
Jax. Jax who is right here, but he can’t touch and can’t do anything about. Gray turns away, bent over, trying to stop the images from flowing, but they don’t stop, no matter how hard he tries to think of something else.
The gray-eyed wolf twists under the jaws pinning him down. Pain rips through his neck as his flesh tears.
“Gray?” Jax’s voice sounds from far away. It’s tinged with concern.
“I can’t make it stop. I keep seeing it.”
“Seeing what?”
Bright red entrails. The stink of panicked wolves trying to escape.
Panic fills Gray’s mind. He can’t see anything. He’s stuck in his own head. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear Jax still saying something.
When he replies, he doesn’t know if he’s pleading with Jax or himself. “Just make it stop.”
JAX
orchids and ice-cold skin
The room thickens with the reek of alpha-panic. Instinct moves Jax’s legs for him, faster than he knew they could.
Gray has fallen to the floor, huddled and shaking, naked and pale, the white of the cast sharp against the paleness of his skin.
In the back of Jax’s head, there’s a calm voice telling him he knows what this is.
It’s a natural reaction to intense trauma. He needs to get Gray warm, make sure he’s safe.
That’s the back of Jax’s head. Every single other part of him is screaming that his mate is in trouble.
Jax is on the floor and has his arms around wild wolf in a second, then pulls away, just enough to look at him.
He knows Gray isn’t injured further. He just had a very good and extensive look at him, but he does it instinctively, taking stock in seconds.
The cast is still in place. The gouges and scratches are still red and raw, but they’re healing. The stitches in his neck are still there, the wound closing nicely. It’s not a physical injury that’s the problem.
Gray reeks of terror. He’s shaking hard and his skin is ice-cold. His pupils are blown wide in panic, and his breathing is r
apid and he’s gulping in air in great breaths as if he’s terrified it is going to run out.
Jax rises up to try pull the bedspread down to try warm his alpha, but Gray catches him with his free arm and pulls him into a tight hug as if Jax is the only warmth in the world.
Jax lets him, but Gray only has one arm and he has some leeway. He stretches out his free arm and catches the corner of the bedspread between his thumb and forefinger.
A moment later, they’re both covered. Jax stretches his arms out, and envelopes Gray’s body in his own, trying to cover as much of his freezing cold skin with his own, and willing his own warmth into him.
He splays his hands across Gray’s back and massages deep circles into him. Gray responds by burying his face into the curve of Jax’s neck, cold nose pressed against his scent glands.
“Ssh, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here. Sssh.”
It takes a lifetime for Gray to warm up, or at least that’s what it feels like, but gradually the shudders turn to shivers and then to deep breaths, and Gray’s breathing slows and the stink of panic subsides.
The warmth returns but Jax doesn’t stop sliding his fingers up and down Gray’s back, and Gray doesn’t stop gripping him tight or move his face away from Jax’s neck.
When they’re both warm, and the cold has turned to snug, Jax can’t help it. Gray smells overwhelming. He turns his head gently and presses his lips against the warm stubble of Gray’s cheek. Gray responds with a deep rumble from the belly and snuzzles against Jax, so Jax does it again.
Finally, Gray looks up, eyes like storm clouds staring into Jax’s own.
Jax feels his lips curve into a smile. “It’s okay. I’m here. Do you want to tell me about it?”
Gray stares at him in silence for a long time, his eyes thick with emotion, and then he does.
Jax listens without asking questions, although when Gray tells him about waking up to the scent of ash in his nostrils, he can’t help but flinch.
Gray stops.
“Then what happened?” Jax asks. Gray smells like heaven and feels even better.
When Gray starts talking again, his words are slow and deliberate as if he’s not sure how to say it out loud and has to think every word through.
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